You’d think Polly Martin would have all the answers when it comes to love—after all, her grandmother is the famous syndicated advice columnist Miss Swoon. But after a junior year full of dating disasters, Polly has sworn off boys. This summer, she’s going to focus on herself for once. So Polly is happy when she finds out Grandma is moving in—think of all the great advice she’ll get. But Miss Swoon turns out to be a man-crazy sexagenarian! How can Polly stop herself from falling for Xander Cooper, the suddenly-hot skateboarder who keeps showing up while she’s working at Wild Waves water park, when Grandma is picking up guys at the bookstore and flirting with the dishwasher repairman? No advice column can prepare Polly for what happens when she goes on a group camping trip with three too many ex-boyfriends and the tempting Xander. Polly is forced to face her feelings and figure out if she can be in love—and still be herself.
"Life wants you dead, and this book wants to be READ! Ha ha I love being a comedian.” —Patton Oswalt "Truly hilarious!" —Jack Handey, author of Deep Thoughts Fear!!! Scary, right? But what if the only thing we shouldn't fear is fear itself? In this era of economic turmoil, climate catastrophe, and cliques of cool teens just waiting to make fun of your shoes, we live in a heightened state of fear. We're afraid of the world and afraid of each other—but not nearly as afraid as we should be! And this absurdly hilarious survival guide demonstrates that being afraid of literally everything is the only guaranteed way to stay safe. Packed with lifesaving/fear-fanning illustrations, sidebars, jump scares, chilling one-liners, and more, these pages will keep readers safe from the scourges of love, technology, birds, education, jackalopes, their own bodies, their homes, and the world outside their own bodies and homes. Includes a bonus foldout Fear Map lurking in the inside back cover. A BOOK TO KEEP YOU SAFE IN THESE ANXIOUS TIMES: Anxious and fearful about the state of the world? Friend, you are not frightened enough! Never mind the asteroid hurtling toward Earth. That bird over there? It's just waiting for the chance to swoop down and peck at your eyes. Your shoelaces? Trying to strangle your feet. From the stop signs obviously attempting to dead-end your life to that creep in the mirror who looks exactly like you, danger is everywhere. And your best survival strategy is to be afraid of everything at all times. SEVEN SCARY CHAPTERS TO KEEP YOU COMPREHENSIVELY APPREHENSIVE: Your Body: It Isn’t a F*cking Wonderland, John Mayer Love: They’re Trying to Steal Your Heart!!! Home Is Where the Harm Is: You’re in a Hallway to Hell Go Go Gadget Death: Surviving the Techpocalypse The Hippocratic Hoax: Defeating the Medical Menace Mind-Fucked: How Education Kills Be the Fear You Want to Flee in the World THE BOOK ITSELF IS A THREAT: With pointy hardcover corners, pages that could slap you, and a removable foldout Fear Map ready to strike at your nerves from the book's inside back cover, this humor book is unsafe to buy for yourself or to give as a gift to everyone you love. Perfect for: Comedy fans of The Onion, ClickHole, The Daily Show, and Last Week Tonight with John Oliver Fear-ridden readers of The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook Anyone in need of a laugh in these anxiety-driven times
Young warrior. Brave girl. Precocious little sister. The twins must fight for their lives! In the woods on a backward planet, called Xanis by its natives, an attack is brewing. A peaceful hold falls to enemies and House Lonmere’s extensive family is decimated with only the youngest and oldest children surviving. Kit and Megs, sheltered and protected at Lonmere for so long, are now caught up in a desperate attempt to flee from the foreign mercenaries who murdered the rest of their family. But, there is no stopping the abilities they both feel growing in their consciousness. Awareness of some deep and abiding wonder become strikingly clear when both hear the Song for the first time. Jans and Jon Stockwell, twin brothers and operatives from an advanced civilization assigned to the Brandish-Lonmere line are frantic. Forbidden to use modern tech, they could not stop the attack and subsequent deaths. Now, they must protect the two youngest surviving children at all costs. For in these children, the long awaited extra-sensory perception talents their clandestine genetics program has cultivated over the past centuries, are about to bear fruit. The twins are left with no choice. Risking their jobs and freedom, Jans and Jon must break every rule they swore to uphold. Two very different civilizations; one primitive and one advanced, are about to crash against each other’s shores with profound and far-reaching consequences.
