How to Not Be a Complete Twat: A Guide to Unlearning Dumb Behavior Are you the problem? Maybe. Is it time to fix that? Absolutely. Whether you bought this book out of self-awareness or someone “gifted” it to you (yikes), you’re here, and that’s the first step to a better you. How to Not Be a Complete Twat is the hilarious, no-nonsense guide you didn’t know you needed, but your friends probably did. Packed with brutally honest lessons and laugh-out-loud advice, this book will take you on a journey of self-discovery—mainly discovering how to stop being that person. From learning how to shut up at the right moments, to realizing the universe isn’t out to get you (really, it’s not), this book covers it all. You'll find tips, tricks, and daily exercises to help you live a twat-free life—while still keeping your personality intact. Perfect for fans of self-help humor, social skills improvement, and anyone ready to stop making every little thing about themselves. By the time you’re done, you’ll be the person people actually want to invite to brunch. Maybe. Ready to start your twat-free transformation? Click ‘Buy Now’ and become the best (and least annoying) version of yourself!
Do you think the world is going to shit? And that manners are being thrown out the window? And that common sense and common courtesy are becoming uncommon? And that you are now dealing with idiots that bit too often? You are not alone. We are all collectively treating each other worse than ever before. We talk to each other like dickheads. We drive like wankers. We leave piss on the toilet seat. We shake hands as if they’ve turned into floppy fish. We treat money as the be-all and end-all. Yann thinks this is down to us slowly losing touch with our own humanity. In other words, we care more about ourselves than the person next to us. Sure, capitalism and technology are partly to blame. But at the end of the day, if we don’t start treating each other a little better, we’re all truly fucked. There’s no way in hell we’ll be able to work together long enough to resolve the catastrophic problems coming our way. To that end, ‘don’t be stupid, idiot’ is chock full of 120+ hilarious, sweary, sarcastic, hard-hitting rants about everyday things that everyday idiots do, with quasi-serious, tongue in cheek exercises to help idiots be less idiotic. Each rant also has a QR code or link to share with that idiot of a friend who needs to read it! Rants include: Queue cutting Cancel culture Buying rounds Splitting the bill Holding the door open Ignoring reserved seating Treating pets as humans Tailgating Reclining plane seats Taking the mick Conspiracy theorists & many more! No one is innocent of being an idiot, including you. It is impossible to read this book and not realise at least one or two ways in which you’ve started to not give a shit about your fellow human. Yann hopes that, instead of being a little bitch about it, you’ll use all the reality checks you’ll receive to become a better person who is more aware of how their actions affect others. Entertainment: Guaranteed Fucks Given: Zero Legitimate Reviews “Brilliant!! But it can’t go on our best seller’s list because most of our readers are idiots” – Some shit newspaper “Bought for my idiot friend. Was a prick, still is but at least he knows it now!!” – An idiot “The perfect stupid gift for my boyfriend/husband/dad/brother!! They can be a right wanker!” – Wanker-loving idiot Get the book now, you muppet. Yann doesn’t care whether you buy it as a Secret Santa piss-take for colleagues, a really stupid gift for Christmas, a birthday present for people you don't like, for bloody Mother’s and Father’s day, or just because you like books taking the mick. Just buy the thing and start your journey towards being less of a prick. Still don’t know if ‘don’t be stupid, idiot’ is for you? If you enjoyed Mark Manson’s, ‘The subtle art of not giving a f*ck’, Laura Clery’s, ‘Idiots’, Thomas Erikson’s, ‘Surrounded by idiots’ or Karl Pilkington’s, ‘An idiot abroad’, you’ll love this! You’ll also feel right at home if you relate to the logic and pull no punches style of outspoken people like Ricky Gervais, Jeremy Clarkson, Piers Morgan and James Haskell.
All The Tw*ts I Met Along The Way tells the tales of crappy boyfriends, sickening sexual encounters, manipulative men, love triangles, unsupportive and unsupported medical diagnoses... and that's just in the first few pages.
Have you ever tried to sustain a relationship with a twat? It's hard work and you need to be completely not a twat yourself if you want any success in this. Which is really hard when you've just started being a teenager. (As if growing up wasn't hard enough already...) I remember thinking if you were 'the chosen' one, why does that mean your dress sense has to be so shit? A celebration of teenage rebellion and resilience. Anoushka Warden's debut play was directed by Royal Court Artistic Director Vicky Featherstone and Jude Christian.
Sensibly categorised and filled with observations and recommendations, this is the ultimate field guide to that most irritating of the species, the Twat.
The Holidays Can’t Get Much More Perfect! Singer, Natalie Bright, sings for her supper, and for her grandmother’s supper too. With bills to pay and her grandmother’s illness to fight, life takes all the energy she has and then some. Love is something she tried once in her twenties and it didn’t work out. Natalie’s never stopped believing in Santa, but she’s not very hopeful when it comes to finding love. Several years ago Dr. Jet Rahman lost the love of his life who was also his best friend. Now his work fills the empty space inside him, and what’s left goes to his five-year-old daughter. Does he believe he can find love again? He certainly believes starting over is possible when you find someone who’s a good match for you. He and Natalie though? Well, they’re not a totally brilliant idea, but kissing her makes him more hopeful than he’s been in a very long time.
On the run from her abusive father, fifteen-year-old Edie Fraser and her mother flee to London, England for a fresh start. But one day, Edie’s mom doesn’t come home from work. Afraid to phone the police and risk being returned to her father, Edie begins a desperate search for her mother, and finds an unlikely ally along the way.
When the Sex Pistols swore live on tea-time telly in 1976, there was outrage across Britain. Headlines screamed. Christians marched. TVs were kicked in. Thirty years on, all those words are media-mainstream - bandied about with impunity on TV and in the papers. This is the story of our bad language and its three-decade journey from the fringes of decency to the working centre of a more linguistically liberal nation. Silverton takes a clear, comprehensive and witty look at swearing and the impact of its new acceptability on our language, our manners and our society. He considers how we have become more openly emotional, yet more wary about insulting others. And how it's seemingly become alright to say **** and **** but not ****** or ****. This is the story of that cultural revolution, written by one who was there at the start, proudly striking some of the first blows in the long struggle for the right to reclaim filthy English and use it.
Love her or hate her, Katie Hopkins is impossible to ignore, and this hilarious and revealing new book – part memoir, part handbook for the modern woman – is much the same. Laughing through the chapters of her life, she shares her disasters, her biggest disappointments and the time she had to ring her super sensible boss to say she was on the front pages of the tabloids for having sex in a field. From being kicked out of the army for being epileptic, to firing Lord Sugar; from her first husband leaving her in the maternity ward for the big-boobed secretary, to the reality behind Celebrity Big Brother, she has plenty of surprises to share and lessons she thinks we should learn. Readers be warned, however! Katie doesn't sugar-coat anything, and neither does she hold back, making her as honest in her book as she is in life. But this book is an introduction to a quieter Katie too, one people seldom see. She takes us beyond her front door and into the privacy of her home, writing as a mum of three, sharing things even she feels awkward saying.
