Better than a cold shower-and a lot funnier. Choke the chicken, spank the monkey, charm the snake-however you refer to it, none of the images in this book will encourage you to pleasure yourself. This deceptively simple and strangely addictive book presents a laugh-out-loud collection of random pictures virtually guaranteed to dampen the urge of even the strongest libido.
A humorous look at what happens when taxidermy goes terribly wrong, by the founder of the hit website crappytaxidermy.com. A relaxed toad enjoying a smoke and a brew. A cat with eerily flexible front legs. A smiling lion with receding gums. Whether you choose to laugh or cringe at these spectacularly bad attempts at taxidermy, you won't be able to tear your eyes away from the curiosities inside. This volume brings together the very best of the worst (along with a DIY "Stuff Your Own Mouse" lesson by an Insect Preparator from the American Museum of Natural History), showcasing the most perverse yet imaginative anatomical reconstructions of the animal kingdom you'll ever see.
How To Masturbate At Your Office And Not Get Caught Hilarious Notebook With Funny Cover That Is Sure To Get Everyone's, Eyes Rolling. This notebook is a great gift idea for your friends, co-worker, staff, and colleagues. Specifications: 6*9 inches 120 high-quality pages premium matte finish cover Suitable as a gift on any occasion
An irreverent lexicon of the seemingly infinite ways we call bullshit, written by a McSweeney's columnist and etymologist, illustrated by a New Yorker-contributing cartoonist. What's the difference between "balderdash" and "drivel"? Where did "mumbo-jumbo" come from? How should you use "meadow mayonnaise"? What's "felgercarb" and which popular TV show coined it? There are hundreds of common and rare terms for bullshit in English, including borrowings from German, turn-of-the-century sailors, The Simpsons, and beyond. Bullshit is everywhere, but not all of it is created equal. Mark Peters's Bullshit: A Lexicon is the handy guide to identifying and calling BS in all of its many forms, from "bunk" and "claptrap" to "applesauce" and "gobbledygook." Packed with historical facts, pop culture tidbits, and definitions for each term, Bullshit is perfect for humor readers, language lovers, and anyone looking to describe life's everyday annoyances.
Whose truth is the lie? Stay up all night reading the sensational psychological thriller that has readers obsessed, from the #1 New York Times bestselling author of Too Late and It Ends With Us. #1 New York Times Bestseller · USA Today Bestseller · Globe and Mail Bestseller · Publishers Weekly Bestseller Lowen Ashleigh is a struggling writer on the brink of financial ruin when she accepts the job offer of a lifetime. Jeremy Crawford, husband of bestselling author Verity Crawford, has hired Lowen to complete the remaining books in a successful series his injured wife is unable to finish. Lowen arrives at the Crawford home, ready to sort through years of Verity’s notes and outlines, hoping to find enough material to get her started. What Lowen doesn’t expect to uncover in the chaotic office is an unfinished autobiography Verity never intended for anyone to read. Page after page of bone-chilling admissions, including Verity's recollection of the night her family was forever altered. Lowen decides to keep the manuscript hidden from Jeremy, knowing its contents could devastate the already grieving father. But as Lowen’s feelings for Jeremy begin to intensify, she recognizes all the ways she could benefit if he were to read his wife’s words. After all, no matter how devoted Jeremy is to his injured wife, a truth this horrifying would make it impossible for him to continue loving her.
"Extreme ironing is the world's newest adrenalin sport--combining the thrill of extreme outdoor activity with the satisfaction of a well-pressed shirt. From its humble beginnings in the English East Midlands city of Leicester in 1997, the sport has gone global, with the first Extreme Ironing World Championships being held in Munich 2002. This is the story of those first five years, written by the sport's founder Phil Shaw--Steam, as he is known by his fellow ironists. Detailing everything you need to know about taking up extreme ironing, the sport's various styles and the world's leading nations, this book also features in-depth coverage of the World Championships and the results of the 2003 Rowenta Trophy, with full-colour action photography throughout"--P. [4] of cover.
From the authors of the breakout best seller All my friends are dead comes a brand-new illustrated compendium of the humorous existential ruminations of people, animals, legendary monsters, and inanimate objects.
Rejected Books is a collection of forty hilariously unrealistic, totally cringe-worthy covers for books that will never, ever be published—from the authors of Images You Should Not Masturbate To Have you ever had a great idea for a book but then thought, “Nobody would ever read that”? Well . . . you’re probably right. But you’re not alone! Enter Rejected Books, a rollicking collection of the best book covers for books that were never meant to be. These awful pitches were turned down for any number of reasons: they’re either too long, too sad, too raunchy, or just plain bad. The compilation of imagined book covers in Rejected Books will have you scratching your head and guffawing with every page turn. Though Pranks with Sausages and Holy Bible II don’t actually exist, Rejected Books offers up a professionally produced series of photos imagining just what these wacky ideas (and plenty more) could look like. Rejected Books includes delightfully weird covers of imagined books like: • The Sculptors Who Couldn’t Do Hands • Cooking with Breast Milk • Possessed Toys: A Buying Guide • Unfortunate Gluing Accidents • Camel Toes Through History Enjoy the worst book pitches of all time and rest assured that anyone can have a future in publishing . . . even if your ideas are totally horrible.
This book presents you 42 awesome reasons not to masturbate too much! It is guaranteed that next time you masturbate, you will think about them!This is the BEST masturbation jokes' book of 2020 and the greatest thing to gift your masturbation addicted friends!!
Featuring an unabashed gingerbread couple who are photographed in unflinching full color, this humorous book is a recipe for pleasure as the "Kama Sutra" meets the "Joy of Cooking."