Why Cats are Assholes

Why Cats are Assholes

Author: Liz Miele

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

Published: 2021-03-30

Total Pages: 192

ISBN-13: 151075623X

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Most people love cats. They’re fluffy, playful, and can be a joy to have as a companion. However, they can also be huge assholes. So what can you do? How do you deal with a roommate who always seems to be plotting to kill you? While we all love sharing adorable photos of kittens, these frisky felines are known more for marching to the beat of their own drum than abiding by the rules. From running around your home at two in the morning, knocking everything off your shelves, or taking up most of your bed, these furry critters can be immensely selfish and disrespectful to those who give them endless love and affection. Why Cats Are Assholes is up for such a challenge. From studying their history all the way back to ancient Egypt, comedian Liz Miele—the daughter of veterinarians—digests the cat psyche to try and understand why they do the things they do, and how we, as their loyal servants, can handle domestic bliss with them around. With the help of her cat Pasta, Miele breaks down the common behaviors of cats in an attempt to try and better understand their plan of attack (if there is one), as well as what we can do to better prepare ourselves. Whether you have one, two, or twelve fur babies, Why Cats Are Assholes is the ultimate guide to better understanding your pet’s behavior while taking back your home from these domesticated terrorists.


Cats Are Jerks

Cats Are Jerks

Author: Kerri Wood Thomson

Publisher: Createspace Independent Publishing Platform

Published: 2016-10-25

Total Pages: 34

ISBN-13: 9781539757894

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Cats Are Jerks. They have been for thousands of years, barfing hairballs on marble floors and in sod huts, and waking your ancestors up at 3:00am. Cats will continue to be jerks for all eternity, but now you can color your stress and cat-hate away.Fun things to do with your copy of Cats Are Jerks: -Color and tape a drawing above your cat's food dish. -Plaster your cat-loving coworker's cubicle with your art work. -Frame each page and nail them on the ceiling above your bed. -Leave random colored cat pages in public places. -Donate 10,000 Cats Are Jerks books to your local animal shelter.


Cats Are Assholes

Cats Are Assholes

Author: Melody Seelye

Publisher:

Published: 2020-01-08

Total Pages: 52

ISBN-13: 9781657340312

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Cats are fuzzy cute little assholes. This journal prompts you to write down what your fuzzy little asshole did today. Each prompt also includes a real life thing that my own asshole cats have done to me. Write down anything you want in here. It is a lined journal to write your thoughts down on. Use this journal as a conversation piece on a coffee table if you want. Encourage your friends to write their own cat stories in this journal also. This journal can also be used as a notebook diary.


Cats Are A**holes

Cats Are A**holes

Author: Caitlin Peterson

Publisher: Castle Point Books

Published: 2022-06-14

Total Pages: 0

ISBN-13: 1250281776

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Grab the colored pencils and take a break from cleaning up your cat’s latest redecorating rampage to appreciate the bizarre-but-rewarding adventure of being a cat owner with Caitlin Peterson's coloring book Cats Are A**holes. Color your cat unimpressed Life with cats is never boring! From everyday mischief to absolute mayhem, these furry little jerks keep their owners and the millions of cat-video addicts on their toes. With Cats are A**holes, you can relive the laughter and trauma of every unanticipated pounce, usurped piece of furniture, and beloved-possession-turned-scratching post—or just enjoy a little schadenfreude—while you color your cares away. - Revel in 38 pages of all-too-relatable bad cat behavior - Color your way to calm acceptance while your cat throws up in your shoes—again - Create vibrant tributes to these clever, quirky, and commanding creatures (just as they would want) - Tear out and share your feline-centric masterpieces with your fellow cat lovers


My Cat Is an Asshole

My Cat Is an Asshole

Author: Hank Whitefoot

Publisher: Createspace Independent Publishing Platform

Published: 2016-06-05

Total Pages: 34

ISBN-13: 9781532827822

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Like any normal cat, Tobey wants love, affection and attention. Sometimes he shows this very well, other times he is an ass hole. Follow us on his journey as he shows his love and annoyance. You will discover how Tobey rubs his nasty lips on everything in sight, performs the one-leg salute and bugs the hell out of me.


Metal Cats

Metal Cats

Author: Alexandra Crockett

Publisher: powerHouse Books

Published: 2014-05-13

Total Pages: 140

ISBN-13: 1576877299

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Skulls and Siamese. Corpse paint and Persians. Baphomet, pentagrams, blood, and tabbies! Metal Cats combines two amazing subjects: the extreme personalities of the hardcore metal music scene and their adorable kitties. These incredibly cute and fluffy felines have been photographed with their loving owners in and around the dark abodes of musicians, fans, and promoters of metal including members of the bands Black Goat, Thrones, Isis, Lightning Swords of Death, Book of Black Earth, Skarp, Harassor, Akimbo, Aldebaran, Atriarch, Oak, Ghoul, Ludicra, Holy Grail, Xasthur, Cattle Decapitation, Murder Construct, Exhumed, Morbid Angel, Municipal Waste, Skeletonwitch, Gypsyhawk, Nausea, Phobia, and Napalm Death. Metal isn't all dark and disturbing, violent and misanthropic. Metal Cats is proof that while the music may be brutal, the people in the scene are softies for their pets just like you and me... A portion of the proceeds from this book and a series of benefit shows held along the West Coast will go towards one no-kill shelter in each of the four main cities visited.


