Bad Choices Make Good Stories: The Strange True Story of the First Influencer

Bad Choices Make Good Stories: The Strange True Story of the First Influencer

Author: Oliver Markus Malloy

Publisher: Bookmaester

Published: 2020-07-27

Total Pages: 730

ISBN-13:

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Special Anniversary Omnibus: Get all three books for the price of one! _____ Part 1: Going to New York _____ The strange true story of the first influencer. Oliver, a hacker living in Germany, meets Donna online. She's an American girl living in New York. After chatting and talking on the phone for months, he finally decides to surprise her with a visit. But he soon finds out that things are not what they appeared to be, and that this visit will change his life forever. “Nobody has ever killed themselves over a broken arm. But every day, thousands of people kill themselves because of a broken heart. Why? Because emotional pain hurts much worse than physical pain.” -Oliver Markus Malloy, Bad Choices Make Good Stories “Don't ever think you're better than a drug addict, because your brain works the same as theirs. You have the same circuits. And drugs would affect your brain in the same way it affects theirs. The same thought process that makes them screw up over and over again would make you screw up over and over as well, if you were in their shoes. You probably already are doing it, just not with heroin or crack, but with food or cigarettes, or something else you shouldn't be doing.” -Oliver Markus Malloy, Bad Choices Make Good Stories "A must read. One of those rare books that sucks you in from the first to the last page." ★★★★★ - Amazon Review _____ Part 2: The Heroin Scene in Fort Myers _____ America has a heroin problem. Oliver moves from New York to Florida. Battling with depression, he gets sucked into the seedy underworld of Fort Myers, where he encounters a number of female drug addicts. He empathizes with them because of his own traumatic past. Oliver feels compelled to try to help them escape the addict lifestyle, but learns the hard way that he is in way over his head. "A truly fascinating and unexpected look at the darker side of addiction." ★★★★★ - A. Allyson, Goodreads _____ Part 3: Finding Happiness in Los Angeles _____ If you're a fan of Dave Chappelle or John Oliver, you'll love this book. After writing a book about his bizarre adventures in America's underbelly, Oliver finally finds love among his readers on Goodreads. "I think it will become a standard for people who are dealing with loved ones struggling with addictions." ★★★★★ - B. Bridges, Amazon Review Dear Reader, You're a little late to the party. Where the hell have you been? This is already the third and final part of the trilogy, and you're only joining us now? Tsk tsk tsk. Let me get you up to speed on what you've missed so far: In book one, Going to New York, you missed the utterly fascinating, nay spellbinding saga of me growing up in Germany and later emigrating to New York. I was a brooding, troubled teenage hacker. Wow! Good stuff! It's almost like my life was the perfect kind of crazy to make a really awesome book! Anyway, being a teenage hacker came in handy later in life. I went from rags to riches thanks to my keen understanding of technology and how to use the web to my advantage. In New York I was married to Donna, a girl I had met online. She was an agoraphobic, prone to temper tantrums. And fun was had by all, which led to a divorce 16 years later. That's where the story gets really interesting. I began dating. It didn't go well. I was no good at it. OK, truth be told, I was really bad at it. Apparently I had terrible taste in women. A heroin-addicted hooker named Alice broke my heart and robbed me of my will to live. Doesn't sound very fun, does it? But it's a fun read, I promise. Dark, but fun. Mesmerizing even! Brokenhearted, I moved from New York to Florida. That's where the first book ends. The second book you missed (I'm not mad at you. I'm just disappointed.) is called The Heroin Scene in Fort Myers, which is a very fitting title, believe me. Sometimes I'm a slow learner, so I dated my way through the heroin scene in Florida, and I couldn't figure out for years why I wasn't finding any wife material. But oh how I tried. And tried. In all the wrong places. Pretty sad. I'm not proud of it. After years of sad pathetic sex with heroin addicts I was a wreck. My younger self wouldn't have even recognized me. Lucy and Veronica had turned me into a broken, humiliated shell of a man. My heart had been ripped out of my chest so many times, it was a miracle I hadn't killed myself yet. (Seriously, it's a fun read. I promise!) At the end of the book I had it up to here with heroin addicts. I told myself never again would I let myself be sucked in by the sweet lies of manipulative, fake love. The name of the final chapter was NO MO HO. No more whores. I needed to change my life before my life was going to kill me. I hopped on a plane, back to my native Germany, to lick my wounds and heal before returning to America. That's where the second book ended. And now, for our third and final act...


