And Oberlin offer a clear definition of passive-aggression and show readers not only how to end the behavior, but also how to avoid falling victim to other people's hidden anger.
In Overcoming Passive-Aggression, Dr. Tim Murphy and Loriann Hoff Oberlin provide an in-depth look at a topic we've all faced but haven't always recognized: Hidden anger. When people don't express their views and feel compelled to conceal their true beliefs and emotions, behaving in ways that don't match what they honestly think, there can be serious physical and psychological results for everyone involved. For the first time, Murphy and Oberlin offer a clear definition of passive-aggression and show readers not only how to end the behavior, but also how to avoid falling victim to other people's hidden anger. In clear, compassionate language, they cover everything from the childhood origins of the condition to the devastating effect it has on work and personal relationships to the latest research on the subject, and offer practical, proven strategies for the angry person as well as the individual who finds himself the target of someone else's passive-aggression.
With more than 100,000 copies in print, Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man draws on case histories from clinical psychologist Scott Wetzler’s practice to help you identify the destructive behavior, the root causes and motivations, and solutions. Do you know one of these men? The catch-me-if-you-can lover... Phil’s romantic and passionate one minute, distant and cold the next. The deviously manipulative coworker or boss... Jack denies resenting Nora’s rapid rise in the company, but when they’re assigned to work together on a project, he undermines her. The obstructionist, procrastinating husband... Bob keeps telling his wife he’ll finish the painting job he began years ago, but he never seems to get around to it. These are all classic examples of the passive-aggressive man. This personality syndrome—in which hostility wears a mask of passivity—is currently the number one source of men’s problems in relationships and on the job. In Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man, Scott Wetzler draws upon numerous case histories from his own practice to explain how and why the passive-aggressive man thinks, feels, and acts the way he does. Dr. Wetzler also offers advice on: • How to avoid playing victim, manager, or rescuer to the “P-A” • How to get his anger and fear into the open • How to help the “P-A” become a better lover, husband, and father • How to survive passive-aggressive game playing on the job Living with a man’s passive aggression can be an emotional seesaw ride. But armed with this book, you can avoid the bumpy landings.
Guidance for dealing with this common and frustrating form of behavior. Many people often say “yes” to something when they’d rather say “no.” They offer cooperation through words but follow up with how they really feel—in actions that contradict their words. That’s passive-aggression. At its heart, passive-aggression is about being untrue to oneself, which makes it impossible to have a clean relationship with others. Passive-aggression as a communication method doesn’t make someone “bad.” It is simply a strategy learned in childhood as a coping mechanism, a hard-to-break habit. Changing passive-aggressive behavior requires knowledge, tools, and practice, as outlined here. The book offers effective methods for transforming passive-aggression into healthy assertiveness to communicate in constructive ways through eight keys: Recognize Your Hidden Anger; Reconnect Your Emotions to Your Thoughts; Listen to Your Body; Set Healthy Boundaries; Communicate Assertively; Interact Using Mindfulness; Disable the Enabler; and Problem-Solve for Better Outcomes. Hands-on exercises are featured, enabling readers to better understand themselves.
And Oberlin offer a clear definition of passive-aggression and show readers not only how to end the behavior, but also how to avoid falling victim to other people's hidden anger.
Stand up and be heard! With more than 100,000 copies sold, this fully revised and updated self-help classic by psychologist Randy J. Paterson—author of How to Be Miserable—will help you get started today. Do you feel uncomfortable in situations where you disagree with others? Do you struggle to express your opinions or assert your boundaries? If you’ve ever felt paralyzed by confrontation, or have bitten your tongue rather than offer an opposing point of view, you know that a lack of assertiveness can leave you feeling marginalized and powerless. Assertiveness is a critical skill that not only influences your professional success, but also your personal happiness! So, how can you make sure your voice is heard? The Assertiveness Workbook contains powerfully effective skills grounded in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to help you communicate more effectively, improve social interactions, and express yourself with confidence and clarity. You’ll learn how to set and maintain personal boundaries while staying connected, and discover ways to be more genuine and open in your relationships. Finally, you’ll learn to defend yourself calmly if you’re unfairly criticized or asked to submit to unreasonable requests. Fully revised and updated—this new edition includes information on the impact of social media, mini-dialogs to help you navigate tricky social interactions, and skills to shift your behaviors to be more assertive—so you can improve your communication skills, and your life!
With absorbing detail and deftness, Kantor gives clinical descriptions of the dynamics in this overlooked syndrome: Passive-Aggressive Personality Disorder. It is a syndrome rooted in poorly suppressed, thinly disguised, and indirectly unleashed anger. This volume presents a scientifically based approach to the patient that will help him or her deal with anger in a healthier, and sometimes life-saving, way. An eclectic approach--including psychodynamic, cognitive-behavioral, and interpersonal techniques--is used to answer the two most important questions of passive-aggression: Why is the passive-aggressive so angry? And why cannot he or she express the anger more directly? Therapists can also use this approach to help the victims of passive-aggression and minimize the suffering that occurs in relationships with these difficult people.
Children often struggle to cope with anger, and angry feelings can boil over into aggression and destructive behaviour. This resource takes a different approach to anger, teaching children how to be angry effectively, rather than telling them not to be angry at all. This group program provides step-by-step guidelines for building anger management and assertive emotional expression skills through tailored lessons, group activities and thought-provoking discussions. Participants will learn specific skills such as: · Using I-Statements · Standing Up to Bullies · Disagreeing without Arguing · Making and Refusing Requests · Responding to Anger · Finding Win—Win Solutions Suitable for use with children and teenagers aged 5 - 18, this engaging resource will help children to overcome self-destructive patterns of passive, aggressive, and passive aggressive behaviour. It will be of great use to educators, counselors, social workers, youth care professionals, psychologists and parents.
Break Free From Over-Functioning, Over-Delivering, People-Pleasing, and Ignoring Your Own Needs So You Can Finally Live the Life You Deserve! Most of us were never taught how to effectively express our preferences, desires or deal-breakers. Instead, we hide our feelings behind passive-aggressive behavior, deny our own truths, or push our emotions down until we get depressed or so frustrated that we explode, potentially destroying hard-won trust and relationships. The most successful and satisfied people on the planet have one thing in common: the ability to create and communicate clear, healthy boundaries. This ability is, hands down, the biggest game changer when it comes to creating a healthy, happy, self-determined life. In Boundary Boss, psychotherapist Terri Cole reveals a specific set of skills that can help you stop abandoning yourself for the sake of others (without guilt or drama) and get empowered to consciously take control of every aspect of your emotional, spiritual, physical, personal, and professional life. Since becoming a Boundary Boss is a process, Cole also offers actionable strategies, scripts, and techniques that can be used in the moment, whenever you need them. You will learn: • How to recognize when your boundaries have been violated and what to do next • How your unique “Boundary Blueprint” is unconsciously driving your boundary behaviors, and strategies to redesign it • Powerful boundary scripts so in the moment you will know what to say • How to manage “Boundary Destroyers”—including emotional manipulators, narcissists, and other toxic personalities • Where you fall on the spectrum of codependency and how to create healthy, balanced relationships This book is for women who are exhausted from over-giving, overdoing, and even over-feeling. If you’re getting it all done but at the expense of yourself, give yourself the gift of Boundary Boss.