A first-ever how-to book to help abusive men change their behavior by changing their thinking. End the cycle of abuse - for good. Authors Charlie Donaldson, Randy Flood and Elaine Eldridge uncover a proven action plan that violent men can use to change their behavior. Filled with insightful questionnaires and actual case histories, the essential how-to book Stop Hurting the Woman You Love, will help end abusive patterns in favor of healthier, happier relationships.
A radical new take on the crisis of intimate abuse, Violent Partners argues that as a culture we misunderstand the root causes and basic effects of abuse, and until that changes there is no hope of fixing the problem. Dr. Linda Mills challenges assumptions, tears down myths, and offer solutions, all the while telling riveting stories of couples who have conquered violence in their relationships. In Violent Partners, she describes several programs that hold promise for addressing intimate abuse, including two nationally known and groundbreaking treatment programs-Peacemaking Circles and Healing Circles. Controversial, provocative, and accessible, Violent Partners is unlike any other book on abuse and relationships, and highlights in great detail the complexities of violence through the stories of men and women who have acknowledged their abuse and sought to do something about it. This is essential reading for anyone seeking to understand violence in their own relationship, friends and family members of victims and abusers, and legal and mental health practitioners looking for a new and valuable approach to treating couples in crisis.
This “clear, empathetic self-help book . . . is an excellent choice for readers who come from an abusive past and are struggling to make a brighter future”(Publishers Weekly). If you were emotionally, physically, or sexually abused as a child or adolescent, or if you experienced neglect or abandonment, it isn't a question of whether you will continue the cycle of abuse but rather a question of how--whether you will become an abuser or continue to be a victim. In this breakthrough book, Beverly Engel, a leading expert on emotional and sexual abuse, explains how to stop the cycle of abuse once and for all. Her step-by-step program provides the necessary skills for gaining control over emotions, changing negative attitudes, learning healthy ways of communicating, healing the damage from prior abuse, and seeking out support. Throughout, Engel shares many dramatic personal stories including her own experiences with abusive behavior. Breaking the Cycle of Abuse gives you the power to shatter abusive patterns for good and offers a legacy of hope and healing for you and your family. “A beacon of hope for women and men who fear that they will pass the abuse they have suffered on to their children, partners, or employees.” —Lundy Bancroft, author of When Dad Hurts Mom and Why Does He Do That? “In this remarkably powerful, wise, and compassionate book, Beverly Engel . . . offers expert advice and strategies to help parents and would-be parents avoid doing to their children what was done to them and helps both abusers and victims in emotionally and physically abusive relationships make vitally important changes in their relationships.” —Susan Forward, Ph.D., author of Toxic Parents and Emotional Blackmail
An eagerly awaited collection of stories dealing with domestic abuse, edited by the New York Times bestselling author Zane. Breaking the Cycle is a stunning and moving anthology of stories, each of which focuses on an aspect of domestic abuse. This powerful collection is sure to serve as a wake-up call for people either dealing with a domestic abuse situation, or those watching someone else endure it. In the title story, Zane describes the turmoil that a young girl suffers at the hands of her stepfather. The girl and her mother plan their escape, but at the last minute the mother falters. In D.V. Bernard's "The Lonely Echoes of My Youth," readers are introduced to a young boy raising himself on the fringes of a drug-infested neigborhood. Nane Quartay's provocative story, "The Grindstone," describes a boy who witnesses a brutal murder which will have far-reaching effects on him and his family. Tracy Price-Thompson weaves a powerful tale in "The Stranger" when a woman constantly abused by her husband finds inner strength after a brutal attack. Collen Dixon's "The Break of Dawn" will keep readers deep in thought long after they finish reading her story about a young desperate mother terrifed that her own daughter will grow up and become victimized herself. Dywane D. Birch's "Victory Begins With Me" reflects how one woman has to struggle to get her life back to normal. Shonda Cheekes' "Silent Suffering" flips the script when a man finds himself abused by the female in his life. Newcomer J.L. Woodson's "God Does Answer Prayers" deals with a young boy fighting for his life in a hospital bed, put there by one of the people who is supposed to love him the most: a parent. These stories capture the dangerous realities of domestic abuse, while also pointing toward the steps that need to be taken to break the cycle that perpetuates it. It is sure to serve as a rallying cry for all those who desire victory over their own victimization, and a guide for understanding the complex undercurrents that make such patterns possible.
