This book was written by me some years ago, when a prominent publisher from New Delhi gave me this specific topic to write on. However, I did not complete the writing to my own satisfaction. Even today, a huge part of what I had planned to write still remains inside my head.When I recently went through this writing, I found that it is having a lot of readable points. So, I am publishing this book in an as-it-is form. Since it was written for another publisher, with a specific aim, the writing style is slightly different from my current writing style. Moreover, it has a tone of an instructor imparting learning. I must admit that I cannot don the mantle of an instructor or coach in the subject matter that I have dealt with. However a lot of points have been discussed, which the reader may find quite interesting to ponder on.
"In India, there are 650 million people under the age of 35. These are men and women who grew up with the Internet, and the advent of smartphones and social media. But when it comes to love and marriage, they're expected to adhere to thousands of years of tradition. It's that tension between obeying tradition and accepting modernity that drives journalist Mansi Choksi's [book]"--
When you were born you took deep breaths right away. You proceeded to accomplish truly complicated things: you learned to talk and walk and write. Language is complex and daunting and you did it. You already come equipped to be good at many things. The ability to pick them up is part of your original composition. Trust that.
If you’re an Indian woman and old enough to legally bear children, chances are that an overweight relative has asked you, while fondly stroking their pot belly, ‘When am I going to eat at your wedding?’ The modern Indian woman’s attitude to marriage―and especially to arranged marriage―is a confused one. As traditional matchmaking methods and internet chat rooms come together to build matrimonial websites, our parameters have changed, but the time-honoured practice of arranged marriage sticks. Hitched explores in depth the considerations matrimony should involve, and the issues that can crop up at different stages of an arranged marriage. A cross-section of women―those who married young, married late, married the first man their parents parked before them, or married out of caste in an arranged setup―open up about experiences ranging from the frightening to the hilarious and the awww-inspiring.
In 1668 Sarah Ahhaton, a married Native American woman of the Massachusetts Bay town of Punkapoag, confessed in an English court to having committed adultery. For this crime she was tried, found guilty, and publicly whipped and shamed; she contritely promised that if her life were spared, she would return to her husband and "continue faithfull to him during her life yea although hee should beat her againe...."These events, recorded in the court documents of colonial Massachusetts, may appear unexceptional; in fact, they reflect a rapidly changing world. Native American marital relations and domestic lives were anathema to English Christians: elite men frequently took more than one wife, while ordinary people could dissolve their marriages and take new partners with relative ease. Native marriage did not necessarily involve cohabitation, the formation of a new household, or mutual dependence for subsistence. Couples who wished to separate did so without social opprobrium, and when adultery occurred, the blame centered not on the "fallen" woman but on the interloping man. Over time, such practices changed, but the emergence of new types of "Indian marriage" enabled the legal, social, and cultural survival of New England's native peoples. The complex interplay between colonial power and native practice is treated with subtlety and wisdom in Colonial Intimacies. Ann Marie Plane uses travel narratives, missionary tracts, and legal records to reconstruct a previously neglected history. Plane's careful reading of fragmentary sources yields both conclusive and fittingly speculative findings, and her interpretations form an intimate picture, moving and often tragic, of the familial bonds of Native Americans in the first century and a half of European contact.
This book will open a window into a woman’s experiences of moving into a new house, managing office responsibilities and taking care of the love of her life. Marriage doesn’t just change your house and your roommate; it brings about a complete change. It is not simple accepting the new house, new family members and a new life partner. It takes a very big heart and a lot of adjustment. Here are some chapters from the diary of a newlywed Indian woman and her journey, for a year, in her new house.
Hemdeep Singh knows exactly what he wants. With his intelligence and determination, he has what it takes to build his own legacy away from Bharat, Inc. and the empire his father created. But when his brother calls him home, Hem puts his dreams on hold once again to help save the company he walked away from. That’s when he encounters the devastating Mina Kohli in the Bharat boardroom, and he realizes he’s in for more than he had bargained. Mina will do whatever it takes to recover control of her mother’s law firm, even if it means agreeing to an arranged marriage. Her newest case assignment is to assist Bharat in the midst of a potential takeover. It could be the key to finally achieving her goal while preventing her marriage to a man she doesn’t love—as long as her explosive attraction to Hem doesn’t get in the way. As Mina and Hem work to save Bharat, they not only uncover secrets that could threaten the existence of the company, but they also learn that in a winner-takes-all game, love always comes out on top.
