One of the world’s leading experts on infidelity provides a step-by-step guide through the process of infidelity—from suspicion and revelation to healing, and provides profound, practical guidance to prevent infidelity and, if it happens, recover and heal from it. You’re right to be cautious when you hear these words: “I’m telling you, we’re just friends.” Good people in good marriages are having affairs. The workplace and the Internet have become fertile breeding grounds for “friendships” that can slowly and insidiously turn into love affairs. Yet you can protect your relationship from emotional or sexual betrayal by recognizing the red flags that mark the stages of slipping into an improper, dangerous intimacy that can threaten your marriage.
Success in work, love, and life depends on developing habits that activate the powerful prefrontal cortex when we need it most. Unfortunately, under stress, the human brain tends to revert to emotional habits we forged in toddlerhood: blame, denial, avoidance, reacting to a jerk like a jerk, and turning our connections into cold shoulders—or worse. In Soar Above, renowned relationship expert Dr. Steven Stosny offers a ground-breaking formula for building new, pressure-resistant habits. Based on research in psychology, neurobiology, and anthropology, Stosny will show anyone how to switch to the adult brain automatically when things get tough and to soar above the impulse to make things worse. Filled with engaging examples from his lectures and therapeutic work with more than 6,000 clients, he explains how to use two potent laws of emotion interaction--reciprocity and contagion-- to inspire those around you, creating collaboration and community instead of chaos and confusion. Most importantly, readers will learn how, through practice, they can get off the treadmill of repeating past mistakes to become their best selves at home, at work, and in the world. Stress is inevitable in life, but this illuminating book gives anyone the practical tools to rise above.
Attachment abuse can involve both physical and emotional violence between people in close relationships, which includes couples, parents and their children, and adult children and their aging parents, among others. Attachment abusers blame their victims for their own feelings of shame, inadequacy, or inability to love. Dr. Stosnyís innovative and integrative approach to the treatment of attachment abuse emphasizes the importance of compassion for both the abused and the abuser. This hands-on manual provides a series of treatment modules designed to teach the perpetrators and the victims how to cope with their feelings and to end attachment abuse. This volume will be of interest to psychotherapists, group therapists, social workers, and counselors working with abusive clients and their victims.
Offers practical suggestions for how to enhance a marriage, explains behaviors that can break up a marriage, and argues that talking about a relationship will not bring partners closer together.
Please note: This is a companion version & not the original book. Sample Book Insights: #1 The pain of intimate betrayal is real and comes from a primitive part of the brain that developed to protect us from leaving the tribe. It is highly irrational, but it is nonetheless powerful. #2 Intimate betrayal is defined as a sudden revelation or a gradual realization of your partner having lied, manipulated, stolen, or cheated. It can be difficult to deal with, as it can strike suddenly and unexpectedly, or it can be a gradual realization of your life never being the same after your partner’s betrayal. #3 betrayal and anger are typically inseparable, for a while. The reasons are more biological than psychological. Anger temporarily numb pain and provide a surge of energy to overcome perceived threat. #4 The cycle of anger and resentment that typically follows intimate betrayal is: you think about the betrayal and get angry. The anger increases your energy, confidence, and sense of power. Then the amphetamine crash happens. The loss of energy and power create a void that is soon filled by self-doubt, depressed mood, or numbness.
Focused and timely. . . . Chapters on special issues highlight marital rape, legal factors, the recovery process, and prevention. Important factual information is interspersed with painfully graphic first-person responses from survivors. This book is an important contribution to the trauma and recovery literature. --Terry L. Sweig in READINGS: A Journal of Reviews and Commentary in Mental Health "This book addresses the problem of acquaintance rape and its complexity in a comprehensive manner. The book provides helpful information and treatment suggestions for those professionals who wish to know more about this important issue. It is a useful addition to the field of mental health." --Doody′s Health Sciences Book Review Journal "Spousal rape and acquaintance rape are treated in this book. It is an important text for therapists in the field." --Ron MacIssac, review in What′s Happening?, Victoria, B.C. Every year thousands of women are raped by someone they know and never report the sexual assault, partly because acquaintance rape is still widely misunderstood in our society and victims are often blamed for the crime. Addressing a need to change perceptions about this type of assault, this important book informs and educates about the nature of acquaintance rape and its impact on the victim, intervention, and prevention. The chapters on intervention include material on crisis intervention, tools for effective rape counseling, and strategies for meeting the psychosocial needs of survivors who are facing long-term recovery due to previous sexual assault victimization. Survivors vividly describe the events in their own words, bringing home the horror of acquaintance rape and the immediate need for action to prevent it. The authors also offer a special chapter on marital rape to expose this long-denied and insidious form of rape. In addition, a useful review of current literature pinpoints interventions crucial to rape prevention. Intimate Betrayal is essential reading for mental health professionals; crisis centers, student services, and law enforcement personnel; pastoral counselors, legal professionals; social workers; and advanced clinical students. But in addition to the helping professionals, this memorable book provides information important to any reader interested in understanding the nature and treatment of acquaintance rape.
