This book is an attempt to present some beginning exposure to the topics and experiences one might find in a program for family and friends of persons with an addiction. One out of three Americans are said to be concerned about some else s harmful use of drugs. Some have no doubt that there is a problem, some are at a dis-ease about the person and have no clear way to think about it.Mostly, people tend to ignore it in the hope that something better will happen. Hope is a wonderful companion and a poor guide.There is no formal life education about effective response or support for the problem. Secrets, shame, innocent ignorance and stigma abound.
In Love and Addiction, published 40 years ago and sold as a mass-market paperback on love, Stanton Peele and Archie Brodsky laid out every major issue confronting the addiction field today. This pioneering classic, which was excerpted in Cosmopolitan and spawned the codependence movement, is the first-and still the definitive-book on addictive love. But it is much more than that; it is the book that explains why addiction is not what we think it is. Love and Addiction focuses on dependent love relationships to explore what both love and addiction really are-psychologically, socially, and culturally. Addiction is an overgrown, dependent, destructive relationship. Love is the opposite, a sharing, growth-inspiring one. The authors' analysis makes clear that an addiction is an experience that takes on meaning and power in light of a person's needs, desires, beliefs, expectations, and fears. By showing how addiction grows out of ordinary human experience, Peele and Brodsky offer a liberating understanding of all addictions-to alcohol, drugs, tobacco, food, gambling, shopping, electronic media, sex, or love. In 1975, Love and Addiction boldly proposed ideas whose truth is only now being recognized: Addiction is not limited to drugs, and drugs are not necessarily addictive. AA's 12 steps are not the last word in addiction treatment. On the contrary, practically oriented addiction treatments are more effective. The goal of addiction treatment and recovery is not abstinence to the exclusion of all else, but to build a life that rules out addiction. Love is the opposite of the self-protective constriction of addiction; it is the expansion of your spirit with another human being. Remarkably, all of these issues-the widespread application of the addiction diagnosis, the limited value of AA and its disease theory, the possibility that people can continue using but still eliminate addiction (harm reduction)-are as hotly debated today as when Peele and Brodsky first analyzed addiction forty years ago. Most remarkably of all, the answers Peele and Brodsky arrived at in Love and Addiction are only now being embraced by progressive thinkers in the field. "Destined to become a classic " Psychology Today proclaimed in 1975. Rereading Love and Addiction 35 years later, addiction researcher Rowdy Yates wrote that the book "still reads absolutely true as an understanding of addictive behavior." Reading today this clairvoyant analysis of the most challenging issues we face in the twenty-first century-the meaning of love and the cure for addiction-you will recognize both the current relevance and enduring value of Love and Addiction, now reissued with a new (2015) Authors' Preface, the Authors' Preface written for the 1991 paperback reissue, and a brief new introduction to each chapter. Otherwise, nothing has been changed in the original book.
"Are you in lov - or addicted? How to know when to call it quits ... and how to find the courage to do it. Are you unable to leave a love relationship even though it gives you more paain than joy? Your judgment and self-respect tell you to end it, but still, to your dismay, you hang on. You are addicted--to a person. Now there is an insightful, step-by-step guide to breaking that addiction--and surviving the split. Drawing on dozens of provocative case histories, psychotherapist Howard Helpern explains to you: why you can get addicted to a person, why and how you may try t deceive yourself ('he really loves me, he just doesn't know how to show it'), how you can recognize the symptoms of a bad relationship, how to deal with the power moves and guilt trips your partner uses to hold you, why strong feelings of jealousy do not mean you are 'in love', how to get through the agonizing breakup period - without going back, how not to get caught in such a painful relationship again."-- Back cover.
Lauren Myracle brings her signature frank, funny, and insightful writing to this novel of a teenage boy’s coming-of-age. Paul Walden is not an alpha lobster, the hypermasculine crustacean king who intimidates the other male lobsters, beds all the lady lobsters, and “wins” at life. At least not according to the ego-bursting feedback he’s given in his freshman seminar. But Paul finds a funny, faithful friend in Roby Smalls, and maybe — oh god, please — he’s beginning to catch the interest of smart, beautiful Natalia Gutierrez. Cruising through high school as a sauced-out, rap-loving beta lobster suits Paul fine, and if life ever gets him down? Smoke a little weed, crunch a few pills . . . it’s all good. But in the treacherous currents of teenage culture, it’s easy to get pulled under. With perfect frankness, Lauren Myracle lays bare the life of one boy as he navigates friendship, love, loss, and addiction. It’s life at its most ordinary and most unforgettable.
