Babies Ruin Everything
Author: Matthew Swanson
Publisher: Macmillan
Published: 2016-07-19
Total Pages: 44
ISBN-13: 1250080576
DOWNLOAD EBOOK"A big sister becomes convinced her new baby brother is ruining everything"--
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Babies Ruin Everything
Author: Matthew Swanson
Publisher: Imprint
Published: 2016-07-19
Total Pages: 40
ISBN-13: 1250085977
DOWNLOAD EBOOKMeet the baby who ruins everything, and the big sister who learns to love him. Together, they make this laugh out loud picture book the perfect gift for new siblings and baby showers! The baby can't stand on one foot. He can't throw a Frisbee. And he can't whistle! Even big-head Benny Hogarth can whistle, and he already lost his front teeth! So says a spunky little girl who thinks her new baby brother is ruining EVERYTHING: wrecking her room, drooling all over her toys, and throwing a wrench in her birthday party plans. But when she opens her heart, this big sister realizes she might be the real problem-the baby's just a baby, after all. Maybe all he needs is a better big sister. Tall kids, small kids, and parents alike will laugh through this funny and sweet tale of learning how wonderful-and lucky-it is to have a new sibling. An Imprint book
Your Children Are Boring
Author: Tom James
Publisher: Independently Published
Published: 2020-02-06
Total Pages: 100
ISBN-13: 9781712629970
DOWNLOAD EBOOK"The funniest book of the year" Are you sick of a society that seems obsessed with children? Do you find modern parents insufferable? Your Children Are Boring is a uniquely humorous look at our culture's obsession with children, a world where virtually every advert has a squawking child in it, where pubs are full of wailing infants, and where every other Facebook post is tagged #ProudDad. Why do parents themselves behave like infants? Why having a child doesn't make you less selfish, why it's extremely unlikely that your child is in fact, 'special', and why modern parenting is ruining everything, not least the kids themselves. All the answers lie within, and it's your duty to read it. Yes, Your Children Are Boring will make you laugh, but it's much more than that. Once consumed you must take its teachings into the world and fix society. Or something. Oh and if you put 'Dad' or 'Mum' in your social media bios, this book is aimed at you. An excerpt from Your Children Are Boring: "There are more radical solutions available to us of course. I take my lead from the way we've societally turned smokers into pariahs at pubs. Let's create family areas in the pubs! Imagine, roped off areas out the back, covered in sick, where the tables are made of plastic rather than wood, soundproofed so we don't have to listen to you loudly slow-talking, or the baby crying. Or you could just go to McDonalds, which is where the kids want to be anyway. And that's another thing; does anyone think these kids want to go to a pub? They're not renowned for their rides and pits of plastic balls. But perhaps that's just a matter of time. We'll inevitably infantilise getting smashed like we seem intent on doing to everything else. You want it all don't you, your spoilt little brain thinks, 'I've had a child, but that doesn't mean I should modify my life. I still want pub, so baby come to pub!' Kids should be, and probably are, bored out of their tiny minds at pubs. It's where grown-ups go to bitch about their friends' new kitchen or boyfriend / girlfriend, not a playground, that's why they're full of glass, fruit machines and sharp edges. If we can be a little melodramatic though, you're a virus. You're ruining pubs like you ruined football and the cinema, colonising it like the most boring invading army in history armed with iPhones and Kleenex."
Everywhere, Wonder
Author: Matthew Swanson
Publisher: Macmillan
Published: 2017-02-07
Total Pages: 50
ISBN-13: 1250087953
DOWNLOAD EBOOK"A book for all ages about noticing the wonder and beauty in the world both near and far"--
The Real McCoys
Author: Matthew Swanson
Publisher:
Published: 2017-11-07
Total Pages: 338
ISBN-13: 1250098521
DOWNLOAD EBOOKElementary school detective Moxie McCoy looks for a missing school mascot and a new best friend, with the help of her annoying little brother.
Ten Ways to Destroy the Imagination of Your Child
Author: Anthony Esolen
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Published: 2023-07-18
Total Pages: 213
ISBN-13: 1684516579
DOWNLOAD EBOOKPlay dates, soccer practice, day care, political correctness, drudgery without facts, television, video games, constant supervision, endless distractions: these and other insidious trends in child rearing and education are now the hallmarks of childhood. As author Anthony Esolen demonstrates in this elegantly written, often wickedly funny book, almost everything we are doing to children now constricts their imaginations, usually to serve the ulterior motives of the constrictors. Ten Ways to Destroy the Imagination of Your Child takes square aim at these accelerating trends, in a bitingly witty style reminiscent of C. S. Lewis, while offering parents—and children—hopeful alternatives. Esolen shows how imagination is snuffed out at practically every turn: in the rearing of children almost exclusively indoors; in the flattening of love to sex education, and sex education to prurience and hygiene; in the loss of traditional childhood games; in the refusal to allow children to organize themselves into teams; in the effacing of the glorious differences between the sexes; in the dismissal of the power of memory, which creates the worst of all possible worlds in school—drudgery without even the merit of imparting facts; in the strict separation of the child’s world from the adult’s; and in the denial of the transcendent, which places a low ceiling on the child’s developing spirit and mind. But Esolen doesn’t stop at pointing out the problem; he offers clear solutions as well. With charming stories from his own boyhood and an assist from the master authors and thinkers of the Western tradition, Ten Ways to Destroy the Imagination of Your Child is a welcome respite from the overwhelming banality of contemporary culture. Interwoven throughout this indispensable guide to child rearing is a rich tapestry of the literature, music, art, and thought that once enriched the lives of American children. Ten Ways to Destroy the Imagination of Your Child confronts contemporary trends in parenting and schooling by reclaiming lost traditions. This practical, insightful book is essential reading for any parent who cares about the paltry thing that childhood has become, and who wants to give a child something beyond the dull drone of today’s culture.
