'I WANT A DOG!'Who hasn't heard that screamed from a child or partner? They want a dog but you don't want one because you know it will be your responsibility to look after it when they grow bored. Well, this book isn't necessarily for you. This book is for those who want a dog but have no idea what they're really letting themselves in for. You see, I wanted a dog. I was one of those annoying people ranting and raving how badly I wanted one. 'Now I am an adult, I should be allowed to get a dog! It's my house!'I got my dog. I got what I wanted. I even chose the dog. Now, as I sit here typing out this blurb, I weep. Why did I do this to myself? Why have I just committed to this little bastard for God knows how many years?If you want a dog of your own. Read this book. Perhaps see things you didn't necessarily think of (on top of having to clean up its shit from when you go on walks or when it runs in your garden). Then, when you have read the book, make your decision again. Decide if it really is for you.Don't want a dog? Well this is about a pug called Chewie... Read about Chewie's first year and just laugh at my misadventures and misery...From Matt Shaw, author of 'Wasting Stamps', 'Plentyoffreaks' and 'Im fine'
The extended cut of "My Pug is an Asshole" Four years after writing the first book, Matt Shaw decided to revisit his work and add more content which will warn you the dangers of owning such a breed. Read the book, learn about the breed in a fun, lighthearted manner and then - if you STILL want the dog afterwards - you'll be both prepared and know that a pug is the right dog for you. If you read the book and decide a pug isn't for you, Matt Shaw has saved you immense stress and also saved a dog from going to someone ill-prepared to look after it. Interesting fact since the release of the "My Pug is an Asshole" Some people took to social media when the book first came out. They judged the book by the cover and went on the attack, stating Matt Shaw should never have an animal. They entirely missed the point of the book. The book was written to highlight little known information about pugs (and other flat face breeds). It's not to poke fun of them, it's not to spread hate. It is to inform of all the issues you, as a new owner, might face IF you purchase such a dog. From the original blurb: 'I WANT A DOG!' Who hasn't heard that screamed from a child or partner? They want a dog but you don't want one because you know it will be your responsibility to look after it when they grow bored. Well, this book isn't necessarily for you. This book is for those who want a dog but have no idea what they're really letting themselves in for. You see, I wanted a dog. I was one of those annoying people ranting and raving how badly I wanted one. 'Now I am an adult, I should be allowed to get a dog! It's my house!' I got my dog. I got what I wanted. I even chose the dog. Now, as I sit here typing out this blurb, I weep. Why did I do this to myself? Why have I just committed to this little thing for God knows how many years? If you want a dog of your own. Read this book. Perhaps see things you didn't necessarily think of (on top of having to clean up its shit from when you go on walks or when it runs in your garden). Then, when you have read the book, make your decision again. Decide if it really is for you. Don't want a dog? Well this is about a pug called Chewie... Read about Chewie's first year and just laugh at my misadventures and misery... From Matt Shaw, author of 'Wasting Stamps', 'Plentyoffreaks' and 'Im fine' Reviews: "Spot on description of owning a dog" "So true on many, many levels" "Really funny insight on owning a dog" "Absolutely Adorable"
Matt Shaw is the published author of over 200 books. He also owns a pug and knows the many issues they face with regards to their health. No one told him about these issues though. They kept it to themselves! Here, you get two books for the price of one! Not only do you get "My Pug Is An Asshole" (what it is REALLY like owning a pug) but you also get "PUG: Crime Has A New Enemy..". Matt's concept story of what it would be like if there were a pug superhero!
The definitive guide to working with -- and surviving -- bullies, creeps, jerks, tyrants, tormentors, despots, backstabbers, egomaniacs, and all the other assholes who do their best to destroy you at work. "What an asshole!" How many times have you said that about someone at work? You're not alone! In this groundbreaking book, Stanford University professor Robert I. Sutton builds on his acclaimed Harvard Business Review article to show you the best ways to deal with assholes...and why they can be so destructive to your company. Practical, compassionate, and in places downright funny, this guide offers: Strategies on how to pinpoint and eliminate negative influences for good Illuminating case histories from major organizations A self-diagnostic test and a program to identify and keep your own "inner jerk" from coming out The No Asshole Rule is a New York Times, Wall Street Journal, USA Today and Business Week bestseller.
The War of 1812 was raging and his youth was the time of covered wagons and stagecoaches. George W. Strong became a local giant in the era of steamships and the railroad. His path took him through the dark days of the Civil War and the brighter times of the brith of the Industrial Revolution. His life as an icon in a small town in the Midwest was all but forgotten as he passed into obscurity at the age of 92.
#1 New York Times Bestseller “Funny and smart as hell” (Bill Gates), Allie Brosh’s Hyperbole and a Half showcases her unique voice, leaping wit, and her ability to capture complex emotions with deceptively simple illustrations. FROM THE PUBLISHER: Every time Allie Brosh posts something new on her hugely popular blog Hyperbole and a Half the internet rejoices. This full-color, beautifully illustrated edition features more than fifty percent new content, with ten never-before-seen essays and one wholly revised and expanded piece as well as classics from the website like, “The God of Cake,” “Dogs Don’t Understand Basic Concepts Like Moving,” and her astonishing, “Adventures in Depression,” and “Depression Part Two,” which have been hailed as some of the most insightful meditations on the disease ever written. Brosh’s debut marks the launch of a major new American humorist who will surely make even the biggest scrooge or snob laugh. We dare you not to. FROM THE AUTHOR: This is a book I wrote. Because I wrote it, I had to figure out what to put on the back cover to explain what it is. I tried to write a long, third-person summary that would imply how great the book is and also sound vaguely authoritative—like maybe someone who isn’t me wrote it—but I soon discovered that I’m not sneaky enough to pull it off convincingly. So I decided to just make a list of things that are in the book: Pictures Words Stories about things that happened to me Stories about things that happened to other people because of me Eight billion dollars* Stories about dogs The secret to eternal happiness* *These are lies. Perhaps I have underestimated my sneakiness!
