Conflict in Intimate Relationships
Conflict in Intimate Relationships

Author: Dudley D. Cahn

Publisher: Guilford Press

Published: 1992-09-26

Total Pages: 164

ISBN-13: 9780898629828

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Why is the potential for conflict so great for intimate partners? This volume integrates research from psychology, sociology, communications, and family studies to provide a comprehensive, practical synthesis of findings concerning conflict in close personal relationships. Combining discussion of both theory and practice, the volume illuminates why conflict occurs frequently between friends, romantic partners, distressed couples, and divorcing spouses, and also offers professionals a framework for understanding conflict as they try to help defuse strife. The book establishes conflict as a process that lies dormant in any mutually dependent relationship. Depending on the partners' strategies in conflict, the potential for disagreement can quickly become a real obstacle between them and can even threaten to end the relationship. To better determine the source of stress, three different research paradigms are presented to explain the conflict process and why it occurs, as well as to suggest what can be done to help partners manage conflict and preserve intimacy. The systems-interactionists' approach is presented first. This section discusses methods used to characterize destructive and constructive communication behavior patterns and strategies for dispute resolution. Next, the rules-interventionist approach examines ways in which a mediator can help divorcing couples end one relationship and begin another. Finally, the cognitive-exchange approach is considered. Methods used to determine the antecedent conditions which influence partners' reactions during conflict are presented and approaches for helping them modify destructive communication strategies are discussed. Throughout, terminology and measurements are made to correspond across disciplines so that the work is accessible to all. In addition to relating particular studies and research programs to their appropriate research approaches, the book shows how conflict is uniquely handled when distressed partners engage in problem solving, when disputing partners engage in mediation, and when same and opposite sex partners participate in developing relationships. Comparison and contrast emphasize the role played by conflict communication behavior, rules, and strategies found in developing intimate relationships, the destructive conflict characteristic of emotionally distressed couples, and the bargaining/negotiation characteristic of formal mediation. Drawing together the wide array of research on the topic in a user-friendly format, this book is an ideal resource for any investigator interested in distressed relationships. Offering practical methodology firmly founded in theory, it is invaluable reading for clinicians working with people in conflict. The book also serves as a text for advanced undergraduate and graduate students of conflict in interpersonal relationships, and as supplementary reading for a variety of courses where conflict is a focus of study.

Intimate Conflict
Intimate Conflict

Author: Brian Caraher

Publisher: SUNY Press

Published: 1992-01-01

Total Pages: 226

ISBN-13: 9780791410257

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A demonstration of how rich and suggestive the notion of contradiction in discourse can be, noting its function in the works of Hesiod, Plato, Milton, Kant and Hegel, Wordsworth, Melville, Freud, and others. Concludes that rhetorical and conceptual contradictions produce--rather than disable--constructive discourse. Paper edition (unseen), $14.95. Annotation copyrighted by Book News, Inc., Portland, OR

Intimate Japan
Intimate Japan

Author: Allison Alexy

Publisher: University of Hawaii Press

Published: 2019-01-31

Total Pages: 289

ISBN-13: 082488244X

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How do couples build intimacy in an era that valorizes independence and self-responsibility? How can a man be a good husband when full-time jobs are scarce? How can unmarried women find fulfillment and recognition outside of normative relationships? How can a person express their sexuality when there is no terminology that feels right? In contemporary Japan, broad social transformations are reflected and refracted in changing intimate relationships. As the Japanese population ages, the low birth rate shrinks the population, and decades of recession radically restructure labor markets, Japanese intimate relationships, norms, and ideals are concurrently shifting. This volume explores a broad range of intimate practices in Japan in the first decades of the 2000s to trace how social change is becoming manifest through deeply personal choices. From young people making decisions about birth control to spouses struggling to connect with each other, parents worrying about stigma faced by their adopted children, and queer people creating new terms to express their identifications, Japanese intimacies are commanding a surprising amount of attention, both within and beyond Japan. With ethnographic analysis focused on how intimacy is imagined, enacted, and discussed, the volume's chapters offer rich and complex portraits of how people balance personal desires with feasible possibilities and shifting social norms. Intimate Japan will appeal to scholars and students in anthropology and Japanese or Asian studies, particularly those focusing on gender, kinship, sexuality, and labor policy. The book will also be of interest to researchers across social science subject areas, including sociology, political science, and psychology.