Bad Choices Make Good Stories

Bad Choices Make Good Stories

Author: Oliver Markus Malloy

Publisher: Bookmaester

Published: 2017-07-14

Total Pages: 183

ISBN-13:

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The strange true story of the first influencer Oliver, a hacker living in Germany, meets Donna online. She's an American girl living in New York. After chatting and talking on the phone for months, he finally decides to surprise her with a visit. But he soon finds out that things are not what they appeared to be, and that this visit will change his life forever. “Nobody has ever killed themselves over a broken arm. But every day, thousands of people kill themselves because of a broken heart. Why? Because emotional pain hurts much worse than physical pain.” -Oliver Markus Malloy, Bad Choices Make Good Stories “Don't ever think you're better than a drug addict, because your brain works the same as theirs. You have the same circuits. And drugs would affect your brain in the same way it affects theirs. The same thought process that makes them screw up over and over again would make you screw up over and over as well, if you were in their shoes. You probably already are doing it, just not with heroin or crack, but with food or cigarettes, or something else you shouldn't be doing.” -Oliver Markus Malloy, Bad Choices Make Good Stories "A must read. One of those rare books that sucks you in from the first to the last page." ★★★★★ - Amazon Review (Alternate cover edition)


Bad Choices Make Good Stories: Going to New York

Bad Choices Make Good Stories: Going to New York

Author: Oliver Markus Malloy

Publisher:

Published: 2017-10-10

Total Pages:

ISBN-13: 9781389528750

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The incredible true story of a teenage hacker from Germany who goes to New York, looking for love. What could possibly go wrong? Bad Choices Make Good Stories is a darkly funny coming-of-age novel based on true events. Oliver, a teenage hacker living in Germany, meets Donna online. She's an American girl living in New York. After chatting and talking on the phone for months, he finally decides to surprise her with a visit. But he soon finds out that things are not what they appeared to be, and that this visit will change his life forever.


Bad Choices Make Good Stories 3 - Finding Happiness in Los Angeles

Bad Choices Make Good Stories 3 - Finding Happiness in Los Angeles

Author: Oliver Markus Malloy

Publisher:

Published: 2018-03-28

Total Pages:

ISBN-13: 9781388697655

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The strange true story of a writer who falls in love with one of his readers and meets his future wife on Goodreads. Dear Reader,You're a little late to the party. Where the hell have you been? This is already the third and final part of the trilogy, and you're only joining us now? Tsk tsk tsk.Let me get you up to speed on what you've missed so far:In book one, Going to New York, you missed the utterly fascinating, nay spellbinding saga of me growing up in Germany and later emigrating to New York. I was a brooding, troubled teenage hacker. Wow! Good stuff! It's almost like my life was the perfect kind of crazy to make a really awesome book!Anyway, being a teenage hacker came in handy later in life. I went from rags to riches thanks to my keen understanding of technology and how to use the web to my advantage.In New York I was married to Donna, a girl I had met online. She was an agoraphobic, prone to temper tantrums. And fun was had by all, which led to a divorce 16 years later. That's where the story gets really interesting.I began dating. It didn't go well. I was no good at it. OK, truth be told, I was really bad at it. Apparently I had terrible taste in women. A heroin-addicted hooker named Alice broke my heart and robbed me of my will to live. Doesn't sound very fun, does it? But it's a fun read, I promise. Dark, but fun. Mesmerizing even!Brokenhearted, I moved from New York to Florida. That's where the first book ends.The second book you missed (I'm not mad at you. I'm just disappointed.) is called The Heroin Scene in Fort Myers, which is a very fitting title, believe you me.Sometimes I'm a slow learner, so I dated my way through the heroin scene in Florida, and I couldn't figure out for years why I wasn't finding any wife material. But oh how I tried. And tried. In all the wrong places. Pretty sad. I'm not proud of it.After years of sad pathetic sex with heroin addicts I was a wreck. My younger self wouldn't have even recognized me. Lucy


Bad Choices Make Good Stories

Bad Choices Make Good Stories

Author: Oliver Markus Malloy

Publisher:

Published: 2018-01-18

Total Pages: 426

ISBN-13: 9781947258082

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A raw, uncensored and brutally honest glimpse into the crazy lives of drug addicts. Shocking, heart-breaking and mesmerizing. Once you start reading, you won't be able to stop. Oliver moves from New York to Florida. Battling with depression, he gets sucked into the seedy underworld of Fort Myers, where he encounters a number of female drug addicts. He empathizes with them because of his own traumatic past. Oliver feels compelled to try to help them escape the addict lifestyle, but he soon finds out that he is in way over his head.


Look at Me!

Look at Me!

