They say that when you get married, you don't just marry your spouse, but you marry the entire family. Some of us are lucky enough to marry into a loving supportive family who knows to keep their noses out of husband-wife issues. But for others of us, our relationship with the in-laws is a constant power struggle with skirmishes left and right and regular doses of "my way" versus "your way" disagreements. If your mother-in-law seems to take issue with every little thing you do or has to give her input on every little thing happening in your marriage, it can take a toll on your relationship with your spouse - and your sanity. While you don't want to face off with her directly, you also don't want to ignore her either. And although you could try to avoid her and limit your interactions, she is still the woman who bore and raised your partner, so you owe her a certain amount of respect and inclusion in your family. So that leaves you feeling stuck. What can you do? That's exactly what I'm going to help you with. Respecting your mother-in-law doesn't mean you have to let her dictate how to run your own family, nor does it mean you have to constantly put up with the (sometimes hurtful and often repetitive) "advice" she generously offers. I'm going to show you how to proactively and effectively relate to your mother-in-law in a loving and respectful manner while firmly maintaining your autonomy over your family and married life. Let's get started!
In today's world, women are often rewarded for having type A personalities. Driven, demanding women achieve higher positions, better salaries, and praise for their ambition. They learn to be confident, take-charge leaders who can handle anything on their own. Yet when it comes to their marriages, those same traits can backfire. After all, no one goes into marriage hoping for a promotion. What is a wife to do? April Cassidy knows this struggle firsthand. She thought she was a great Christian wife and begged God to make her passive husband into a more loving, involved, godly leader. Instead, God opened her eyes to changes that she needed to make, such as laying down her desire for control and offering genuine, unconditional respect--not just love--to her husband. The Peaceful Wife focuses on Cassidy's experience and its life-changing properties, providing a template for others to follow. Cassidy's conclusions may be as shocking to readers as they were to her, but she backs up her own tale with stories from her blog readers, and also includes recommendations for further study. She walks through baby steps on how to change, addressing questions such as: -What is respect? -How can you show respect? -How is being respectful different from being loving? In the end, The Peaceful Wife is a powerful path to God's design for women to live in full submission to Christ as Lord.
The caricatures are everywhere, the jokes are inexhaustible, and the stereotypes fill the screens. From Marie Barone (Everyone Loves Raymond) to Viola Fields (Monster-in-Law) to Internet sites and social media pages like ihatemyinlaws.com and a Facebook page for ihatemymotherinlaw there is no shortage of examples of the caustic relationships that can develop between the two women in a man’s life. Deb DeArmond and her three daughters-in-law have conducted their own exhaustive research into the status of the women-in-law relationship. Their research, which incorporated online surveys, interviews, and discussions, included asking about the faith factor in the relationships they studied. Of the respondents, nearly 90 percent claimed they were Christians, and 79 percent said their faith was foundational and guided their actions and decisions. As discouraging as it may be, the numbers of those they surveyed who reported that their women-in-law relationships were “bad” were nearly identical to those in a survey conducted by a popular secular website that recorded no statistics on faith. Beyond the statistics and their analysis, Deb brings to this book more than thirty years working with adults to improve communications and deal constructively with conflict. Aside from her research and her professional expertise, perhaps the most important asset Deb brings to this work is her own relationship with her three daughters-in-law that is so obviously and unusually positive that she—and they—are often asked to explain the secret of the relationships they share. This practical and unapologetically scriptural book covers issues of personal perceptions, strained communication, the roles of sons and fathers in the relationship’s success, how to begin these relationships on the right foot, and the necessity of trust and love. Deb’s one motivating objective is to help womenin- law move from women who are simply related to strong and confident members of a truly spiritual family.