"Prodependence," a new psychological term created by Robert Weiss to describe healthy interdependence in the modern world, turns this around. Rather that preaching detachment and distance over continued bonding and assistance, as so many therapists, self-help books, and 12-step groups currently do, prodependence celebrates the human need for and pursuit of intimate connection, viewing this as a positive force for change. Simply stated, prodependence occurs when attachment relationships are mutually beneficial--with one person's strengths filling in the weak points of the other, and vice versa. And this can occur even when an addiction is present
How to stop drinking, stay stopped, and develop emotional skills for a life of excitement and connection ... without the hangover. “No thanks—I’m not drinking tonight.” In a culture that equates alcohol with enjoyment and social acceptance, making this simple statement can make us feel like we’re depriving or even punishing ourselves. “When we realize we don’t want to drink anymore or can no longer drink safely, it can feel like the only choices are to spiral out of control or embrace a joyless life,” says psychotherapist and sobriety expert Veronica Valli. “But it’s not true! Sobriety can be a path filled with fun, excitement, belonging, relaxation, and romance.” Soberful offers a practical and straightforward program on how to get sober and stay sober by increasing your self-worth, energy, and participation in life. Valli begins by debunking widespread beliefs about alcohol and sobriety, including the illusion that alcohol itself is the problem. Then she takes you into the heart of her method for building an alcohol-free life that works—the Five Pillars of Sustainable Sobriety: • Movement—Taking care of your body for physical and emotional health • Connection—Using self-compassion as a foundation for creating healthy and authentic relationships • Balance—Learning how to disarm the triggers that make you want to drink • Process—Validating, honoring, and accepting the past to move forward into the future • Growth—How to keep changing, keep learning, and keep choosing to stay sober throughout the journey of your life “When we change how we experience the world, we can stop trying to escape our feelings with alcohol,” Valli says. As a leader and pioneer in the field with 21 years of sobriety, Valli now shares the same steps that worked for her and her clients. Written with gentle humor and compassion, Soberful provides a road map to a life beyond drinking—one that is expansive, fulfilling, and joyously free.
Rosemary O’Connor brings her many years of experience working with women in recovery to addressing the key life issues mothers face at all stages of their recovery path. Rosemary O’Connor brings her many years of experience working with women in recovery to addressing the key life issues mothers face at all stages of their recovery path. Recovering from an addiction is tough enough, but when you throw in the tremendous responsibilities of motherhood, resisting cravings and remaining abstinent—much less enjoying the rewards of sobriety—can seem like an impossible challenge. Rosemary O’Connor brings her many years of experience working with women in recovery to addressing the key life issues mothers face at all stages of their recovery path. At once affirming, engaging, and practical, A Sober Mom’s Guide to Recovery combines down-to-earth advice with the inspiring stories of recovering moms, including the author’s, to offer guidance on over fifty vital topics, including stress, relapse, relationships, sex and intimacy, spirituality, shame, gratitude, dating, and, of course, parenting. The result is an inspirational and practical handbook, not just for getting through the day, but for building a sense of well-being that radiates outward, allowing you to be present with your kids and loved ones, and find hope for the future.
Severing a cherished relationship is one of the most painful experiences in life—and cutting those emotional ties to a loved one can feel almost like ending an addiction. Up till now, people recovering from other problems were able to get real help—like AA and rehab—while those struggling in the aftermath of traumatic breaks dealt with platitudes and friends insisting they should "get over it already." But now Exaholics Anonymous treats getting over an ex like kicking a chemical habit. Written by counselor and therapist Dr. Lisa Bobby, Exaholics offers meaningful support and advice to anyone trapped in the obsessive pain of a broken, or dying, attachment. She helps the brokenhearted heal, showing them, on a deep level, how to develop a conceptual framework for their experience, understand the emotional processes at work inside themselves, find the path to recovery, and free themselves of shame, injured ego, and remorse. In-depth case studies of others' journeys will illuminate the way to future happiness.
Love addiction manifests in many forms, from Fatal Attraction-type obsessive lust to less extreme but nonetheless psychologically and emotionally harmful forms. The most common of these is staying in a bad relationship because of a fear of being alone-the "I hate you but don't leave me" relationship. In ADDICTION TO LOVE, recovering love addict Susan Peabody explains the variety of ways this disorder plays out, from the obsessively doting love addict to the addict who can't disentangle from an unfulfilling, dead-end relationship. Peabody provides an in-depth and easy-to-follow recovery program for those suffering from this unhealthy and often dangerous addiction and explains how to create a loving, safe, and fulfilling relationship. • A seminal work on unhealthy and obsessive behaviors in love, and how to change behavior to have a positive relationship. This third edition includes a new introduction and revisions to the text throughout. • Some symptoms of love addiction include love at first sight, excessive fantasizing, abnormal jealousy, nagging, and accepting dishonesty. • Even relationships with parents, children, siblings, or friends may be addictive-dependency is not always related to romantic love. • Previous editions have sold more than 40,000 copies. "Love addiction is a three-headed serpent that Susan Peabody adeptly slays. This is the quintessential book for any love addict or counselor needing to fully understand this highly prevalent and complex disorder. Susan detects and dissects aspects of this condition not comprehended in other books of its kind. Recovery is possible. This book makes it possible to take the succinct steps necessary toward a loving and reciprocal long-term intimate relationship." —Sudi Scull, M.F.T., C.N., psychotherapist and nutritionist
Most dating books tell you what NOT to do. Here's a book dedicated to telling you what you CAN do. In his book, Get the Guy, Matthew Hussey—relationship expert, matchmaker, and star of the reality show Ready for Love—reveals the secrets of the male mind and the fundamentals of dating and mating for a proven, revolutionary approach to help women to find lasting love. Matthew Hussey has coached thousands of high-powered CEOs, showing them how to develop confidence and build relationships that translate into professional success. Many of Matthew’s male clients pressed him for advice on how to apply his winning strategies not to just get the job, but how to get the girl. As his reputation grew, Hussey was approached by more and more women, eager to hear what he had learned about the male perspective on love and romance. From landing a first date to establishing emotional intimacy, playful flirtation to red-hot bedroom tips, Matthew’s insightfulness, irreverence, and warmth makes Get the Guy: Learn Secrets of the Male Mind to Find the Man You Want and the Love You Deserve a one-of-a-kind relationship guide and the handbook for every woman who wants to get the guy she’s been waiting for.
