This terribly tempting blank book offers ruled pages detailed with illustrations and quotable quotations from Mr. Snicket's archives. This journal is resilient enough to hold even the most revolting revelations from any budding young researcher or writer in disguise. Consumable.
NOW A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES I hope, for your sake, that you have not chosen to read this book because you are in the mood for a pleasant experience. If this is the case, I advise you to put this book down instantaneously, because of all the books describing the unhappy lives of the Baudelaire orphans, The Miserable Mill might be the unhappiest yet. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are sent to Paltryville to work in a lumber mill, and they find disaster and misfortune lurking behind every log. The pages of this book, I'm sorry to inform you, contain such unpleasantries as a giant pincher machine, a bad casserole, a man with a cloud of smoke where his head should be, a hypnotist, a terrible accident resulting in injury, and coupons. I have promised to write down the entire history of these three poor children, but you haven't, so if you prefer stories that are more heartwarming, please feel free to make another selection. With all due respect, Lemony Snicket
The siblings endure a car accident, a terrible smell, a deadly serpent, a long knife, a brass reading lamp, and the re-appearance of a person they hoped to never see again.
Forget Frosty the Snowman or Ruldolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. The next great holiday hero is a small, flammable chunk of barbecue fodder. He's impeccably dressed, he's terribly grumpy, and he's looking for a holiday miracle. It's unmistakably Snicket - here's the opening line: This holiday season is a time for stoytelling, and whether you are hearing the story of a candelabra staying lit for more than a week, or a baby born in a barn without proper medical supervision, these stories often feature miracles.
NOW A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES If you have not read anything about the Baudelaire orphans, then before you read even one more sentence, you should know this: Violet, Klaus, and Sunny are kindhearted and quick-witted, but their lives are filled with bad luck and misery. All of the stories about these three children are unhappy and wretched and will most likely fill you with deep despair. From The Bad Beginning to The End, this comprehensive collection with unfortunate bonus material that may or may not include trivia questions, character profiles, and several very sad sentences is the only choice for people who simply cannot get enough of a bad thing!
Dear Reader, If you have not read anything about the Baudelaire orphans, then before you read even one more sentence, you should know this: Violet, Klaus, and Sunny are kindhearted and quick-witted, but their lives, I am sorry to say, are filled with bad luck and misery. All of the stories about these three children are unhappy and wretched, and this one may be the worst of them all.If you haven't got the stomach for a story that includes a hurricane, a signalling device, hungry leeches, cold cucumber soup, a horrible villain, and a doll named Pretty Penny, then this book will probably fill you with despair.I will continue to record these tragic tales, for that is what I do. You, however, should decide for yourself whether you can possibly endure this miserable story. With all due respect, Lemony Snicket
NOW A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES A Warning from the Publisher: Imagine you are wearing a bandage that needs to be removed. Are you the sort of person who tears the bandage right off, causing an enormous amount of pain in a short instance? Or do you prefer to spread your pain out over a longer period of time, by slowly unpeeling the bandage from your injury? If you are the first type of person, then this three-book electronic collection might be for you. All of the misery and woe available in three Lemony Snicket volumes—The Miserable Mill, The Austere Academy, and The Ersatz Elevator—have been joined into one compactly miserable package, so readers foolish enough to read about the Baudelaire orphans can be unnerved in a slightly more economical fashion. If you are the second type of person, then volumes four through six in A Series of Unfortunate Events might be for you. Even if you unwisely choose to read them at a more leisurely pace, you will encounter such atrocities as poorly paid employees, a hypnotist, an evil scheme, a gym teacher, dripping fungus, another evil scheme, a fake accent, three mysterious consonants, a red herring, and at least one more evil scheme. Of course, most people would prefer not to be injured at all. We salute these sensible people, who will doubtless not purchase any books by Lemony Snicket, no matter how conveniently bundled.
This mysterious illustrated tie-in to Netflix's award-winning A Series of Unfortunate Events -- featuring an introduction by Count Olaf's legal representative, Neil Patrick Harris -- shares insider secrets about the Baudelaire family and the making of the show. In every library there is a single book that can answer the question that burns like a fire in the mind... In this collector's companion you will discover never-before-seen photographs, never-before-told stories, and never-before, revealed secrets spanning all three seasons of the hilariously twisted, critically acclaimed hit series. You will encounter original concept art, annotated script excerpts, and interviews with the creative team and all-star cast, as well as glossaries, recipes, lyric sheets, hidden Easter eggs, shocking backstories, and suspicious pages from the titular tome, unredacted, and revealed here for the first time. Featuring interviews with: Tony Hale Daniel Handler Aasif Mandvi Sara Rue Barry Sonnenfeld Patrick Warburton Bo Welch Alfre Woodard and more... Perhaps you are wondering how a noble person such as yourself might become a member of a secret organization. Like so many things in life, it starts by picking up the right book. So go ahead, read at your own risk.