A Wayne in a Manger

A Wayne in a Manger

Author: Gervase Phinn

Publisher: Penguin UK

Published: 2006-11-02

Total Pages: 160

ISBN-13: 0141924748

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A Wayne in a Manger is the hilarious compilation of nativity stories by Gervase Phinn. Discover some wonderfully funny and touching nativity play anecdotes, including children forgetting their lines, ad-libbing, falling of the stage, picking their noses and showing their knickers. One brilliant anecdote tells of an innkeeper who generously says there's plenty of room for Mary and Joseph, while another child, jealous of Joseph's starring role, allows Mary to come in but not Joseph, who can 'push off' ... There's the baby Jesus who suddenly pipes up with 'My name is Tammy, are you my Mommy?' and funniest of all, Mary who tells Joseph, 'I'm having a baby - oh and it's not yours'. Gervase Phinn's A Wayne in a Manger is the perfect gift this Christmas. 'Gervase Phinn's memoirs have made him a hero in school staff-rooms' Daily Telegraph Gervase Phinn is an author and educator from Rotherham who, after teaching for fourteen years in a variety of schools, moved to North Yorkshire to be a school inspector. He has written autobiographies, novels, plays, collections of poetry and stories, as well as a number of books about education. He holds five fellowships, honorary doctorates from Hull, Leicester and Sheffield Hallam universities, and is a patron of a number of children's charities and organizations. He is married with four adult children. His books include The Other Side of the Dale, Over Hill and Dale, Head Over Heels in the Dales,The Heart of the Dales, Up and Down in the Dales and Trouble at the Little Village School.


Garde Manger

Garde Manger

Author: The Culinary Institute of America (CIA)

Publisher: John Wiley & Sons

Published: 2012-04-16

Total Pages: 730

ISBN-13: 0470587806

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The leading guide to the professional kitchen's cold food station, now fully revised and updated Garde Manger: The Art and Craft of the Cold Kitchen has been the market's leading textbook for culinary students and a key reference for professional chefs since its original publication in 1999. This new edition improves on the last with the most up-to-date recipes, plating techniques, and flavor profiles being used in the field today. New information on topics like artisanal cheeses, contemporary styles of pickles and vinegars, and contemporary cooking methods has been added to reflect the most current industry trends. And the fourth edition includes hundreds of all-new photographs by award-winning photographer Ben Fink, as well as approximately 450 recipes, more than 100 of which are all-new to this edition. Knowledge of garde manger is an essential part of every culinary student's training, and many of the world's most celebrated chefs started in garde manger as apprentices or cooks. The art of garde manger includes a broad base of culinary skills, from basic cold food preparations to roasting, poaching, simmering, and sautéing meats, fish, poultry, vegetables, and legumes. This comprehensive guide includes detailed information on cold sauces and soups; salads; sandwiches; cured and smoked foods; sausages; terrines, pâtes, galantines, and roulades; cheese; appetizers and hors d'oeuvre; condiments, crackers, and pickles; and buffet development and presentation.


Dim Wit

Dim Wit

Author: Rosemarie Jarski

Publisher: Random House

Published: 2008-12-05

Total Pages: 576

ISBN-13: 140702468X

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'They misunderestimated me' George W. Bush Einstein said only two things are infinite - the universe and human stupidity. So in deference to the dumbing down of our culture, comes Dim Wit - a collection of the most jaw-droppingly stupid things ever said. The cast includes every famous foot-in-mouther from George W Bush to Prince Philip, Paris Hilton to Jade Goody, not to mention hundreds of unsung idiots plucked from villages the world over. The result is a confederacy of dunces more pro-fun than profound - a clever witticism may coax an inward smile but it takes a really stupid remark to deliver a belly laugh. So pick up Dim Wit and prepare to embrace your inner moron - it may be the smartest thing you do... 'My grandma overheard two women talking in a doctor's surgery. After a while, one said to the other, "Do you know, Mary, I don't feel too well. I think I'll go home."' - Robyn Jankel 'I don't think anyone should write his autobiography until after he's dead.' - Samuel Goldwyn 'Winston Churchill? Wasn't he the first black President of America? There's a statue of him near me - that's black.' - Danielle Lloyd


