In this book, the preeminent child psychologist of our time gives us the results of his lifelong effort to determine what is most crucial in successful child-rearing. His purpose is not to give parents preset rules for raising their children, but rather to show them how to develop their own insights so that they will understand their own and their children's behavior in different situations and how to cope with it. Above all, he warns, parents must not indulge their impulse to try to create the child they would like to have, but should instead help each child fully develop into the person he or she would like to be.
"Good Enough Parenting" combines principles from schema therapy and the latest research with the Louis' experiences as therapists, community leaders and parents to provide a thorough, practical, easy-to-read and well-reasoned guide. "Good Enough Parenting" introduces "Core Emotional Needs" and explains why meeting them is absolutely crucial for raising emotionally healthy children. Parents will gain insights into their own issues and learn how to avoid "Exasperation Interactions" as well as how to "Repair" after a conflict and Reconnect" with teenagers and adult children.
In an ideal world, mothers would have time to hand-sew their kids' costumes for the school play, prepare all-organic meals, and volunteer in the classroom at the drop of a hat. In reality, most moms have to settle for plopping their little ones in front of SpongeBob so that they can prepare yet another chicken nugget-based dinner, guiltily convinced they're falling down on the job. In Good-Enough Mother, René Syler pulls back the curtain to reveal the truth about modern mothering and reassure time-stressed moms that even if their children are strangers to made-from-scratch cookies, they can emerge as happy, well-adjusted, fully functioning members of society. Mother to two great kids of her own, Syler explains how she learned to chuck perfection for practicality -- in short, how she became a Good-Enough Mother. She shows other women seeking to balance family, work, and some semblance of a personal life how to happily join the ranks of Good-Enough Mothers, who occasionally serve breakfast for dinner yet give their children plenty of what really matters -- love, time, and support. Each essay provides welcome empathy and sage advice on navigating life's different obstacles, whether it's dealing with annoying Supermoms, bluffing through a third grader's math homework, or coping with the words that strike terror into every parent's heart ("Your son's teacher on line one"). Offering real wisdom tempered with humor and warmth, Good-Enough Mother will have every modern mom laughing in relief and recognition.
Raising a child to be an authentic and mentally robust adult is one of life’s great challenges. It is also, fortunately, not a matter of luck. There are many things to understand about how children’s minds operate and what they need from those who look after them so they can develop into the best version of themselves. The Good Enough Parent is a compendium of lessons, including ideas on how to say ‘no’ to a child one adores, how to look beneath the surface of ‘bad’ behaviour to work out what might really be going on, how to encourage a child to be genuinely kind, how to encourage open self expression, and how to handle the moods and gloom of adolescence. Importantly, this is a book that knows that perfection is not required – and could indeed be unhelpful, because a key job of any parent is to induct a child gently into the imperfect nature of everything. Written in a tone that is encouraging, wry and soaked in years of experience, The Good Enough Parent is an intelligent guide to raising a child who will one day look back on their childhood with just the right mixture of gratitude, humour and love.
A psychologist who evaluates the fitness of parents when their children have been removed from their custody finds herself reassessing her own mothering when her son falls victim to the opioid crisis. Psychologist and expert witness Dr. Sharon Lamb evaluates parents, particularly in high-stakes cases concerning the termination of parental rights. The conclusions she reaches can mean that some children are returned home from foster homes. Others are freed for adoption. Well-trained, Lamb generally can decide what’s in the best interests of the child. But when her son’s struggle with opioid addiction comes to light, she starts to doubt her right to make judgments about other mothers. As an expert, a professor, and a mother, Lamb gives voice to the near impossible standards demanded by a society prone to blame mothers when anything befalls their children. She describes vividly the plight of individual parents, mothers in particular, struggling with addiction and mental illness and trying to make stable homes for their kids amid the economic and emotional turmoil of their lives—all in the context of the opioid epidemic that has ravaged her home state of Vermont. In her office, during visits with their children, and in the family court, the parents we meet wait anxiously for Lamb’s verdict: Have they turned their lives around under child welfare’s watchful eye? Do they understand their children’s needs? In short, are they good enough? But what is good enough? Lamb turns that question on herself in the midst of her gradual realization of her son’s opioid addiction. Amazed at her own denial, feeling powerless to help him, Lamb confronts the heartache she can bring into the lives of others and her power to tear families apart.
You diligently attended every prenatal course. You bought a food processor so you could puree your own baby food. You spent months fantasizing about the perfect baby, and imagining the kind of parent you would be. And then the real baby arrived. And it all went to shit.If you are the kind of person who did manage to puree your own baby food while keeping up with laundry and naps without once crouching on the floor of the shower and screaming silently into your hands, then you probably don't need to read this book. This is a parenting book for the rest of us. Michelle Kaye is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and an expert in Infant Mental Health. She's also a mother of two who swears in front of her children far more often than she wants to admit.Better Than Good Enough is a parenting book to get you through the first six years of your child's life. It is based on personal experiences, the experiences of clients and friends, and the best evidence-based practices in the world of infant mental health. This book offers concrete suggestions on what you can do to be better, and also why "being better" is so goddamn hard.
