My Inflatable Friend

My Inflatable Friend

Author: Gerald Everett Jones

Publisher: LaPuerta Books and Media

Published: 2018-09-19

Total Pages: 187

ISBN-13: 097948667X

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Trying to make your girlfriend jealous with a life-sized rubber doll might be a bad idea. A reformed hacker-turned-slacker, twenty-something Rollo Hemphill fantasizes about becoming a top-forty DJ. Unfortunately, he has more talent than ambition. He's settled for a menial job as a car jockey at "The Wuthering Palms," a luxury hotel in Beverly Hills. Proximity to all that glitz and glamour soon stirs his attraction to Felicia Ferrulo, the Sicilian hottie who works in the hotel beauty shop. When Felicia doesn't give him a nod, much less a chance, Rollo devises a desperate plan. It involves dressing up a life-sized doll to look like one of the hotel's reclusive megastar residents and conspicuously driving the fake woman around town in borrowed vehicles. Inspiring jealousy is his goal, but it quickly gets waaaaaaay out of hand. Rollo's clever scheme backfires with stunning success, causing him to fall upward with dizzying speed - as he rockets toward the stars but away from the girl of his dreams. Rollo's fumbling attempts to undo his tangled web is, by turns, pathetic and hysterically funny. My Inflatable Friend is a witty, cautionary tale about the perils of pretending to be someone you're not - and the hazards of stroking every male's most private and vulnerable part - his swelling ego! - "Fast, funny, and sufficiently out there to be banned in Pasadena. Check with your doctor before reading." - Peter Lefcourt, author of The Woody and The Manhattan Beach Project "While the entire story is built on the most unbelievable and unrealistic of scenarios, this book is not intended to aim for an award in journalism. What it is, however, is an entrée into the land of the ridiculous, and I just couldn’t stop laughing. An extremely humorous, excruciatingly funny account of one poor soul as he attempts to win the heart of his beloved (whom he has never even gotten a first date with!). Hold onto your stomach because you’ll be laughing so hard you won’t be able to catch your breath!" - The International Review of Books "Gentlemen, this is a book for every one of us that has had a glorious, highly sexual relationship, albeit imaginary, with the most beautiful woman in the world. Unbelievably funny, unexpected, and very challenging for our boy Rollo. An entertaining read... recommended for those who like a good laugh." - Dan Whitman, Allbooks Review "Straddles the line between outright drawing-room silliness and romantic comedy... You may root for the charmingly dense Rollo." – Kirkus "Should be read aloud before large groups for maximum effect. Do not invite your wife or girlfriend." - Marvin J. Wolf, co-writer, Ladies' Night, USA Networks "Being single and on the make is tough enough when you've had some experience, even if it ended badly. But seeing poor Rollo go splat, it hurts so well when I laugh!" - Tom Blake, syndicated columnist, "Single Again," Orange County Register


Friend Me

Friend Me

Author: Cathy Hopkins

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

Published: 2009-04-07

Total Pages: 378

ISBN-13: 1439164134

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Lucy, Izzy, and Nesta are sassy, sparkling...and utterly smitten. In Mates, Dates, and Inflatable Bras, Lucy is at a turning point. She doesn't feel like she fits in with her friends Izzie and Nesta. Then Lucy sees the most wonderful boy, and things start to change -- in all areas of her life. Izzie is smitten with Mark in Mates, Dates, and Cosmic Kisses. When Izzie cancels plans just so she's available if Mark should call, Lucy and Nesta know they need to intervene. But how can they help when Izzie is convinced that she and Mark are destined to be together? Nesta meets a boy of her own in Mates, Dates, and Designer Divas. Simon is rich and his lifestyle is totally glamorous. So is his friend Cressida. But competing for Simon's affections could cost Nesta more than she anticipated.