The Cat Butt Coloring and Activity Book

The Cat Butt Coloring and Activity Book

Author: Val Brains

Publisher: Chronicle Books

Published: 2020-04-14

Total Pages: 0

ISBN-13: 9781452184548

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Cat Butt Coloring and Activity Book is packed with 45 scenes to color in and 20 hilarious activities, all featuring felines and their behinds proudly on display. With hilarious (and cute!) line drawings of cats with their hindquarters proudly on display, this adult coloring and activity book full of cat butts is as clever and carefree as its featured felines. Color in lasers shooting from an intergalactic cat butt, or a chill skater cat that isn't ashamed to hold his tail a little too high. Filled with hours of entertainment, this is a cat butt bonanza every cat lover can get behind. • Filled with word searches, crosswords, and word scrambles—even pin the tail on the cat butt • Packed with funny yet bizarrely cute line drawings • The perfect way to pay homage to our furry friends' backsides Anyone who is a cat lover—and all too familiar with a feline's tendency to show off its tush—will love this humorous book. Cat Butt Coloring and Activity Book is an updated and expanded edition, including 45 drawings and 20 activities with more detailed artwork and, of course, more cat butts. • Scribble away your stress and unleash all the colors of your creativity. • Perfect as a gift for cat lovers who have an irreverent sense of humor • Great for those who loved The Farting Animals Coloring Book by M T Lott, Why Cat Why: A Coloring Book Explaining Cats by Theo Nicole Lorenz, and Pooping Animals: A Funny Coloring Book for Adults by Honey Badger Coloring


Felines of New York

Felines of New York

Author: Jim Tews

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

Published: 2015-11-24

Total Pages: 240

ISBN-13: 1501125834

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Featuring more than 100 photos and quotes from cats in America’s most glamorous city, Felines of New York exposes the furry underbelly of New York City’s most glamorous, self-important residents. Where New York humans are accomplished, interesting, thoughtful, creative, and even sometimes tragic figures, the cats are simply cats. They do not stand in line for brunch, or have season tickets to the Met, or go indoor-rock climbing in Brooklyn. They do not shop at thrift stores or nibble finger sandwiches at the Russian Tea Room. And they certainly do not give a flying f*ck about the Yankees. No, the felines of New York bathe, purr, bask languidly in the sun, and occasionally cast baleful glances at the humans who provide them food and shelter. They are proof that behind every New Yorker, there lays a cat just waiting to destroy their IKEA futon and then eat their faces off when they die.


Dungeon Crawler Carl

Dungeon Crawler Carl

Author: Matt Dinniman

Publisher: Penguin Group

Published: 2024-08-27

Total Pages: 465

ISBN-13: 059382024X

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The apocalypse will be televised! Welcome to the first book in the wildly popular and addictive Dungeon Crawler Carl series by Matt Dinniman—now with bonus material exclusive to this print edition. You know what’s worse than breaking up with your girlfriend? Being stuck with her prize-winning show cat. And you know what’s worse than that? An alien invasion, the destruction of all man-made structures on Earth, and the systematic exploitation of all the survivors for a sadistic intergalactic game show. That’s what. Join Coast Guard vet Carl and his ex-girlfriend’s cat, Princess Donut, as they try to survive the end of the world—or just get to the next level—in a video game–like, trap-filled fantasy dungeon. A dungeon that’s actually the set of a reality television show with countless viewers across the galaxy. Exploding goblins. Magical potions. Deadly, drug-dealing llamas. This ain’t your ordinary game show. Welcome, Crawler. Welcome to the Dungeon. Survival is optional. Keeping the viewers entertained is not. Includes part one of the exclusive bonus story “Backstage at the Pineapple Cabaret.”


Swashbuckling Cats

Swashbuckling Cats

Author: Rhonda Parrish

Publisher: Tyche Books

Published: 2024-08-20

Total Pages: 0

ISBN-13: 9781989407783

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If you think cats and water don't mix, think again. Plunge into worlds of piratical cats: some selfish, some mischievous, all fond of hitting the catnip stash. From ships on the deep blue sea, to ships flying through the depths of space, and even visiting from beyond the veil, these cats are determined and on a mission. Featuring thirteen "tails" of adventure-loving cats, puns, and fun by: Megan Fennell; S.G. Wong; Rebecca Brae; Grace Bridges; Lizz Donnelly; Blake Liddell; Frances Pauli; JB Riley; Joseph Halden; Leslie Van Zwol; Krista D. Ball; Chadwick Ginther; Rose Strickman; and Beth Cato.