Each of us longs to be loved and accepted for the person we truly are. There is no better opportunity than our love relationship for us to be fully ourselves. Ironically, since our partner is so central to our life, his or her validation becomes critical and we are inclined to hide our true self.
The Tool Kit No Relationship Should Be Without Long-term happiness in love depends on a couple’s ability to repair the inevitable rifts and differences, large and small, that occur in any relationship. Neuroscience suggests that relationship upsets are best mended quickly, or they accumulate in long-term memory, increase reactive communication, and become harder to repair successfully. And good repair takes five minutes or less! This book offers practical tools and suggested scripts for resolving problems and having your needs met. Following its guidance, you can turn difficulties into opportunities to foster love, trust, and thriving intimacy.
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Over a million copies sold! “An eminently practical guide to an emotionally intelligent—and long-lasting—marriage.”—Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work has revolutionized the way we understand, repair, and strengthen marriages. John Gottman’s unprecedented study of couples over a period of years has allowed him to observe the habits that can make—and break—a marriage. Here is the culmination of that work: the seven principles that guide couples on a path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Straightforward yet profound, these principles teach partners new approaches for resolving conflicts, creating new common ground, and achieving greater levels of intimacy. Gottman offers strategies and resources to help couples collaborate more effectively to resolve any problem, whether dealing with issues related to sex, money, religion, work, family, or anything else. Packed with new exercises and the latest research out of the esteemed Gottman Institute, this revised edition of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential.
All couples argue, but how do some couples get to what seems like the point of no return? Licensed marriage and family therapist Dr. Tara Fields has spent more than twenty-eight years working with couples, and she has discovered that there are five common conflict loops that couples fall into—and three steps to getting past having the same fights over and over again and onward to building a relationship where each partner feels heard, understood, respected, and loved. These steps include: Recognizing the conflict loop at play Exploring past and present fears Creating opportunities to get in touch with the deepest needs of both partners in order to find new gratitude, respect, and trust Change comes with awareness. When you’re present in the moment, conflict with your partner can become an opportunity to work through unresolved issues and to learn more about each other; it can even become a way to grow closer. In The Love Fix, Fields shares her tested and proven tools to help build stronger relationships, including: Insight from real couples who have repaired their relationships Self-assessment quizzes to get to the root of the problem Practical 3-Minute Fixes you can start using immediately HEARTwork exercises to help you dig deeper in order to reconnect It’s never too late to reignite your passion and to restore the love between you and your partner. Stop rehashing the same issues, figure out what you’re really fighting about, and start enjoying a happier, stronger relationship today.
Imagine if we treated broken hearts with the same respect and concern we have for broken arms? Psychologist Guy Winch urges us to rethink the way we deal with emotional pain, offering warm, wise, and witty advice for the broken-hearted. Real heartbreak is unmistakable. We think of nothing else. We feel nothing else. We care about nothing else. Yet while we wouldn’t expect someone to return to daily activities immediately after suffering a broken limb, heartbroken people are expected to function normally in their lives, despite the emotional pain they feel. Now psychologist Guy Winch imagines how different things would be if we paid more attention to this unique emotion—if only we can understand how heartbreak works, we can begin to fix it. Through compelling research and new scientific studies, Winch reveals how and why heartbreak impacts our brain and our behavior in dramatic and unexpected ways, regardless of our age. Emotional pain lowers our ability to reason, to think creatively, to problem solve, and to function at our best. In How to Fix a Broken Heart he focuses on two types of emotional pain—romantic heartbreak and the heartbreak that results from the loss of a cherished pet. These experiences are both accompanied by severe grief responses, yet they are not deemed as important as, for example, a formal divorce or the loss of a close relative. As a result, we are often deprived of the recognition, support, and compassion afforded to those whose heartbreak is considered more significant. Our heart might be broken, but we do not have to break with it. Winch reveals that recovering from heartbreak always starts with a decision, a determination to move on when our mind is fighting to keep us stuck. We can take control of our lives and our minds and put ourselves on the path to healing. Winch offers a toolkit on how to handle and cope with a broken heart and how to, eventually, move on.
