After decades of banishment to popular magazines and advice columns, jealousy and envy have emerged as legitimate topics of scientific inquiry. This volume includes chapters from nearly every major contributor to the psychological literature in this area. From emotional, and cognitive processes that underlie jealousy and envy; to the ways these emotions are experienced and expressed within close relationships; to family, societal, and cultural contexts, the volume offers a definitive statement of current theory and research.
"The Jealousy Cure unlocks the positive power of jealousy for happy relationships." —Foreword Reviews "Solid counsel for those whose relationships are plagued by jealousy and the individuals it targets." —Library Journal starred review Could jealousy be a positive thing? In this groundbreaking book, Robert L. Leahy—author of the hugely popular self-help guide, The Worry Cure—invites you to gain a greater understanding of your jealous feelings, keep jealousy from hijacking your life, and create healthier relationships. We’ve all heard tales of the overly jealous spouse or significant other. Maybe we’ve even been that jealous person, though we may not want to admit it. It’s hard to imagine anyone sailing through life without either having feelings of jealousy or being the target of someone’s jealousy. But what if jealousy isn’t just a neurotic weakness? What if it signals that your relationship matters to you? In short—what if jealousy serves a purpose? In The Jealousy Cure, renowned psychologist Robert L. Leahy takes a more nuanced approach to tackling feelings of jealousy. In this compelling book, you’ll uncover the evolutionary origins of jealousy, and how and why it’s served to help us as a species. You’ll also learn practices based in emotional schema theory, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), and mindfulness to help you overcome the shame jealousy can bring, improve communication with your partner, and ultimately make room for jealousy while also making your relationship more meaningful. You will learn that confronting jealousy in your relationship does not have to be a catastrophe, but can redirect you and your partner to build more trust, acceptance, and connection. We often feel jealous because we fear losing the things or people that matter to us the most. With this insightful guide, you’ll discover how jealousy can both help and hurt your relationship, and learn proven-effective skills to keep jealousy in its place. This book has been selected as an Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies Self-Help Book Recommendation— an honor bestowed on outstanding self-help books that are consistent with cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) principles and that incorporate scientifically tested strategies for overcoming mental health difficulties. Used alone or in conjunction with therapy, our books offer powerful tools readers can use to jump-start changes in their lives.
The Best Children's Books of the Year 2022, Bank Street College STARRED REVIEW! "This frank portrait of childhood jealousy is both a compelling story and a perfect teaching tool. The protagonist's journey is authentic and accessible, making it a great way to start a conversation about big feelings."—Kirkus Reviews starred review Sometimes, being jealous can make everything feel worse. Yaz is jealous. Way past jealous. Yaz loves to draw, but no one ever notices her pictures. Everyone loves Debby's drawings, and one even got put up on the classroom wall with a star on it. Now Yaz's jealousy is making her think ugly things, and even act mean! How can she get past being jealous?
Jealousy and envy permeate the practice of psychoanalytic and psychotherapeutic work. New experience and new relevance of old but neglected ideas about these two feeling states and their origins warrant special attention, both as to theory and practice. Their great complexity and multilayered nature are highlighted by a number of contributions: the very early inception of the "triangular" jealousy situations; the prominence of womb envy and hatred against femininity rooted in the envy of female procreativity; the role of shame and the core of both affects; the massive effects of the embodiment of these feelings in the conscience (i.e., the envious and resentful attacks by the "inner judge" against the self); the attempt to construct a cultic system of sacrifices the would countermand womb envy by an all-male cast of killing, rebirth, redemption, and blissful nourishment; and finally, the projection of envy, jealousy, and their context of shame and self-condemnation in the form of the Evil Eye. Taken together, the contributions to the stunning and insightful volume form a broad spectrum of new insights into the dynamics of two central emotions of rivalry and their clinical and cultural relevance and application.
Pia Mellody creates a framework for identifying codependent thinking, emotions and behaviour and provides an effective approach to recovery. Mellody sets forth five primary adult symptoms of this crippling condition, then traces their origin to emotional, spiritual, intellectual, physical and sexual abuses that occur in childhood. Central to Mellody's approach is the concept that the codependent adult's injured inner child needs healing. Recovery from codependence, therefore, involves clearing up the toxic emotions left over from these painful childhood experiences.
A “fascinating [and] evocative” analysis of these powerful emotions by the #1 New York Times–bestselling author of My Mother/My Self (Kirkus Reviews, starred review). What is jealousy, and how does it undermine our closest relationships? Renowned journalist and author Nancy Friday tackles this difficult topic with compelling honesty and depth of insight. Here, Friday explores the feeling of fear and its connection to jealousy—specifically the fear of losing love and power. Informed by close readings of psychological treatises on jealousy as well as anecdotal interviews, she offers new insights into jealousy at every stage of life--from childhood to old age. The author of the iconic bestseller My Secret Garden, Nancy Friday is known for her courage in tackling incredibly intimate, personal topics head-on and with astonishing honesty. Here, she turns her focus toward an emotional issue that often cripples loving relationships—and shows new pathways toward healing.
Jealousy is something that we all have to deal with - both in ourselves and in others. Rooted in our natural fears and insecurities, it has damaged relationships since the time of Cain and Abel and still does today - if we let it. In this wise and compassionate book, R. T. Kendall tackles, head-on, the sin that no one likes to admit to. He shows that it is only when we grasp that it is God we should aim to please that we will be able to recognise and overcome jealousy and, like Jesus, be jealous only for the glory of God.
