From Act I: "I think you left these behind," I said, handing them to her. This happens all the time when women try to return bags they've used. Tampons, lipstick, coins, Tic Tacs, and condoms are the top treasures found. "Greasy" let out a sigh as if I were the problem. "I really don't see what the problem is here. It's none of your business what I keep in my handbag." It is when my commission is at stake! I'm not your Designer Handbag Rental Service! My name is not BagBorrowOrSteal.com! This is a place Freeman Hall, a twenty-year veteran "on the floor," knows well. While delivering side-splitting stories alongside brutally cynical commentary, Freeman recounts his most shocking experiences in Retail Hell. From the time he was attacked by a customer's four-year-old, who grabbed onto his leg like a poodle and wouldn't let go, to the day he found the fitting room walls covered in s**t, Freeman has seen and heard (smelled and felt) it all! Horrifying and hilarious, this behind-the-scenes look at what really goes on at the Big Fancy Stores is rollicking, ready-to-wear wisdom for readers everywhere.
Traditional retail is becoming increasingly volatile and challenged as a business model. Brick-and-mortar has shifted to online, while online is shifting into pop-up storefronts. Virtual stores in subway platforms and airports are offering new levels of convenience for harried commuters. High Street and Main Street are becoming the stuff of nostalgia. The Big Box is losing ground to new models that attract consumers through their most-trusted assistant—the smartphone. What’s next? What’s the future for you—a retailer—who is witnessing a tsunami of change and not knowing if this means grasping ahold of new opportunity or being swept away? The Retail Revival answers these questions by looking into the not-so-distant retail past and by looking forward into a future that will continue to redefine retail and its enormous effect on society and our economies. Massive demographic and economic shifts, as well as historic levels of technological and media disruption, are turning this once predictable industry—where “average” was king—into a sea of turbulent change, leaving consumer behavior permanently altered. Doug Stephens, internationally renowned consumer futurist, examines the key seismic shifts in the market that have even companies like Walmart and Procter & Gamble scrambling to cope, and explores the current and future trends that will completely change the way we shop. The Retail Revival provides no-nonsense clarity on the realities of a completely new retail marketplace— realities that are driving many industry executives to despair. But the future need not be dark. Stephens offers hope and guidance for any businesses eager to capitalize on these historic shifts and thrive. Entertaining and thought-provoking, The Retail Revival makes sense of a brave new era of consumer behavior in which everything we thought we knew about retail is being completely reimagined. Praise for The Retail Revival “It doesn’t matter what type of retail you do—if you sell something, somewhere, you need to read Doug Stephens’ The Retail Revival. Packed with powerful insights on the changing retail environment and what good retailers should be thinking about now, The Retail Revival is easy to read, well-organized and provides essential food for thought.” — Gregg Saretsky, President and CEO, WestJet “This book captures in sharp detail the deep and unprecedented changes driving new consumer behaviors and values. More importantly, it offers clear guidance to brands and retailers seeking to adapt and evolve to meet entirely new market imperatives for success.” —John Gerzema, Author of Spend Shift and The Athena Doctrine “The Retail Revival is a critical read for all marketing professionals who are trying to figure out what’s next in retail… Doug Stephens does a great job of explaining why retail has evolved the way it has, and the book serves as an important, trusted guide to where it’s headed next. ” —Joe Lampertius SVP, Shopper Marketing, Momentum Worldwide and Owner, La Spezia Flavor Market “Doug Stephens has proven his right to the moniker ‘Retail Prophet.’ With careful analysis and ample examples, the author makes a compelling case for retailers to adapt, change and consequently revive their connection with consumers. Stephens presents actionable recommendations with optimism and enthusiasm—just the spoonful of sugar we need to face the necessary changes ahead.” —Kit Yarrow, Ph.D., Consumer Psychologist; Professor, Golden Gate University; Co-Author, Gen BuY: How Tweens, Teens and Twenty-Somethings are Revolutionizing Retail “Doug Stephens doesn’t just tell you why retail is in the doldrums, he tells you why retail is a major signpost for the larger troubles of our culture and provides a compelling, inspiring vision for a future of retail—and business, and society.” —Eric Garland, author of Future Inc.: How Businesses Can Anticipate and Profit from What’s Next
There is no wrath like a Hellspawn scorned . . . They scream. They cry. And they’re worse then just miniature versions of their entitled, rude, and too-often crazy parents. They’re Hellspawn. These child terrors didn’t get their name for being cute. They have ransacked stores, turned on their parents, and tried to get employees fired. And the retail slaves that suffer their tantrums are tired of keeping quiet. In these 43 hilarious-and-true stories from RetailHellUnderground.com bloggers, little monsters like Pee Boy, Pony Girl, and the Little Ice Cream Devils give kids everywhere a bad name. But when Mouthy gets his smart-alecky due and the Screamer is offered an exorcism, you’ll find yourself rooting for the Underground heroes in no time!