Managing Intercultural Conflict Effectively
Managing Intercultural Conflict Effectively

Author: Stella Ting-Toomey

Publisher: SAGE

Published: 2001-07-25

Total Pages: 252

ISBN-13: 9780803948433

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In this volume, Ting-Toomey and Oetzel accomplish two objectives: to explain the culture-based situational conflict model, including the relationship among conflict, ethnicity, and culture; and, second, integrate theory and practice in the discussion of interpersonal conflict in culture, ethnic, and gender contexts. While the book is theoretically directed, it is also a down-to-earth practical book that contains ample examples, conflict dialogues, and critical incidents. Managing Intercultural Conflict Effectively helps to illustrate the complexity of intercultural conflict interactions and readers will gain a broad yet integrative perspective in assessing intercultural conflict situations. The book is a multidisciplinary text that draws from the research work of a variety of disciplines such as cross-cultural psychology, social psychology, sociology, marital and family studies, international management, and communication.

Dating Radar
Dating Radar

Author: Bill Eddy

Publisher: Unhooked Books

Published: 2017-08-22

Total Pages: 0

ISBN-13: 9781936268122

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Why do so many of us commit to the wrong person? Most believe that attraction and compatibility are the keys to relationship success when, in reality, these are red flags in 15-20% of the population. When it comes to love, the brain is irrational and shortsighted. We make decisions based on incomplete information, biased understanding, and strong emotion. Love truly is blind. That's why you need dating radar, it gives you a way to detect hazards you might otherwise miss by recognizing: 1. Warning signs of certain personalities that can spell love relationship danger 2. Ways that they can jam your radar (deceive you) 3. Where your own blind spots might be Attorney, mediator, and social worker Bill Eddy and relationship expert Megan Hunter use their expertise in high-conflict personalities, complicated relationships and divorce to equip readers to see through the blinding spark of new love and spot potential toxic relationships before it is too late! If hindsight is 20/20, dating radar is x-ray vision. Bill Eddy is an award-winning author and president of High Conflict Institute.Megan Hunter is a publisher, author, speaker and the founder of Unhooked Media.

Dangerous Love
Dangerous Love

Author: Chad Ford

Publisher: Berrett-Koehler Publishers

Published: 2020-06-23

Total Pages: 263

ISBN-13: 1523089784

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“Chad Ford reminds us that humanity lies within all of us, and although conflict is everywhere in today's world, we have the tools we need to overcome obstacles and to thrive. This is a fantastic, timely book that I highly recommend." —Steve Kerr, Head Coach, Golden State Warriors Knowing how to transform conflict is critical in both our personal and professional lives. Yet, by and large, we are terrible at it. The reason, says longtime mediator Chad Ford, is fear. When conflict comes, our instincts are to run or fight. To transform conflict, Ford says we need to turn toward the people we are in conflict with, put down our physical and emotional weapons, and really love them with the kind of love that leads us to treat others as fellow human beings, not as objects in our way. We have to open ourselves up with no guarantee that anyone on the other side will do the same. While this can feel even more dangerous than conflict itself, it allows us to see the humanity of others so clearly that their needs and desires matter to us as much as our own. Ford shows dangerous love in action through examples ranging from his work in the Middle East to a deeply moving story about reconciling with his father. He explains why we disconnect from people at the very time we need to be most connected and the predictable patterns of justification and escalation that ensue. Most importantly, he gives us a path to practice dangerous love in the conflicts that matter most to us.

