Well, this is just SUPER! Who knew that one little superhero costume could cause so much trouble? One minute I’m following the trail of a stolen artifact that might have been used for murder at a costume company, and the next I’m chasing an evil supervillain and an enchanted car around town. And to make things worse, apparently the cat and the frog are on the beach. But that isn’t possible. Enchanted doesn’t have a beach!
Croakies has cracked? How is that possible? This is going to be a nightmare if it spreads into the city. I’ve got to figure out what’s going on before that happens, or Croakies isn’t going to be the only thing that cracks! Just when I thought I was starting to hit my stride in this magical artifact librarian gig, everything turns topsy turvy. Several dangerous and toxic artifacts escape from the Powers That Be and one of them lands at Croakies. Because, of course it does. The artifact has cracked Croakies right down the middle and there doesn’t seem to be any way to fix it. In a desperate and potentially deadly move, my crew and I are going on a quest for magical objects that the resident out-of-the-box thinkers believe might seal the crack. I have no idea if the items will solve our problem. But I’m desperate enough to give it a try. I only hope we all survive to find the cure.
I wish my job as a magical librarian was just about shuffling books and shushing people from behind a desk. Alas, the magic I wrangle requires a bit more than shuffling and shushing. And to make things worse, I have a frog and a cat, and I have no idea how to use them! Sure, I understand, we all have bills to pay. Personally, I could use a bit of extra cash too. But I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t kill for it. At least…not without dark magic influence. And that’s exactly the problem. Dark. Magic. Influence. My first challenge for the day is finding that artifact and putting it under lock and key before it kills anybody else. My second challenge is figuring out how to deal with a bossy frog and a pushy cat. Which of the two do you suppose will give me the bigger headache? Yeah. That’s what I think too. The frog and cat are going to be the death of my sanity. Maybe I should put them under lock and key too.
The heart holds the potential for great love…and a deadly need to protect it. Love potion? Really? I don’t have enough trouble dealing with a cranky assistant, a mouthy frog, an opinionated cat, and a hobgoblin who thinks getting smacked upside the head is the best kind of fun? Now I’m dealing with a love potion that turns a delightful human emotion into a death sentence. Banshee bunions! As if I didn’t already have enough trouble with my love life. Now I have to save someone else from dying of love. This magical librarian gig is going to be the death of me. Or…you know…of someone else.
A frog, a cat, and a hobgoblin walk into a bar…in the Jurassic period. Nope…not kidding. Okay, maybe it wasn’t really a bar. But it was definitely the local drinking establishment. For dinosaurs… My old mentor, Alice Parker is back, and she’s brought a problem with her. A big one. One that’s already testing the sprite’s ability to keep it in lettuce and strawberries. It turns out that Alice has been on the run for a minute, trying to protect a magical tortoise from a dangerous sorceress who wants it for herself. You might be wondering why anybody would want to steal a tortoise. Well, if you had the chance to travel through time at the push of a button, or rather the press of a turtle’s shell, would you take it? Yeah, me neither. I have enough trouble dealing with this time and world… But clearly, we aren’t all diabolical magic users bent on our own empowerment. I mean, the possibilities for evil are unending if one can time-hop at will. Luckily, I have two cats, two frogs, and a hobgoblin to help me stave off the latest crisis. The only question is…what am I going to do with a former KoA who was as ineffectual at the Keeper’s job as the goddess’s torn pantyhose are at holding water. The only thing she’d been worse at was training me! And, more importantly, now that she’s here…how am I going to get rid of her? Holy turtle trousers, this Keeper gig gets more challenging by the day…or the millennia!
Sometimes the only decision you can make is the wrong one. Then, all you can hope for is that two wrongs DO make a right. Also, don’t mess with Dave. Someone has taken Queen Sindra and all the fae and locked them away. He’s demanding the most powerful artifact in the universe in exchange for their release. Unfortunately, the artifact is in the protective custody of The Universe, which is the main governing body for all magic. It’s being protected by a powerful magician, a three-headed anti-mythological feline, and a guy named Dave. Don’t ask me about the Dave thing. I don’t have a clue. The only way we can save the entire fae population is to get our hands on that artifact. Our journey promises to be epic. Alas, it doesn’t promise to be successful. Any way I look at it, things stand a really good chance of going horribly, epically wrong. Good thing I’m used to things going hideously wrong. In fact, it’s become something of a signature move for me.
Sticks and stones can break my bones, but wrinkles might actually kill me! Just when I think I understand life, the Universe flings a magic booger at me. It just doesn’t pay to think you’ve got a handle on things. For example, my favorite customer, Mrs. Foxladle, got into a simple disagreement with her book club friends over their obsession with youth and beauty. The next thing you know, they’re all dead. Did Mrs. Foxladle kill them? It certainly seems like a possibility. But I’m still holding on to the hope that I’m dealing with a rogue magical artifact in the hands of someone with diabolical intent. Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to figure out what it is and who’s wielding it with deadly results. I was counting on Detective Grym, a real rock of a guy, to help me find the culprits. But Grym’s lifespan just turned unpredictable. (You could say things are a bit rocky for him right now.) Which leaves solving the mystery up to me and my friends. It's just a really good thing I have a cat and a frog and… Yeah, about that… I’m really no closer to figuring out how to use them either. Holy goblin phlegm! This magic wrangling stuff is hard!
This is no boring librarian shushing people from behind a desk. This librarian corrals rogue magic. But more importantly, she has a frog and a cat, and she’s not afraid to use them! I knew when I woke up with a migraine that things were going to get interesting. As a magical artifact wrangler, it’s not an unusual way to start my day. But I had no idea how bad it was going to get. Until I found a frog sitting in my teacup. Even that, I could explain to myself if I had to. After all, I have a creative mind. But when the frog started talking to me, yeah, I was pretty sure I’d taken the wrong kind of pill that morning for my headache. If only I’d realized then what I know now. The talking frog was just the beginning of my problems. And quite a beginning it was!
Good parenting advice: Only allow your small frog, cat, and hobgoblin limited and supervised television time, or risk stunting their mental and physical growth. Yeah, it might already be too late for that… It seemed like good, innocent fun. A trip back to a simpler time, a fun jaunt to the “good old days”. It turned out to be anything but harmless. The “kids” loved the old, black and white shows. But, per usual at Croakies, things devolved quickly, transforming “quiet” time into a heart-pounding adventure. And of course, as you’d expect, the frog, the cat, and the hobgoblin are right in the middle of it all. I’m a total derf at this whole parenting thing. And my “children” are brats. Holy flippin’ frog flatulence. So much for the good old days…
In the 87 issues of Snow Country published between 1988 and 1999, the reader can find the defining coverage of mountain resorts, ski technique and equipment, racing, cross-country touring, and the growing sport of snowboarding during a period of radical change. The award-winning magazine of mountain sports and living tracks the environmental impact of ski area development, and people moving to the mountains to work and live.
