With frank honesty, False Intimacy offers realistic direction to those whose lives or ministries have been impacted by sexual addiction while examining the roots behind these behaviors. This compelling book examines different aspects of sexual addiction, including shame, purity, and forgiveness, while exploring one’s true identity and God-given sexuality.
For decades, doctors have identified an inability to foster intimacy - both physical and emotional - as a key factor in everything from unsuccessful marriages to difficult personal relationships. But for those struggling with this hidden problem, therapy and dense texts have been the only answers. The Complete Idiot's Guide to Intimacyprovides a beacon for those looking for clear, understandable answers. Dr. Paul Coleman, a practicing psychologist, specializes in helping both couples and individuals work through the issues that keep them from having lasting relationships, intimate friendships, and happy families. Dr. Coleman gives readers step-by-step answers and a clear path to making changes by helping them to identify intimacy problems, understand key differences between men and women, change perceptions, overcome arguments, and effectively communicate. He also covers sexual intimacy and affection issues including intimacy during stressful times, transitions, and as relationships progress.
Pornography is powerful. Our contemporary culture as been pornified, and it shapes our assumptions about identity, sexuality, the value of women and the nature of relationships. Countless Christian men struggle with the addictive power of porn. But common spiritual approaches of more prayer and accountability groups are often of limited help. In this book neuroscientist and researcher William Struthers explains how pornography affects the male brain and what we can do about it. Because we are embodied beings, viewing pornography changes how the brain works, how we form memories and make attachments. By better understanding the biological realities of our sexual development, we can cultivate healthier sexual perspectives and interpersonal relationships. Struthers exposes false assumptions and casts a vision for a redeemed masculinity, showing how our sexual longings can actually propel us toward sanctification and holiness in our bodies. With insights for both married and single men alike, this book offers hope for freedom from pornography.
No matter how committed two people are to being together, why can't they get away from feeling something is missing? In this important and transformative guide, three experienced practitioners identify the widespread dysfunctional dynamic they call "irrelationship," a psychological defense system two people create together to protect themselves from the fear and anxiety of real intimacy in a relationship. Drawing on their wide clinical and life experience, the authors examine behavioral "song-and-dance routines" repeatedly performed by couples affected by irrelationship. Readers will find a valuable framework for understanding their challenges with action-oriented tools to help them navigate their way to fulfilling relationships. Mark B. Borg, Jr., PhD, is a community psychologist and psychoanalyst, and a supervisor of psychotherapy at the William Alanson White Institute. Grant H. Brenner, MD, is a board-certified psychiatrist in private practice, specializing in treating mood and anxiety disorders and the complex problems that may arise in adulthood from childhood trauma and loss. Daniel Berry, RN, MHA, has practiced as a Registered Nurse in New York City since 1987 and has worked for almost two decades in community-based programs.
What does it really mean to love another person? Is there such a thing as the 'perfect' partner? How does infatuation differ from the real thing?The need to love is central to our idea of happiness, yet it sometimes seems that the more we reflect on it the more elusive it becomes. In this lucid and graceful meditation on the deeper meanings of intimacy, John Armstrong explores the ideas that have shaped how we view affairs of the heart. Drawing on poetry, novels, philosophy, paintings and music, he shows how love is inextricably bound up with perception and the imagination: that loving a real, complicated person and being understood and valued by them in turn is not something we find, but rather something we create.