More than 100,000 copies sold “Without rival, the best book on broken sexuality I have ever read.” —Dan B. Allender, PhD Many of us feel ashamed and undesirable after years of sexual brokenness and addiction. The guilt and stigma surrounding sexual struggles can paralyze us and keep us from seeking help and healing. Author Jay Stringer approaches these sensitive subjects with gentleness and understanding. Based on original research from over 3,800 men and women, Unwanted is a groundbreaking resource that explores the “why” behind self-destructive sexual choices in order to help readers work towards freedom. Addressing difficult issues with compassionate insight, this book discusses: Abandonment and broken relationships Trauma and sexual abuse The sex industry and pornography Violence against women Learning to love and care for yourself Healthy conflict and repair in your relationships Investing in community Creating healthy boundaries A perfect resource for those seeking self-help or those working to minister to the sexually broken people around them, Unwanted offers life-changing, practical guidance rooted in clinical evidence to light the way on a path to wholeness. “If you’re hungry for deep healing or searching for practical ways to help others heal . . . this will be an incredibly sharp tool in your tool belt!” —Shannon Ethridge, MA, author of Every Woman’s Battle “Unwanted demonstrates a depth of insight and wisdom that I found stunning! It will truly help many come out of their shame and finally be free.” —Dr. Ted Roberts, cofounder of Pure Desire Ministries “Unwanted is a courageous, insightful work that will undoubtedly equip many on the journey to freedom.” —Dr. Juli Slattery, cofounder of Authentic Intimacy and author of Rethinking Sexuality
The first book specifically for daughters suffering from the emotional abuse of selfish, self-involved mothers,Will I Ever Be Good Enough?provides the expert assistance you need in order to overcome this debilitating history and reclaim your life for yourself. Drawing on over two decades of experience as a therapist specializing in women's psychology and health, psychotherapist Dr. Karyl McBride helpsyou recognize the widespread effects of this maternal emotional abuse and guides you as you create an individualized program for self-protection, resolution, and complete recovery.An estimated 1.5 million American women have narcissistic personality disorder, which makes them so insecure and overbearing, insensitive and domineering that they can psychologically damage their daughters for life. Daughters of narcissistic mothers learn that maternal love is not unconditional, and that it is given only when they behave in accordance with their mothers' often unreasonable expectations and whims. As adults, these daughters consequently have difficulty overcoming their insecurities and feelings of inadequacy, disappointment, sadness, and emotional emptiness. They may also have a terrible fear of abandonment that leads them to form unhealthy love relationships, as well as a tendency to perfectionism and unrelenting self-criticism, or to self-sabotage and frustration.Herself the recovering daughter of a narcissistic mother, Dr. McBride includes her personal struggle, which adds a profound level of authority to her work, along with the perspectives of the hundreds of suffering daughters she's interviewed over the years. Their stories of how maternal abuse has manifested in their lives -- as well as how they have successfully overcome its effects -- show you that you're not alone and that you can take back your life and have the controlyouwant.Dr. McBride's step-by-step program will enable you to:(1) Recognize your own experience with maternal narcissism and its effects on all aspects of your life (2) Discover how you have internalized verbal and nonverbal messages from your mother and how these have translated into a strong desire to overachieve or a tendency to self-sabotage (3) Construct a step-by-step program to reclaim your life and enhance your sense of self, a process that includes creating a psychological separation from your mother and breaking the legacy of abuse. You will also learn how not to repeat your mother's mistakes with your own daughter.Warm and sympathetic, filled with the examples of women who have established healthy boundaries with their hurtful mothers,Will I Ever Be Good Enough?encourages and inspires you as it aids your recovery.
A leading expert in childhood development makes the case for why self-directed learning -- "unschooling" -- is the best way to get kids to learn. In Free to Learn, developmental psychologist Peter Gray argues that in order to foster children who will thrive in today's constantly changing world, we must entrust them to steer their own learning and development. Drawing on evidence from anthropology, psychology, and history, he demonstrates that free play is the primary means by which children learn to control their lives, solve problems, get along with peers, and become emotionally resilient. A brave, counterintuitive proposal for freeing our children from the shackles of the curiosity-killing institution we call school, Free to Learn suggests that it's time to stop asking what's wrong with our children, and start asking what's wrong with the system. It shows how we can act—both as parents and as members of society—to improve children's lives and to promote their happiness and learning.
Winnicott is concerned with the springs of imaginative living and of cultural experience in every sense, with whatever determines an individual's capacity to live creatively and to find life worth living.