Author: Jonathan Reiss

Publisher: Hachette Books

Published: 2020-06-09

Total Pages: 288

ISBN-13: 0306845415

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A compelling biography of SoundCloud sensation and rising star XXXTENTACION -- from his candid songwriting and connection with fans to his tragic death. At the age of twenty, rapper Jahseh Dwayne Onfroy-aka XXXTENTACION-was gunned down during an attempted robbery on the streets of Deerfield Beach, Florida, mere months after signing a $10 million record deal with Empire Music. A rising star in the world of SoundCloud rap, XXXTENTACION achieved stellar levels of success without the benefit of a major label or radio airtime, and flourished via his passionate and unfettered connection to his fans. In Look at Me!, journalist Jonathan Reiss charts the tumultuous life and unguarded songwriting of the SoundCloud sensation. Unlike most rap on the platform, XXXTENTACION's music didn't dwell on money, partying, and getting high. He wrote about depression, suicide, and other mental health issues, topics that led to an outpouring of posthumous appreciation from his devoted fanbase. It was XXXTENTACION's vulnerability that helped him stand apart from artists obsessed with being successful and "cool." Yet these insecurities also stemmed from-and contributed to-his fair share of troubles, including repeated run-ins with the law during his teen years, a disturbing proclivity toward violence, and a prison sentence that overlapped with the release of his first single. Through the memories of the people who knew him best, Look at Me! maps out the true story of an unlikely cultural icon and elucidates what it was about him that touched the post-millennial generation so deeply.


No One Is Talking About This

No One Is Talking About This

Author: Patricia Lockwood

Publisher: Penguin

Published: 2021-02-16

Total Pages: 224

ISBN-13: 0593189604

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FINALIST FOR THE 2021 BOOKER PRIZE & A NEW YORK TIMES TOP 10 BOOK OF 2021 WINNER OF THE DYLAN THOMAS PRIZE “A book that reads like a prose poem, at once sublime, profane, intimate, philosophical, witty and, eventually, deeply moving.” —New York Times Book Review, Editors’ Choice “Wow. I can’t remember the last time I laughed so much reading a book. What an inventive and startling writer…I’m so glad I read this. I really think this book is remarkable.” —David Sedaris From "a formidably gifted writer" (The New York Times Book Review), a book that asks: Is there life after the internet? As this urgent, genre-defying book opens, a woman who has recently been elevated to prominence for her social media posts travels around the world to meet her adoring fans. She is overwhelmed by navigating the new language and etiquette of what she terms "the portal," where she grapples with an unshakable conviction that a vast chorus of voices is now dictating her thoughts. When existential threats--from climate change and economic precariousness to the rise of an unnamed dictator and an epidemic of loneliness--begin to loom, she posts her way deeper into the portal's void. An avalanche of images, details, and references accumulate to form a landscape that is post-sense, post-irony, post-everything. "Are we in hell?" the people of the portal ask themselves. "Are we all just going to keep doing this until we die?" Suddenly, two texts from her mother pierce the fray: "Something has gone wrong," and "How soon can you get here?" As real life and its stakes collide with the increasingly absurd antics of the portal, the woman confronts a world that seems to contain both an abundance of proof that there is goodness, empathy, and justice in the universe, and a deluge of evidence to the contrary. Fragmentary and omniscient, incisive and sincere, No One Is Talking About This is at once a love letter to the endless scroll and a profound, modern meditation on love, language, and human connection from a singular voice in American literature.


Big Time

Big Time

Author: Jen Spyra

Publisher: Random House Trade Paperbacks

Published: 2022-07-05

Total Pages: 321

ISBN-13: 198485528X

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The debut collection of raucous, dark, strange, satirical stories from the former Late Show with Stephen Colbert writer and New Yorker contributor, featuring a foreword by Stephen Colbert “Jen Spyra’s stories are shocking, silly, smart, and absurdly funny. Underline both those words, I don’t care how much it costs!”—Tina Fey A bride so desperate to get in shape for her wedding that she enrolls in a new kind of workout program that promises the moon but costs more than she bargained for. A snowman who, on the wish of a child, comes to life in a decidedly less savory way than in the childhood classic. And in the title story, a time-hopping 1940s starlet tries to claw her way to the top in modern-day Hollywood, despite being ridiculously unwoke. In this uproarious, addictive debut, Jen Spyra takes a culture that seems almost beyond parody and holds it up to a funhouse mirror, immersing the reader in a world of prehistoric influencers, woodland creatures plagued by millennial neuroses, and an all-out birthday bash determined to be the most lavish celebration of all time, by any means necessary. Welcome, brave soul, to the world of Jen Spyra.