This newest title in the wildly popular Spotter's Guide series leads readers through the distinct field marks of flatulence in the latter years of life, from "The Crank" (the fart that chases pesky kids—and everyone else—off the lawn) through "The ReAnimator" (the sudden eruption of post-holiday meal flatulence that brings Great Aunt Gladys back from the brink). Each spread is devoted to a singular fart profile and includes helpful information such as age of onset, key characteristics for identification, and prominent subtypes. Detailed "in situ" illustrations and ten distinct push-button sounds complete this indispensable reference to farting happily and healthfully into the autumn years of life.
Legendary New Yorker cartoonist Lee Lorenz showcases his well-seasoned, fan-favorite characters in this one-of-a-kind collection titled Old Farts Are Forever. Lee's colorful old farts have been featured in boardrooms and bedrooms from snowy New England to balmy Boca Raton. They are the disappearing breed of ruthless senior industrialists and a growing legion of hapless victims of modern technology. His old farts face daunting doctors, pets that tyrannize their homes, and spouses who'd rather push them out of a moving car than share the last piece of coffee cake. C'est la vie, for an old fart. Welcome to Lee Lorenz's world. Old Farts Are Forever is the fabled cartoonist's first collection. The millions of age-challenged Americans and the masses of New Yorker cartoon fiends who love Lee won't be disappointed. "I looked in the mirror one day and discovered that after so many years of drawing old farts, I had become one. Old Farts Are Forever is both a celebration of America's favorite minority and an apology to a public I now realize was right all along." --Lee Lorenz
A collection of visually diverse, humorous stories about old folks, told through their observations about daily life, musings about the past, and abstrast parables.
If you’re an Old Fart who needs to do something about your shape, or you’d like to help the Old Fart in your life shape up, this is the perfect book for you. If you’re engrossed by TV ads that claim that taking their pills will make your fat disappear or that strapping on and plugging in a device will shock your abs into shape, you’re an Old Fart. If you believe that by exercising your wallet you can look like that 20-something-year-old body builder in the ad, you’re an Old Fart. If money is no object, as long as getting into shape does not mean getting off the couch and actually exercising, then you are an Old Fart who needs to read this seriously funny book. It was after the death of yet another friend in his 50s due to heart failure, that actor/writer Tim Plewman and a group of his friends formed a ‘Fellowship of Old Farts’ to try to avoid a similar fate. Fitness for Old Farts is the outcome and proof that the programme they followed really does work. With humour and empathy, Tim provides practical and honest help to men over the age of 50 hoping to rediscover good health and a respectable physique, while still enjoying mealtimes. Using himself and his friends as role models on what can be achieved with the correct, progressive gym exercise programmes, as well as healthy food choices in the form of tasty and simple-to-prepare recipes, he goes right to the heart of the matter because he understands the problems, fears and motivations relevant to old farts. Tim Plewman’s Fitness for Old Farts will keep you in stitches.
Let us laugh in the face of decrepitude. Let us scream as gravity drags (and sags) us down. And let s pretend that the drooping jowls, saggy butt, and hairy ears are somebody else's problem. And while we re at it, let s poke a little fun at those folks, too. Old Farts, There Ought to Be a Law is the latest collection from fabled cartoonist Eric Decetis. He takes no prisoners as he mines the fears and anxieties of the senior set and laughs at their fumbles and foibles. Old Farts is perfect for the older folks in your life, and for anyone else who knows and loves them.
Survival tips written for (and by) "Old Farts" I decided to write down a bunch of timely woodlore tricks and preparedness advisement so they can be shared and remembered once more. Knowledge I have gained from a lifetime of prepping and preparing for disasters and how to live easier through hard times are explained within this book. I bet all of us aging seniors who are of the prepper mindset or of a survivalist bent, as well as many younger folks less knowledgeable, want to know about the same things we do regarding eating well and dying easier after a mega disaster. That is survival knowledge that we will need to know and rely on should the electrical grid ever go down and stay down. Considering just how unreliable all this newfangled technology can be and the fact that new threats are always appearing on the horizon, it is not a far stretch to say our dependency on technology is putting our very survival or daily existence in jeopardy. We need to try to get back to our old school mindsets now and learn more about the woods or country living that some of us may have forgotten about, or some of us never learned growing up to begin with. Whether or not you are just learning basic preparedness for the first time or remembering many an old camping trip or military deployment, there is plenty to learn here. The contents of this book will teach you long term survival and food procurement with and without, using anything but the cheapest gear best suited for the task. Even if you are on a strict fixed income and have a few minor physical disabilities' I have a plan for you and one that won't cost much at all to sustain you for a year or more. This book will teach you some awesome things like how to catch a fish with a twig, use nothing but a pencil sharpener to light a fire in wet woods and make a fish hook or animal trap, heat your house with the sun and a sewage line, open a can of food on the curb without a can opener, heat your house with a garbage bag, light a fire with a rain drop, defend yourself against a wild dog attack, spend a dollar on a tool that can feed you the rest of your life or spend a hundred dollars on a piece of gear that could feed you and your family for a year using common easy applicable food procurement skills in any suburban backyard or forested wood lot. You will learn the skills that some of us old timers who are still kicking around will use for surviving long term and would like to be taught to the next generation. Things that are good to know, like how to take a cardboard box, a baking bag, a piece of string and catch your own dinner, cook it and boil and purify water using those three items. This book will teach you more than a few things you might not know yet, but you should for old fart survival purposes! Let us try to outlive and out think them young heathens or at least hang around long enough to teach them a better way to survive themselves!
Fart is desperate to make friends and have fun. But no one likes a fart -- not even a fart with a heart. With plenty of laughs and even more heart, this delightful picture book shows that even the smelliest among us can find a friend in this world. It's hard out there for a fart. Too smelly. Too embarassing. Too gross. Striking the perfect balance of gross-out humor, wit, and heart, this beautifully illustrated picture book delivers a message of accepting yourself and finding a friend who loves you just the way you are.
DIVING HEADLONG INTO RIB TICKLING SITUATIONS, WITH HILARIOUS CONSEQUENCES. THIS BOOK WILL MAKE YOU LAUGH OUT LOUD!! Leading up to retirement, authoress Patti Trickett and her husband Chris bought a 2 berth motor home. Enjoying regular short breaks in the U.K; they eventually had an extended tour of Scotland to celebrate their retirement. Learning the necessary skills of touring, the experienced some hilarious situations! Returning home, they decided to do extensive planning, and drive their motor home through Central Europe to their villa in Crete! Come with them, as they drive over the Swiss Alps. Live their hippy life style, as they camp near the golden sands of the Adriatic. Beach comb for shells, and collect driftwood for the BBQ, then dance in the surf at midnight under a full moon. You are invited to take a romantic trip on a gondola in Venice, or do some sightseeing at the ancient Acropolis of Athens. The ultimate destination was to arrive at their villa in Crete, and visit the remote villages, high in the Psiloritis Mountains, where they make true and lasting friendships, and meet many colourful characters whilst out walking.
Coloring is fun, and it's educational too! There are endless possibilities when it comes to coloring - starting from the choice of colors, the combinations, and the patterns to make and so on. But coloring also has the educational benefits of boundaries, handwriting skills and motor skills. Improved focus, relaxation, patience and self-confidence are there, too!
"Old Macdonald heard a fart ... E-I-E-I-O!" There are some VERY rude noises coming from Old Macdonald's farm - who could be responsible?! Sing along to this side-splitting picture book adaptation of everyone's favourite nursery rhyme.
