'If you've ever wondered why we keep secrets and what motivates us to spill them, look no further' Adam Grant, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Think AgainAn eye-opening look at why we keep the secrets we keep, how to better understand and cope with them, and when (and how) we should bring them to light.Think of a secret that you're keeping from others. It shouldn't take long. Psychologist Michael Slepian finds that, on average, we are keeping as many as thirteen secrets at any given time. His research, involving more than 50,000 participants from around the world, shows that we most frequently keep secrets about lies we've told, ambitions, addictions, mental health challenges, hidden relationships and financial struggles.Our secrets can weigh heavily upon us. Yet the burden of secrecy rarely stems from the work it takes to keep a secret hidden. Rather, the weight of our secrets comes from carrying them alone. Whether we are motivated to protect our reputation, a relationship, a loved one's feelings, or some personal or professional goal, one thing is clear: holding back some part of our inner world is often lonely and isolating. But it doesn't have to be. Filled with fresh insight into one of the most universal - yet least understood - aspects of human behaviour, The Secret Life of Secrets sheds fascinating new light on questions like: At what age do children develop the cognitive capacity for secrecy? Do all secrets come with the same mental load? How can we reconcile our secrets with our human desires to relate, connect and be known? When should we confess and to whom? And can keeping certain types of secrets actually enhance our well-being? Drawing on over a decade of original research, this book reveals the surprising ways in which secrets pervade our lives, and offers science-based strategies that make them easier to live with. The result is a rare window into the inner workings of our minds, our relationships and our sense of who we are.
This book joins together disclosure, privacy, and secrecy to pursue a greater understanding of how people are both public and private in their interactions. To be social yet autonomous, known yet unknown, independent yet dependent on others is essential to the communicative world. How do people manage these seemingly incongruous goals? This book argues that they actively work at balancing simultaneous needs of being both public and private. It highlights many different ways that people balance their public needs with their privacy needs underscoring the multidimensional nature of balance. The chapters also show that the opposing needs occur within a variety of contexts, from health issues, such as HIV/AIDS, to television talk shows. Readers will discover that avoiding disclosure is a dominant theme. In this way, the authors demonstrate how people balance privacy and secrecy by deemphasizing openness. Taken as a whole, this volume offers a refreshing new look at age-old concerns.
In this sharp, invigorating read, Fortune 50 consultant Stephen Harvill discovers twenty-one common behaviors of top earners across seven major industries that set them apart. These are the secrets of the world’s best salespeople who rake in at least one million dollars a year. For over thirty years, Steve Harvill has helped successful sales teams do what they do better, smarter, more elegantly, and more imaginatively. As a consultant for some of the top companies in the world, including Apple, Pepsi, Samsung, and Wells Fargo, he aids in simplifying processes that have become unwieldy and making teams more effective. His work inspired him to ask the question: What exactly sets the top producers apart from their peers? After spending a year interviewing 175 sales superstars from seven different industries, he found twenty-one distinct behaviors of successful salespeople. Organized by these best practices and filled with hundreds more tips, stories, and takeaways, 21 Secrets of Million-Dollar Sellers reveals how you can improve in every aspect of your job and rise to become one of the best.
Although clients disclose many of their concerns to therapists, they often choose to conceal some of their concerns as well. Equally, therapists occasionally reveal something of themselves to clients via therapist self-disclosure, but typically keep the focus on clients. Such disclosure, whether by clients or therapists, is seldom easy, and is instead often fraught with questions as to what, how much, and why to disclose, as well as concerns regarding the consequences of disclosure. Clearly, disclosure (or the lack thereof) is an important phenomenon of the therapy endeavour. The chapters included in this book examine various aspects of the disclosure and concealment phenomena, whether from client or therapist perspective. Contributions examine the relationship of therapist self-disclosure to alliance and outcome; the phenomenon of therapist self-disclosure in psychodynamic therapy; client concealment and disclosure of secrets in therapy; young adults’ disclosures in psychotherapy and on Facebook; and lying in psychotherapy. Each offers intriguing insights into the disclosure, or lack of disclosure, in psychotherapy, from the therapist or client perspective. This book was originally published as a special issue of Counselling Psychology Quarterly.
Scholars have long argued that transparency makes international rule violations more visible and improves outcomes. Secrets in Global Governance revises this claim to show how equipping international organizations (IOs) with secrecy can be a critical tool for eliciting sensitive information and increasing cooperation. States are often deterred from disclosing information about violations of international rules by concerns of revealing commercially sensitive economic information or the sources and methods used to collect intelligence. IOs equipped with effective confidentiality systems can analyze and act on sensitive information while preventing its wide release. Carnegie and Carson use statistical analyses of new data, elite interviews, and archival research to test this argument in domains across international relations, including nuclear proliferation, international trade, justice for war crimes, and foreign direct investment. Secrets in Global Governance brings a groundbreaking new perspective to the literature of international relations.
Being a teen or tween isn't easy for anyone but it can be especially tough for Asperkids. Jennifer O'Toole knows; she was one! This book is a top secret guide to all of the hidden social rules in life that often seem strange and confusing to young people with Asperger syndrome. The Asperkid's (Secret) Book of Social Rules offers witty and wise insights into baffling social codes such as making and keeping friends, blending in versus standing out from the crowd, and common conversation pitfalls. Chock full of illustrations, logical explanations, and comic strip practice sessions, this is the handbook that every adult Aspie wishes they'd had growing up. Ideal for all 10-17 year olds with Asperger syndrome, this book provides inside information on over thirty social rules in bite-sized chunks that older children will enjoy, understand, and most importantly use daily to navigate the mysterious world around them.