These Discount Rats want more than sales To Discount Rats, the world should be free . . . and retail slaves are to blame when it isn’t. These crazy customers show up with purses full of coupons and intend to leave with enough swag to impress a thief. They’ll negotiate, scream, complain, and threaten - so long as the sale is in sight! These 33 hilarious-and-true stories of penny-pinchers and stingy shoppers are straight from the bloggers of RetailHellUnderground - and boy do they have some history with these misers! From the Meal Voucher Rat who needs an amusement park escort to find the right restaurant to the Credit Rat who gets a black mark in the customer database, these denied bargain hunters will have you in stitches!
Backstabbers and Slackers and Mismanagers, Oh My! On the battlefields of retail hell, sometimes your “allies” turn out to be your worst enemies . . . When managers can’t run their stores and when coworkers refuse to actually work, shifts in retail go from bad to hellish and fast. There’s no one to turn to when the customers get mean, and there’s no one in to play defense when patrons complain. In these 28 hilarious-but-true stories, RetailHellUnderground.com bloggers pick their bones with the worst coworkers in memory - from lunch-stealing liars to power-hungry managers to snide corporate reps and more! It’s time these retail slaves - and even the customers - gave them what they really deserve!
Greedy Grabbers, Privileged Pinchers, Shady Scammers, and More! Whether they’re swiping merchandise or conning cashiers, Nasty Ass Thieves (NATs) can be retail’s worst nightmare. Do they honestly think they can return merchandise they didn’t buy? Or muscle their way out of a private chat with Loss Prevention? Or short-change drawers every time they shop? Apparently they do - or there wouldn’t be these 36 hilarious-and-true stories from RetailHellUnderground.com bloggers about NAT run-ins of every shape and size. From food scammers to hulking shoplifters to the unthinkable tale of “Paint and Poo,” these stories will make you look - and laugh - a little harder at your fellow customer.
Technology is so ubiquitous and such an integral part of our lives and our culture that we take it for granted. Indeed, technological advancement is bringing wonderful enhancements to our lives in the form of productivity, ease, comfort, convenience, and fun. But technology is always changing. So where will we be in ten years? Will technology result in a utopian society, or will the picture be much bleaker and darker? Here is the ugly truth: this rapid, exponential growth of IT will soon bring massive, even cataclysmic, social disruption and upheaval. In many fields of employment, IT is taking humans out of the equation and making us obsolete. Entire job classifications and industries will soon disappear. Will yours be one of them? To make matters worse, many “fall back jobs” that people currently rely on to help them get through the tough times caused by layoffs will soon be gone. Think about this impending future development: What will millions of people do when they cannot find a job of any kind, at any amount of pay? Where will they turn? How will they respond? And what will be the effect on society overall? The vast majority of people are unaware of what will soon happen. According to IT Revolution, we, as a society, are like the passengers on the Titanic, coasting along comfortably and complacently, blissfully ignorant of the disaster that looms before us. We are taking a “head in the sand” approach to the future, believing that disasters will happen to “somebody else” or that “the government will take care of me”. But disaster will soon happen to many of us, maybe even all of us, and the government won’t be able to help us. So we must prepare to be able to respond to the future, and we must start preparing now. This is a book that will trouble you. It will antagonize you. It will scare you. But it will also give you hope. As you read IT Revolution, you will discover • How and why the $15 per-hour minimum wage movement will backfire on those demanding that it be implemented • The serious downside of modern-day white collar life • Why technology is rapidly morphing from our Servant to our Master • That technology is not just affecting the white collar world; many blue collar and service jobs are at risk of disappearing • How “Supervisoritis” is harming quality of life for millions of people in the industrialized world and costing western economies billions of dollars annually • How “higher education” is leaving many graduates woefully unprepared for the “real world” • How a major failure of the education system is leading to the removal of millions of people from the workforce and the rapid takeover of industries by IT • A question company leaders need to answer in order to start moving down the road to progress and financial success • What specific steps you can start taking now to shield yourself and your family form the coming disaster Tough times lie ahead for all of us. But it’s not too late for you to take action. It’s not too late to prepare. But we as individuals, family members, leaders of companies, and society as a whole, must act now. Why not let this riveting, fascinating book serve as a practical roadmap?
Bigger, Fancier, and more cutthorat than ever! When Freeman Hall left The Big Fancy to pursue his screenwriting dreams, he thought the horrors of working in a handbag department were finally over. But instead of fame and fortune, he found himself stuck behind a wall of script-killing rewrites, unable to make a living. In Return to the Big Fancy, Freeman shares his wildly entertaining journey back through the fiery gates of Retail Hell. He thought he had seen it all in his day, but with the bar set higher than ever before, employees are now graciously bowing before Corporate as they climb over fellow salespeople, and even friends, to earn enough transactions and commissions to actually survive. As he learns more of the wretchedness that has befallen the sales floor, he realizes that The Big Fancy has its customers and its employees on a short leash. But leave it to Freeman and the threat of disappearing commissions to rally the retail slaves and show Corporate who's really in charge!
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