So, I'm Drunk. Daniel T. Drunk, Jr. if you really wanna know. And I'm on a plane headed to Paradise Isle on the trip of a lifetime. The occasion? My honeymoon. Except, there's only one problem. I'm riding solo. It's a really long story, and if you don't mind, I'd prefer to leave it at that. Really? You must know? Fine, I get it. You're the nosey type. Here's the abbreviated version. I came within an inch of marrying a cheating slut. There. Get the picture? Good. But that's not what this story is about. This story is about what happened after I got to Paradise and a dead body showed up in my motel room. And, of course, the cops tried to blame it on me. And then the actual murderer decided they wanted me dead too. Fuck. The hits just kept on coming. And to top it all off. This woman started following me around the island, and she couldn't seem to keep her hands off me. But not in a good way. So if you're interested in a bit of Caribbean flavored action and adventure, with a hint of sexual tension, a dash of unapologetic profanity, and a kick-ass ending, then this is your book. If you're looking for the next best piece of literature since - oh, hell, who am I kidding? I don't know shit about good literature. But if that's what you're looking for, then keep moving, cause this ain't that. If, however, you're like me and just looking for a good time, then I'm your fella. I promise you, you won't be disappointed. Rated R for language, crude humor, and sexual innuendos. Rated A+ for entertainment value.
March 8, 1990: An intoxicated three-man crew, including Flight Engineer Joseph Balzer, fly a Northwest Airlines Boeing 727 with 91 passengers aboard from Fargo, North Dakota to Minneapolis, Minnesota.Northwest Airlines, alcoholism July 25, 1990: All three pilots stand trial for flying a commercial airliner while under the influence of alcohol; all three are convicted and sent to federal prison. July 26, 1990 – present: Joe Balzer fights for redemption and to regain all that he has lost. Flying Drunk is his story. Since he was a young boy, Joe Balzer dreamed of flying. He pursued his goal with a vigorous passion and earned his pilot licenses, piling up hours of flight time with a wide variety of planes and jets with one overarching goal: to one day fly for a major airline. But Joe had a problem. He was an alcoholic and refused to admit to himself that he had a problem. His alcoholism caught up with him in March 1990, when Joe was arrested with two other pilots for flying a commercial airliner while under the influence of alcohol. His world began crumbling around him and his new marriage faced the ultimate test. He lost his promising career and his dignity. Every major media outlet, including The New York Times, Newsweek, and Time Magazine covered the shocking story for the stunned American flying public. The trial that followed drained Joe’s life’s savings and federal prison nearly broke him. Flying Drunk is Joe’s bittersweet and thoroughly chilling memoir of his twisted journey to a Federal courtroom, his time in the notorious Federal penitentiary system in Atlanta, and his struggle to recapture all that he held dear. Today, Joe is a recovering alcoholic, celebrating more than nineteen years of sobriety. The long road back from perdition led him to American Airlines, where good people and a great organization recognized a talented pilot who had cleaned up his act and was ready to fly again, safely. Flying Drunk is an incredible journey of the human spirit, from childhood to hell, and back again. Everyone should read and heed its message of hope and redemption. No one who does will ever forget it. About the Author: Joe Balzer is a pilot for American Airlines with more than 15,000 hours of flight experience. He has a Master’s Degree in Aerospace Education and is also an inspirational speaker, traveling around the country speaking to pilots and other groups on the dangers of alcohol and other addictions, bringing his audience to laughter and tears with his powerful message of hope. Joe lives in Tennessee with his wife Deborah and their two children. Flying Drunk is his first book.
What would you do if your ex got abducted?Remember, they're an ex for a reason. So let's assume you hate them from the depths of your soul. Line up the tequila shots, right? Not your problem? Now stay with me for a second. What if you were the ONLY person who could save their life? Then would you save them? We are talking about another human being's life, after all. Now, imagine you have seven million dollars in your bank account. Sweet, right? It's seven million dollars or your ex's life. This is a judgment-free zone. Be honest. You'd keep the seven million dollars. Am I right? Yeah, me too. So, I'm Drunk. I hate my ex. And I have seven million dollars in my bank account. You do the math. My buddy Al and I are back once again for another Caribbean flavored misadventure. There's more action, more adventure, more profanity, and more ass-kicking. Rated R for language, crude humor, and sexual innuendos. Rated A+ for entertainment value. **Word to the wise...while this story can stand on its own two feet, it'll make more sense if you start with my first story, Drunk on a Plane.
