The Mourning After

The Mourning After

Author: John Ibson

Publisher: University of Chicago Press

Published: 2018-11-01

Total Pages: 279

ISBN-13: 022657668X

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On the battlefields of World War II, with their fellow soldiers as the only shield between life and death, a generation of American men found themselves connecting with each other in new and profound ways. Back home after the war, however, these intimacies faced both scorn and vicious homophobia. The Mourning After makes sense of this cruel irony, telling the story of the unmeasured toll exacted upon generations of male friendships. John Ibson draws evidence from the contrasting views of male closeness depicted in WWII-era fiction by Gore Vidal and John Horne Burns, as well as from such wide-ranging sources as psychiatry texts, child development books, the memoirs of veterans’ children, and a slew of vernacular snapshots of happy male couples. In this sweeping reinterpretation of the postwar years, Ibson argues that a prolonged mourning for tenderness lost lay at the core of midcentury American masculinity, leaving far too many men with an unspoken ache that continued long after the fighting stopped, forever damaging their relationships with their wives, their children, and each other.


Grieving Beyond Gender

Grieving Beyond Gender

Author: Kenneth J. Doka

Publisher: Routledge

Published: 2011-01-19

Total Pages: 259

ISBN-13: 1135844291

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Grieving Beyond Gender: Understanding the Ways Men and Women Mourn is a revision of Men Don’t Cry, Women Do: Transcending Gender Stereotypes of Grief. In this work, Doka and Martin elaborate on their conceptual model of "styles or patterns of grieving" – a model that has generated both research and acceptance since the publication of the first edition in 1999. In that book, as well as in this revision, Doka and Martin explore the different ways that individuals grieve, noting that gender is only one factor that affects an individual’s style or pattern of grief. The book differentiates intuitive grievers, where the pattern is more affective, from instrumental grievers, who grieve in a more cognitive and behavioral way, while noting other patterns that might be more blended or dissonant. The model is firmly grounded in social science theory and research. A particular strength of the work is the emphasis placed on the clinical implications of the model on the ways that different types of grievers might best be supported through individual counseling or group support.


Grace Like Scarlett

Grace Like Scarlett

Author: Adriel Booker

Publisher: Baker Books

Published: 2018-05-01

Total Pages: 214

ISBN-13: 1493414119

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Though one in four pregnancies ends in loss, miscarriage is shrouded in such secrecy and stigma that the woman who experiences it often feels deeply isolated, unsure how to process her grief. Her body seems to have betrayed her. Her confidence in the goodness of God is rattled. Her loved ones don't know what to say. Her heart is broken. She may feel guilty, ashamed, angry, depressed, confused, or alone. With vulnerability and tenderness, Adriel Booker shares her own experience of three consecutive miscarriages, as well as the stories of others. She tackles complex questions about faith and suffering with sensitivity and clarity, inviting women to a place of grace, honesty, and hope in the redemptive purposes of God without offering religious clichés and pat answers. She also shares specific, practical resources, such as ways to help guide children through grief, suggestions for memorializing your baby, and advice on pregnancy after loss, as well as a special section for dads and loved ones.


Men and Miscarriage

Men and Miscarriage

Author: Aaron Gouveia

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

Published: 2021-07-06

Total Pages: 216

ISBN-13: 1510763619

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From an esteemed author known for battling gender norms and bringing down "man up" culture, comes this essential guide for men and those who love them. Miscarriage, infertility, and abortion are generally considered women’s issues—and while they are far from uncommon in our society, open conversations surrounding those topics are exceedingly rare. They're seen as taboo, even distasteful. And that’s just for women. When it comes to men and how they are impacted by these issues, it’s almost complete radio silence. It’s not that men don’t think about these things or aren’t affected—after all, they make up half of most couples experiencing these issues—it’s that toxic masculinity and gender stereotypes in our society tell men that suffering in silence equals strength and expressing emotions is weakness. It’s men not knowing how to feel, how to express those feelings, or if they’re even allowed to feel this trauma beyond supporting their partner. In Men and Miscarriage, husband and wife Aaron and MJ Gouveia ask men (and others) these questions directly. Using their own personal experiences enduring four miscarriages and a medically-necessary abortion combined with interviews of people from all different backgrounds and walks of life, the couple sheds light on how these topics influence men, women, their relationships, their mental health, and examines the shame and stigma too often associated with pregnancies that don't go as planned.


Swallowed by a Snake

Swallowed by a Snake

Author: Thomas R. Golden

Publisher: Golden Healing Publishing LLC

Published: 1996

Total Pages: 0

ISBN-13: 9780965464901

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Acclaimed by experts Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and Hope Edelman, Swallowed by a Snake brings hope and understanding to those who have experienced a loss. This book gives readers the helpful and healing information that psychotherapist Tom Golden teaches health care professionals in the U.S. and Canada. In clear, accessible language, Golden shows how the masculine gift is used by both men and women and reveals the hidden masculine ways of healing that so often go unnoticed and under-utilized. Golden draws upon his 20 years of clinical experience in revealing this powerful mode of healing that is often overlooked. Helpful to both men and women, Swallowed by a Snake serves as a map to healing and offers new ways to understand our uniqueness and our difference as it guides us through the trauma of loss on a path toward transformation. -- "I find this material interesting and stimulating and feel it will fill a void in the literature about grief and gender differences. The material presents a fresh look into the uniqueness of a man's grief in a way that both men and women will find extremely helpful", -- Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, M.D., On Death and Dying


The Journey Through Grief

The Journey Through Grief

Author: Alan D. Wolfelt

Publisher: Companion Press

Published: 2003-09-01

Total Pages: 60

ISBN-13: 1617220973

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This spiritual companion for mourners affirms their need to mourn and invites them to journey through their very unique and personal grief. Detailed are the six needs that all mourners must yield to and eventually embrace if they are to go on to find continued meaning in life and living, including the need to remember the deceased loved one and the need for support from others. Short explanations of each mourning need are followed by brief, spiritual passages that, when read slowly and reflectively, help mourners work through their unique thoughts and feelings. Also included in this revised edition are journaling sections for mourners to write out their personal responses to each of the six needs. This replaces 1879651114.