This is the entire series put into one book. Paperback edition.They took too much.Left too little.I had nothing to lose...until him.*****************~Lana~I didn't expect him.I didn't want to fall in love.But I can't let him go.Logan Bennett makes the world a safer place.He's brilliant.He's a hero.He locks away the sick and depraved.But while he's saving lives, I'm taking them. Collecting the debts that are owed to me.Ten years ago, they took from me. They left me for dead.They should have made sure I stayed dead.Now I'm taking from them.One name at a time.I've trained for too long.I've been patient.I can't stop now.Revenge is best served cold...They never see me coming, until I paint their walls red.Logan doesn't know how they hurt me. He doesn't know about the screams they ignored. He doesn't know how twisted that town really is.He just knows people are dying.He doesn't know he's in love with their killer.No one suspects a dead girl.And Logan doesn't suspect the girl in his bed.They're looking for a monster.Not a girl who loves red.Not a girl in love.I'm a faceless nightmare.At least until I tell them the story they've pretended never happened.But in the end, will Logan choose them? Or will we watch them burn together?**Graphic**Adult language**Some triggers could be too much for the easily disturbed reader**Sexual content**Fucked up moral compass; read at your own risk.
You'd think that Polly Martin would have all the answers when it comes to love since her grandmother is the famouse syndicated advice columnist Miss Swoon. But after a year of dating disasters, Polly has sworn off love. Now she's working for the summer at Wild Waves Western-themed water park, supervised by a former boyfriend. But then her grandmother moves in for the summer and becomes a man-crazy sexagenarian. During the summer Polly must face her feeling and figure out if she can be in love and still be herself.
B. Ruby Rich designated a brand new genre, the New Queer Cinema (NQC), in her groundbreaking article in the Village Voice in 1992. This movement in film and video was intensely political and aesthetically innovative, made possible by the debut of the camcorder, and driven initially by outrage over the unchecked spread of AIDS. The genre has grown to include an entire generation of queer artists, filmmakers, and activists. As a critic, curator, journalist, and scholar, Rich has been inextricably linked to the New Queer Cinema from its inception. This volume presents her new thoughts on the topic, as well as bringing together the best of her writing on the NQC. She follows this cinematic movement from its origins in the mid-1980s all the way to the present in essays and articles directed at a range of audiences, from readers of academic journals to popular glossies and weekly newspapers. She presents her insights into such NQC pioneers as Derek Jarman and Isaac Julien and investigates such celebrated films as Go Fish, Brokeback Mountain, Itty Bitty Titty Committee, and Milk. In addition to exploring less-known films and international cinemas (including Latin American and French films and videos), she documents the more recent incarnations of the NQC on screen, on the web, and in art galleries.
Colorful, shaggy, and unkempt, misfits and outlaws, the 1993 Phillies played hard and partied hard. Led by Darren Daulton, John Kruk, Lenny Dykstra, and Mitch Williams, it was a team the fans loved and continue to love today. Focusing on six key members of the team, Macho Row follows the remarkable season with an up-close look at the players’ lives, the team’s triumphs and failures, and what made this group so unique and so successful. With a throwback mentality, the team adhered to baseball’s Code. Designed to preserve the moral fabric of the game, the Code’s unwritten rules formed the bedrock of this diehard team whose players paid homage and respect to the game at all times. Trusting one another and avoiding any notions of superstardom, they consistently rubbed the opposition the wrong way and didn’t care. William C. Kashatus pulls back the covers on this old-school band of brothers, depicting the highs and lows and their brash style while also digging into the suspected steroid use of players on the team. Macho Row is a story of winning and losing, success and failure, and the emotional highs and lows that accompany them.
