And Oberlin offer a clear definition of passive-aggression and show readers not only how to end the behavior, but also how to avoid falling victim to other people's hidden anger.
Guidance for dealing with this common and frustrating form of behavior. Many people often say “yes” to something when they’d rather say “no.” They offer cooperation through words but follow up with how they really feel—in actions that contradict their words. That’s passive-aggression. At its heart, passive-aggression is about being untrue to oneself, which makes it impossible to have a clean relationship with others. Passive-aggression as a communication method doesn’t make someone “bad.” It is simply a strategy learned in childhood as a coping mechanism, a hard-to-break habit. Changing passive-aggressive behavior requires knowledge, tools, and practice, as outlined here. The book offers effective methods for transforming passive-aggression into healthy assertiveness to communicate in constructive ways through eight keys: Recognize Your Hidden Anger; Reconnect Your Emotions to Your Thoughts; Listen to Your Body; Set Healthy Boundaries; Communicate Assertively; Interact Using Mindfulness; Disable the Enabler; and Problem-Solve for Better Outcomes. Hands-on exercises are featured, enabling readers to better understand themselves.
Stand up and be heard! With more than 100,000 copies sold, this fully revised and updated self-help classic by psychologist Randy J. Paterson—author of How to Be Miserable—will help you get started today. Do you feel uncomfortable in situations where you disagree with others? Do you struggle to express your opinions or assert your boundaries? If you’ve ever felt paralyzed by confrontation, or have bitten your tongue rather than offer an opposing point of view, you know that a lack of assertiveness can leave you feeling marginalized and powerless. Assertiveness is a critical skill that not only influences your professional success, but also your personal happiness! So, how can you make sure your voice is heard? The Assertiveness Workbook contains powerfully effective skills grounded in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to help you communicate more effectively, improve social interactions, and express yourself with confidence and clarity. You’ll learn how to set and maintain personal boundaries while staying connected, and discover ways to be more genuine and open in your relationships. Finally, you’ll learn to defend yourself calmly if you’re unfairly criticized or asked to submit to unreasonable requests. Fully revised and updated—this new edition includes information on the impact of social media, mini-dialogs to help you navigate tricky social interactions, and skills to shift your behaviors to be more assertive—so you can improve your communication skills, and your life!
With more than 100,000 copies in print, Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man draws on case histories from clinical psychologist Scott Wetzler’s practice to help you identify the destructive behavior, the root causes and motivations, and solutions. Do you know one of these men? The catch-me-if-you-can lover... Phil’s romantic and passionate one minute, distant and cold the next. The deviously manipulative coworker or boss... Jack denies resenting Nora’s rapid rise in the company, but when they’re assigned to work together on a project, he undermines her. The obstructionist, procrastinating husband... Bob keeps telling his wife he’ll finish the painting job he began years ago, but he never seems to get around to it. These are all classic examples of the passive-aggressive man. This personality syndrome—in which hostility wears a mask of passivity—is currently the number one source of men’s problems in relationships and on the job. In Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man, Scott Wetzler draws upon numerous case histories from his own practice to explain how and why the passive-aggressive man thinks, feels, and acts the way he does. Dr. Wetzler also offers advice on: • How to avoid playing victim, manager, or rescuer to the “P-A” • How to get his anger and fear into the open • How to help the “P-A” become a better lover, husband, and father • How to survive passive-aggressive game playing on the job Living with a man’s passive aggression can be an emotional seesaw ride. But armed with this book, you can avoid the bumpy landings.
Break Free From Over-Functioning, Over-Delivering, People-Pleasing, and Ignoring Your Own Needs So You Can Finally Live the Life You Deserve! Most of us were never taught how to effectively express our preferences, desires or deal-breakers. Instead, we hide our feelings behind passive-aggressive behavior, deny our own truths, or push our emotions down until we get depressed or so frustrated that we explode, potentially destroying hard-won trust and relationships. The most successful and satisfied people on the planet have one thing in common: the ability to create and communicate clear, healthy boundaries. This ability is, hands down, the biggest game changer when it comes to creating a healthy, happy, self-determined life. In Boundary Boss, psychotherapist Terri Cole reveals a specific set of skills that can help you stop abandoning yourself for the sake of others (without guilt or drama) and get empowered to consciously take control of every aspect of your emotional, spiritual, physical, personal, and professional life. Since becoming a Boundary Boss is a process, Cole also offers actionable strategies, scripts, and techniques that can be used in the moment, whenever you need them. You will learn: • How to recognize when your boundaries have been violated and what to do next • How your unique “Boundary Blueprint” is unconsciously driving your boundary behaviors, and strategies to redesign it • Powerful boundary scripts so in the moment you will know what to say • How to manage “Boundary Destroyers”—including emotional manipulators, narcissists, and other toxic personalities • Where you fall on the spectrum of codependency and how to create healthy, balanced relationships This book is for women who are exhausted from over-giving, overdoing, and even over-feeling. If you’re getting it all done but at the expense of yourself, give yourself the gift of Boundary Boss.
