Spinglish
Spinglish

Author: Henry Beard

Publisher: Penguin

Published: 2015-06-02

Total Pages: 370

ISBN-13: 0698179013

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Spinglish—the devious dialect of English used by professional spin doctors—is all around us. And the fact is, until you’ve mastered it, politicians and corporations (not to mention your colleagues and friends) will continue putting things over on you, and generally getting the better of you, every minute of every day—without your even knowing it. However, once you perfect the art of terminological inexactitude, you’ll be the one manipulating and one-upping everyone else! And here’s the beauty part: Henry Beard and Christopher Cerf, authors of the New York Times semi-bestseller The Official Politically Correct Dictionary and Handbook, have compiled this handy yet astonishingly comprehensive lexicon and translation guide—a fictionary, if you will—to help you do just that. If you want to succeed in business (or politics, sports, the arts, or life in general) without really lying, this is the book for you! (Your results may vary.) Spinglish includes these nifty bits of spurious verbiage and over a thousand more: aesthetic procedure – face-lift dairy nutrients – cow manure enhanced interrogation techniques – torture “For your convenience.” – “For our convenience.” hands-on mentoring – sexual relations with a junior employee incomplete success – failure rightsizing – firing people zero-tasking – doing nothing With each and every entry sourced from some of the greatest real-life language benders in the world today, you’re virtually guaranteed to have the perfectly chosen tried-and-untrue term right at the tip of your forked tongue. Wish you could nimbly sidestep a question without batting an eye? Not sure how to apologize while also . . . not apologizing? Spinglish has you covered. Simply consult this convenient, shoot-from-the-lip glossary, and before you know it, you’ll be telling it like it isn’t, it wasn’t, and it couldn’t ever have been.

Spinglish
Spinglish

Author: Henry Beard

Publisher: Penguin

Published: 2015-06-02

Total Pages: 370

ISBN-13: 0399172394

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Spinglish—the devious dialect of English used by professional spin doctors—is all around us. And the fact is, until you’ve mastered it, politicians and corporations (not to mention your colleagues and friends) will continue putting things over on you, and generally getting the better of you, every minute of every day—without your even knowing it. However, once you perfect the art of terminological inexactitude, you’ll be the one manipulating and one-upping everyone else! And here’s the beauty part: Henry Beard and Christopher Cerf, authors of the New York Times semi-bestseller The Official Politically Correct Dictionary and Handbook, have compiled this handy yet astonishingly comprehensive lexicon and translation guide—a fictionary, if you will—to help you do just that. If you want to succeed in business (or politics, sports, the arts, or life in general) without really lying, this is the book for you! (Your results may vary.) Spinglish includes these nifty bits of spurious verbiage and over a thousand more: aesthetic procedure – face-lift dairy nutrients – cow manure enhanced interrogation techniques – torture “For your convenience.” – “For our convenience.” hands-on mentoring – sexual relations with a junior employee incomplete success – failure rightsizing – firing people zero-tasking – doing nothing With each and every entry sourced from some of the greatest real-life language benders in the world today, you’re virtually guaranteed to have the perfectly chosen tried-and-untrue term right at the tip of your forked tongue. Wish you could nimbly sidestep a question without batting an eye? Not sure how to apologize while also . . . not apologizing? Spinglish has you covered. Simply consult this convenient, shoot-from-the-lip glossary, and before you know it, you’ll be telling it like it isn’t, it wasn’t, and it couldn’t ever have been.

Encyclopedia Paranoiaca
Encyclopedia Paranoiaca

Author:

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

Published: 2012-11-20

Total Pages: 388

ISBN-13: 1439199558

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An informative compendium of surprising ways you might die a horrible death at any moment from humor writers Henry Beard and Christopher Cerf.

The Official Politically Correct Dictionary and Handbook
The Official Politically Correct Dictionary and Handbook

Author: Henry Beard

Publisher:

Published: 1993

Total Pages: 212

ISBN-13:

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Newly expanded and up-to-the-minute, a bestselling guide to survival in multicultural America in the sensitive 1990s. Includes even more real and satirical definitions to help keep thought cops away. Illustrated throughout.

A Skunk in My Bunk!
A Skunk in My Bunk!

Author: Christopher Cerf

Publisher: Random House Books for Young Readers

Published: 2019-05-07

Total Pages: 25

ISBN-13: 0525578749

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A playful easy reader in the tradition of Dr. Seuss's Hop on Pop that teaches the basics of word construction. From award-winning humorist Christopher Cerf comes a super-simple, delightfully silly Beginner Book in which the rhymed text and the position of the words on the page teach the basics of word construction. Written in the style of Dr. Seuss's classic Hop on Pop with rhyming words placed directly above each other to show their shared construction, A Skunk in My Bunk! combines phonics and word recognition to make learning to read easy—and fun! With bright, charming illustrations by Nicola Slater, kids will be delighted to read for themselves about a goat in a coat in a boat in a moat, a pig in a wig dancing a jig, a skunk in a bunk, and much, much more! Beginner Books are fun, funny, and easy to read! Launched by Dr. Seuss in 1957 with the publication of The Cat in the Hat, this beloved early reader series motivates children to read on their own by using simple words with illustrations that give clues to their meaning. Featuring a combination of kid appeal, supportive vocabulary, and bright, cheerful art, Beginner Books will encourage a love of reading in children ages 3–7.

