I thoroughly enjoyed the opportunity to share the lighter side of airport and aviation employees. The vast majority of people I encountered at the airport [from all classes and careers], enjoyed humor. Additionally, I found that the average person can recognize the difference between fact and fiction, truth and lies and more importantly, humor versus sarcasm. As I mentioned earlier, humor has been determined to be a stress reducer, and often, a means of increasing morale. Remember, I referred to actual passengers and employees in trying to encourage the innocent while protecting the guilty.
In Airplane Reading, Christopher Schaberg and Mark Yakich bring together a range of essays about air travel. Discerning and full of wonder, this prismatic collection features perspectives from a variety of writers, airline workers, and everyday travelers. At turns irreverent, philosophical, and earnest, each essay is a veritable journey in and of itself. And together, they illuminate the at once strange and ordinary world of flight. Contributors: Lisa Kay Adam • Sarah Allison • Jane Armstrong • Thomas Beller • Ian Bogost • Alicia Catt • Laura Cayouette • Kim Chinquee • Lucy Corin • Douglas R. Dechow • Nicoletta-Laura Dobrescu • Tony D’Souza • Jeani Elbaum • Pia Z. Ehrhardt • Roxane Gay • Thomas Gibbs • Aaron Gilbreath • Anne Gisleson • Anya Groner • Julian Hanna • Rebecca Renee Hess • Susan Hodara • Pam Houston • Harold Jaffe • Chelsey Johnson • Nina Katchadourian • Alethea Kehas • Greg Keeler • Alison Kinney • Anna Leahy • Allyson Goldin Loomis • Jason Harrington • Kevin Haworth • Randy Malamud • Dustin Michael • Ander Monson • Timothy Morton • Peter Olson • Christiana Z. Peppard • Amanda Pleva • Arthur Plotnik • Neal Pollack • Connie Porter • Stephen Rea • Hugo Reinert • Jack Saux • Roger Sedarat • Nicole Sheets • Stewart Sinclair • Hal Sirowitz • Jess Stoner • Anca L. Szilágyi • Priscila Uppal • Matthew Vollmer • Joanna Walsh • Tarn Wilson
On a nice little De Havilland twin prop, Toronto to Baltimore: "Okay, so we have fifteen of you today. Anyone not flown before? Good. No virgins. Then I'll do the short version. Exits over the wings, life jackets beneath the seats, oxygen masks drop out of the ceiling, put them on in the usual fashion. Seats up. Belts on. Read the cards. Enjoy your flight. Questions?" You're traveling too much when you see the same flight attendant twice in the same day. Tower: "Cleared to land; winds 270 at 21, gusting 29, heavy rain, severe turbulence below 300, RVR (runway visual range) 2,000 feet." Pilot: "Roger. Cleared to land; and Oh, let us know if it gets any worse." Tower: "Worse?" Jet Lag: "Wallet in refrigerator. Where's the milk?" "Delta Airlines is pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight." "We're ready to begin boarding Flight 1234 with service from Miami to Atlanta. Due to a weight problem with the aircraft, we are going to limit you to one piece of carry-on luggage. Any additional items will have to be checked." After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the flight attendant came on with: "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash has brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. Once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal." Two airline mechanics were working on a 747 when lunchtime came. Rather than leave what they were doing, they just took their lunch break while sitting in the cockpit. As they were eating lunch, one mechanic bet the other that the landing gear wouldn't retract if he pulled the gear lever up. He lost. Near the conclusion of an extremely turbulent American Airlines flight, a cabin attendant finished his "stowed-tray-table-and-upright-seat" speech with a cheerful, "We'd like to thank you for flying American Airlines. But if you were displeased with the flight, thank you for flying United."
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER A fascinating fear of flying book from a commercial airline pilot and author of the popular website askthepilot.com. For millions of people, travel by air is a confounding, uncomfortable, and even frightening experience. When you go behind the scenes, however, you can see that the grand theater of air travel is actually fascinating. From the intricate design of airport architecture to the logistics of inflight service, here is everything you need to know about flying. Commercial airlines like to hide the truth from customers and do nothing to comfort nervous fliers. And what's scarier than the unknown? In this aviation book, pilot Patrick Smith breaks down that barrier and tells you everything you need to know about flying, including: How planes fly, and a revealing look at the men and women who fly them Straight talk on turbulence, pilot training, and safety The real story on delays, congestion, and the dysfunction of the modern airport The myths and misconceptions of cabin air and cockpit automation Terrorism in perspective, and a provocative look at security Airfare, seating woes, and the pitfalls of airline customer service The true colors and cultures of the airlines we love to hate Cockpit Confidential is a thoughtful, funny, and at times deeply personal look into the strange and misunderstood world of commercial flying. If you liked other books about airplanes for adults, including Soar by Tom Bunn or Skyfaring, you'll find reassurance, humor, and guidance in Cockpit Confidential. "Anyone remotely afraid of flying should read this book, as should anyone who appreciates good writing and great information." —The New York Times, on ASK THE PILOT "Patrick Smith is extraordinarily knowledgeable about modern aviation...the ideal seatmate, a companion, writer and explorer." —Boston Globe
Unlike conventional aviation authors and instructors I do not teach primary flying, crop dusting, pipeline patrol flying, bush flying, helicopter medical evacuation flying, and air to ground gunnery using instruments inside the aircraft as the primary situational awareness tool. Rather I teach Dutch rolls, slow flight and stalls over the runway, the energy management turns, use of ground effect on all takeoffs, the brisk walk apparent rate of closure approach, hover taxi in fixed wing aircraft, and low level low power mountain flying using sights, sounds, smells, and kinetics. Sight is used 99.9% of the time looking at the ground. Airspeed, nor any other instrument is used in takeoff or landing. This text teaches the art of flying in the old style at low level using ground references. Its author has over sixteen thousand hours of flying Army helicopters, crop dusters, and pipeline patrol airplanes at three feet to five hundred feet above ground level.
The hilarious New York Times bestseller “sharply observes the lives of globe-trotting, overindulging investment bankers” (Entertainment Weekly). “Some chick asked me what I would do with 10 million bucks. I told her I’d wonder where the rest of my money went.” —@GSElevator For three years, the notorious @GSElevator Twitter feed offered a hilarious, shamelessly voyeuristic look into the real world of international finance. Hundreds of thousands followed the account, Goldman Sachs launched an internal investigation, and when the true identity of the man behind it all was revealed, it created a national media sensation—but that’s only part of the story. Where @GSElevator captured the essence of the banking elite with curated jokes and submissions overheard by readers, Straight to Hell adds John LeFevre’s own story—an unapologetic and darkly funny account of a career as a globe-conquering investment banker spanning New York, London, and Hong Kong. Straight to Hell pulls back the curtain on a world that is both hated and envied, taking readers from the trading floors and roadshows to private planes and after-hours overindulgence. Full of shocking lawlessness, boyish antics, and win-at-all-costs schemes, this is the definitive take on the deviant, dysfunctional, and absolutely excessive world of finance. “Shocking and sordid—and so much fun.” —Daily News (New York) “LeFevre’s workplace anecdotes include tales of nastiness, sabotage, favoritism, sexism, racism, expense-account padding, and legally questionable collusion.” —The New Yorker
While admittedly somewhat limited (about the width and height of an aircraft windscreen) and woefully short of the "big picture", the pilot's perspective offers some unique insights into the vagaries of life. Those insights are presented in This Is Your Captain Speaking as a series of tales that, while amusing and lighthearted, give reason to pause and think. Put your seatbacks into the full-upright and locked position, stow and lock your tray tables, and sit back and enjoy the ride.
