It is said of the late Henny Youngman that he could make the Sphinx crack a smile. For seventy years he tossed off one-liners that astonished and provoked and sent waves of laughter through his audiences all over the country. Here, in Take My Wife, Please!, Henny's enduring vaudeville, radio, and television routines are collected in one volume from his three previous books: How Do You Like Me So Far?, 400 Traveling Salesmen Jokes, and Bar Jokes, Bar Tricks and Bar Gags. Henny Youngman was called "the King of the One-Liners" for good reason. This collection shows why.
The comical compiler of Yo' Mama Is So . . . brings us yet another irresistibly hilarious collection of jokes, quotes, and wisecracks, this time on the funniest subject of all: marriage. When it comes to marriage, you might as well laugh. This little crowd-pleaser is chock full of more than 500 of the funniest jokes on the subject, along with the sassiest, most quotable comments ever uttered by comedians, writers, and other smart alecks. Divided into such topics as the wedding ("I Do"), newlyweds ("I Did"), and kids ("Married with Children"), and wittily illustrated by Martha Gradisher, Take My Wife . . . makes the perfect shower gift or anniversary offering? For not much more than the cost of a card. "My wife and I were happy for 20 years? then we met." -- Rodney Dangerfield "You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted." -- Henny Youngman "I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry." -- Rita Rudner
Can a wife single-handedly bring a boring or broken marriage back to life? This improved and expanded edition of Laura Doyle's acclaimed First, Kill All the Marriage Counselors features real-life success stories from empowered wives who have done just that—and provides a step-by-step guide to revitalizing your own marriage. Laura Doyle's marriage was in trouble, and couples counseling wasn't helping. On the brink of divorce, she decided to talk to women who'd been happily married for over a decade, and their advice stunned her. From it, she distilled Six Intimacy Skills—woman-centric practices that ended her overwhelm and resentment, restoring the playfulness and passion in her marriage. Now an internationally-recognized relationship coach, Doyle has shared her secrets with women around the globe, saving thousands of marriages with her fresh, revolutionary approach. Practical and counter-intuitive, the Six Intimacy Skills are about focusing on your own desires and transforming your own life—not bending over backwards to transform your husband. Incorporating these skills will empower you to: Attract his attention like a magnet when you relax more and do less Receive affection not because you told him to make more of an effort, but because he naturally seeks you out Feel more like yourself—and like yourself more If you've been trying to "fix" your relationship and it's not working, maybe the problem was never you, or your husband, or even the two of you as a couple. Maybe the problem is that nobody ever taught you the skills you need to foster respect, tenderness, and consideration. With humor and heart, The Empowered Wife shows you how to improve your relationship in ways you hadn't thought possible. You'll join a worldwide community of over 150,000 empowered wives who finally have the marriages they dreamed of when they said "I do."
Felix is recently divorced from April and currently lives in an efficiency apartment. He is Oscar’s long-time, best friend. Oscar is a womanizer and is married to Diane. His business is finally taking off, so he starts an affair with a young, tantalizing girlfriend, named Cyndi. Cyndi, is a naive young lady, in her first year of college. She lives in an all-girls dorm. Who thinks Oscar, is separated? Oscar’s life is going great, but for one thing? His marriage, to his faithful wife, Diane. He wants to get rid of her, but how? He comes up with a crazy idea, to solve all his problems. He only needs to persuade Felix, to seduce his wife, and film it on video, as grounds for divorce. The question is... Will Felix, do it? Or rather, do her?
“I am a well-loved wife.” Is this something your wife would say? Here’s your guide to making those words a reality in your marriage. What do women want? This question has stumped the greatest male minds for centuries. Of course, if you’re married, a much better question is, “What does your wife want?” As Darrin and Amie Patrick reveal in this profoundly practical and transformational book, God designed your wife to want—to need—to be loved. And that design is an invitation for you to love her deeply, intentionally and passionately. Practicing ten powerful actions—including listening, pursuing, and serving—will transform you into your wife’s lifelong champion and have her nominating you for the Husband Hall of Fame. The Dude’s Guide to Marriage is for guys who want to grow, who want clear steps to improving their marriage. It’s for men who want a marriage that thrives rather than just survives. Grab this guide, and get ready to be a better husband by becoming a better man.
When a woman disappears with her two children, one husband will do anything to find them--even confront the secrets of his own past--in D. J. Palmer's My Wife Is Missing, a twisty thriller from the author of The New Husband. A family vacation turns into a nightmare for Michael Hart when he discovers his wife and two children have disappeared from their New York City hotel room. Horrified, he fears they’ve been kidnapped. Michael’s frantic search to find them takes a shocking turn when he discovers that his wife, Natalie, appears to have left quite willingly, taking their children with her. The police want to know why, and so does Michael. But there may be a reason why Natalie ran, something Michael can’t tell the police—the truth about his past. While untangling his deceptions might be the key to locating Natalie, Michael knows it could also be his undoing. To find his wife, he must now turn to the one person capable of exposing all that he’s been hiding. Natalie thinks she has Michael all figured out and has hatched a plan to escape from him permanently. One detail, though, threatens to derail her efforts: sleep—or more accurately, the lack of it. Since the moment the shocking revelations about her husband came to light, Natalie’s insomnia has worsened to the point that she now suffers from delusions. Are her fears about Michael valid—or a symptom of her condition? With her children’s lives at risk, the stakes for Natalie could not be higher. On her own, running low on energy and resources, avoiding increasingly close calls with Michael—who is on the hunt and closing in fast—Natalie needs someone to turn to for help. But who can she trust when she can’t even trust herself?
Mark and Giulia's life together began as a storybook romance. They fell in love at eighteen, married at twenty-four, and were living their dream life in San Francisco. When Giulia was twenty-seven, she suffered a terrifying and unexpected psychotic break that landed her in the psych ward for nearly a month. One day she was vibrant and well-adjusted; the next she was delusional and suicidal, convinced that she was the devil and that her loved ones were not safe. All she wanted was to die. Eventually, Giulia fully recovered, and the couple had a son. But, soon after Jonas was born, Giulia had another breakdown, and then a third a few years after that. pushed to the edge of the abyss, everything the couple had once taken for granted was upended. A story of the fragility of the mind, and the tenacity of the human spirit, My Lovely Wife is, above all, a love story that raises profound questions: How do we care for the people we love? What and who do we live for? Breathtaking in its candor, radiant with compassion, and written with dazzling lyricism, Lukach's is an intensely personal odyssey through the harrowing years of his wife's mental illness, anchored by an abiding devotion to family that will affirm readers' faith in the power of love.
An Intensely Practical Guide for Husbands Looking to Strengthen, Save, or Spice up Their Marriage Most men don't know how to date their wives. They did it before, but they've forgotten how, or they're trying but it just doesn't seem to be working. Justin Buzzard helps men re-learn this all-important skill from a position of security in the gospel of grace. As a father of three boys and husband, Justin offers guys a helping hand, good news, and wise counsel, along with: 100 practical ideas for how to date your wife Action steps at the end of each chapter Personal stories and real-life examples All types of marriages—good ones, mediocre ones, and bad ones—will experience a jumpstart as a result of hearing, believing, and living the message of Date Your Wife.