The Indian marriage is burning. In this groundbreaking study-the first clinical andcultural portrait of its kind-Shaifali Sandhya explores the intimate lives of middle class Indianhusbands and wives living in India and abroad and looks at what is causing this breakdown.Interviewing countless couples, using current research, and looking deeply at the key areas inrelationships which cause conflict-sex, money, family-she draws a devastating picture of themodern Indian marriage. " 80% of divorces are initiated by women. " 94% of Indian couples say they are happy in their relationships but a majority of themsay they would not marry the same person if they had a chance to replay their lives. " 1/3rd of Indian couples say they are dissatisfied with their sex life. " Most couples call the early years of their marriage the honeymoon years . For Indiancouples they are usually the worst. Hardhitting, eyeopening, and completely riveting, Love will Follow takes you into the hearts andminds of Indian men and women. Full of moving stories, fascinating statistics, and insights, it couldchange the way you see your relationship-and your life.
Winner of the Silver Nautilus Award for Journalism & Investigative Reporting "A book that truly is impossible to put down.”—Washington Post "This remarkable debut is so deeply reported, elegantly written, and profoundly transporting that it reads like a novel you can’t put down. It’s both a nuanced and intimate evocation of Indian culture, and a provocative and exciting meditation on marriage itself."—Katie Roiphe, author of The Violet Hour In the vein of Behind the Beautiful Forevers, an intimate, deeply reported and revelatory examination of love, marriage, and the state of modern India—as witnessed through the lives of three very different couples in today’s Mumbai. In twenty-first-century India, tradition is colliding with Western culture, a clash that touches the lives of everyday Indians from the wealthiest to the poorest. While ethnicity, class, and religion are influencing the nation’s development, so too are pop culture and technology—an uneasy fusion whose impact is most evident in the institution of marriage. The Heart Is a Shifting Sea introduces three couples whose relationships illuminate these sweeping cultural shifts in dramatic ways: Veer and Maya, a forward-thinking professional couple whose union is tested by Maya’s desire for independence; Shahzad and Sabeena, whose desperation for a child becomes entwined with the changing face of Islam; and Ashok and Parvati, whose arranged marriage, made possible by an online matchmaker, blossoms into true love. Though these three middle-class couples are at different stages in their lives and come from diverse religious backgrounds, their stories build on one another to present a layered, nuanced, and fascinating mosaic of the universal challenges, possibilities, and promise of matrimony in its present state. Elizabeth Flock has observed the evolving state of India from inside Mumbai, its largest metropolis. She spent close to a decade getting to know these couples—listening to their stories and living in their homes, where she was privy to countless moments of marital joy, inevitable frustration, dramatic upheaval, and whispered confessions and secrets. The result is a phenomenal feat of reportage that is both an enthralling portrait of a nation in the midst of transition and an unforgettable look at the universal mysteries of love and marriage that connect us all.
"How do you see India? Fuelled by a surge of migration to cities, the country's growth appears to be defined by urbanisation and by its growing, prosperous middle class. It is also defined by progressive and liberal young Indians, who vote beyond the constraints of identity, and paradoxically, by an unchecked population explosion and rising crimes against women. Is it, though? In 2020, the annual population growth was down to under 1 per cent. Only thirty-one of hundred Indians live in a city today and just 5 per cent live outside the city of their birth. As recently as 2016, only 4 per cent of young, married respondents in a survey said their spouse belonged to a different caste group. Over 45 per cent of voters said in a pre-2014 election survey that it was important to them that a candidate of their own caste wins elections in their constituency. A large share of reported sexual assaults across India are actually consensual relationships criminalised by parents. And staggeringly, spending more than Rs 8,500 a month puts you in the top 5 per cent of urban India. Data-journalism pioneer Rukmini S. draws on nearly two decades of on-ground reporting experience to piece together a picture that looks nothing like the one you might expect. There is a mountain of data available on India, but it remains opaque, hard to access and harder yet to read, and it does not inform public conversation. Rukmini marshals this information - some of it never before reported - alongside probing interviews with experts and ordinary citizens, to see what the numbers can tell us about India. As she interrogates how data works, and how the push and pull of social and political forces affect it, she creates a blueprint to understand the changes of the last few years and the ones to come - a toolkit for India."-- dust jacket.
