After changing from lame to super-attractive over school break, vampire Nigel acquires a girlfriend, Chloe, and starts the new term as one of the most popular students at school, but then a new student sets his sights on Chloe and Nigel must compete for her affections.
Nigel Mullet isn't your typical teenager . . . he's a vampire. But unfortunately, when Nigel transformed he didn't become all broody and interesting, and as for super strength and speed . . . well, forget it! Instead he's got acne, a voice that squeaks, a tendency to break out in a rash (not sparkles!) when exposed to the sun, and absolutely no idea how to talk to girls. When a beautiful new girl moves into the neighborhood, Nigel is determined to win her heart but first he's got to figure out how. In the meantime, he writes about her in his diary and composes really bad love poetry that he will recite to her one day, if he can work up the courage to tell her the truth. Can Nigel win the girl and the respect of his family--or is he destined to be a totally lame vampire forever?
With his newfound vampire powers and his girlfriend Chloe, Nigel Mullet is finally happy and popular as the school year begins. But then a new guy, Jason, appears at school. All the girls think he’s better looking than Nigel. He’s definitely stronger and faster than Nigel. And he’s just stolen Nigel’s girlfriend. What’s a totally lame vampire to do? Write bad poetry, get regularly beaten up by his little sister now that he's too weak to retaliate, and spy on his ex-girlfriend’s new boyfriend. . . . Eventually Nigel follows Jason and his family to the park in the middle of the night and is stunned to see them all transform into werewolves. Will the truth win Chloe back? Or will Nigel be left howling at the moon in frustration?
Tired of running the vampire coven, Nigel Mullet surrenders the leadership to newcomer Viktor in exchange for some small favors, but soon Viktor proves to be evil, even by vampire standards, and Nigel must step in.
These hilarious fictional diaries put us inside the heads of hapless figures from history. Meet Roderick – a scrawny, unremarkable teenager keeping a diary of his life in the Middle Ages. When he’s chosen to become a knight on a quest to find a holy relic (the fingers of St Stephen), Roderick is determined to prove his honour and graduate from zero to hero. ‘Get Real’ fact boxes feature throughout, providing historical context and further information, as well as a timeline, historical biographies and a glossary in the end matter.