Do you and your partner argue about the same things over and over again? Are you often confused about why your partner is so angry with you? Are things getting worse and worse even though you’ve tried everything you can think of to make them better? In this breakthrough guide to repairing romantic relationships, therapist and marriage researcher Dr. Stephen Betchen presents a powerful new explanation of what leads to this kind of escalating conflict in couples and how you can repair your relationship and find a whole new level of happiness. Based on his extensive experience as a couples’ therapist, Dr. Betchen has discovered that the prevailing idea that opposites attract is wrong. Instead, one of the strongest forces that attracts people to one another is that they share a hidden, inner conflict in their lives—an unconscious struggle within themselves that each of them developed growing up—which he calls a "master conflict." The fact that a couple shares a master conflict acts as an almost magnetic force of attraction, but, over time, master conflicts often begin to push a pair apart—many of the very things you most appreciated about each other start to grate on you, producing increasing hostility. The good news is that by identifying the master conflict that you share, you and your partner can take the steps to break the cycle of fighting and come to a new place of understanding and happiness in your relationship. Often, just the realization that you have this hidden conflict acts as a powerful cure, allowing you to appreciate each other once again and to be empathetic about the things that have been irritating you both. From his years of work with couples, Betchen has identified the nineteen most common master conflicts—such as getting your needs met vs. caretaking; giving vs. withholding; commitment vs. freedom; power vs. passivity—and for each he provides vivid stories of couples who have struggled with them, as well as simple tests that help you to: • Identify the core master conflict that is causing your relationship problems • Understand the origins of your conflict and how it drew you to your partner • Diagnose how the conflict is now pushing you apart • Come to new terms with the conflict to save your relationship As Dr. Betchen writes, knowledge of a master conflict is power, and Magnetic Partners is an empowering guide that will help you not only to identify and control your master conflict, but also to bring your relationship to a new level based on deeper understanding, ultimately leading to greater fulfillment and long-term resilience. Partners
In every marriage, there is conflict. And with every conflict, there is a choice for resolution. Will you ignore the issue until it seemingly goes away? Or will you work together to find peace? In Don’t Go to Bed Angry, Deb and Ron DeArmond give you permission to fight. Conflict isn’t the problem, after all; the real issue is how we deal with the conflict. Deb and Ron demonstrate how communication through conflict can safeguard—and even strengthen—your relationship. Immensely practical features including worksheets and discussion questions make this a definitive go-to resource to help you start fighting—together—for your marriage. PRAISE FOR DON'T GO TO BED ANGRY: “Don’t Go to Bed Angry. Stay Up and Fight!” packs a one-two punch into the gut of all marital conflict no matter the source. The book is both transparent and practical, offering couples a variety of proven tools to develop marital muscles to knock out every opponent, and arise as Christ-like champions. An incredible resource!”—Clint and Penny A. Bragg, Authors of Marriage on the Mend—Healing Your Relationship After Crisis, Separation, or Divorce and founders, Inverse Ministries “In Don’t Go To Bed Angry. Stay Up and Fight, Deb and Ron DeArmond deliver a biblically-based book on the topic of marital conflict. Practical exercises will help the reader move away from the potential damage conflict can bring to the discovery that comes from learning to stand together as allies not enemies—even when you don’t see eye-to-eye. We highly recommend this book as a creative guide for any couple, at any stage of life to find alignment with one another—and God—in their marriage.”—Claudia & David Arp, Co-authors, 10 Great Dates to Energize Your Marriage and founders of Marriage Alive International. "Don’t Go to Bed Angry has a solid Biblical foundation and is full of wise counsel and great practical tools. Deb and Ron are open and honest as they share from their experiences and those of others. I have been counseling couples for over thirty years, and this great, new title goes immediately to the top of my list of books on how to deal with conflict in marriage and grow your marriage God’s way." —Kim Kimberling, PhD, author of Seven Secrets to an Awesome Marriage and the leader of the Awesome Marriage Movement. “When my sons were teenagers, they often argued. Finally one day, I sat them on our couch and said, "I'm going to teach you how to fight." They were shocked. They thought they were experts. I gave a couple of steps to keep their arguments respectful and to help them own their own feelings. In their book, the DeArmonds have set us all down on their own couch and given us the principles to do right what we probably all do, and do wrong. These principles work! The sooner you start, the sooner you reap the benefits.” —Joann Cole Webster, Vice President, Christian Men's Network “In our work with couples in crisis for twenty years we have seen the value of having conflict resolution skills. "Fights"--loud and silent--can become long lasting wars with much devastation. In Don’t Go To Bed Angry, Deb and Ron give us a pattern to develop essential skills to resolve inevitable marital conflict. Read this book and let God guide the application to your marriage. Then you can begin the "fight for" your marriage. It's so worth it!”—Mona Shriver, author of Unfaithful and co-founder of Hope & Healing Ministries. Praise for author Deb DeArmond and her previous book, I Choose You Today: 31 Choices to Make Love Last "It's often been said that our choices define us. That's true personally, but it's also a key to our relationships. Deb DeArmond has provided a practical and insightful book detailing 31 choices we can make as husbands and wives that have the potential to transform even a good marriage—and make it a great one." —Greg Smalley, Vice President of Family Ministry, Focus on the Family
OVER ONE MILLION COPIES SOLD! With this updated edition of their award-winning book, Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott help you launch lifelong love like never before. This is more than a book--it's an experience, especially when you use the his/her workbooks filled with more than 40 fun exercises. Get ready for deeper intimacy with the best friend you'll ever have. Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts, which has been translated into more than 15 languages, is the most widely used marriage prep tool in the world. Why? Because it will help you . . . Uncover the misbeliefs of marriage Learn to communicate with instant understanding Discover the secret to resolving conflict Master the skills of money management Get your sex life off to a great start A compelling video, featuring real-life couples, is available, and with this updated edition, Les and Leslie unveil the game-changing SYMBIS Assessment. Now you can discover how to leverage your personalities for a love that lasts a lifetime. Make your marriage everything it is meant to be. Save your marriage--before (and after) it starts.
