Tales of Christmas Comedy
Tales of Christmas Comedy

Author: Seth Kinstle

Publisher: Seth Kinstle

Published: 2020-12-20

Total Pages: 33

ISBN-13:

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A few short stories that include parodies of classic Christmas characters. Maybe they can find their way among the ranks of stories that fuel the Christmas spirit. Other than that they're just some crap a crazy guy wrote. Have fun and make sure to reimagine Christmas every year to keep it fresh. Unless you're old and you don't care. Chances are no one will ever care about these stories anyways. That's not being negative that's just reality. Alternatively my optimism has a point that at least I laughed at these stories. I had a good time destroying Christmas by elevating these stories to be fit for a mature audience. Who knows maybe you'll end up telling them at the bar or on Christmas morning to have a laugh. Either way I feel like they're just a funny dumpster fire.

How to Trick a Christmas Elf
How to Trick a Christmas Elf

Author: Sue Fliess

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

Published: 2019-09-17

Total Pages: 34

ISBN-13: 1510744320

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To find out whether Santa thinks you’re naughty or nice, you’ll need to trick an elf into letting you see the list! Legend has it that the only way to find out if you’re on Santa’s naughty or nice list is to trick an elf into letting you sneak a peek! But be careful: elves are tricky themselves! To get a look at the list, you’ll need to be clever in crafting a distracting craft to catch the elf’s attention. So, grab some Christmas supplies like ribbons, twinkle lights, bows, and candy canes, and get prepared for your sly holiday visitor! On the nights leading up to Christmas, one of Santa’s elves will show up to keep watch on kids and to report on their naughty or nice behavior! However, if you’re careful and clever and quick, you can set up a beautiful little sleigh that will distract your elf, and then you’ll be sure to get a glimpse at Santa’s list! Sue Fliess’s poetic read-aloud text and Simona Sanfilippo’s vibrant, whimsical illustrations will provide much fun for young readers eager to trick their own Christmas elf and find which list they’re on! Also included are guides for teachers and parents about how to engage children in building an elf sleigh themselves and how to interest them in the history of the holiday and the many cultures that celebrate Santa’s tiny helpers.

A Christmas Story
A Christmas Story

Author: Jean Shepherd

Publisher: Crown

Published: 2010-10-27

Total Pages: 109

ISBN-13: 0307768732

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A beloved, bestselling classic of humorous and nostalgic Americana—the book that inspired the equally classic Yuletide film and the live musical on Fox. The holiday film A Christmas Story, first released in 1983, has become a bona fide Christmas perennial, gaining in stature and fame with each succeeding year. Its affectionate, wacky, and wryly realistic portrayal of an American family’s typical Christmas joys and travails in small-town Depression-era Indiana has entered our imagination and our hearts with a force equal to It’s a Wonderful Life and Miracle on 34th Street. This edition of A Christmas Story gathers together in one hilarious volume the gems of autobiographical humor that Jean Shepherd drew upon to create this enduring film. Here is young Ralphie Parker’s shocking discovery that his decoder ring is really a device to promote Ovaltine; his mother and father’s pitched battle over the fate of a lascivious leg lamp; the unleashed and unnerving savagery of Ralphie’s duel in the show with the odious bullies Scut Farkas and Grover Dill; and, most crucially, Ralphie’s unstoppable campaign to get Santa—or anyone else—to give him a Red Ryder carbine action 200-shot range model air rifle. Who cares that the whole adult world is telling him, “You’ll shoot your eye out, kid”? The pieces that comprise A Christmas Story, previously published in the larger collections In God We Trust, All Others Pay Cash and Wanda Hickey’s Night of Golden Memories, coalesce in a magical fashion to become an irresistible piece of Americana, quite the equal of the film in its ability to warm the heart and tickle the funny bone.

Llama Llama Holiday Drama
Llama Llama Holiday Drama

Author: Anna Dewdney

Publisher: Penguin

Published: 2010-10-19

Total Pages: 39

ISBN-13: 110154998X

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Llama Llama holidays. Jingle music. Lights ablaze. How long till that special date? Llama Llama has to wait. If there's one thing Llama Llama doesn't like, it's waiting. He and Mama Llama rush around, shopping for presents, baking cookies, decorating the tree . . . but how long is it until Christmas? Will it ever come? Finally, Llama Llama just can't wait any more! It takes a cuddle from Mama Llama to remind him that "Gifts are nice, but there's another: The true gift is, we have each other."

