Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Sausages

Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Sausages

Author: Tom Holt

Publisher: Orbit

Published: 2011-02-21

Total Pages: 267

ISBN-13: 0316122742

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Polly is a real estate solicitor. She is also losing her mind. Someone keeps drinking her coffee. And talking to her clients. And doing her job. And when she goes to the dry cleaner's to pick up her dress for the party, it's not there. Not the dress -- the dry cleaner's. And then there are the chickens who think they are people. Something strange is definitely going on -- and it's going to take more than a magical ring to sort it out. From one of the funniest voices in comic fiction today comes a hilarious tale of pigs and parallel worlds.


Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Sausages

Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Sausages

Author: Tom Holt

Publisher: Hachette UK

Published: 2011-02-21

Total Pages: 400

ISBN-13: 0316122742

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Polly is a real estate solicitor. She is also losing her mind. Someone keeps drinking her coffee. And talking to her clients. And doing her job. And when she goes to the dry cleaner's to pick up her dress for the party, it's not there. Not the dress -- the dry cleaner's. And then there are the chickens who think they are people. Something strange is definitely going on -- and it's going to take more than a magical ring to sort it out. From one of the funniest voices in comic fiction today comes a hilarious tale of pigs and parallel worlds.


Little People

Little People

Author: Tom Holt

Publisher: Hachette+ORM

Published: 2012-09-04

Total Pages: 329

ISBN-13: 0316233188

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"I was eight years old when I saw my first elf." And for unlikely hero Michael it was his last. Cruella, Michael's unfortunately named girlfriend, doesn't approve of his obsession with the little people. But the problem is that they won't leave him alone. And who can blame them when it's Michael's own stepfather who's responsible for causing them so much misery? Oh yes. Daddy George knows that elves can do so much more than gardening.


Barking

Barking

Author: Tom Holt

Publisher: Hachette+ORM

Published: 2012-09-04

Total Pages: 311

ISBN-13: 0316233269

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Duncan's boss doesn't think he's cut out to be a lawyer. He isn't a pack animal. He lacks the killer instinct. But when his best friend from school barges his way back into Duncan's life, along with a full supporting cast of lawyers, ex-wives, zombies, and snow-white unicorns, it's not long before things become distinctly unsettling. Hairy, even.


Paint Your Dragon

Paint Your Dragon

Author: Tom Holt

Publisher: Orbit

Published: 2012-09-04

Total Pages: 227

ISBN-13: 0316233226

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Sculptress Bianca Wilson is a living legend. St. George is also a legend, but not living. However, when Bianca's sculpture of the patron saint and his scaly chum gets a bit too lifelike, it opens up a new can of wyrms. The dragon knows that in the battle between Good and Evil, Evil got a raw deal and is looking to set the record straight. And George (who cheated) thinks the record's just fine as it is.


An Orc on the Wild Side

An Orc on the Wild Side

Author: Tom Holt

Publisher: Orbit

Published: 2019-09-10

Total Pages: 331

ISBN-13: 0316270849

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An Orc on the Wild Side is the latest comic masterpiece from one of the funniest writers in fantasy. Winter is coming, so why not get away from it all? Being the Dark Lord and Prince of Evil is not as much fun as it sounds, particularly if you are a basically decent person. King Mordak is just such a person. Technically he's more goblin than person, but the point is that he is really keen to be a lot less despicable than his predecessors. Not that the other goblins appreciate Mordak's attempts to redefine the role. Why should they when his new healthcare program seems designed to actually extend life expectancy, and his efforts to end a perfectly reasonable war with the dwarves appear to have become an obsession? With confidence in his leadership crumbling, what Mordak desperately needs is a distraction. Perhaps some of these humans moving to the Realm in search of great homes at an affordable price will be able to help? For more from Tom Holt, check out: The Management Style of the Supreme BeingsThe Good, The Bad, and the SmugThe Outsorcerer's ApprenticeWhen It's a JarDoughnutLife, Liberty, and the Pursuit of SausagesBlonde Bombshell


A Practical Guide to Conquering the World

A Practical Guide to Conquering the World

Author: K. J. Parker

Publisher: Orbit

Published: 2022-01-11

Total Pages: 321

ISBN-13: 0316498645

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A Practical Guide to Conquering the World can be read by itself, but for those who like endings it can also be considered the refreshingly pragmatic conclusion to World Fantasy Award-winning author K.J. Parker’s acclaimed sequence of novels that began with Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City and continue with How to Rule an Empire and Get Away with It. "Full of invention and ingenuity . . . Great fun." —SFX This is the true story of Aemilius Felix Boioannes the younger, the intended and unintended consequences of his life, the bad stuff he did on purpose, and the good stuff that happened in spite of him. It is, in other words, the tale of a war to end all wars, and the man responsible. For more from K. J. Parker, check out: Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled CityHow to Rule an Empire and Get Away With It A Practical Guide to Conquering the World The Two of SwordsThe Two of Swords: Volume OneThe Two of Swords Volume TwoThe Two of Swords: Volume Three The Fencer TrilogyColours in the SteelThe Belly of the BowThe Proof House The Scavenger TrilogyShadowPatternMemory Engineer TrilogyDevices and DesiresEvil for EvilThe Escapement The CompanyThe Folding KnifeThe HammerSharps


Snow White and the Seven Samurai

Snow White and the Seven Samurai

Author: Tom Holt

Publisher: Hachette+ORM

Published: 2012-09-04

Total Pages: 237

ISBN-13: 0316233315

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Once upon a time, everything was fine. Humpty Dumpty sat on his wall, Jack and Jill went about their lawful business, the Big Bad Wolf did what big bad wolves do, and the wicked queen plotted murder most foul. But the humans hacked, cried havoc, shut down the wicked queen's system, and corrupted her database-and suddenly everything was not fine at all. But at least we know that they'll all live happily ever after. Don't we?


Blonde Bombshell

Blonde Bombshell

Author: Tom Holt

Publisher: Hachette+ORM

Published: 2010-05-28

Total Pages: 351

ISBN-13: 0316126969

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The year is 2017. Lucy Pavlov is the CEO of PavSoft Industries, home of a revolutionary operating system that every computer in the world runs on. Her personal wealth is immeasurable, her intelligence is unfathomable, and she's been voted World's Most Beautiful Woman for three years running. To put it simply -- she has it all. But not everything is quite right in Lucy's life. For starters, she has no memories prior to 2015. She also keeps having run-ins with a unicorn. And to make matters even worse, a bomb is hurtling through interstellar space, headed straight for Lucy -- and the planet known as Earth.


The Two of Swords: Part Thirteen

The Two of Swords: Part Thirteen

Author: K. J. Parker

Publisher: Orbit

Published: 2016-02-16

Total Pages: 36

ISBN-13: 0316351571

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"Why are we fighting this war? Because evil must be resisted, and sooner or later there comes a time when men of principle have to make a stand. Because war is good for business and it's better to die on our feet than live on our knees. Because they started it. But at this stage in the proceedings," he added, with a slightly lop-sided grin, "mostly from force of habit." A soldier with a gift for archery. A woman who kills without care. Two brothers, both unbeatable generals, now fighting for opposing armies. No one in the vast and once glorious United Empire remains untouched by the rift between East and West, and the war has been fought for as long as anyone can remember. Some still survive who know how it was started, but no one knows how it will end. This serial novel from the World Fantasy Award winning K. J. Parker is the story of a war on a grand scale, told through the eyes of its soldiers, politicians, victims and heroes. The first three parts of The Two of Swords will arrive in April 2015, with further installments to be released monthly. This is the thirteenth installment in the Two of Swords serialization.