This book is a companion piece and extension of an earlier analysis of parent and friend relations, their structure and functions in children's social and personal development (James Youniss, Parents and Peers in Social Development: A Sullivan-Piaget Perspective, University of Chicago Press, 1980) The present book focuses on adolescents in these same relations. It presents two kinds of material: first, adolescents' own descriptions of interactions they have had in these relations, and second, theory regarding what these relations are and how they contribute to development. As before, relations are treated in the ideal typical sense as descriptions are synthesized across subjects to yield average charateristics that define structure.
Most studies of social development in children have relied on the assumption that adults' instructions to children pass on knowledge of the rules of behavior which govern and preserve society. In this volume, James Youniss argues that the child's relations with his or her friends and peers make a distinctive and critically important contribution to social development. While the child's relations with parents and other adults provide a sense of order and authority, peer relations are a source of sensitivity, self-understanding, and interpersonal cooperation. Following a discussion of the views of Harry Stack Sullivan and Jean Piaget, whose theories are synthesized in Youniss's perspective, Youniss presents a wealth of empirical data from studies in which children describe their own views of their two social worlds.
“A book of great value for every daughter and every mother; useful for sons, too.”—Benjamin Spock, M.D. From the Introduction: The goal of this book is to help readers achieve that separation so that they can either find a way to be friends with their mothers, or at least recognize and accept that their mothers did the best they could—even if it wasn't “good enough”—and to stop blaming them. Among the issues to be covered: • To understand how a daughter's attachment to her mother—more so than her relationship with her father—colors all her other relationships, and to analyze why it is more difficult for daughters than sons to separate from their mothers, as well as why daughters are more subject than sons to a mother's manipulation • To recognize the difference between a healthy and a destructive mother-daughter connection, and to define clearly the “bad mommy,” in order to help readers who have trouble acknowledging their childhood losses to begin to comprehend them • To conjugate what I call the “Bad Mommy Taboo”—why our culture is more eager to protect the sanctity of maternity than it is to protect emotionally abused daughters • To describe the evolution of the "unpleasable" mother—in all likelihood, she was bereft of maternal love as a child—and to recognize the huge, and often poignant, stake she has in keeping her grown daughter dependent and off-balance • To illustrate the consequent controlling behavior—in some cases, cloaked in fragility or good intentions—of such mothers, which falls into general patterns, including: the Doormat, the Critic, the Smotherer, the Avenger, the Deserter • To understand that the daughter has a similar stake in either being a slave to or hating her mother—the two sides of her depen dency and immaturity • To illustrate the responsive behavior—and survival mechanisms —of daughters, which is determined in part by such variables as birth rank, family history, and temperament, and which also falls into patterns, including: the Angel, the Superachiever, the Cipher, the Troublemaker, the Defector • To show how to redefine the mother-daughter relationship, so that each can learn to see and accept the other as she is today, appreciating each other's good qualities and not being snared by the bad • Finally, to demonstrate that a redefined relationship with one's mother—adult to adult—frees you from the past, whether that re definition ultimately results in real friendship, affectionate truce, or divorce.
All parents experience stress as they attempt to meet the challenges of caring for their children. This comprehensive book examines the causes and consequences of parenting distress, drawing on a wide array of findings in current empirical research. Kirby Deater-Deckard explores normal and pathological parenting stress, the influences of parents on their children as well as children on their parents, and the effects of biological and environmental factors. Beginning with an overview of theories of stress and coping, Deater-Deckard goes on to describe how parenting stress is linked with problems in adult and child health (emotional problems, developmental disorders, illness); parental behaviors (warmth, harsh discipline); and factors outside the family (marital quality, work roles, cultural influences). The book concludes with a useful review of coping strategies and interventions that have been demonstrated to alleviate parenting stress.
This volume offers both compelling discussion and innovative research on father-adolescent relationships. Following research on the impact of interactions with father in early and middle childhood, this volume addresses questions of why changes in the nature and influences of relationships might occur during adolescence.
Expert suggestions for guiding your child through the rough teenage years Does it sometimes seem like your teenager is trying to push you over the edge? Learn what your child is going through and what you can do to help your teen navigate this difficult period in this practical guide from psychologist and parenting expert Carl Pickhardt. In an easy-to-read style, Dr. Pickhardt describes a 4-stage model of adolescent growth to help parents anticipate common developmental changes in their daughter or son from late elementary school through the college age years. Provides unique advice for dealing with arguing, chores, the messy room, homework, and many other issues Offers best practices for teaching effective communication, constructive conflict, and responsible decision-making Includes ideas for protecting kids against the dangers of the Internet, bullying, dating, sexual involvement, and substance use An essential road map for parents looking to guide their children on the path to adulthood.
While insights sometimes are slow in coming, they often seem obvious when they finally arrive. This handbook is an outcome of the insight that the topics of social support and the family are very closely linked. Obvious as this might seem, the fact remains that the literatures dealing with social support and the family have been deceptively separate and distinct. For example, work on social support began in the 1970s with the accumulation of evidence that social ties and social integration play important roles in health and personal adjustment. Even though family members are often the key social supporters of individuals, relatively little re search of social support was targeted on family interactions as a path to specifying supporter processes. It is now recognized that one of the most important features of the family is its role in providing the individual with a source of support and acceptance. Fortunately, in recen t years, the distinctness and separateness of the fields of social support and the family have blurred. This handbook provides the first collation and integration of social support and family research. This integration calls for specifying processes (such as the cognitions associated with poor support availability and unrewarding faIllily constellations) and factors (such as cultural differences in family life and support provision) that are pertinent to integration.