The Ants Are My Friends

The Ants Are My Friends

Author: Martin Toseland

Publisher: Portico

Published: 2013-01-25

Total Pages: 175

ISBN-13: 1909396109

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Linguistic mistakes. We all make them. And if your name is George W Bush, you might make them more often than others. In 'The Ants are My Friends' (delightfully misheard from Bob Dylan's "Blowing in the Wind") Martin Toseland has collected the very best (and very worst) linguistic gifts of the gaffe. The catergories features include: Malapropisms (named after Mrs Malaprop in Sheridan's "The Rivals" where the wrong word pops out to bizarre results); Eggcorns (where a new word is created from misheard real one - the name comes from someone misunderstanding 'acorn' as 'eggcorn', as it has the same shape); Bushisms (the humour in which cannot be misunderestimated); and Mondegreens or misheard lyrics, which include such classic examples as: Who Ya Gonna Call, Gus Foster ("Ghostbusters" by Ray Parker Junior); Last Night I Dreamed of Some Bagels ("La Isla Bonita" by Madonna); Sparing His Life For His Mum's Sausages ("Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen); It's a Fruit, Fruit Samba ("Cruel Summer" by Bananarama); and, Mr Tangerine Man ("Mr Tambourine Man" by Bob Dylan).


A Load of Old Tripe

A Load of Old Tripe

Author: Gervase Phinn

Publisher: Penguin UK

Published: 2009-11-05

Total Pages: 116

ISBN-13: 0141930969

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For eleven-year old James Joseph Johnson (or Jimmy for short) life is not always straightforward. In fact, things can be quite complicated, and don't always turn out as he'd planned . . . Born in 1946, Jimmy lives with his Mum and Dad in a shiny red brick terraced house in South Yorkshire near the steel works. Sometimes the air is thick and metallic tasting, with bits of soot floating around like little black snowflakes. Despite all this, Jimmy wouldn't want to live anywhere else. His very best friend, Ignatius Plunkett, is a scrawny boy with a sharp beak of a nose, ears like jug handles and a mop of jet black hair. Micky is his rather 'posh' friend from the big houses down the road. The boys get into a few scrapes in the year leading up to the eleven-plus exams, but will they come out on top in the end? Will Jimmy survive a week looking after Butch, the temperamental, barrel-bodied bull terrier? Will the truth about the trip to buy Dad's tripe ever come out? What really happens to Jimmy's Mum's coffee and walnut cake, and will the mystery of the missing locket ever get solved?


Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Stars

Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Stars

Author: Gervase Phinn

Publisher: Penguin UK

Published: 2008-11-06

Total Pages: 112

ISBN-13: 0141903678

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Twinkle, Twinkle Little Stars is the second delightful collection of stories and poems from Gervase Phinn. Following on from the terrific success of A Wayne in a Manger, Gervase Phinn has collected together from his bestselling Dales books his favourite stories about children, and included some poems from his popular Puffin poetry books. In this humorously illustrated book, the stories have one thing in common - the wonderfully funny (and usually innocent) things that children say. What makes Naomi's granny wobble? What's the secret ingredient in Richard's jam tarts? What is Billy's unconventional method for making babies? Whether they are stories about children who cannot read very well but know the names of many breeds of sheep or children who are more privileged (coming to school in a Wolls-Woyce), they are simply delightful. Twinkle, Twinkle Little Stars is a heart-warming book will enchant you, as Gervase Phinn helps you look at life through a child's eyes - and that's quite a special thing. 'Gervase Phinn's memoirs have made him a hero in school staff-rooms' Daily Telegraph Gervase Phinn is an author and educator from Rotherham who, after teaching for fourteen years in a variety of schools, moved to North Yorkshire to be a school inspector. He has written autobiographies, novels, plays, collections of poetry and stories, as well as a number of books about education. He holds five fellowships, honorary doctorates from Hull, Leicester and Sheffield Hallam universities, and is a patron of a number of children's charities and organizations. He is married with four adult children. His books include The Other Side of the Dale, Over Hill and Dale, Head Over Heels in the Dales,The Heart of the Dales, Up and Down in the Dales and Trouble at the Little Village School.