How to release anger and reconnect to yourself using mindfulness techniques. Anger is one the most common human emotions, so if you’re not feeling it, then you’re probably unconsciously burying it. But anger that is buried isn’t actually gone. In fact, hidden or covert anger may be just as damaging as the overt, outwardly destructive kind, only it wreaks havoc from the inside-out. All sorts of physical and emotional problems can stem from suppressed anger: headaches, digestive problems, insomnia, just to name a few. Buried anger is expressed in a continuum, with rage and aggression at the top, and frustration, annoyance, irritation at the bottom, and everything in between. Unless this anger is addressed, it is impossible to overcome. This book urges readers to practice mindfulness-deliberately allowing physical sensations and emotions to surface so they can be examined and released. This sort of processing of anger-fully felt in the body as it happens, moved out through appropriate expression, and let go-will allow readers to process anger before it becomes unhealthy. Whether for you or your clients, this book offers simple tools of mindfulness to strengthen your connection with your inner world and learn to explore your anger, paying heed to the important messages it is sending.
Children often struggle to cope with anger, and angry feelings can boil over into aggression and destructive behaviour. This resource takes a different approach to anger, teaching children how to be angry effectively, rather than telling them not to be angry at all. This group program provides step-by-step guidelines for building anger management and assertive emotional expression skills through tailored lessons, group activities and thought-provoking discussions. Participants will learn specific skills such as: · Using I-Statements · Standing Up to Bullies · Disagreeing without Arguing · Making and Refusing Requests · Responding to Anger · Finding Win—Win Solutions Suitable for use with children and teenagers aged 5 - 18, this engaging resource will help children to overcome self-destructive patterns of passive, aggressive, and passive aggressive behaviour. It will be of great use to educators, counselors, social workers, youth care professionals, psychologists and parents.
Has your relationship become a battlefield? Does your partner's sarcasm, irritability, or hostility make you wonder where the closeness and trust have gone—and how much more you can take? If anger is poisoning your relationship, this book offers a powerful antidote. Anger expert W. Robert Nay provides clear-cut, practical techniques for responding productively to inappropriate expressions of anger. Learn how anger gains a foothold in a couple's life, why your usual responses may unwittingly reward bad behavior, and how to stand up for yourself in ways that promote lasting change. Self-quizzes and step-by-step suggestions for dealing with different types of angry behavior are illustrated with true-to-life examples. Grounded in psychological science, the strategies in this book are simple yet surprisingly effective. Try them for yourself—and for the person you love. See also Dr. Nay's Taking Charge of Anger, Second Edition, which helps you understand and manage destructive anger in all its forms, and The Anger Management Workbook: Use the STOP Method to Replace Destructive Responses with Constructive Behavior, which builds core anger management skills using interactive exercises.
NEW & REVISED SECOND EDITION! How bad is your anger? Do you control it, or does it control you? Has it wrecked your life, or does it hurt the lives of others? This book is informative, interactive and insightful in helping people identify their “anger type(s)”, their triggers, and providing proven anger management tools that will work best for helping people overcome self-destructive anger patterns and behaviors. Furthermore, it will engage readers in helping those who possess “millennial anger types” provoked by texting habits, online social media and online dating. This book has been used in anger management support groups, colleges, private companies and employee assistance programs with tremendous success. It has been published on 4 continents, and used by thousands of people, who have applied the principles and changed their lives for the better!
“Opens doors to richer, more connected relationships by naming the elephant in the room ‘Childhood Emotional Neglect’” (Harville Hendrix, PhD & Helen Lakelly Hunt, PhD, authors of the New York Times bestseller Getting the Love You Want). Since the publication of Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect, many thousands of people have learned that invisible Childhood Emotional Neglect, or CEN, has been weighing on them their entire lives, and are now in the process of recovery. Running on Empty No More: Transform Your Relationships will offer even more solutions for the effects of CEN on people’s lives: how to talk about CEN, and heal it, in relationships with partners, parents, and children. “Filled with examples of well-meaning people struggling in their relationships, Jonice Webb not only illustrates what’s missing between adults and their parents, husbands, and their wives, and parents and their children; she also explains exactly what to do about it.” —Terry Real, internationally recognized family therapist, speaker and author, Good Morning America, The Today Show, 20/20, Oprah, and The New York Times “You will find practical solutions for everyday life to heal yourself and your relationships. This is a terrific new resource that I will be recommending to many clients now and in the future!” —Dr. Karyl McBride, author of Will I Ever Be Good Enough?