From the bestselling author of How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking comes an enlightening exploration of the toxic relationship epidemic in America and advice on how to fix these abusive tendencies. As many as one-third of all American women tiptoe through life as if they are walking on eggshells. At home, they spend most of their time trying to avoid criticism, anger, put-downs, or cold shoulders from their husbands or boyfriends. This verbal and emotional abuse can erupt over anything and everything, matters large and small: housework, cooking, work, spending money, buying household items and clothes for the kids, and going out. Clearly, verbal and emotional abuse is a serious problem. Relationship expert Dr. Steven Stosny has been featured on national media for the revolutionary techniques he uses in his CompassionPower and Boot Camp programs, which help men rewire their resentment and anger, stop using emotionally abusive language and behavior, and compassionately recommit to their marriages and families. Now, in You Don't Have to Take It Anymore, Dr. Stosny puts his effective, highly sought-after program into print, making it widely available for the first time for women who want to stop walking on eggshells. Drawing on his seventeen years of experience treating thousands of clients, Dr. Stosny explains the many different forms a verbally and emotionally abusive relationship can take, how to identify abuse, and why it's important to take action to change the relationship. Dr. Stosny shows women and men how to apply his methods at home, shows women how to get their men to change, and demonstrates how they can know if change is permanent. Additionally, Dr. Stosny's program helps women recover from the pain and abuse by practicing self-healing skills so that they can reclaim their natural sense of competence and confidence. Using language that is more compassionate and accessible than in any other book on relationship abuse, You Don't Have to Take It Anymore presents a practical program that both women and men can use to stop verbal and emotional abuse.
This local study of the impact of political violence on a Maya Indian village is based on intensive fieldwork in the department of El Quiche, Guatemala, during 1988-1990. It examines the processes of fragmentation and realignment in a community undergoing rapid and violent change and relates local, social, cultural, and psychological phenomena to t
The contributions in this volume offer a comprehensive analysis of transitional justice from 1945 to the present. They focus on retribution against the leaders and agents of the autocratic regime preceding the democratic transition, and on reparation to its victims. Part I contains general theoretical discussions of retribution and reparation. The essays in Part II survey transitional justice in the wake of World War II, covering Austria, Belgium, Denmark, France, Germany, Hungary, the Netherlands, and Norway. In Part III, the contributors discuss more recent transitions in Argentina, Chile, Eastern Europe, the former German Democratic Republic, and South Africa, including a chapter on the reparation of injustice in some of these transitions. The editor provides a general introduction, brief introductions to each part, and a conclusion that looks beyond regime transitions to broader issues of rectifying historical injustice.
An essential guide for ending the cycle of resentment, pain, and abuse and developing a loving relationship Are you the victim of a chronic anger, verbal or emotional abuse? Do you constantly second-guess your thoughts and behavior to avoid being hurt or put down by your husband or boyfriend? If you are among the one out of three women trapped in a hurtful relationship, you can end the abuse and rebuild a loving, compassionate environment for you and your family. In Love Without Hurt, psychotherapist Dr. Steven Stosny explains the many forms of verbally and emotionally abusive relationships so you can identify abuse and why it's so important to take action to change your relationship-especially because, if you have children, they have become innocent victims of the same abuse. Drawing from the revolutionary techniques of his CompassionPower "boot camp," this practical program shows you self-healing techniques to help you recover from the pain and abuse, as well as methods for your partner to rewire his anger, resentment, and abusive behavior. Love Without Hurt is an essential guide for ending the cycle of resentment, pain, and abuse and developing a loving relationship.