This must-read book will help you recognize the danger signs of a sexualized relationship and show you how to keep your future with your family, your friends, your coworkers, and your God secure. "Our world is aflame with sex," warns counselor and author Dr. Gregg Jantz. We live in a society where sex is practiced openly, talked about freely, engaged in creatively, and flaunted shamelessly. Cultural stigmas that once kept sex within definable boundaries have all but disappeared. Anyone can fall prey to sexual temptation or become the target of a sexual aggressor. Any man or woman who has contact with the opposite sex—whether at church, in the workplace, or at play—needs the vital information contained in these pages. Would you recognize a sexually charged relationship soon enough to avoid falling into an affair? Would you be able to help a friend, loved one, or someone you're counseling avoid such a relationship? Basing each section on gripping case studies, Dr. Jantz offers expert guidance in identifying sexual manipulators and climbers; spotting danger signals in friendships about to turn sexual; protecting family members from relatives or acquaintances who are sexual predators; knowing how to avoid sexual traps when advising church members; and avoiding sexual pitfalls in professional and pastoral counseling.
What happens when the human brain, which evolved over eons, collides with twenty-first-century technology? Machines can now push psychological buttons, stimulating and sometimes exploiting the ways people make friends, gossip with neighbors, and grow intimate with lovers. Sex robots present the humanoid face of this technological revolution—yet although it is easy to gawk at their uncanniness, more familiar technologies based in artificial intelligence and virtual reality are insinuating themselves into human interactions. Digital lovers, virtual friends, and algorithmic matchmakers help us manage our feelings in a world of cognitive overload. Will these machines, fueled by masses of user data and powered by algorithms that learn all the time, transform the quality of human life? Artificial Intimacy offers an innovative perspective on the possibilities of the present and near future. The evolutionary biologist Rob Brooks explores the latest research on intimacy and desire to consider the interaction of new technologies and fundamental human behaviors. He details how existing artificial intelligences can already learn and exploit human social needs—and are getting better at what they do. Brooks combines an understanding of core human traits from evolutionary biology with analysis of how cultural, economic, and technological contexts shape the ways people express them. Beyond the technology, he asks what the implications of artificial intimacy will be for how we understand ourselves.
ÒBoys are emotionally illiterate and donÕt want intimate friendships.Ó In this empirically grounded challenge to our stereotypes about boys and men, Niobe Way reveals the intense intimacy among teenage boys especially during early and middle adolescence. Boys not only share their deepest secrets and feelings with their closest male friends, they claim that without them they would go Òwacko.Ó Yet as boys become men, they become distrustful, lose these friendships, and feel isolated and alone. Drawing from hundreds of interviews conducted throughout adolescence with black, Latino, white, and Asian American boys, Deep Secrets reveals the ways in which we have been telling ourselves a false story about boys, friendships, and human nature. BoysÕ descriptions of their male friendships sound more like Òsomething out of Love Story than Lord of the Flies.Ó Yet in late adolescence, boys feel they have to Òman upÓ by becoming stoic and independent. Vulnerable emotions and intimate friendships are for girls and gay men. ÒNo homoÓ becomes their mantra. These findings are alarming, given what we know about links between friendships and health, and even longevity. Rather than a Òboy crisis,Ó Way argues that boys are experiencing a Òcrisis of connectionÓ because they live in a culture where human needs and capacities are given a sex (female) and a sexuality (gay), and thus discouraged for those who are neither. Way argues that the solution lies with exposing the inaccuracies of our gender stereotypes and fostering these critical relationships and fundamental human skills.
A Guide to Rebuilding Trust and Intimacy It's devastating to discover that the person you trust the most has betrayed you. You'll be facing some hard questions after learning of your partner's infidelity. You may choose to rebuild your relationship, or you may decide to move on. Whatever the right decision is for you, this book will help you figure out why your partner betrayed you and decide whether you can remain in your relationship. It will also show you new ways to relate that can help you and your partner become a lasting, loving, and committed couple. You'll start by taking a look at the phenomenon of infidelity and the three types of intimacy: self-intimacy, conflict intimacy, and affection intimacy. Then you'll learn about the three kinds of infidelity—those of fear, of loneliness, and of anger—and what each reveals about your relationship. Then it's on to practical exercises that can heal emotional wounds and enable you to recover your ability to trust. Even if you decide not to remain with your current partner, the book will help you make wise relationship choices to "affair-proof" your future relationship.