X-Treme Latin
X-Treme Latin

Author: Henry Beard

Publisher: Penguin

Published: 2005-03-03

Total Pages: 132

ISBN-13: 9781592401048

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In staff meetings and singles bars, on freeways and fairways, there are aggravating people lurking everywhere these days. But bestselling humorist Henry Beard has the perfect comeback for all prickly situations, offering a slew of quips your nemesis won't soon forget . . . or even understand. Beard's gift is his ability to make fun of popular culture and the current zeitgeist. In X-Treme Latin he provides Latin with an attitude, an indispensable phrasebook that taps the secret power of Latin to deliver, in total safety, hundreds of impeccable put-downs, comebacks, and wisecracks. Within its pages you will learn how to insult or fire coworkers; blame corporate scandals on someone else; cheer at a World Wrestling Entertainment match; talk back to your computer, TV, or Game Boy; deal with your road rage; evade threatening situations; snowboard in style; talk like Tony Soprano; and much more. With dozens more zingers for quashing e-mail pranks, psyching out your golf opponent, giving backhanded compliments, and evading awkward questions, X-Treme Latin is destined for magnus popularity and will have readers cheering, “Celebremus!”

Latin for All Occasions
Latin for All Occasions

Author: Henry Beard

Publisher: Penguin

Published: 2004-08-19

Total Pages: 180

ISBN-13: 9781592400805

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With more than 200,000 copies in print, Latin for All Occasions and its follow-up, Latin for Even More Occasions, have helped scores of readers harness the language of Caesar and Cicero. Impress your boss with Occupational Latin (Lingua Latina Occupationi); sell your product with Sales Latin (Lingua Latina Mercatoria); flirt with your classics professor with Sensual Latin (Lingua Latina Libidinosa); look like the hipster you are with Pop-Cultural Latin (Lingua Latina Popularis); survive the holidays with Familial Latin (Lingua Latina Domestica) and Celebrational Latin (Lingua Latina Festiva). It’s all here, whether you’re a student of the language or just want to talk like one. From cocktail-party banter to climbing the corporate ladder to online dating, Latin for All Occasions features dozens of handy sections, including Las Vegas Latin, Latin for Golfers, Latin for Breakups, Latin for the Politically Correct, and much, much more. In one easy-to-use volume, National Lampoon founder Henry Beard presents hundreds of listings rendered in grammatically accurate classical Latin, with a foolproof pronunciation guide. Who says Latin is a dead language? From the comic genius who brought us X-Treme Latin comes Latin for All Occasions, guaranteed to help readers delight their friends, insult their enemies, and elevate the public discourse.

Spinglish
Spinglish

Author: Henry Beard

Publisher: Blue Rider Press

Published: 2016-06-14

Total Pages: 368

ISBN-13: 9780399575921

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Spinglish--the devious dialect of English used by professional spin doctors--is all around us. And the fact is, until you've mastered it, politicians and corporations (not to mention your colleagues and friends) will continue putting things over on you, and generally getting the better of you, every minute of every day--without your even knowing it. However, once you perfect the art of terminological inexactitude, you'll be the one manipulating and one-upping everyone else! And here's the beauty part: Henry Beard and Christopher Cerf, authors of the New York Times semi-bestseller The Official Politically Correct Dictionary and Handbook, have compiled this handy yet astonishingly comprehensive lexicon and translation guide--a fictionary, if you will--to help you do just that. If you want to succeed in business (or politics, sports, the arts, or life in general) without really lying, this is the book for you! (Your results may vary.) Spinglish includes these nifty bits of spurious verbiage and over a thousand more: aesthetic procedure - face-lift dairy nutrients - cow manure enhanced interrogation techniques - torture "For your convenience." - "For our convenience." hands-on mentoring - sexual relations with a junior employee incomplete success - failure rightsizing - firing people zero-tasking - doing nothing With each and every entry sourced from some of the greatest real-life language benders in the world today, you're virtually guaranteed to have the perfectly chosen tried-and-untrue term right at the tip of your forked tongue. Wish you could nimbly sidestep a question without batting an eye? Not sure how to apologize while also . . . not apologizing? Spinglish has you covered. Simply consult this convenient, shoot-from-the-lip glossary, and before you know it, you'll be telling it like it isn't, it wasn't, and it couldn't ever have been.

Going to Hell in a Hen Basket
Going to Hell in a Hen Basket

Author: Robert Alden Rubin

Publisher: Macmillan

Published: 2015-08-04

Total Pages: 225

ISBN-13: 1250066271

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In this collection of classic malapropisms, author Robert Alden Rubin shares verbal and textual flubs collected from the deepest corners of the internet as well as esteemed publications, accompanied by his own illustrations.