Don't Count Your Chicken Farts Before They Hatch

Don't Count Your Chicken Farts Before They Hatch

Author: Donald Rump

Publisher: Donald Rump

Published: 2018-07-04

Total Pages: 36

ISBN-13: 1386998834

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When Miles Puggsley spends his last dollar on a carton of empty eggs, he realizes he's reached rock bottom and the end is near. But there's a basement to the misery he now endures, especially for the once proud DMV specialist turned exorcist. Can a band of wild chicken farts change his fortune? No, probably not. Approximately 4,100 words.


Till Death Do Us Fart

Till Death Do Us Fart

Author: Donald Rump

Publisher: Donald Rump

Published: 2014-05-18

Total Pages: 30

ISBN-13: 1624545181

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Helen Hubbard's fears have finally been confirmed. During brunch one morning in her favorite restaurant, her husband Gary confesses to cheating on her, and is ready to leave at a moment's notice. When she pries deeper into the matter, she discovers more about his mysterious lover Muffy than she cares to know. “So you’re leaving me for a fart???” Helen exclaimed. For mature (and not so mature) audiences. Approximately 2,500 words.


"The Farce of the Fart" and Other Ribaldries

Author: Jody Enders

Publisher: University of Pennsylvania Press

Published: 2011-05-31

Total Pages: 495

ISBN-13: 0812205014

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Was there more to medieval and Renaissance comedy than Chaucer and Shakespeare? Bien sûr. For a real taste of saucy early European humor, one must cross the Channel to France. There, in the fifteenth and early sixteenth centuries, the sophisticated met the scatological in popular performances presented by roving troupes in public squares that skewered sex, politics, and religion. For centuries, the scripts for these outrageous, anonymously written shows were available only in French editions gathered from scattered print and manuscript sources. Now prize-winning theater historian Jody Enders brings twelve of the funniest of these farces to contemporary English-speaking audiences in "The Farce of the Fart" and Other Ribaldries. Enders's translation captures the full richness of the colorful characters, irreverent humor, and over-the-top plotlines, all in a refreshingly uncensored American vernacular. Those who have never heard the one about the Cobbler, the Monk, the Wife, and the Gatekeeper should prepare to be shocked and entertained. "The Farce of the Fart" and Other Ribaldries is populated by hilarious characters high and low. For medievalists, theater practitioners, and classic comedy lovers alike, Enders provides a wealth of information about the plays and their history. Helpful details abound for each play about plot, character development, sets, staging, costumes, and props. This performance-friendly collection offers in-depth guidance to actors, directors, dramaturges, teachers, and their students. "The Farce of the Fart" and Other Ribaldries puts fifteenth-century French farce in its rightful place alongside Chaucer, Shakespeare, commedia dell'arte, and Molière—not to mention Monty Python. Vive la Farce!


The $500 Question

The $500 Question

Author: Donald Rump

Publisher: Donald Rump

Published: 2014-01-06

Total Pages: 28

ISBN-13: 1624545033

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Perkins Deadwood can't believe his ears. His twelve-year-old son just asked for a pet fart for Christmas. And not just any fart, a Spanish fart. ¡Ay, caramba! Can the used car salesman talk his son out of it? Or is this Christmas going to really stink? For mature (and not so mature) audiences. Approximately 2,100 words.


Fart Lover Supreme

Fart Lover Supreme

Author: Donald Rump

Publisher: Donald Rump

Published: 2020-01-24

Total Pages: 29

ISBN-13: 1393361803

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Kimberly Grant is ruthless, and wants a taco. Thankfully, she's found a sucker to give it to her. Big time. Approximately 2,800 words.


The Gay Assteroid

The Gay Assteroid

Author: Donald Rump

Publisher: Donald Rump

Published: 2020-09-24

Total Pages: 24

ISBN-13: 1393329438

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Bill Bluster, founder and visionary behind the oddball Bluster Space Entertainment, LLC, sees an opportunity. When a pink asteroid is stopped short of striking earth's 15th colony Syphus, he puts in a bid and snaps it up. Now in his possession, he's not sure what to do with it. How does one go about promoting a pink asteroid that doesn't look the least bit menacing? By promising a gay, old time, of course! Approximately 1,000 words.


They Call Me Vlad - Episode 1: Return of the Blech

They Call Me Vlad - Episode 1: Return of the Blech

Author: Donald Rump

Publisher: Donald Rump

Published: 2023-12-18

Total Pages: 32

ISBN-13:

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VLAD WIECKOWSKY has never smelled worse! Fresh off a plane from Honolulu, which surprisingly didn't crash, it doesn't take long before trouble finds him. But that's nothing a few, nice, timely, juicy air biscuits can't fix. Or not... Approximately 3,000 words.


Keeping Wind Laten and the Fate of the World at Bay (ePub)

Keeping Wind Laten and the Fate of the World at Bay (ePub)

Author: Donald Rump

Publisher: Donald Rump

Published: 2016-07-02

Total Pages: 26

ISBN-13: 1533731373

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Great heavens, the armored kingdoms are under attack! And King Krakken, the domain’s irritable ruler, has an impossible decision. Should he scramble the air ships and meet the encroaching enemy head on or listen to his counsel and hold firm? Either way, the green death is upon him and it’s only a matter of time before he comes face-to-face with the infamous Wind Laten. Approximately 1,600 words. DIAGNOSIS: Less filling. Doesn’t contain many actual farts.


Put Another Fart in the Jukebox, Baby

Put Another Fart in the Jukebox, Baby

Author: Donald Rump

Publisher: Donald Rump

Published: 2018-06-19

Total Pages: 29

ISBN-13: 138670198X

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When Brad Blemmings meets his blind date at Fifty Something, a retro shake and burger joint, he's not sure what to expect. But the goth beauty Maimah is quite a handful, and then there's the matter of the farting jukebox in the corner... Approximately 3,100 words.


Four Stinky Stories Vol. 4

Four Stinky Stories Vol. 4

Author: Donald Rump

Publisher: Donald Rump

Published: 2020-02-21

Total Pages: 89

ISBN-13: 1393957056

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Can you believe it? Four more stinky stories have squeaked out, including these ghastly ghost turds: PUT ANOTHER FART IN THE JUKEBOX, BABY When Brad Blemmings meets his blind date at Fifty Something, a retro shake and burger joint, he's not sure what to expect. But the goth beauty Maimah is quite a handful, and then there's the matter of the farting jukebox in the corner... PEDO FLAMBÉ When an old man hobbles into the Palazzio and demands his favorite dish, the peculiar Pedo Flambé, the wait staff isn't sure what to make of it. "I'm sorry, sir, but we don't have such a thing on our menu." His baby-faced waiter Zach Spitz frowns. "You sure about that?" The old man slaps down a $100 bill. "Of course, sir. Right away, sir!" Zach's manager snatches up the bill and runs back to the kitchen. FART LOVER SUPREME Kimberly Grant is ruthless, and wants a taco. Thankfully, she's found a sucker to give it to her. Big time! DON'T COUNT YOUR CHICKEN FARTS BEFORE THEY HATCH When Miles Puggsley spends his last dollar on a carton of empty eggs, he realizes he's reached rock bottom and the end is near. But there's a basement to the misery he now endures, especially for the once proud DMV specialist turned exorcist. Can a band of wild chicken farts change his fortunes? No, probably not. BONUS: THE HAIRIEST BUTT The search for the hairiest butt on Venus leads to explosive results. Approximately 15,500 words.