Jokes like to poke fun at people, things, situations and places. But having fun at someone else's expense can stop it being fun. So here's a collection of over 1,000 gags that shouldn't upset anybody.
Here are1,237 laugh-out-loud quotes, quips, and jokes, all in one packed-to-the-brim volume. Yes, folks, sit back and enjoy this collection of inadvertent gaffes, thigh-slappers, puns, and everything and anything else that'll tickle your funny bone. There’s something old, something new, something stolen, and something blue—from favorite comedians, sports and political figures, and literary wits. There are even giggles for the kids and groaners for the grown-ups. Just a few among the 1,237 funniest things ever said: “I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.”—Rita Rudner “I don’t know if it’s good for baseball, but it sure beats the hell out of rooming with Phil Rizzuto.”—Yogi Berra on being told that Joe DiMaggio was to marry Marilyn Monroe “I made my money the old-fashioned way. I was very nice to a wealthy relative right before he died.”—Malcolm Forbes “The Dalai Lama visited the White House and told the President that he could teach him to find a higher state of consciousness. Then, after talking to Bush for a few minutes, he said, ‘You know what? Let’s just grab lunch.’”—Bill Maher
No coach in National Football League history endured more playoff heartache than Marty Schottenheimer. Despite racking up two hundred regular-season victories (only five coaches in the entire ninety-year history of the NFL ever won more games), Marty never reached the Super Bowl during his coaching career. Martyball tells the story of a man who persevered through an avalanche of misfortune and playoff agony that would have brought most men to their knees. But Marty never lost sight of why he fell in love with coaching in the first place: he wanted to teach and mold men through the game of football. Based on more than one hundred hours of interviews with Marty, his players, assistants, family, and friends, this book will give readers a look into the mind of an exceptional coach, and explain why he never gave up or succumbed to self-pity despite a long streak of bad luck. Get the background on Schottenheimer’s life, from his childhood in rural Pennsylvania to his playing and coaching careers in pro football, and learn why he kept believing in the game he loved—and how he found valuable lessons about life and football beyond each and every loss.
“Reading this will lead you to a better life.” —Dean Nelson, author of God Hides in Plain Sight In The 100 Thing Challenge Dave Bruno relates how he remade his life and regained his soul by getting rid of almost everything. But The 100 Thing Challenge is more than just the story of how one man started a movement to unhook himself from consumerism by winnowing his life’s possessions down to 100 things in one year. It’s also an inspiring, invigorating guide to how we all can begin to live simpler, more meaningful lives.
_The Leaky Establishment_ is an atomic farce whose author David Langford once worked in the gentle radioactive glow of Britain's nuclear weapons industry, and hilariously satirizes its ghastly bureaucracy from the inside. Black comedy overtakes the unfortunate defence-scientist hero Roy Tappen when a "harmless" theft of office furniture lands him with his very own doomsday nuclear stockpile at home. Chain reactions of insanely comic escapades follow, with disaster piled on disaster, leading the increasingly desperate Tappen to the borders of science fiction as he seeks a way out of the mess.
Examining humor in depictions of the Civil War from the war years to the present, this review covers a wide range of literature, film and television in historical context. Wartime humor served as a form of propaganda to render the enemy and their cause laughable, but also to help people cope with the human costs of the conflict. After the war many authors and, later, movie and television producers employed humor to shape its legacy, perpetuating myths and stereotypes that became ingrained in American memory. Giving attention to the stories behind the stories, the author focuses on what people laughed at, who they laughed with and what it reveals about their view of events.
"Since pets communicate nonverbally, this book will help you recognize if your pet is suffering from [fear, anxiety, and stress]. By knowing your dog's body language, vocalizations, and changes in normal habits, you can make an accurate diagnosis and take action to prevent triggers or treat the fallout if they do happen"--Amazon.com.
Argues for more transparent, democratic and safer healthcare practices to keep patients better informed and hold poor-performing doctors and flawed systems accountable.
Elite bodyguard and P.I. Rick Bannerman's job is to protect. He doesn't get emotional with his clients, but when a woman from his past is threatened, his next job becomes personal. Family lawyer Abigail Laine is the target of a client's vengeful husband, but refuses Rick's offer of protection. He walked away from her four years ago, and she swore to forget him. Now her reluctance to accept his help could cost Abby her life.