Charlee Frown must struggle to prevent a holiday known as BlackHearts Day from taking hold. But then she starts thinking, maybe it’s not so bad after all, because Valentine’s Day really sucks. She’s asked to star in a sappy Hall-mart Cards Valentine’s television special. But then she learns about the origin of Valentine’s Day, and the role of the Illuminati and Aleister Crowley in it…in cooperation with Hall-mart. Charlee is torn. What should she do? She just wants to be on TV! Can Valentine’s Day be saved? By the author of SinEaster and Merry XXXmas, Charlee Frown. Twisted Holiday Specials SinEaster Merry XXXmas, Charlee Frown BlackHearts Day
Like a naughty Easter version of The Nightmare Before Christmas mixed with Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. . . Don't let her habit of constantly wearing bunny ears fool you. Charlee hates Easter. And she has good reason to. So, on the day before her 18th birthday, she wasn't expecting to meet the Easter Bunny, a person-sized gummi egg, and a large toad. But that's what happens when she and two other teenagers are transported to Easter Land. Charlee ponders the teenage girl made out of gummi with huge boobs, and the teenage boy in a wheelchair with an overdeveloped upper body. A black-clad princess informs them that they must compete to decide which of the three creatures will be the future egg deliverer. But a mysterious man tied to a dark holiday known as SinEaster is also aware of the teens' arrival. Some say that in the days of prophesy, SinEaster will destroy Easter. Will Easter go on as usual, or will it be cancelled this year? By the author of Malice in Wonderland and Merry XXXmas, Charlee Frown. Twisted Holiday Specials SinEaster Merry XXXmas, Charlee Frown BlackHearts Day Keywords: free Easter book, holiday special parody
From the author of Dorothy vs. Alice comes this dementedly funny reimagining of the classic tale. Alice never left Wonderland. She's trapped. She's angry. And she wants revenge. The truth is not what you were led to believe. It wasn't all "just a dream." It's a nightmare. A nightmare she can't escape, where formerly pleasant characters throw her unhappy unbirthday parties to torment her, while others like to make her cry so they can lick her tears. But one day after years of this unpleasantness, she loses her heart. Literally. Well, technically someone steals it. And she has to get it back. By any means necessary. And it's a lot easier to be ruthless now that she's heartless. Alice is fed up with all the losers of Wonderland, from the goofy Mad Hatter to the bloodthirsty Cheshire Cat to the sadistic Queen of Hearts. And Alice is tired of being so sweet and innocent, with all her dimples. She used to be a preteen, but today is her 13th birthday, and she’ll be singing unhappy birthday loudly as she delivers violent justice! Yeah, she used to be so sweet you could die. Well, now they all shall die…literally. Yes, from now on, she shall deal death with two dimples and a giggled kill line. She’ll be a super cute Angel of Death! It may be 1865, but Alice is about to go medieval. She will have her heart returned to her even if she has to kill all the citizens of Wonderland one by one… Malice in Wonderland Saga Malice in Wonderland Prequel Malice in Wonderland #1: Alice the Assassin Malice in Wonderland #2: Alice the Angel of Death Malice In Wonderland #3: Alice the Girl Who Will Tear Your Heart Out and Show It To You Before You Die Malice Hates Fairy Tales Trilogy Jabberwocky Trilogy Dorothy vs. Alice Trilogy Keywords: Alice in Wonderland, Through the Looking Glass, Lewis Carroll, Lewis Carol, Cheshire Cat, Mad Hatter, Humpty Dumpty, Gregory Maguire, Coraline, twisted fairy tales, fairy tale retellings, reboot, horror, paranormal,fantasy, coming of age, teen, Jabberwock, Jabberwocky, Caterpillar, Tweedledum, Tweedledee, Red Queen, Queen of Hearts, Tim Burton, Serena Valentino, Wicked Queen, knight, steampunk, victorian, british, period piece, Dorothy Must Die, twisted tales, unbirthday