Farnsworth's Revenge

Farnsworth's Revenge

Author: Gerald Everett Jones

Publisher: LaPuerta Books and Media

Published: 2018-09-19

Total Pages: 282

ISBN-13: 0985622733

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Even grown men get upset when you take their toys away. Rollo Hemphill has a history with a life-sized rubber doll he dressed up to look like glamorous Hollywood star Monica LaMonica. For a time, the doll’s worldwide travels provided convenient cover and sensational press for her living counterpart. But now, rubber-Monica has disappeared from crusty Hugo Farnsworth’s yacht in St. Tropez. Like it or (mostly) not, Rollo gets drafted as an unofficial government operative to deal with the kidnappers. The doll has become a pawn in an international game centered on an eccentric Turk who collects lookalikes – but who may have also collected state secrets, including the plans for cold fusion and a scheme for bankrupting the world’s money supply. All Rollo wants to do is get safely home to his estranged wife Felicia – who now happens to be pregnant. Is the child his? If not, will Rollo be bold enough to risk everything for a real life with a real woman? Once again, Rollo will prove that the male ego is as vulnerable as it is predictably deflatable. - “On the lam in Paris, computer geek-turned-shamus Rollo Hemphill is on the prowl for a kidnapped blonde. A rich old man’s plaything, this doll has a famous face, legs up to here, and all the right equipment. A soft-boiled dick if ever there was one, Rollo learns too late that as usual, the yolk is on him.” - Marvin J. Wolf, author of For Whom The Shofar Blows and other Rabbi Ben Mysteries “The first requirement to be a fan of Farnsworth's Revenge is an ability to suspend belief. While the scenario of a kidnapped life-size replica inviting international espionage seems far-fetched, the story succeeds in painting a satisfying blend of possibility and madness in a manner designed to attract male readers with an interest in fast-paced espionage stories that hold a healthy dose of angst, witty mishaps and misadventure... Blend all this zaniness with emotional reflections as Rollo strives to reconcile differences between many different factions (not the least of which is his girlfriends) and you have a blend of action, drama, humor, and laugh-out-loud reflections revolving around the male ego and its responses... Don't expect a book that's easily 'pegged': Farnsworth's Revenge provides a read that's out of the ordinary and excels in unexpected twists and turns of plot; all spiced by comedy and hilarious encounters between Rollo and forces that pull him in different emotional and intellectual directions. It's recommended for mature teens (ages 16 and older) as well as adult audiences.” - D. Donovan, Senior Reviewer, Midwest Book Review


Mates, Dates and Inflatable Bras

Mates, Dates and Inflatable Bras

Author: Cathy Hopkins

Publisher: Bonnier Publishing Fiction Ltd.

Published: 2014-11-06

Total Pages: 109

ISBN-13: 1848120761

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Lucy feels like everything is changing around her, and suddenly she is required to make all sorts of decisions. Everyone else knows who they are and what they want to be except for her. Worse still, her best friend has hooked up with the glamorous Nesta. Can three girls be best friends? But then the day Lucy sees the most wonderful boy crossing the street, things do start to change - in all areas of her life... The first book in the highly successful MATES, DATES series that's sold over 3 million copies worldwide.


Under Your Spell

Under Your Spell

Author: Laura Wood

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

Published: 2024-06-25

Total Pages: 352

ISBN-13: 1668051907

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"When the daughter of a rockstar who's sworn she will never date one finds herself in a secluded cabin for six weeks with the rockstar of the moment Theo Eliott to make sure he writes the album that he's two years overdue on delivering, sparks fly and Theo will do everything he can to prove to Clemmie that he's all her wishes come true, perfect for fans of Emily Henry and Abby Jimenez"--