When a Woman Is in an Emotional Tug-of-War for Her Man's Heart Why can't he commit? Many women find themselves asking this question when in love with a man who won't get married, won't stop womanizing, or refuses to give up his sex addictions. Often this kind of man is bound by an unhealthy attachment to his mother. This phenomenon is called "mother-son enmeshment." In When He's Married to Mom, clinical psychologist and renowned intimacy expert Dr. Kenneth M. Adams goes beyond the stereotypes of momma's boys and meddling mothers to explain how mother-son enmeshment affects everyone: the mother, the son, and the woman who loves him. In his twenty-five years of practice, Dr. Adams has successfully treated hundreds of enmeshed men and shares their stories in this informative guide. He provides proven methods to make things better, including: -- Guidelines to help women create fulfilling relationships with mother-enmeshed men -- Tools to help mother-enmeshed men have healthy and successful dating experiences leading to serious relationships and marriage -- Strategies to help parents avoid enmeshing their children When He's Married to Mom provides practical and compassionate advice to the women who are involved with mother-enmeshed men, to the mothers who wish to set them free, and to the men themselves.
This hands-on manual makes it possible to reclaim the husband-wife relationship while surviving--and even improving--the frequently tumultuous relationship with a mother-in-law.
Toxic in-laws are family members who create genuine chaos through various assaults -- aggressive or subtle -- on you and your marriage, and they can be recognized in a wide variety of guises: "The Critics," who seldom miss a chance to tell you what you're doing wrong; "The Controllers," who try to run you and your partner's life; "The Engulfers," who make incessant demands on your time; "The Masters of Chaos," who drain you and your partner with their problems, expecting you to be their rescuers, and "The Rejecters," who wound you deeply by letting you know they don't want you as part of their family. And the longer that conflicts with these in-laws remain unresolved and not dealt with effectively, the more damaging these conflicts and people will become. How to recognize and stop these destructive patterns Now, from bestselling author Susan Forward, comes a remarkable self-help guide that is both practical and powerful. She draws on real-life voices and stories of women and men struggling to free themselves from the frustrating, hurtful, and infuriating relationships with their toxic in-laws. What makes in-law problems uniquely difficult is that they are part of a triangle -- you, your in-laws, and the person you married. One dynamic of these destructive relationships is that you often feel as if you are in the middle of a powerful tug-of-war for your partner's loyalty. And the hurt from your partner's lack of support is often more painful that anything your in-laws do. Forward shows you clearly how your in-laws manipulate your partner. This new clarity will help you feel less bitterness and far more empathy toward him or her so that you can begin the vital process of protecting your marriage. Strategies that work First, Forward offers you highly effective communication and behavioral techniques for getting through to partners who won't or can't stand up to their parents. Her unique methods allow you to defuse the anger and feelings of betrayal that flare up when a partner won't defend you. Next, she lays out accessible and practical ways to reclaim your marriage from your in-laws. She shows you what to say, what to do, and what limits to set. If you follow these strategies, you may not turn toxic in-laws into the in-laws of your dreams, but you will find some peace in your relationship with them. Most important, you will reclaim your dignity and self-respect, and reconnect more strongly than ever with the one you love.
Why are we attracted to some people and not to others? Are first impressions accurate? Why do some romantic relationships succeed while others fail? Are our romantic choices influenced by evolution? In tackling questions like these, The Social Psychology of Attraction and Romantic Relationships reviews the theory and research behind this fascinating area. It combines real-life anecdotes and popular media examples with the latest psychological studies, making it a lively and engaging read. Ideal for students of social psychology and intimate relationships courses, this is a comprehensive introduction to an everyday subject that, on closer investigation, proves to be a dynamic, intriguing, and sometimes surprising area.