Canadian and American contributors to this book describe a wide range of programs offered to deal with the direct and indirect victims of men who batter. These include individual treatment options for children who witness the violence, parenting programs for men who batter, and prevention programs targeting high school students. For those involved in providing family services, the book is guaranteed to be both informative and thought-provoking. --John Hunsley in The Canadian Family Psychologist "There is a great deal to reflect upon in every section of the book. The chapters on assessment of children exposed to family violence, and on providing individual and group therapy for children of abused women, take up some very important issues. . . . This book is to be highly commended for its unequivocal espousal of the tenet that a child who witnesses the abuse of his or her mother is an abused child." --Chris Goddard in Child Abuse Review "This is an invaluable collection of papers that both raises awareness regarding the growing body of research that indicates the negative psychological effects domestic violence has on children even if they themselves are not the target of the violence, as well as offering practical suggestions for clinicians. It is a useful resource book for anyone working with the issue of family violence." --G. Smith in European Child & Adolescent Psychiatry Although there is a growing body of research on children of battered women, there has been little practical information available on intervention with these children. Ending the Cycle of Violence is the first volume to cover the varied and complex arena of intervention with children of battered women. It provides an overview of current practices including strategies and program models. The expert contributors present a concise and accessible look into four major areas: living in a violent culture, shelters and domestic violence counseling, child protection services and the criminal justice system, and prevention and education in schools and communities. Practitioners who work with battered women and their children--shelter and domestic violence program staff, battered women′s advocates, and counselors--will find this book most useful. It will also be helpful to all professionals working with children in schools, child protective services, youth programs, health and mental health agencies, institutions, group homes, and foster care settings. Ending the Cycle of Violence also provides and overview of innovations in this field that can enhance policymakers′ ability to further develop services for this at-risk population.
Is the person you love most in the world actually destroying you? Sometimes, it's not so simple for individuals in abusive relationships to just break free. Author Tracy S. Deitz, a trained advocate for victims of domestic violence, tells the story of Lydia, a survivor of an abusive marriage who offers a lifeline to anyone who feels trapped in a destructive home. Break the Cycle: Healing from an Abusive Relationship is Lydia's profoundly honest and hopeful guide to gaining the strength, insight, and resources necessary to inspire anyone who wants to forge a new and positive path in life. Encouraging and easy to read, this invaluable book will help both victims and those who care about them to break through the confusion of this complex emotional struggle. By sharing Lydia's personal account about many years on a relational roller coaster, the author offers a vital perspective to individuals who are torn between keeping their covenant vow and trying to survive in a dysfunctional relationship with an unrepentant spouse. Integrating research, Scriptures, and personal anecdotes, the text illustrates practices for healing and finding clarity. From discussing isolation to awakening courage, each chapter identifies challenges and solutions, culminating with study questions for individual reflection or small-group discussions. The guide tackles issues surrounding alcoholism, Christianity and what the faith community teaches about honoring a vow, with daily illustrations of the challenges victims face. While illuminating the dilemmas of loving someone who is an abuser, Break the Cycle: Healing from an Abusive Relationship offers those suffering from this national epidemic a chance to find security, confidence, and peace. Millions of people in this country desperately need to discover the hope that is available to them through a personal relationship with God, rather than religiosity. This poignant, inspiring guide can do just that.
Something Has to Change… You can’t put it into words, but something is happening to you. Your stomach churns, your heart aches, and the tension in your marriage is making you feel weary and a little crazy. The constant criticism, disrespect, cruelty, deceit, and gross indifference are eroding your confidence and breaking your spirit. For any woman caught in an emotionally destructive marriage, Leslie Vernick offers a personalized path forward. Based on decades of counseling experience, her intensely practical, biblical advice will show you how to establish boundaries and break free from emotional abuse. Learn to: · identify damaging behaviors · gain the skills to respond wisely · promote healthy change · stay safe · understand when, why, and even how to leave · recognize that God sees and hates what is happening to you Trying harder to be a perfect fantasy wife won’t help fix what’s wrong your marriage. Discover instead how you can initiate effective changes to stop the cycle of destruction and restore hope for the future. “Women in an emotionally abusive marriage do not need another book on how to have a good marriage; those books rub salt in raw wounds. No, they desperately need this book so that they can diagnose just how bad their marriage is and then, with Leslie’s clear expertise, develop a plan that will either begin to turn their marriage around...or give them a wise route of escape.” —Dee Brestin, author of Idol Lies and The Friendships of Women