Friends to the End

Friends to the End

Author: Bradley Trevor Greive

Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing

Published: 2011-10-18

Total Pages: 122

ISBN-13: 1449414060

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This is the first paperback edition of the classic gift book. "In Friends to the End, I have tried to address some of the profound and amusing aspects of friendship in a way that offers pause for thought and more than a few reasons to laugh out loud. I hope this little book helps us all appreciate those people in our lives whom we both adore and sometimes want to strangle, but at the end of the day, we simply couldn't live without--our friends." --Bradley Trevor Grieve Friends and life. Life and friends. The two are so tightly interwoven it's impossible to imagine one being remotely worthwhile without the other. As Bradley Trevor Greive points out, "There are very few truly solitary creatures on this planet. And most of them have serious personal hygiene issues." What makes friends so special? What does our choice of friends say about us? What sparks the best friendships and keeps them burning? In Friends to the End: The True Value of Friendship, BTG uses his trademark witty narrative illustrated with irresistible animal photos to explore the daily magic we experience through our friends. Best described as a cross between his famously successful Dear Mom and The Blue Day Book, Friends to the End examines themes such as why we can't live without friends, how great friendships grow from humble beginnings, how to identify different types of friendship, what to do when good friends turn bad, and why it's all so worthwhile. "When I think back to all the really great or the horrendously bad times in my life," says BTG, "I can't help but think about how my friends made the former all the more enjoyable and the latter at least survivable. I want this book to help people appreciate friendship for all it is and all it can be." * NOTE: The price on the cover is an easily removable sticker.


To My Dearest Friends

To My Dearest Friends

Author: Patricia Volk

Publisher: Vintage

Published: 2008-04-08

Total Pages: 210

ISBN-13: 0307275744

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Alice and Nanny have never met before, but they have one thing in common: their late friend Roberta. Alice is the prim proprietor of a chic Madison Avenue shop, while Nanny is a sharp-eyed Manhattan real-estate broker. This New York odd couple is thrown together when Roberta trusts them with her last request—that together they open her safe-deposit box. What they find inside compels these women to address a surprising truth about their beloved Roberta. A profound yet hilarious novel, To My Dearest Friends is the story of two women and a journey of friendship neither chose to take.


The Friend Scheme

The Friend Scheme

Author: Cale Dietrich

Publisher: Feiwel & Friends

Published: 2020-07-28

Total Pages: 239

ISBN-13: 1250187001

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Part thriller, part romance, The Friend Scheme is another twisty #ownvoices YA novel from Cale Dietrich, author of The Love Interest. Matt’s father is a criminal with high hopes that his son will follow in his footsteps. His family is at war with another, and Matt’s dad is caught in the crossfire. Matt and his older brother are expected to fight for their family. But deep down Matt has other ambitions—and attractions. When he meets Jason, Matt believes he might be falling deeper than friendship for the first time. The boys keep their connection a secret, and soon Matt suspects that Jason is part of the family that tried to kill his father. The truth, however, is even more shattering, and Matt must decide if he can ever break free and own who he really is and who he is meant to love.


Preacher Fakes a Miracle

Preacher Fakes a Miracle

Author: Gerald Everett Jones

Publisher: LaPuerta Books and Media

Published: 2020-10-24

Total Pages: 290

ISBN-13: 1735950203

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2020 NYC Big Book Awards Distinguished Favorite in Mystery. The series has won nine awards. Amateur sleuth Evan Wycliff is a disillusioned divinity student who is fascinated by astrophysics and given up both. He's returned to his small-town farm roots in Southern Missouri. He is also disappointed in love. His beautiful fiancé was a brilliant Jewish scientist, a defense contractor who was killed in a rocket attack in Syria. These days Evan gets guest preacher gigs and uses his investigative skills as skip tracer for the local car and tractor dealership. In this second novel in the series, Evan counsels a boy who is afflicted with schizophrenia and has been accused of rape. Along with related abuses of the child welfare system, he uncovers a teen trafficking ring run out of a luxury casino resort by a Russian oligarch. “This is literature masquerading as a mystery. Carefully yet powerfully, Gerald Jones creates a small, stunning world in a tiny midwestern town, infusing each character with not just life but wit, charm and occasionally menace. This is the kind of writing one expects from John Irving or Jane Smiley.” - Marvin J. Wolf, author of the Rabbi Ben Mysteries, including A Scribe Dies in Brooklyn