The Real McCoys: Two's a Crowd
Author: Matthew Swanson
Publisher: Imprint
Published: 2018-11-06
Total Pages: 171
ISBN-13: 125023249X
DOWNLOAD EBOOKThe sequel to the critically acclaimed The Real McCoys! When a baffling mystery strikes Tiddlywhump Elementary, sibling detectives and absolute opposites Moxie and Milton McCoy are on the case. She's the doer. He's the thinker. She's the heart. He's her heartburn. Moxie's friend Emily has received a suspicious letter signed with nothing but a sinister purple squiggle. Then more letters arrive—along with more questions. Who sent them? What do they mean? Is the world on the brink of collapse? Milton and Moxie are the perfect problem-solving team...if only they could get along.When their partnership falls apart, Moxie races to identify the mysterious Squiggler first—while learning the hard way that two McCoys really are better than one. With energetic illustrations on every page, Matthew Swanson and Robbi Behr's Two's a Crowd is a vivaciously funny and irresistibly heartfelt mystery for young readers. An Imprint Book "A marvelous standalone sequel that will inspire random acts of kindness." —School Library Journal, starred review "An outstanding, truly unique reading experience." —Booklist Praise for The Real McCoys: "Readers will breeze through this ingenious combination of text and art, eager for Moxie and Milton’s next case." —School Library Journal, starred review "Swanson’s witty text is enhanced exponentially by Behr’s bold, original artwork to create a uniquely told whodunit with wide appeal ... An exceptional book." —Booklist, starred review "Delightfully topsy-turvy...readers will hope to see more of both siblings soon." —Publishers Weekly, starred review "An exceptional middle-grade read packed with giggles for young sleuths who love to explore a little off the beaten path." —Kirkus Reviews “An ingenious new series...an innovative reading experience that surprises and delights. Wordplay, witty descriptions and visual jokes abound.” —The Washington Post "Swanson and Behr have created a gem with this hilarious elementary-level read with graphic novel tendencies." —The Bulletin of the Center for Children's Books "This clever, funny, delightful book is just what this crazy world needs. The surprising and inventive interaction between text and illustration shows that two brains are, indeed, better than one--especially when they belong to Matthew Swanson and Robbi Behr." —Andrea Beaty, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Ada Twist Scientist A Junior Library Guild Selection
Indestructibles: Baby, Let's Eat!
Author: Amy Pixton
Publisher: Workman Publishing
Published: 2018-04-03
Total Pages: 12
ISBN-13: 152350207X
DOWNLOAD EBOOKBooks babies can really sink their gums into! INDESTRUCTIBLES are built for the way babies "read": with their hands and mouths. INDESTRUCTIBLES won't rip or tear and are 100% washable. They're made for baby to hold, grab, chew, pull, and bend. What green vegetable looks like a tree? Broccoli! Can you find a fruit that's small and yellow? Lemon! Can you pick out two berries so red and sweet? Raspberry and strawberry! Explore a rainbow of delicious foods in a book that's INDESTRUCTIBLE. Also available in bilingual English-Spanish.
Sunrise Summer
Author: Matthew Swanson
Publisher: Imprint
Published: 2021-04-20
Total Pages: 27
ISBN-13: 1250793440
DOWNLOAD EBOOKSunrise Summer is a picture book by writer Matthew Swanson and illustrator Robbi Behr that celebrates self-confidence and empowerment, as a girl’s role changes in her family’s fishing expeditions. When a girl and her family travel four thousand miles from home, it’s not your typical summer vacation. Everything is different on the Alaskan tundra—where the grizzly bears roam and the sockeye salmon swim—including the rules. A girl can do things she wouldn’t, and couldn’t, do at home. She can wake up at midnight to work with her mom on a fishing crew. She can learn what it means to be an essential part of a team. She can become a braver, stronger, and ever-more capable version of herself. She can take her next big step. She’s ready for her first real sunrise. An Imprint Book
Elevating Child Care
Author: Janet Lansbury
Publisher: Rodale Books
Published: 2024-04-30
Total Pages: 177
ISBN-13: 0593736168
DOWNLOAD EBOOKA modern parenting classic—a guide to a new and gentle way of understanding the care and nurture of infants, by the internationally renowned childcare expert, podcaster, and author of No Bad Kids “An absolute go-to for all parents, therapists, anyone who works with, is, or knows parents of young children.”—Wendy Denham, PhD A Resources for Infant Educarers (RIE) teacher and student of pioneering child specialist Magda Gerber, Janet Lansbury helps parents look at the world through the eyes of their infants and relate to them as whole people who have natural abilities to learn without being taught. Once we are able to view our children in this light, even the most common daily parenting experiences become stimulating opportunities to learn, discover, and connect with our child. A collection of the most-read articles from Janet’s popular and long-running blog, Elevating Child Care focuses on common infant issues, including: • Nourishing our babies’ healthy eating habits • Calming your clingy, fearful child • How to build your child’s focus and attention span • Developing routines that promote restful sleep Eschewing the quick-fix tips and tricks of popular parenting culture, Lansbury’s gentle, insightful guidance lays the foundation for a closer, more fulfilling parent-child relationship, and children who grow up to be authentic, confident, successful adults.