Only You Can Save Christmas!
Only You Can Save Christmas!

Author: Adam Wallace

Publisher: Sourcebooks Jabberwocky

Published: 2017

Total Pages: 40

ISBN-13: 9781492641360

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Wink the Elf asks the reader's help to get Santa's present ready for Mrs. Claus on Christmas Eve.

Fritz the Farting Reindeer Saves Christmas
Fritz the Farting Reindeer Saves Christmas

Author: Humor Heals Us

Publisher:

Published: 2020-11-27

Total Pages: 36

ISBN-13: 9781953399144

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Fritz doesn't know it, but he's a big part of saving Christmas this year. Rudolph's red nose has stopped shining. Now, Santa has no light to guide him. How will he find his way to the children's homes? A children's beloved classic, this story will have kids rolling on the floor with laughter. Adults are permitted to laugh too. Perfect for Thanksgiving, Christmas, or anytime of the year! Vote on new title names and receive freebies at humorhealsus.com

It's Christmas, David!
It's Christmas, David!

Author: David Shannon

Publisher: Scholastic Inc.

Published: 2016-09-27

Total Pages: 38

ISBN-13: 133813776X

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The bestselling star of No, David! turns Christmas traditions upside down with laugh-aloud humor. Readers of all ages will vividly remember trying to peek at hidden gift packages; writing scrolls of wish lists to Santa; and struggling to behave at formal Christmas dinner parties. Always in the background, we know Santa Claus is watching, soon to decide if David deserves a shiny new fire truck or a lump of coal under the tree. From playing with delicate ornaments to standing in an endlessly long line for Santa, here are common Christmas activities--but with David's naughty trimmings. A surefire hit that is destined to be an annual classic.

Don't Shake the Present!
Don't Shake the Present!

Author: Bill Cotter

Publisher: Sourcebooks, Inc.

Published: 2019-10-01

Total Pages: 24

ISBN-13: 1728216141

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Go on a festive and fun-filled adventure with Larry in the hilarious Christmas novelty edition of the USA Today bestselling series, Don't Push the Button! 'Tis the season for gift-giving and kids will adore this new addition to the creative and interactive series that has touched the lives of over half-a-million readers. Don't Shake the Present! is the perfect stocking stuffer, holiday gift for kids, and present for 1 year old girls and boys celebrating their first Christmas ever! Kids and parents alike will return to this wacky holiday book time and again. Larry the lovable monster has received a present, and he's desperate to know what's inside. He needs your help to figure it out. But whatever you do... DON'T SHAKE THE PRESENT! Hi, I'm Larry. This is my present. I REALLY want to open it, but I'm not allowed.

Nothing Lasts Forever (Basis for the film Die Hard)
Nothing Lasts Forever (Basis for the film Die Hard)

Author: Roderick Thorp

Publisher: Graymalkin Media

Published: 2012-12-17

Total Pages: 172

ISBN-13: 193516984X

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High atop a Los Angeles skyscraper, an office Christmas party turns into a deadly cage-match between a lone New York City cop and a gang of international terrorists. Every action fan knows it could only be the explosive big-screen blockbuster Die Hard. But before Bruce Willis blew away audiences as unstoppable hero John McClane, author Roderick Thorp knocked out thriller readers with the bestseller that started it all. A dozen heavily armed terrorists have taken hostages, issued demands, and promised bloodshed — all according to plan. But they haven’t counted on a death-defying, one-man cavalry with no shoes, no backup, and no intention of going down easily. As hot-headed cops swarm outside, and cold-blooded killers wield machine guns and rocket launchers inside, the stage is set for the ultimate showdown between anti-hero and uber-villains. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good fight... to the death. Ho ho ho!

The Stupidest Angel (v2.0)
The Stupidest Angel (v2.0)

Author: Christopher Moore

Publisher: Harper Collins

Published: 2009-10-13

Total Pages: 303

ISBN-13: 0061800325

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Now in a special holiday edition, the hilariously deranged tale of Santa, fruitcakes, angels, and Kung fu. . . . “Christopher Moore writes novels that are not only hilarious, but fun to read as well. He is an author at the top of his craft.—Nicholas Sparks ’Twas the night before Christmas . . . and all through Pine Cove, Florida, the creatures were stirring in this wonderfully funny tale that gives the spirit of Christmas a whole new meaning.