The dark comedy roller-coaster ride through Wonderland continues in the second trilogy in the Malice in Wonderland Saga. This time around, 15-year-old Queen Malice struggles to keep twisted fairy tale beings from entering Wonderland. But she also has to deal with troublesome romantic feelings, and a malfunctioning heart that leads to murderous rage. She’ll try not to kill too many creatures and people, though. Not-quite-right versions of Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty and even the Three Little Pigs make their appearances. And of course, her friends the Mad Hatter, Humpty Dumpty and even the Cheshire Cat are along for the adventure. All three volumes of the trilogy are collected here in one value-priced package! Here's the description from Malice Hates Fairy Tales #1: The Brothers Grimm are trying to unleash twisted fairy tale beings into Wonderland. 15-year-old Queen Malice doesn’t want to deal with them. But then Malice’s dear friend, the Mad Hatter, is kidnapped. So to save him, she’s forced to work with Cinderella, and ends up getting sucked into Fairy Tale Land. If things keep going this way, the fairy tales might eventually cross over into the outside world, where her twin, Alice, lives. Malice struggles to do the right thing, but her heart keeps malfunctioning, sending her into fits of maliciousness. Killing Cinderella would be bad, right? Malice in Wonderland Saga Malice in Wonderland Prequel Malice in Wonderland #1: Alice the Assassin Malice in Wonderland #2: Alice the Angel of Death Malice In Wonderland #3: Alice the Girl Who Will Tear Your Heart Out and Show It To You Before You Die Malice Hates Fairy Tales Trilogy Jabberwocky Trilogy
Malice and the team have arrived at Jabberwock Valley, where they hope to thwart the Snark’s diabolical plans. The times of prophesy are at hand, when great changes are in store for the jabberwocks. Soon, they may come under the rule of a new leader who shall lead them forward in conquest. They may even regain their ability to fly, if Malice and her team are successful. During the course of their adventures, Sleepy B seeks the truth about her mysterious past, while Jabby strives to regain his honor and his beloved vorpal blade. The two also further explore what exactly their strange relationship means. One thing is for certain. Lots of things are going to change very soon. The days of prophesy are at hand.
From the author of Dorothy vs. Alice comes this dementedly funny reimagining of the classic tale. Alice never left Wonderland. She's trapped. She's angry. And she wants revenge. The truth is not what you were led to believe. It wasn't all "just a dream." It's a nightmare. A nightmare she can't escape, where formerly pleasant characters throw her unhappy unbirthday parties to torment her, while others like to make her cry so they can lick her tears. But one day after years of this unpleasantness, she loses her heart. Literally. Well, technically someone steals it. And she has to get it back. By any means necessary. And it's a lot easier to be ruthless now that she's heartless. Alice is fed up with all the losers of Wonderland, from the goofy Mad Hatter to the bloodthirsty Cheshire Cat to the sadistic Queen of Hearts. And Alice is tired of being so sweet and innocent, with all her dimples. She used to be a preteen, but today is her 13th birthday, and she’ll be singing unhappy birthday loudly as she delivers violent justice! Yeah, she used to be so sweet you could die. Well, now they all shall die…literally. Yes, from now on, she shall deal death with two dimples and a giggled kill line. She’ll be a super cute Angel of Death! It may be 1865, but Alice is about to go medieval. She will have her heart returned to her even if she has to kill all the citizens of Wonderland one by one… Malice in Wonderland Saga Malice in Wonderland Prequel Malice in Wonderland #1: Alice the Assassin Malice in Wonderland #2: Alice the Angel of Death Malice In Wonderland #3: Alice the Girl Who Will Tear Your Heart Out and Show It To You Before You Die Malice Hates Fairy Tales Trilogy Jabberwocky Trilogy Dorothy vs. Alice Trilogy Keywords: free Alice in Wonderland, Through the Looking Glass, Lewis Carroll, Lewis Carol, Cheshire Cat, Mad Hatter, Humpty Dumpty, Gregory Maguire, Coraline, twisted fairy tales, fairy tale retellings, reboot, horror, paranormal,fantasy, coming of age, teen, Jabberwock, Jabberwocky, Caterpillar, Tweedledum, Tweedledee, Red Queen, Queen of Hearts, Tim Burton, Serena Valentino, Wicked Queen, knight, steampunk, victorian, british, period piece, Dorothy Must Die,parody, Through the Looking Glass, The Hunting of the Snark
