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Night of the Avenging Blowfish

Author: John Welter

Publisher: Algonquin Books

Published: 2006-01-31

Total Pages: 299

ISBN-13: 1565128044

The hilarious tale of a Secret Service agent’s professional and romantic misadventures, by the author of Begin to Exit Here. At heart, Doyle Coldiron is just a lovesick guy who happens to have a submachine gun under his blue blazer. Working for the Secret Service, it’s his job to protect the president—but after a disgruntled White House chef decides to serve Spam at a state dinner, Doyle fails to throw himself in front of the wretched luncheon meat, and gets demoted. What’s really got Doyle down, though, is his unrequited passion for the president’s already-married secretary. To console himself, he plans covert games of “spookball” against the CIA, and drowns his sorrows at a Washington bar. However, his chance for redemption just may arise as he confronts a series of events involving terrorists, animal rights activists, a Stealth kite, and a tipsy ambassador who plays Cole Porter tunes . . . From John Welter—described by Joseph Heller, author of Catch-22, as “among the wittiest American novelists writing today”—this is a rollicking look at life, love, and lunacy behind the scenes in DC. “Welter retains firm control of the true story in his novel: one man’s search for love in the ’90s. Doyle’s quest for romantic and spiritual love is bittersweet, surprisingly poignant, and, guided by Welter’s sure hand, always emotionally true. Sometimes silly and frequently downright strange, this novel is full of insights into modern love that sneak up on the reader amid a lot of pleasantly off-kilter zaniness, making Night of the Avenging Blowfish a fun and satisfying read.” —Kirkus Reviews

I Want to Buy a Vowel

Author: John Welter

Publisher: Berkley

Published: 1997

Total Pages: 244

ISBN-13: 9780425160817

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Chosen by "Booklist" as One of the Best Books of 1996! Guatemalan immigrant Alfredo Santayana doesn't know much English, but he does understand the phrase "I want to buy a vowel"--an important incantation that leads to wondrous wealth in his new land, America. Unfortunately, Alfredo has a lot more to learn in this touching novel of the immigrant experience--a wonderfully entertaining satire that hits the jackpot.

Night of the Avenging Blowfish

Author: John Welter

Publisher: Algonquin Books

Published: 2006-01-31

Total Pages: 296

ISBN-13: 1565128044

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The hilarious tale of a Secret Service agent’s professional and romantic misadventures, by the author of Begin to Exit Here. At heart, Doyle Coldiron is just a lovesick guy who happens to have a submachine gun under his blue blazer. Working for the Secret Service, it’s his job to protect the president—but after a disgruntled White House chef decides to serve Spam at a state dinner, Doyle fails to throw himself in front of the wretched luncheon meat, and gets demoted. What’s really got Doyle down, though, is his unrequited passion for the president’s already-married secretary. To console himself, he plans covert games of “spookball” against the CIA, and drowns his sorrows at a Washington bar. However, his chance for redemption just may arise as he confronts a series of events involving terrorists, animal rights activists, a Stealth kite, and a tipsy ambassador who plays Cole Porter tunes . . . From John Welter—described by Joseph Heller, author of Catch-22, as “among the wittiest American novelists writing today”—this is a rollicking look at life, love, and lunacy behind the scenes in DC. “Welter retains firm control of the true story in his novel: one man’s search for love in the ’90s. Doyle’s quest for romantic and spiritual love is bittersweet, surprisingly poignant, and, guided by Welter’s sure hand, always emotionally true. Sometimes silly and frequently downright strange, this novel is full of insights into modern love that sneak up on the reader amid a lot of pleasantly off-kilter zaniness, making Night of the Avenging Blowfish a fun and satisfying read.” —Kirkus Reviews

Begin to Exit Here

Author: John Welter

Publisher: Algonquin Books

Published: 1992-04-30

Total Pages: 273

ISBN-13: 1616202351

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This “laugh-out-loud” novel looks at “the absurdity of journalism through the eyes of a (chronologically) grown-up Holden Caulfield” (Kirkus Reviews). In North Carolina, reporter Kurt Clausen delights both women and his editors with his sense of humor—that is, until they get tired of him and dump him. Beneath his wisecracking exterior, he’s really just a lonely alcoholic who can’t seem to stay employed. He loves newspapers—when he doesn’t hate them. But now he has a new girlfriend, Janice, and a new job, and he’s trying to give it his all. As he puts his unique stamp on stories ranging from a KKK march to a gay police chief to a possibly violent kindergarten teacher, Kurt may be about to turn things around—or he may be about to mess it all up again—in this novel filled with “hilariously on-target gibes at journalistic practice” that “admirably balances humor with serious feeling” (Kirkus Reviews). “A cast of sympathetic characters and nearly nonstop wisecracks and one-liners highlight this spirited and appealing first novel.” —Library Journal “Funny and touching.” —The New York Times Book Review

