The candid self-portrait of one of America's most famous ballerinas and a story of the high-pressure world of dance that brought the acclaimed dancer to a nightmare world of illness, drug addiction, and suicidal despair
“Who am I? I’m a man; an American, a father, a teacher, but most of all, I am a person who knows how the arts can change lives, because they transformed mine. I was a dancer.” In this rich, expansive, spirited memoir, Jacques d’Amboise, one of America’s most celebrated classical dancers, and former principal dancer with the New York City Ballet for more than three decades, tells the extraordinary story of his life in dance, and of America’s most renowned and admired dance companies. He writes of his classical studies beginning at the age of eight at The School of American Ballet. At twelve he was asked to perform with Ballet Society; three years later he joined the New York City Ballet and made his European debut at London’s Covent Garden. As George Balanchine’s protégé, d’Amboise had more works choreographed on him by “the supreme Ballet Master” than any other dancer, among them Tchaikovsky Pas de Deux; Episodes; A Midsummer’s Night’s Dream; Jewels; Raymonda Variations. He writes of his boyhood—born Joseph Ahearn—in Dedham, Massachusetts; his mother (“the Boss”) moving the family to New York City’s Washington Heights; dragging her son and daughter to ballet class (paying the teacher $7.50 from hats she made and sold on street corners, and with chickens she cooked stuffed with chestnuts); his mother changing the family name from Ahearn to her maiden name, d’Amboise (“It’s aristocratic. It has the ‘d’ apostrophe. It sounds better for the ballet, and it’s a better name”). We see him. a neighborhood tough, in Catholic schools being taught by the nuns; on the streets, fighting with neighborhood gangs, and taking ten classes a week at the School of American Ballet . . . being taught professional class by Balanchine and by other teachers of great legend: Anatole Oboukhoff, premier danseur of the Maryinsky; and Pierre Vladimiroff, Pavlova’s partner. D’Amboise writes about Balanchine’s succession of ballerina muses who inspired him to near-obsessive passion and led him to create extraordinary ballets, dancers with whom d’Amboise partnered—Maria Tallchief; Tanaquil LeClercq, a stick-skinny teenager who blossomed into an exquisite, witty, sophisticated “angel” with her “long limbs and dramatic, mysterious elegance . . .”; the iridescent Allegra Kent; Melissa Hayden; Suzanne Farrell, who Balanchine called his “alabaster princess,” her every fiber, every movement imbued with passion and energy; Kay Mazzo; Kyra Nichols (“She’s perfect,” Balanchine said. “Uncomplicated—like fresh water”); and Karin von Aroldingen, to whom Balanchine left most of his ballets. D’Amboise writes about dancing with and courting one of the company’s members, who became his wife for fifty-three years, and the four children they had . . . On going to Hollywood to make Seven Brides for Seven Brothers and being offered a long-term contract at MGM (“If you’re not careful,” Balanchine warned, “you will have sold your soul for seven years”) . . . On Jerome Robbins (“Jerry could be charming and complimentary, and then, five minutes later, attack, and crush your spirit—all to see how it would influence the dance movements”). D’Amboise writes of the moment when he realizes his dancing career is over and he begins a new life and new dream teaching children all over the world about the arts through the magic of dance. A riveting, magical book, as transformative as dancing itself.
Holly and Heather share their story and help to walk the reader through the painful yet necessary healing process for when life deals us its harshest blows. Dancing on my ashes soothes and empathizes with the broken heart, while sharing the truth of scripture, and the hope that comes from the heart of God.
