Celebrate the art of living loud with the sassiest, smartest, hottest gift book From Erin Smith-a hip, irreverent visual artist with a nationally distributed gift line and a unique, pitch-perfect look-comes a mash-up of art, essays, and laugh-out-loud observations designed to find humor in the everyday mundane. Includes hilarious make-your-day quotes like: "The super girl cape is in the laundry...you'll just have to take my word for it." "I'm so damn happy it's like discovering blue cheese olives all over again." "As much as I try to be an easygoing, stretch-your-wings and-fly type, I just can't stop trying to burst people into flames with my mind." ...and many more!
Newly single and ready to embrace life, Lopez was excited to turn 50. He spent his entire 49th year waiting for the calendar to flip to that magic number. But it suddenly hit him: he was old. From dating younger women to fighting the uphill battle of staying in shape, he tells the unabashed, and often hilarious, truth about aging--as only he can.
From one of the most celebrated and beloved comedians and actors of our time, George Lopez, comes this hilarious, touching, and often wacky chronicle of life after fifty. George Lopez just hit the half-century mark and the reset button on his life. Newly single and ready to embrace life, George was excited to turn fifty. It would be a welcome new phase in his life, a chance to say goodbye to a decade that included a kidney transplant and a divorce. But when he looked around a room full of his childhood friends, all gathered to celebrate his birthday, many now bald or overweight, it suddenly hit him that he was old. What happened? And more importantly, what was he going to do about it? George learns the hard way that when you turn 50, everything changes. You pull a muscle in your sleep. You avoid mirrors at all costs, and always, always wear a robe. You have to schedule an appointment to have sex. You have to dye your hair and buy a bathtub with a door. As George learns to embrace life after fifty, he invites readers into his world, sharing the ups and downs of getting older—from his relationship with a much younger woman to a bizarre session with a pet psychic, to a trip behind-the-scenes at his tumultuous two years at Lopez Tonight, to an intimate look at his sacred ground, the golf course—and, for the first time, he reveals in moving detail, the story of the battle for his life against kidney disease. I’m Not Gonna Lie will make you laugh at yourself, cry about yourself, and look at turning fifty in a way you never would’ve imagined—through the eyes of George Lopez.
All-New revelations About Brett Favre Based on interviews with dozens of players and significant team personnel, including owner Woody Johnson, long-time New York Post columnist Steve Serby brings to light juicy new information about Brett Favre's season with the New York Jets. This powerful account reveals: Behind-the-scenes details of the negotiations, including key correspondence, that brought Favre to the Jets Woody Johnson's thoughts on the ineffable appeal of Namath, Favre, and top draft pick Mark Sanchez That Favre kept trying to convince himself that he had made the right decision to play in New York How Favre tried to fit in, but also resisted team rules The pranks Favre would play, even on his coaches How Favre elevated Woody Johnson?s expectations for the team, which ultimately doomed Head Coach Eric Mangini Woody Johnson's admission on why Mangini was fired The tackle that hurt Favre's arm, as described by the player who made it, and how the team didn?t adjust to his weakening arm That Favre, over the last 4-5 weeks of the season, threw the ball sparingly in practice; instead, he often handed off to rest his arm as Kellen Clemens made most of the throws How discarded Jet quarterback Chad Pennington handled his signing with the archrival Miami Dolphins and his final showdown against the man who replaced him with the division title on the line With scores of black-and-white photos and a color insert, No Substitute For Sundays shows why Favre can?t give up the game or give up on himself.
She lost everything once… Autumn Perez was just twenty-two when she witnessed a brutal murder and gave up her entire life to put the killer behind bars. A decade later, witness protection has her settled in picturesque Verona Bay, teaching art at the local high school. It’s a quiet life…until she’s caught up in another harrowing event and she worries that the US Marshals will try to move her again. But Autumn is done running—she’s built a life, has friends. And now she’s pregnant after an intense one-night stand with her sexy neighbor. This time she’s not running… Lincoln Jordan has been biding his time with Autumn, his talented, gorgeous neighbor. The attraction between them is undeniable, and after their one incredible night together he wants more. But she’s determined to keep him at arm’s length. When it becomes clear that someone wants her dead, he steps up to protect her. He needs to earn her trust, and fast. Because the enemy is closer than they ever imagined. Author note: This may be read as a stand-alone novel.
Thirty-six bizarre short stories, poems and plays. The use of the word "home" suggests yearning for home, finding home or escaping from home. A road to normalcy... In a weird way.
After enduring a childhood in poverty with his alcoholic and extremely neglectful father, Jason Schultz is now a grown man suffering from depression. Between his strained relationship with his sister, a job as a cook that he despises, and his overwhelming feelings of hopelessness, he struggles to make it through each day. When he falls in love with a new waitress at his work named Lydia, he imagines a better life with her but believes he can never have her. As his depression escalates, he makes a decision that will dramatically alter the course of his life.
What kind of self-respecting zombie can be stopped with a bullet to the brain? This isn’t your typical, whining little weakling trying to navigate his way through a zombie infested dystopian society. This is the epicenter of the outbreak, where your average novel doesn’t dare venture. This is Noah Britton fighting his way through the heart of the zombie freakin’ apocalypse. The high school is on lockdown but the infection has already invaded its borders. It’s too late. Screams echo through the halls, blood stains the lockers, the dead don’t die for long. Mutilated, half eaten corpses wander the halls in search of the living. These aren’t your normal slow moving corpses that trudge along hoping for victims. No. They run faster. Fight harder. Know no pain. Show no weakness. Offer no reprieve. Noah must make the ultimate sacrifice and decide who to save and who to leave behind. What ranks higher in these desperate times; friendship or strategy? Can old rivals put aside their differences and work together for the greater good or will human emotions lead to the end of the world as we know it? The edge of your seat intensity never dies as Noah, his neurotic bus driver, his best friends, his worst enemies, the girl he likes, the girl he hates or loves or who the hell even knows anymore and a power hungry rival desperate for control all try to co-inhabit a school bus in search of a safe haven that may no longer exist. Gruesome. Intense. Graphic and Brutally violent. Yet emotionally driven with enough heart to sustain a dying species taken off life support. The characters tear themselves from the pages, forcing their way into your heart, demanding you continue when it all gets to be too much. This is hope. This is strength. This is the end. And it’s only the beginning.
Jenner has a fierce, vampiric hunger in him that can never be quenched. But when he meets Bria, so protected and sheltered she's nearly impossible to have, Jenner knows she is his mate. They both must feed on each other in order to satisfy the cravings that burn within them...