Dictionary of American Young Adult Fiction, 1997-2001

Author: Agnes Regan Perkins

Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing USA

Published: 2004-03-30

Total Pages: 584

ISBN-13: 0313061505

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Young adult readers have special needs and concerns, and librarians have become increasingly interested in selecting books suitable for them. This reference provides information about 290 books for young adults. These books received major awards between 1997 and 2001, reflect the voices of 242 different authors, and range from new to familiar themes. Included are nearly 750 alphabetically arranged entries for individual works, authors, characters, and settings. Many of these books were originally written for adults but have become popular among younger readers. Entries for works provide plot summaries and critical assessments, while author entries focus on those aspects of the writers' lives most relevant to literature for young people. The reference is a valuable selection tool for librarians and teachers and a useful guide for students.

Extinctions

Author: Josephine Wilson

Publisher: Serpent's Tail

Published: 2018-07-05

Total Pages: 328

ISBN-13: 1782834613

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Professor Frederick Lothian, retired engineer, world expert on concrete and connoisseur of modernist design, has quarantined himself from life by moving to a retirement village. Surrounded and obstructed by the debris of his life, he is determined to be miserable, but is tired of his existence and of the life he has chosen. When a series of unfortunate incidents forces him and his neighbour, Jan, together, he begins to realise the damage done by the accumulation of a lifetime's secrets and lies, and to comprehend his own shortcomings. Finally, Frederick Lothian has the opportunity to build something meaningful for the ones he loves. Humorous, poignant and galvanising, this is a novel about all kinds of extinction - natural, racial, national and personal - and what we can do to prevent them.

Letters from a Nut

Author: Ted L. Nancy

Publisher: HarperCollins

Published: 2020-10-13

Total Pages: 280

ISBN-13: 0063084821

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Who is Ted L. Nancy? He's a superstitious Vegas high-roller who wants to gamble at a casino in his lucky shrimp outfit... He's the genius inventor of "Six Day Underwear"... He's a stage actor who only travels while dressed as a stick of butter... He is, in reality, a twisted prankster—a supremely off-kilter alter ego who sends patently ridiculous letters to corporate honchos, entertainment conglomerates, national publications, politicians, celebrities and heads of state. His innocent requests, queries, complaints, demands, and suggestions are so absurd it is amazing they fool anyone—but often the deadpan responses he receives are even more hilarious: "Dear Mr. Nancy, It is not often that we receive such enthusiastic support for the paper bag." —The Paper Bag Council "On behalf of Greyhound, there should be no problem traveling while in your butter costume." —Greyhound Bus Lines "I look forward to working with you to create a better future for this great nation." —Vice President Al Gore Letters From A Nut is an insanely inspired, truly madcap collection of Nancy correspondence, a wet-yourself-in-a-public place funny aggregation of official—and officially certifiable—requests, complaints, fan mail and questions that could not possibly have been taken seriously...but, amazingly, were.

Buyology

Author: Martin Lindstrom

Publisher: Currency

Published: 2010-02-02

Total Pages: 274

ISBN-13: 0385523890

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NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • “A fascinating look at how consumers perceive logos, ads, commercials, brands, and products.”—Time How much do we know about why we buy? What truly influences our decisions in today’s message-cluttered world? In Buyology, Martin Lindstrom presents the astonishing findings from his groundbreaking three-year, seven-million-dollar neuromarketing study—a cutting-edge experiment that peered inside the brains of 2,000 volunteers from all around the world as they encountered various ads, logos, commercials, brands, and products. His startling results shatter much of what we have long believed about what captures our interest—and drives us to buy. Among the questions he explores: • Does sex actually sell? • Does subliminal advertising still surround us? • Can “cool” brands trigger our mating instincts? • Can our other senses—smell, touch, and sound—be aroused when we see a product? Buyology is a fascinating and shocking journey into the mind of today's consumer that will captivate anyone who's been seduced—or turned off—by marketers' relentless attempts to win our loyalty, our money, and our minds.