"A hilariously irreverent take on the modern memoir....you'll never look at memoirs the same way again." -Boston Globe "A heartbreaking and hilarious memoir, Dr. Brandon Day takes us on his lifelong odyssey of hellish introspection and painstaking self-discovery. He chronicles his battles with homelessness, addiction, bosses, teachers, cable companies, neighbors, his children, and his ex-wife to answer the existential question that burns inside all of us, "Am I the Asshole?" -NEW YORK TIMES Brandon Day grew up in an abusive home. All through his childhood, his sadistic and overbearing parents tortured him by forcing him to perform all sorts of unthinkable acts such as brushing his teeth and doing his homework, and by the time he was ten years old he had already become addicted to Nintendo. He would spend hours upon hours in his bedroom playing games such as Mike Tyson's Punchout and The Legend of Zelda as a means to escape the suffering he endured at the hands of his cruel and merciless parents. Without any real skills, talent or drive, Dr. Brandon Day knew that if he wanted to become rich and famous that he would have to tell his story. He would have to write a really self-righteous memoir where he plays the victim and shits all over his friends and family, complains about how hard his life is, and then brags about how he overcame it all. That would be his only way out of the insufferable torture of having hardly any followers on social media. But upward mobility required crafting the perfect resilience narrative. He had to prove to himself and the rest of the world that he was not just lazy, and he was an "overcomer," made stronger by all the bullshit he had endured at the hands of not only his parents, but other family members, friends, co-workers, teachers, wives, ex-wives, bosses, neighbors, and even his own children. However, the truth was more complicated. After he graduated from college, Dr. Brandon's mom and dad kept breaking his balls about smoking too much pot and finding a fucking job already. If only it were that easy. Eventually his parents would kick him out of their house and even force him to pay for his own car insurance when he was just a young, scared, 26-years-old little boy. Dr. Brandon learns to confront his own past filled with many secrets: a marijuana stash he hid in his sock drawer all through high school, phone calls from debt collectors who use strange numbers to try to trick him into picking up, dozens of lost car keys and wallets he never found, and sometimes even peeing in the kitchen sink when he is drunk. All of which led to the unbecoming desperation of a 40-year-old man forced to a reckoning with his own identity. Although Dr. Brandon would go on to graduate from college and become a high school guidance counselor, he found that sweet-ass summer vacations and a strong teacher's union didn't necessarily mean safety from judgment from the patriarchy or American meritocracy. Both a chronicle of the American Dream and an indictment of it, this searing debut memoir exposes the price we pay for the promise of a bright future. Dr. Brandon Day's story challenges our ideas of what it means to overcome—and live life on our own terms, even if those terms mean that you're kind of an asshole.
For all the discussion in the media about creationism and 'Intelligent Design', virtually nothing has been said about the evidence in question - the evidence for evolution by natural selection. Yet, as this succinct and important book shows, that evidence is vast, varied, and magnificent, and drawn from many disparate fields of science. The very latest research is uncovering a stream of evidence revealing evolution in action - from the actual observation of a species splitting into two, to new fossil discoveries, to the deciphering of the evidence stored in our genome. Why Evolution is True weaves together the many threads of modern work in genetics, palaeontology, geology, molecular biology, anatomy, and development to demonstrate the 'indelible stamp' of the processes first proposed by Darwin. It is a crisp, lucid, and accessible statement that will leave no one with an open mind in any doubt about the truth of evolution.
"This might be one of the month’s, if not the year’s, sweetest books — zaniest, too.” ―The Washington Post "A hilarious addition to the dogoir canon.” ―People "Perhaps the greatest love story ever told.” ―Refinery29 "The feel-good book the world needs." —PopSugar From one of the Internet's most original voices, a hilarious journey through the odd corners of obsessive dog ownership and the author's own infatuation with her perfect dog Peter. The author met Peter in the spring of 2017. He -- calm, puppy-eyed, with the heart of a poet and the soul of, also, a poet -- came to her first as a foster. He was unable to stay with his previously assigned foster for reasons that are none of your business, but which we will tell you were related to frequent urination. The rescue needed someone free of the sort of responsibilities that would force her to regularly leave the house for either work or socializing, and a writer was the natural choice. Thus began a love story for the ages. The Particulars of Peter is a funny exploration of the joy found in loving a dog so much it makes you feel like you're going to combust, and the author's potentially codependent relationship with her own sweet dog, Peter. Readers will follow Peter and his owner to Woofstock, "the largest outdoor festival for dogs in North America," and accompany them to lessons in Canine Freestyle, a sport where dogs perform a routine set to music, creating the illusion that they're dancing with their owners. From learning about Peter's DNA, to seeing if dogs can sense the presence of ghosts, The Particulars of Peter will give readers a smart, entertaining respite from the harsh world of humans into the funny little world of dogs. Readers will accompany this lovable duo through exciting trips, lessons, quiet moments of connection, and probably a failure or two. By fusing memoir and infotainment, The Particulars of Peter promises to refresh the perennially popular dog lit category in a scrumptiously bighearted barnstormer of a book.
The lifeguards at North Beach Country Club know they’re lucky. While other kids are flipping burgers, they’re sunning themselves by day and partying by night. So what if some people say the place is cursed, haunted. This is the life! And then, one by one, the lifeguards start to die horrible deaths. Someone—or something—evil is stalking them. They all know how to save other people’s lives...but who will save theirs?