Tim Cowlishaw never considered himself an alcoholic. By the time he reached his 50th birthday his career was everything he'd ever hope it would be. With a sports column in a major paper, winning APSE's Best Sports Columnist in Texas four times, and a daily spot on ESPN's highly successful show, "Around the Horn," Cowlishaw had pursued and conquered nearly everything he ever desired professionally. However, the pursuit of that success nearly cost him his life. DRUNK ON SPORTS is more than simply a memoir by one of America's most well-known sportswriters. Behind his happy-go-lucky public persona was a man with a considerable (but well- disguised) drinking problem. For years, Cowlishaw believed that his ability to drink with the best of them helped in his development of sources and pursuit of stories and, unfortunately, he was right. Among others, the relationship he built while sitting on a barstool next to Cowboys Coach Jimmy Johnson allowed him to get where other reporters couldn't. As all hell broke loose between Johnson and Cowboys owner Jerry Jones in 1994, Cowlishaw was right next to Coach Johnson every step (and beer) along the way. In DRUNK ON SPORTS, Cowlishaw recounts first-hand stories never told and quotes never shared from the bizarre breakup of one of the NFL's most successful dynasties. As he points out in the introduction, this is not an anti-drinking book. Cowlishaw loved alcohol for 35 years. If anything, this is a how-not-to book more than a how-to book. Along the way, Cowlishaw takes readers inside some of the biggest stories in sports. He joined ESPN in 2002 as a regular on Around the Horn and discusses life behind the scenes at the Worldwide Leader candidly and at length. Cowlishaw writes and talks and, at times, drinks his way into the sports world's fast lane-what else would you call getting hammered on vodka with Denny Hamlin at the Daytona 500-before realizing the only way to continue is to call a halt to the partying. The story of his rise and fall is more insightful and humorous than it is preachy as Cowlishaw examines some of the flawed decisions he made throughout his lifetime in sports. DRUNK ON SPORTS is a cautionary yet entertaining tale of never before told stories featuring some of the most recognizable personalities in sports, and if it causes some readers to reexamine their own lives, then it will have gone above and beyond its intended purpose. "A toast (club soda with lime) to Cowlishaw, who goes Around the Horn as a writer. This gem of a book is, by turns, bracingly candid, brutally self-critical, searingly poignant and damn funny. Tim's longtime readers will love this. New ones will get a sense of why he is so well-liked and well-regarded among his peers."-Jon Wertheim (Executive Editor, Sports Illustrated) "Drunk on Sports is the absorbing account of its extraordinary author. Honest, intelligent, unvarnished and engaging throughout, just like Tim. It is everything Tim is, including shockingly hip when it comes to movies, TV and music references."-Tony Reali (Host, ESPN's Around the Horn) "I am so proud that Tim was able look at the truth of who he was and what he had morphed into. His greatest moment won't be in an article or being on TV. It will be how he had the courage to share his story with all of us."-Nancy Lieberman (Basketball Hall of Famer)
The first airline pilot ever arrested and sent to prison for flying under the influence, and fired by his airline and stripped of his FAA licenses, recounts his rise, fall, and rise in the airline industry.
From the bestselling author of Tides of Honour and Promises to Keep comes a poignant novel about a young couple caught on opposite sides of the Second World War. In the fall of 1939, Grace Baker’s three brothers, sharp and proud in their uniforms, board Canadian ships headed for a faraway war. Grace stays behind, tending to the homefront and the general store that helps keep her small Nova Scotian community running. The war, everyone says, will be over before it starts. But three years later, the fighting rages on and rumours swirl about “wolf packs” of German U-Boats lurking in the deep waters along the shores of East Jeddore, a stone’s throw from Grace’s window. As the harsh realities of war come closer to home, Grace buries herself in her work at the store. Then, one day, a handsome stranger ventures into the store. He claims to be a trapper come from away, and as Grace gets to know him, she becomes enamoured by his gentle smile and thoughtful ways. But after several weeks, she discovers that Rudi, her mysterious visitor, is not the lonely outsider he appears to be. He is someone else entirely—someone not to be trusted. When a shocking truth about her family forces Grace to question everything she has so strongly believed, she realizes that she and Rudi have more in common than she had thought. And if Grace is to have a chance at love, she must not only choose a side, but take a stand. Come from Away is a mesmerizing story of love, shifting allegiances, and second chances, set against the tumultuous years of the Second World War.
The hilarious New York Times bestseller “sharply observes the lives of globe-trotting, overindulging investment bankers” (Entertainment Weekly). “Some chick asked me what I would do with 10 million bucks. I told her I’d wonder where the rest of my money went.” —@GSElevator For three years, the notorious @GSElevator Twitter feed offered a hilarious, shamelessly voyeuristic look into the real world of international finance. Hundreds of thousands followed the account, Goldman Sachs launched an internal investigation, and when the true identity of the man behind it all was revealed, it created a national media sensation—but that’s only part of the story. Where @GSElevator captured the essence of the banking elite with curated jokes and submissions overheard by readers, Straight to Hell adds John LeFevre’s own story—an unapologetic and darkly funny account of a career as a globe-conquering investment banker spanning New York, London, and Hong Kong. Straight to Hell pulls back the curtain on a world that is both hated and envied, taking readers from the trading floors and roadshows to private planes and after-hours overindulgence. Full of shocking lawlessness, boyish antics, and win-at-all-costs schemes, this is the definitive take on the deviant, dysfunctional, and absolutely excessive world of finance. “Shocking and sordid—and so much fun.” —Daily News (New York) “LeFevre’s workplace anecdotes include tales of nastiness, sabotage, favoritism, sexism, racism, expense-account padding, and legally questionable collusion.” —The New Yorker
This ingeniously useful compendium--organized to suit whatever time that the reader has available at that moment--offers reading material to fill those gray, in-between moments in life with beauty, wonder, insight, and emotion.