ARE YOU TIRED OF CONSTANTLY THINKING ABOUT YOUR PARTNER'S PAST RELATIONSHIPS? Are you interested in letting go of obsessive jealous thoughts, anxiety, and curiosity about your partner's past? Wouldn't it feel great to be completely free from retroactive jealousy, and be able to move forward in your relationship without worry about the past? What if I told you that you already have the "cure" for overcoming retroactive jealousy? You do-all you need is the proper guidance. And that's where "Overcoming Retroactive Jealousy" comes in. Written from the perspective of one who has struggled with, and eventually overcome, obsessive jealousy surrounding a partner's past, Overcoming Retroactive Jealousy is the only guidebook you will ever need to let go of jealous thoughts, curiosity, and anxiety about your partner's past relationships/sexual history. AFTER READING YOU WILL: have access to a multi-step program that will help you to let go of your jealousy and anxiety begin incorporating coping exercises into your daily routine which will eliminate your jealous thoughts as soon as they appear feel a new sense of optimism and confidence in your ability to grow and overcome retroactive jealousy understand what your jealousy is really about, and have a concrete plan of action for overcoming it, and moving forward You might currently feel hopeless; like retroactive jealousy is something that you'll just be forced to "live with" until you die. You might even be severely depressed, mired in obsessive jealous thoughts and confusion. Overcoming Retroactive Jealousy will show you that you are suffering needlessly-and show you the way forward. In nineteen chapters, author Zachary Stockill outlines a series of time-tested effective strategies, practices, and exercises for confronting, and eventually overcoming, jealousy regarding your partner's past as painlessly, efficiently, and quickly as possible. A NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR: Several years ago, I experienced "crippling" retroactive jealousy. It disrupted my career, destroyed my relationship, and provoked months of anguish and depression. But thankfully, through a process of self-exploration, hard work, growth, and discovery, I overcame it. Based on my experience, and several years of research and talking to fellow sufferers about their condition, I wrote this book to give you a step-by-step program to help you do the same, and overcome retroactive jealousy as quickly and easily as possible. I know that this step-by-step program is effective because since 2013 my book has helped "thousands" of readers get over retroactive jealousy, save their relationships, and regain control. In retrospect, my jealousy was a blessing in disguise. As I write to you today, I am undoubtedly a stronger, more confident, more loving, and overall better man for having gone through it. It might not seem like it now, but you too can use your jealousy to your advantage. Seriously--as you overcome retroactive jealousy, you will emerge a stronger, more confident, more attractive, and more loving person and partner. And it's my pleasure to guide you every step of the way. So whether you're struggling with your girlfriend's past, wife's past, husband's past, or your boyfriend's past, you need to know that you have the power to move forward, and kiss jealous thoughts goodbye. You can get a hold on your brain, and patterns of constant curiosity and obsessive thinking. You can move forward in your relationship without the burden and strain of retroactive jealousy. You can be the partner you want to be-you just have to understand where retroactive jealousy comes from, and how to deal with it. SO LET'S GET STARTED! Get your copy of the most popular guidebook on the market for overcoming retroactive jealousy, and join thousands of readers who have regained control, and found peace."
An old and recurring theme in human relationships, jealousy has been captured in myth, drama, literature, dance, sculpture, and painting, as well as in the popular press. Jealousy is also a major cause of murder, spousal violence, and marital breakdown. It has been estimated that up to 20% of all murders involve a jealous lover, and, in a nation-wide survey of marriage counselors, jealousy was cited as a (if not the) major focus of treatment for about a third of all couples under 50. However, despite the rich array of commentary, the empirical study of this universal phenomenon is still in its infancy. Providing an important advance, this groundbreaking volume is the first to offer a comprehensive review of modern research on romantic jealousy. It offers a conceptual framework for ordering past research, an up-to-date review of the literature from diverse sources and fields, and useful clinical strategies for practitioners and clinicians in training. This volume concentrates on romantic jealousy, which the authors define as neither an emotion, a state of mind, nor a way of behaving, but rather as a multi-system phenomenon involving personality, relationships, culture, and perhaps biology. This model serves to integrate remaining chapters, yields a richer theory, and engenders a flexible clinical perspective. The book opens by presenting a model of romantic jealousy that integrates research and clinical phenomena. It then offers analyses of several different perspectives including: sociobiological and personality approaches; ways in which relationship characteristics and dynamics contribute to jealousy; gender differences; and cultural and social factors that affect jealousy. Chapters on clinical concerns focus on violence, psychopathology, and the assessment and treatment of normal, reactive, and symptomatic jealousies. Specific strategies are provided with clinical, real-life, and cross-cultural case examples used throughout. Providing both theory and practical suggestions for understanding and treating romantic jealousy from individual and couples therapeutic approaches, JEALOUSY is an invaluable resource for clinicians and researchers in psychology, psychotherapy, marital and family therapy, psychiatry, and social work. The volume serves as a primary or secondary text in advanced undergraduate and graduate seminars in social psychology of interpersonal relationships, emotions, personality or clinical psychology, couples relationships, and interdisciplinary courses linking culture and the individual. Because it discusses the relationship between violence and jealousy, it also provides insightful reading for lawyers, criminologists, and law enforcement officials.