In volume 2 of the Faerie Brace-Face Series, the faebots are working hard to revive Cabby’s high school nemesis, Mackenzie, by downloading her data into the new faebot leader, who they’re calling the “Mackenzie Aspirant.” That’s because she wants to become Mackenzie, just so she can ruin Cabby’s life. Cabby and Darren struggle to find out where the data is being stored, so they can erase it before the faebots get to it. Because the last thing Cabby wants is all the drama that girl would bring into her life. She’d rather focus on her relationship with Darren, and, meanwhile, Darren would like to focus on Cabby, because he yearns to give her a ring to show how much she means to him. But rings are hard to come by in the world they find themselves in. The Faerie Brace-Face Trilogy Faerie Brace-Face Revenge of the Faebots The Return of Mackenzie
The decapitated Jabberwock’s head is still functional—he just needs a new body. 15-year-old Queen Malice wants to help her buddy, Jabby, as she likes to call him. And so she plans a quest to Jabberwock Valley, where most of the other jabberwocks live. But Jabby isn’t the only one they must help. Wonderland itself is in danger, because a creature known as the Snark threatens to reunite the monster tribes and revive a realm known as Woeland. So Malice works on assembling a team. Of course, the Mad Hatter, Humpty, and the Cheshire Cat will tag along. But the Knight still has a crippling fear of little girls. There are other complications. 11-year-old Sleeping Beauty wants to go on the quest as well. But most jabberwocks hate little girls. Jabberwock mothers even sing their babies “little-girls-goodbyes,” which are like lullabies, except gorier. Malice also struggles with the intoxicating effects of the black rose. She finds herself taking more of the flower each day, and it’s becoming harder to stop. Will they be able to thwart the Snark? And who is the mysterious “secret admirer” who sends Malice creepy notes via pigeon? And can she prove to the Knight that she no longer has any “little girlness” inside of her, by going through a series of the Knight’s anti-little-girl challenges? Because it’s the only way he’ll join the team. And they’ll need a lot of help if they ever hope to stop the Snark and survive their journey to Jabberwock Valley. Keywords: free Jabberwocky, jabberwock, Hunting of the Snark, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, free Alice in Wonderland free, Through the Looking Glass, book, ebook
Dorothy (of Oz) and Alice (of Wonderland) used to be lovers. But that was in the past. Sometimes though, the past has a way of coming back to haunt you. In Alice’s case, that way is a tornado summoned to snatch her from the Outside World and bring her back to Munchkinland. Alice has absolutely no intention of getting back together with Dorothy. You see, Dorothy has changed…into a pervert, a sadistic chief of the munchkin tribes, and an all around unreasonable beast! She has the audacity to ask Alice to rule by her side, keeps talking about magical sexual powers that Alice possesses… Alice wants no part of it, demands to be sent back home, and that’s when the completely unreasonable Dorothy throws Alice into some sort of twisted game that’s designed to end in a duel to the death with the Scarecrow! You wouldn’t think that would be the way Dorothy would want to woo Alice, but it is. Dorothy seems to think it’ll somehow prove how much she loves Alice, in some sort of twisted logic. See, Dorothy thinks of it as a heartfelt sacrifice of one of her favorite servants to Alice and feels that as she and Alice go through the challenges of the game together, they’ll somehow end up bonding. Alice doesn’t want to be hurt by Dorothy again and really wants nothing more to do with her. But despite all her protestations, psycho Dorothy manipulates the situation so Alice has no choice but to go along with the game. Alice wonders what she ever saw in her. She hopes she won’t end up having to kill her former crush. Keywords: free Alice in Wonderland, Through the Looking Glass, Dorothy Must Die, Wizard of Oz, Cheshire Cat, Mad Hatter, Dorothy Gale, Baum, Wicked, Gregory Maguire
Twisted fairy tale beings have been unleashed into Wonderland, and Queen Malice wants to kick them out. But the man known as the Storyteller wants to make a sick game of it all. So he sets up a series of challenges in which Malice and the Queen of Hearts must go up against the fairy tales. It’s a demented and deadly game, in which Malice risks losing those she cherishes most—the Mad Hatter, Humpty, and the Tweedle Twins. Saving Wonderland from fairy tale infestation isn’t going to be easy. Malice in Wonderland Saga Malice in Wonderland Prequel Malice in Wonderland #1: Alice the Assassin Malice in Wonderland #2: Alice the Angel of Death Malice In Wonderland #3: Alice the Girl Who Will Tear Your Heart Out and Show It To You Before You Die Malice Hates Fairy Tales Trilogy Jabberwocky Trilogy
