The 'Lines For All Occasions' series provides a superb collection of these much needed phrases for all manner of breakup, rejection, excuse, lie, come-on, or insult situations - ranging from the diplomatic to the downright bridge burning.
It's everyone's favorite form of insult comedy (as seen on MTV!) -- hundreds of crushingly funny one-liners about "yo' mama" -- and all yo' other relatives -- sure to shut people's mouths or make them howl with laughter. Yo' mama is so fat, when her beeper goes off, people think she's backing up. Yo' mama is so old that when she was young, rainbows were black and white. Yo' mama is so fat, she eats Wheat Thicks. Yo' mama is so dumb that when she saw a sign that said, "Airport Left," she turned around and went home. Yo' mama's so short you can see her feet on her driver's license. So dumb, so fat, so ugly, and so old have never been SO FUNNY, thanks to this exhaustive and inventive assortment of laugh-out-loud one-line jokes sure to cause a sensation. Hundreds of quotable and easy-to-remember quips have been gathered here by a comedy master, and the result is a relentless collection of wholesome, all-in-good-fun nastiness for every occasion. Divided into handy categories (in case you happen to need a boatload of fat jokes, skinny jokes, or whatever) Yo' Mama Is So . . . is an essential addition to the humor shelf of any self-respecting smart aleck. Hey . . . what did you call my mama??!!
“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.”—Groucho Marx An insult can be offensive and infuriating, but it means nothing if you have a better comeback. 1001 Insults, Put-Downs, and Comebacks gathers together the very sharpest of these barbs from a wide variety of sources, with some of the wickedest put-downs from the literary, political, and entertainment worlds, along with many others.
WELCOME TO THE NEW FULL-COLOR EDITION! We are pleased to inform you that in October 2017 this book was magically refreshed and improved. Please find enclosed a list of all second-edition updates: full-color illustrations, additional pages including "Tricks and Treats for Magical Bullies," and wicked new insults! Got a belligerent bully on your back? Next time your paths cross, say "Every time I see a Dementor, I'm forced to relive our every encounter." Whether you're a N.E.W.T.-level wizard or a wide-eyed witch still awaiting your Hogwarts acceptance letter, you've probably encountered a merciless Malfoy or despicable Dursley who makes your magical blood boil. If you've ever stood speechless as someone called you a talentless squib, a worthless git or a filthy mudblood, The Unofficial Harry Potter Insults Handbook: 101 Comebacks For The Wicked Wizards And Witches In Your Life is the book for you! NOTE: This is a picture book intended for any Harry Potter fan but geared toward younger audiences. This book is NOT affiliated in any way with any other official or unofficial Harry Potter book.
What do Dorothy Parker, Groucho Marx, H. L. Mencken, Oscar Wilde, Robert Benchley, George Bernard Shaw, Jules Feiffer, Bill Hicks, Bill Maher, Phyllis Diller, Édith Piaf, W. C. Fields, Mark Twain, Voltaire, Charles Bukowski, and countless others have in common? Not a thing, other than each was a brilliantly snarky wit and all are included in this compendium of the original snark handbooks. Hear wit, sarcasm, and offhanded comments from: The Snark Handbook: A Reference Guide to Verbal Sparring The Snark Handbook: Insult Edition The Snark Handbook: Sex Edition Snark! The Herald Angels Sing The Snark Handbook: Politics and Government Edition The Snark Handbook: Clichés Edition The Snark Handbook: Parenting Edition Isn’t that enough!?!? A minor literary success (beloved by both minors and miners), the snark handbooks have cemented their position in the literary world, high atop toilet seats everywhere. Now in one great big edition, this lofty tome promises to fulfill the need to chuckle, guffaw, titter, groan, and belly laugh as readers dip in and out of the great minds in literature, comedy, movies, music, and more. Proceed with caution.
Guess what an elevator can do that you guys can't? Raise a family. You need to know a few insults. Sometimes, the best response is a quick retort that should leave your listener speechless. You should be able to say, "Your Mama is so bald, you can read her mind" and end the conversation right there. This book is packed with lots of insults that are suitable for different occasions. Advantages of knowing more insults: 1. Weighs heavier than a punch 2. Might be useful as a president 3. Helps in discovering true friends 4. Great exercise for the mouth The smart people will probably click "Buy Now" and start reading. There, did I insult you? Hope I didn't. Jason S. Jones.
Have you ever been in a situation where you needed to defend yourself, or others, but just didn't have the right words to do so? Of course, a few hours later, when you replay the situation in your mind, the perfect response comes to you. "If I had only said that I would've been a hero!" Yes, we've all been there, and it's a helpless feeling because you know that the moment has passed for good. For all intents and purposes, you lost. In this book, you'll get a full breakdown of the ways to come right back to those individuals who are attempting to cut you down. You'll discover clever ways to instantly dominate any situation where another person is trying to insult you or your friends. You'll quickly become a master of the craft and be able to call upon these comebacks, or come up with your own using this proven formula, at any time. No more regrets, no more shoulda-coulda-wouldas. No more losing. Consider this comeback system as your compass that allows you to navigate the rough terrain we call social class and order. I wrote this book because you needed support from someone who has been there before. Know that I have a personal stake in this and have tapped back into my own childhood and current everyday life to try and understand both sides of this natural phenomenon. The defenseless need defending. The common person needs armor and weapons when it is their time to attack. You are my inspiration for this. Here's how it works: At the top of the page there will be a cut-down, directly below will be a brief insight into the cut-down, and at the bottom, there will be several different comebacks to the cut-down. The following pages will change your life for the better. The time for lying down is over. The time has come for a shift in power. It's time for a new hero-story to be written. Is it your time? Will you be that hero? It is yours for the taking if you are ready. Are you ready?