Wired for Love
Wired for Love

Author: Stan Tatkin

Publisher: New Harbinger Publications

Published: 2024-06-01

Total Pages: 332

ISBN-13: 1648482988

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"Invaluable for so many partners looking to reconnect and grow closer together." —Gwyneth Paltrow, founder and CEO of goop "Stan Tatkin can be entirely followed into the towering infernos of our most painful relationship challenges." —Alanis Morissette, artist, activist, and wholeness advocate The complete “insider’s guide” to understanding your partner’s brain, sparking lasting connection, and enjoying a romantic relationship built on love and trust—now with more than 170,000 copies sold. “What the heck is my partner thinking?” “Why do they always react like this?” “How can we get back that connection we had in the beginning?” If you’ve ever asked yourself these questions, you aren’t alone, and it doesn’t mean that your relationship is doomed. Every person is wired for love differently—with different habits, needs, and reactions to conflict. The good news is that most people’s minds work in predictable ways and respond well to security, attachment, and routines, making it possible to neurologically prime the brain for greater love and connection and fewer conflicts. This go-to guide will show you how. Drawn from neuroscience, attachment theory, and emotion regulation, this highly anticipated second edition of Wired for Love presents cutting-edge research on how and why love lasts, and offers ten guiding principles that can improve any relationship. This fully revised and updated edition also includes new guidance on how to manage disagreements, as well as new exercises to help you create a sense of safety and security, establish healthy conflict ground rules, and deal with the threat of the third—any outside source which threatens the harmony in your relationship, including in-laws, alcohol, children, and affairs. You’ll find proven-effective strategies to help you strengthen your relationship by: Creating and maintaining a safe “couple bubble” Using morning and evening routines to stay connected Learning how to see your partner’s point of view Meeting each other halfway in a fight Becoming the expert on what makes your partner feel loved By using simple gestures and words, you’ll learn to put out emotional fires and help your partner feel appreciated and loved. You’ll also discover how to move past a “warring brain” mentality and toward a more cooperative “loving brain.” Most importantly, you’ll gain a better understanding of the complex dynamics at work behind love and trust in intimate relationships. While there’s no doubt that love is an inexact science, if you understand how you and your partner are wired differently, you can overcome your differences, and create a lasting intimate connection.

The High-Conflict Couple
The High-Conflict Couple

Author: Alan Fruzzetti

Publisher: New Harbinger Publications

Published: 2006-12-03

Total Pages: 194

ISBN-13: 1608824268

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You hear and read a lot about ways to improve your relationship. But if you've tried these without much success, you're not alone. Many highly reactive couples—pairs that are quick to argue, anger, and blame—need more than just the run-of-the-mill relationship advice to solve their problems in love. When destructive emotions are at the heart of problems in your relationship, no amount of effective communication or intimacy building will fix what ails it. If you're part of a "high-conflict" couple, you need to get control of your emotions first, to stop making things worse, and only then work on building a better relationship. The High-Conflict Couple adapts the powerful techniques of dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) into skills you can use to tame out-of-control emotions that flare up in your relationship. Using mindfulness and distress tolerance techniques, you'll learn how to deescalate angry situations before they have a chance to explode into destructive fights. Other approaches will help you disclose your fears, longings, and other vulnerabilities to your partner and validate his or her experiences in return. You'll discover ways to manage problems with negotiation, not conflict, and to find true acceptance and closeness with the person you love the most. This book has been awarded The Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies Self-Help Seal of Merit — an award bestowed on outstanding self-help books that are consistent with cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) principles and that incorporate scientifically tested strategies for overcoming mental health difficulties. Used alone or in conjunction with therapy, our books offer powerful tools readers can use to jump-start changes in their lives.

Conflict in Personal Relationships
Conflict in Personal Relationships

Author: Dudley D. Cahn

Publisher: Routledge

Published: 2013-12-16

Total Pages: 248

ISBN-13: 1135443386

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In keeping with a broad conception of interpersonal conflict, this book is organized into two parts. The first focuses on conflict on different types of couple relationships -- homosexual, cross cultural, dating but violent, engaged, and married -- and group relationships -- student peers, parents and their young children, and adult children and their aging parents. The chapters not only review past research on conflict in some relationships, but also take a significant step forward in introducing a variety of other relationship types for future research on conflict. These chapters also offer evidence that conflict is experienced differently in different types of interpersonal relationships. The second part of this book describes basic underlying principles and programs for dealing with interpersonal conflicts. Chapters in this section discuss patterns of argument in everyday life, issues associated with competence in interpersonal conflict, and mediation as a form of intervention for resolution.

An Intimate War
An Intimate War

Author: Mike Martin

Publisher: Oxford University Press, USA

Published: 2014

Total Pages: 420

ISBN-13: 0199387982

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An Intimate War tells the story of the last thirty-four years of conflict in Helmand Province, Afghani- stan as seen through the eyes of the Helmandis. In the West, this period is often defined through different lenses - the Soviet intervention, the civil war, the Taliban, and the post-2001 nation-building era. Yet, as experienced by local inhabitants, the Helmand conflict is a perennial one, involving the same individuals, families and groups, and driven by the same arguments over land, water and power. This book - based on both military and re- search experience in Helmand and 150 inter- views in Pashto - offers a very different view of Helmand from those in the media. It demonstrates how outsiders have most often misunderstood the ongoing struggle in Helmand and how, in doing so, they have exacerbated the conflict, perpetuated it and made it more violent - precisely the opposite of what was intended when their interventions were launched. Mike Martin's oral history of Helmand under- scores the absolute imperative of understanding the highly local, personal, and non-ideological nature of internal conflict in much of the 'third' world.