Finding Meaning

Finding Meaning

Author: David Kessler

Publisher: Scribner

Published: 2020-09-01

Total Pages: 272

ISBN-13: 1501192744

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In this groundbreaking and “poignant” (Los Angeles Times) book, David Kessler—praised for his work by Maria Shriver, Marianne Williamson, and Mother Teresa—journeys beyond the classic five stages to discover a sixth stage: meaning. In 1969, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross first identified the stages of dying in her transformative book On Death and Dying. Decades later, she and David Kessler wrote the classic On Grief and Grieving, introducing the stages of grief with the same transformative pragmatism and compassion. Now, based on hard-earned personal experiences, as well as knowledge and wisdom gained through decades of work with the grieving, Kessler introduces a critical sixth stage: meaning. Kessler’s insight is both professional and intensely personal. His journey with grief began when, as a child, he witnessed a mass shooting at the same time his mother was dying. For most of his life, Kessler taught physicians, nurses, counselors, police, and first responders about end of life, trauma, and grief, as well as leading talks and retreats for those experiencing grief. Despite his knowledge, his life was upended by the sudden death of his twenty-one-year-old son. How does the grief expert handle such a tragic loss? He knew he had to find a way through this unexpected, devastating loss, a way that would honor his son. That, ultimately, was the sixth stage of grief—meaning. In Finding Meaning, Kessler shares the insights, collective wisdom, and powerful tools that will help those experiencing loss. “Beautiful, tender, and wise” (Katy Butler, author of The Art of Dying Well), Finding Meaning is “an excellent addition to grief literature that helps pave the way for steps toward healing” (School Library Journal).


The Real Rules of Life

The Real Rules of Life

Author: Ken Druck, Ph.D.

Publisher: Hay House, Inc

Published: 2012-05-15

Total Pages: 242

ISBN-13: 1401939732

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We are brought up to believe a certain set of rules: The early bird gets the worm. Slow and steady wins the race. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Good things happen to good people. Keep your faith, work hard, and all your dreams will come true. But then we grow up. We learn that life isn’t really fair. There are no fairy godmothers, and not everything works out in the end, no matter how good we have been or how hard we’ve tried. Why, then, are these myths perpetuated? Because clichés and over-simple recipes for living provide a soothing way to manage our daily lives without confronting the harsh reality that some parts of our lives are out of our control. For several decades, Ken Druck has been willing to stand up and write about what we have hidden from ourselves for so long: we need to confront life as it is, not as we want it to be. We cannot magically wish things into reality. We cannot expect happiness or success to manifest from daily affirmations. By embracing the real rules of life, we discover life’s terms and learn to balance them with our own, preventing costly psychological debts and developing the life skills, underlying wisdom, and emotional freedom essential for fuller, richer lives. This book will resonate with what readers know to be true about how life really is. Readers will discover themselves in vibrant teaching stories from the front lines of Dr. Druck’s pioneering work with individuals, families, communities, leaders, and cutting-edge organizations. They will push the refresh button on long-held myths and limitations, turning them into empower truths, redirecting their lives in much more effective and purposeful ways, and reinvigorating the pursuit of their dream.


Modern Loss

Modern Loss

Author: Rebecca Soffer

Publisher: HarperCollins

Published: 2018-01-23

Total Pages: 313

ISBN-13: 006249922X

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Inspired by the website that the New York Times hailed as "redefining mourning," this book is a fresh and irreverent examination into navigating grief and resilience in the age of social media, offering comfort and community for coping with the mess of loss through candid original essays from a variety of voices, accompanied by gorgeous two-color illustrations and wry infographics. At a time when we mourn public figures and national tragedies with hashtags, where intimate posts about loss go viral and we receive automated birthday reminders for dead friends, it’s clear we are navigating new terrain without a road map. Let’s face it: most of us have always had a difficult time talking about death and sharing our grief. We’re awkward and uncertain; we avoid, ignore, or even deny feelings of sadness; we offer platitudes; we send sympathy bouquets whittled out of fruit. Enter Rebecca Soffer and Gabrielle Birkner, who can help us do better. Each having lost parents as young adults, they co-founded Modern Loss, responding to a need to change the dialogue around the messy experience of grief. Now, in this wise and often funny book, they offer the insights of the Modern Loss community to help us cry, laugh, grieve, identify, and—above all—empathize. Soffer and Birkner, along with forty guest contributors including Lucy Kalanithi, singer Amanda Palmer, and CNN’s Brian Stelter, reveal their own stories on a wide range of topics including triggers, sex, secrets, and inheritance. Accompanied by beautiful hand-drawn illustrations and witty "how to" cartoons, each contribution provides a unique perspective on loss as well as a remarkable life-affirming message. Brutally honest and inspiring, Modern Loss invites us to talk intimately and humorously about grief, helping us confront the humanity (and mortality) we all share. Beginners welcome.