Yiddishlands

Yiddishlands

Author: David G. Roskies

Publisher: Wayne State University Press

Published: 2008-07-24

Total Pages: 241

ISBN-13: 0814335446

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A renowned scholar looks back on his life and the life of his mother, tracing the Yiddish experience through major historical events of the last century. A rich, sweeping memoir by David G. Roskies, Yiddishlands proceeds from the premise that Yiddish culture is spread out among many different people and geographic areas and transmitted through story, song, study, and the family. Roskies leads readers through Yiddishlands old and new by revisiting his personal and professional experiences and retelling his remarkable family saga in a series of lively, irreverent, and interwoven stories. Beginning with a flashback to his grandmother’s storybook wedding in 1878, Yiddishlands brings to life the major debates, struggles, and triumphs of the modern Yiddish experience, and provides readers with memorable portraits of its great writers, cultural leaders, and educators. Roskies’s story centers around Vilna, Lithuania, where his mother, Masha, was born in 1906 and where her mother, Fradl Matz, ran the legendary Matz Press, a publishing house that distributed prayer books, Bibles, and popular Yiddish literature. After falling in love with Vilna’s cabaret culture, an older man, and finally a fellow student with elbow patches on his jacket, Masha and her young family are forced to flee Europe for Montreal, via Lisbon and New York. It is in Montreal that Roskies, Masha’s youngest child, comes of age, entranced by the larger-than-life stories of his mother and the writers, artists, and performers of her social circle. Roskies recalls his own intellectual odyssey as a Yiddish scholar; his life in the original Havurah religious commune in Somerville, Massachusetts, in the 1970s; his struggle with the notion of aliyah while studying in Israel; his visit to Russia at the height of the Soviet Jewry movement; and his confrontation with his parents’ memories in a bittersweet pilgrimage to Poland. Along the way, readers of Yiddishlands meet such prominent figures as Isaac Bashevis Singer, Melekh Ravitch, Itsik Manger, Avrom Sutzkever, Esther Markish, and Rachel Korn. With Yiddishlands, readers take a whirlwind tour of modern Yiddish culture, from its cabarets and literary salons to its fierce ideological rivalries and colorful personalities. Roskies’s memoir will be essential reading for students of the recent Jewish past and of the living Yiddish present.


Over Hill and Dale

Over Hill and Dale

Author: Gervase Phinn

Publisher: Penguin UK

Published: 2001-03-29

Total Pages: 324

ISBN-13: 0140281290

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Continuing where THE OTHER SIDE OF THE DALE ended, Gervase Phinn begins his second year as a schools inspector in Yorkshire. His colourful cast of characters are now becoming firm favourites - the mostly mad staff at County Hall, the teachers who range from saints to stand-ins, and of course the children themselves who find ways of embarrassing school inspectors with innocent ease. Gervase's colleagues rag him unmercifully about his faraway look whenever the name of Christine Bentley of WinneryNook Nursery and Primary School is mentioned, and he realises it is time to take action - but how to put the question? Gervase Phinn has an extraordinary talent to entertain, and OVER HILL AND DALE will make you laugh out loud.


Professional Garde Manger

Professional Garde Manger

Author: Lou Sackett

Publisher: John Wiley & Sons

Published: 2010-03-15

Total Pages: 444

ISBN-13: 0470179961

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Maintaining the features that have made Professional Cooking and Professional Baking standouts in the marketplace, Professional Garde Manger presents culinary students and professional working chefs with comprehensive and visual coverage of everything they need to know to master the cold kitchen. This new text on garde manger work provides step-by-step techniques and procedures covering 375 recipes and 400 recipe variations for the garde manger chef. Beautifully illustrated with line drawings and more than 500 new photos, it covers topics ranging from simple salads and hors d'oeuvres to mousellines and charcuterie specialties to careers in the field. This much-awaited text provides a complete look at this specialized area in culinary arts.


The Virgin Mary's Got Nits

The Virgin Mary's Got Nits

Author: Gervase Phinn

Publisher: Hodder & Stoughton

Published: 2014-11-06

Total Pages: 172

ISBN-13: 1444779397

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A touching and hilarious gift book of poetry and prose on the subject of children and Christmas from the Yorkshire school inspector and bestselling author of the Dales series and Little Village School series.