"Engel doesn't just describe-she shows us the way out." -Susan Forward, author of Emotional Blackmail Praise for theemotionally abusive relationship "In this book, Beverly Engel clearly and with caring offersstep-by-step strategies to stop emotional abuse. . . helping bothvictims and abusers to identify the patterns of this painful andtraumatic type of abuse. This book is a guide both for individualsand for couples stuck in the tragic patterns of emotionalabuse." -Marti Loring, Ph.D., author of Emotional Abuse and coeditor of The Journal of Emotional Abuse "This groundbreaking book succeeds in helping people stop emotionalabuse by focusing on both the abuser and the abused and showingeach party what emotional abuse is, how it affects therelationship, and how to stop it. Its unique focus on the dynamicrelationship makes it more likely that each person will grasp thetools for change and really use them." -Randi Kreger, author of The Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook and owner of BPDCentral.com The number of people who become involved with partners who abusethem emotionally and/or who are emotionally abusive themselves isphenomenal, and yet emotional abuse is the least understood form ofabuse. In this breakthrough book, Beverly Engel, one of the world'sleading experts on the subject, shows us what it is and what to doabout it. Whether you suspect you are being emotionally abused, fear that youmight be emotionally abusing your partner, or think that both youand your partner are emotionally abusing each other, this book isfor you. The Emotionally Abusive Relationship will tell you how toidentify emotional abuse and how to find the roots of yourbehavior. Combining dramatic personal stories with action steps toheal, Engel provides prescriptive strategies that will allow youand your partner to work together to stop bringing out the worst ineach other and stop the abuse. By teaching those who are being emotionally abused how to helpthemselves and those who are being emotionally abusive how to stopabusing, The Emotionally Abusive Relationship offers the expertguidance and support you need.
A survivor of domestic violence offers women the tools needed to work through the excuses they tell themselves that keep them in abusive relationships - and to make positive changes in their lives. He loves me. He has a really sweet side. I am all he has. If only his boss wouldn't put him under so much stress. At least he doesn't hit me. He won't do it again. I can't do anything right. In this compassionate book, Joanna V. Hunter helps women face, head on, the excuses they tell themselves that keep them in abusive relationships. Using expert advice complemented by her story and the stories of dozens of other women who have survived and turned away from domestic violence, Hunter teaches women to identify the lies they've accepted, understand what healthy thinking sounds like, stop taking the blame for their partner's behavior, identify power and control plays, and stick up for their own needs and plans for their safety. With each self-defeating message addressed in But He'll Change, Hunter offers counter messages designed to help women build strength and hope. Readers will develop the tools to operate not as victims, but as survivors.
WINNER OF THE HILLMAN PRIZE FOR BOOK JOURNALISM, THE HELEN BERNSTEIN BOOK AWARD, AND THE LUKAS WORK-IN-PROGRESS AWARD * A NEW YORK TIMES TOP 10 BOOKS OF THE YEAR * NATIONAL BOOK CRITICS CIRCLE AWARD FINALIST * LOS ANGELES TIMES BOOK PRIZE FINALIST * ABA SILVER GAVEL AWARD FINALIST * KIRKUS PRIZE FINALIST NAMED ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF 2019 BY: Esquire, Amazon, Kirkus, Library Journal, Publishers Weekly, BookPage, BookRiot, Economist, New York Times Staff Critics “A seminal and breathtaking account of why home is the most dangerous place to be a woman . . . A tour de force.” -Eve Ensler "Terrifying, courageous reportage from our internal war zone." -Andrew Solomon "Extraordinary." -New York Times ,“Editors' Choice” “Gut-wrenching, required reading.” -Esquire "Compulsively readable . . . It will save lives." -Washington Post “Essential, devastating reading.” -Cheryl Strayed, New York Times Book Review An award-winning journalist's intimate investigation of the true scope of domestic violence, revealing how the roots of America's most pressing social crises are buried in abuse that happens behind closed doors. We call it domestic violence. We call it private violence. Sometimes we call it intimate terrorism. But whatever we call it, we generally do not believe it has anything at all to do with us, despite the World Health Organization deeming it a “global epidemic.” In America, domestic violence accounts for 15 percent of all violent crime, and yet it remains locked in silence, even as its tendrils reach unseen into so many of our most pressing national issues, from our economy to our education system, from mass shootings to mass incarceration to #MeToo. We still have not taken the true measure of this problem. In No Visible Bruises, journalist Rachel Louise Snyder gives context for what we don't know we're seeing. She frames this urgent and immersive account of the scale of domestic violence in our country around key stories that explode the common myths-that if things were bad enough, victims would just leave; that a violent person cannot become nonviolent; that shelter is an adequate response; and most insidiously that violence inside the home is a private matter, sealed from the public sphere and disconnected from other forms of violence. Through the stories of victims, perpetrators, law enforcement, and reform movements from across the country, Snyder explores the real roots of private violence, its far-reaching consequences for society, and what it will take to truly address it.