From the co-author of I Would Find a Girl Walking and an award-winning true-crime television reporter comes the shocking story of Debbie Flores, a Las Vegas showgirl whose dreams of a dazzling career ended in a nightmare… Vivacious Debbie Flores was a college educated Washington Redskins cheerleader when she headed for “Sin City.” It was a smart move for the aspiring showgirl who’d soon be making her star-making solo debut at the legendary Luxor. But after the morning rehearsals of December 12, 2010, no one saw Debbie alive again. A cryptic text message she left for her mother led authorities to Debbie’s charismatic boyfriend, Jason “Blu” Griffith. A fellow Vegas dancer, Blu was hiding a terrible secret. It involved a rental van, bags of cement, two plastic tubs, and a handsaw. When the details of the crime unfolded, everyone asked: how could a girl with such passion and promise come to an end so violent and unexpected? In time, the truth would reveal a life more tumultuous than believed—and what exactly transpired on Debbie’s tragic final day would stun the nation. INCLUDES PHOTOS
The liberating power of anger has rarely felt so good and healing as in this complete collection of a landmark in feminist poetry."She digs her teeth into the slaveries of woman, she cries them aloud with such fulminating energy that the chains begin to melt of themselves. Reaching into the hive of her angers, she plucks out images of fear and delight that are transparent yet loaded with the darknesses of life. Diane Wakoski is an important and moving poet."--The New York TimesIn 1971, Diane Wakoski published The Motorcycle Betrayal Poems to tremendous acclaim. In the decades that followed, she wrote additional "betrayal" poems, which are now collected here in one volume for the first time. Relevant, moving--at times shocking--it is Wakoski's honesty and bravery as an artist that continues to astonish, delight, inspire, and liberate readers.Wakoski responds to betrayal in a variety of ways including fantasies such as drilling bullet holes into the bodies of unfaithful lovers. But even her anger can be winking, as in the book's sly dedication to "all those men who betrayed me at one time or another, in hopes they will fall off their motorcycles and break their necks." There is joy here because it is self-knowledge that the writer seeks, as in the collection's title poem: So some white wolves and I will sing on your grave, old man and dance for the joy of your death. "Is this an angry statement?" "No, it is a statement of joy." "Will the sun shine again?" "Yes, yes, yes," because I'm going to dance dance danceDiane Wakoski's art as a confessional, storytelling poet has rarely been equaled. Her revelations become shared emotional truth with readers. The collection's new introduction by poet and Green Mountains Review editor Elizabeth A. I. Powell gives context to the long wake of Wakoski's inspiring influence on generations of readers. Dancing on the Grave of a Son of a Bitch is for anyone who ever lost a love and wishes to embrace the freedom, rather than the pain, it can bring.
The shattering story of a dream which became a heartbreaking nightmare for one of America's most famous ballerinas, Gelsey Kirkland, who chronicles her brilliant start as a dancer with George Balanchine, her legendary partnership with Mikhail Baryshnikov, her agonizing descent into drugs, and her struggles to rise again. Photographs.
In Breaktime, Ditto challenges Morgan to prove that literature is crap and triggers off a chain of events to alter his outlook of life forever. Ditto faces a series of charges from Morgan against literature: that all fiction is Done. Finished. Dead; a sham and a pretence. He undertakes faithfully to record a life in the week of Ditto - with all the chaos of reality thrown in - and his literary creation reveals more about himself than he originally bargained for. In Dance on My Grave, life in his seaside town is uneventful for Hal Robinson, nothing unusual, exciting or odd ever happens to him - until now that is. Until the summer of his 16th birthday when he reaches a crossroads of choices in life. He foolishly takes a friend's boat for a day's sailing, gets into difficulty and is rescued by Barry Gorman. Their ensuing relationship results in a tumultous summer for Hal as he experiences the intense emotions of his first teenage love. A major new movie - 'Summer of 85' - based on Dance on My Grave, by groundbreaking French director Francois Ozon, was released in October 2020 to much acclaim. 'Deftly captures the thrill of first love' - NME 'A sweet gay romance that gradually morphs into something more suspenseful and macabre' - Daily Telegraph 'A film that will take you back to your first summer love' - The Gay UK
My earliest memories are only fear. A great hurting fear that made my heart as big as a pumpkin that welled up into my throat, choking me, dizzying my head, turning my legs to rubber. Fear of moving and making noise, fear of sleep that was invaded by terrible nightmares, fear of waking up to the daily beatings for wet beds, fear of the dark, fear of guns and knives, fear of loud noises, fear of making a mistake, fear of forgetting, fear of Mom going away, and most of all, fear of the constant presence we called Daddy. These are my oldest sister's words. Dancing on His Grave is a memoir set on an eastern Montana ranch between 1930 and 1955. My four sisters, my mother and I all contribute first person narrative to this story, along with excerpts from the extensive journals my mother kept throughout her life. It is the story of five sisters who survived unspeakable deprivation and abuse, sexual and physical, at the hands of our sadistic father. A friend gave me his strong opinion. As the psychologist for the prison in Deer Lodge, he said, I meet inmates with stories like yours all the time. What makes your story unique is the outcome. This story is not about him. This is about five little girls who literally survived him, excelled in school, married and raised families of normal, productive, contributing citizens. My father was not an alcoholic or drug addict. All his abuse was administered cold sober. I am convinced he was not mentally ill, in the legal or moral sense of the phrase. He knew right from wrong, but as a narcissistic sociopath, he believed that the world revolved around him, so the rules of decency that other people follow did not apply. The only rule he held himself to, was 'Don't get caught'. The state of being purely evil does not constitute mental illness. By my estimation, he was born without a conscience, and perhaps without a soul. The most important message of this story is the resilience and strength of the human spirit.