The inspirational sequel to 12 RULES FOR LIFE, which has sold over 5 million copies around the world - now in paperback In 12 Rules for Life, acclaimed public thinker and clinical psychologist Jordan B. Peterson offered an antidote to the chaos in our lives: eternal truths applied to modern anxieties. His insights have helped millions of readers and resonated powerfully around the world. Now in this long-awaited sequel, Peterson goes further, showing that part of life's meaning comes from reaching out into the domain beyond what we know, and adapting to an ever-transforming world. While an excess of chaos threatens us with uncertainty, an excess of order leads to a lack of curiosity and creative vitality. Beyond Order therefore calls on us to balance the two fundamental principles of reality - order and chaos - and reveals the profound meaning that can be found on the path that divides them. In times of instability and suffering, Peterson reminds us that there are sources of strength on which we can all draw: insights borrowed from psychology, philosophy, and humanity's greatest myths and stories. Drawing on the hard-won truths of ancient wisdom, as well as deeply personal lessons from his own life and clinical practice, Peterson offers twelve new principles to guide readers towards a more courageous, truthful and meaningful life.
Parenting today’s teens is not for cowards. Your teenager is facing unprecedented and confusing pressures, temptations, and challenges in today’s culture. Mark Gregston has helped teens and their parents through every struggle imaginable, and now he shares his biblical, practical insights with you in bite-size pieces. Punctuated with Scriptures, prayers, and penetrating questions, these one-page devotions will give you the wisdom and assurance you need to guide your teen through these years and reach the other side with relationships intact.
The concept of the short term involves a complex network of quantitative, qualitative, and operational ideas. It is essential everywhere from the ontology of time, to the science of memory, to the preservation of art, to emotional life, to the practice of ethics. But what does the idea of the short term mean? What makes a temporal term short? What makes a time segment terminate? Is the short term a quantitative idea, or a qualitative or functional idea? When is it a good idea to understand events as short term events, and when is it a good idea to make decisions based on the short term? What does it mean for the nature of time if some of it can be short? Jay Lampert explores these questions in depth and makes use of the resources of short (as well as long) term processes in order to develop best temporal practices in ethical, aesthetic, epistemological, and metaphysical activities, both theoretical and practical. The methodology develops ideas based on the history of philosophy (from Plato to Hegel to Husserl to Deleuze), interdisciplinary studies (from cognitive science to poetics), and practical spheres where short term practices have been studied extensively (from short term psychotherapy to short term financial investments). Philosophy of the Short Term is the first book to deal systematically with the concept of the short term.
A radically effective and evidence-based anger management tool—deeply rooted in cutting-edge research We are living in an age of anger. You hear people squabbling on the news. Reality TV portrays people baiting others into anger. Neighbors are intolerant of neighbors. We see more frustration and intolerance for people with different political views, beliefs, and lifestyles. Anger is everywhere—and it has real risks, including heart disease and depression. So, how can you break free from painful, self-defeating, and dangerous anger traps? Drawing on the gold standard treatment for anger—cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)—and informed by the no-nonsense approach of rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT), this workbook is chock-full of powerful tools, exercises, and self-assessments to help you overcome destructive anger, once and for all. With this guide, you’ll discover skills for identifying and avoiding needless anger; staying cool when anger heats up; and forging a stronger, more capable, and rational sense of self. If your anger is getting in the way of your relationships, your career, your health, and your happiness, The Cognitive Behavioral Workbook for Anger can help you take charge of your anger—and your life.
Most couples — because they watch so many of their peers divorce and are themselves the products of failed marriages — don't have many successful long-term-relationship role models. Parenting and communication issues are perennial, while some challenges, like increasingly 24-7 work lives and economic hardships, mark the current decade. Despite all this, psychotherapist and clinical social worker Marcia Naomi Berger asserts that most couples can make love last — they just need to learn how. Berger answers this need with a deceptively simple prescription: have an interruption-free thirty-minute (or even shorter) meeting each week and follow an agenda that includes the kind of appreciation and planning for fun that foster intimacy and pave the way for collaborative conflict resolution. Berger has refined these techniques while working with hundreds of couples — with results that are both practical and profound.