Aimed at anyone who likes to hear and tell jokes. This work organises the jokes thematically - wives, husbands, doctors, lawyers, the French, the Germans, jokes about nuns, jokes about monkeys, and more.
A man walks into a bar ... Ouch! Everyone has their own favourite man-walks-into-a-bar joke. This is a collection of the best: the old favourites, the most stupid, the funniest, the brain benders, the politically incorrect, the great puns and the really, really bad puns.
Did you hear the one about the bartender and the rabbi? If not, you'll find it in this delightful book along with hundreds of other jokes and funny stories about the denizens of bars, pubs, and watering holes everywhere. Featuring classic stories and wisecracks along with brand-new jokes, A Guy Walks Into a Bar will reduce you, your friends, and your family to tears of laughter. Michael Lewis has gathered a wide range of the very best and funniest bar jokes, riddles, anecdotes, and quotations in this rib-tickling (and thirst-inducing) collection. Sure to be a favorite of tipplers of all stripes and the teetotalers who drive them home, the book also includes bar bets, games, tricks, trivia, and more. Featuring classic "bartoons" at the opening of each chapter, A Guy Walks Into a Bar is the perfect party takealong or barside companion, deserving pride of place next to your cocktail shaker and jar of olives.
Be the life of the party with this ridiculous and definitely-not-for-kids joke book. Includes knock-knock-jokes, one-liners, puns, and more hilarious jokes. Do you want to be the person who keeps friends, family, and coworkers laughing with a new joke every day? Packed full of thousands of jokes and alphabetically organized into hundreds of topics from accountants to zebras, this book offers you a massive collection of over-the-top jokes that will have everyone laughing out loud. Did you hear about the flasher who was thinking of retiring? He finally decided to stick it out for one more year! A dog with three legs walks into a Wild West bar and says, “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.” The police have reported the theft of a shipment of filing cabinets, document folders and labeling machines—it’s believed to have been the work of organized crime
Bestselling author Debra Dixon takes readers on a tense and taut ride in this thrilling romance that’s both sensual and edge-of-your-seat suspenseful. With his last breath, the man who took a bullet to protect her sent Emily Quinn on the run. Armed with only a name and an address, Emily makes her way to a small town in Washington State, where an ex–Navy SEAL just might be able to help her disappear—forever. As the bad guys and the Feds close in, Emily will have to put all her faith in this stranger, a man who makes her pulse race faster than any man ever has. She knows she’ll be damned if she trusts him—and dead if she doesn’t. When Christian “Gabe” Gabriel first sets eyes on Emily, she’s dressed as a nun. But he can see right through that habit to the frightened, beautiful woman underneath. His time in the military has honed his reflexes and dampened his emotions—or so he thinks. Because Emily has tapped something deep inside Gabe—and it’s a temptation that may cost them both their lives. But what a sweet, sinful indulgence it will be. Includes a special message from the editor, as well as excerpts from these Loveswept titles: All Is Fair . . ., Bad to the Bone, and Rescuing Diana.
Did you hear about the scarecrow that won the Nobel Prize? He was outstanding in his field. What kind of cheese can hide a horse? Mascarpone. What about the red ship and the purple ship that collided at sea? Over one hundred sailors were marooned. Did you hear about the paranoid vegetarian? He always feared the wurst. A blonde Essex girl walked into a bar with an Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman, and started to change the lightbulb. The barman asked, 'Is this some kind of joke?' The third in the bestselling series of hilarious joke books - packed full of every kind of joke to make you laugh until your sides split. From elephants to mothers-in-law, priests to chickens, 'knock knock' to 'doctor, doctor' and much more besides, A Man Walks into a Bar 3 contains over 2,500 great new gags. Even Queen Victoria would be amused.
Consumers are spending more than $40 billion each year on spirits, and it sometimes seems there are nearly 40 billion drinks to choose from. In Good Spirits, A.J. Rathbun has collected 450 of the best cocktail recipes, featuring an incredible variety of spirits, mixers, and garnishes. The recipes are organized by theme, so it's easy to find the perfect drink for every occasion, and engaging sidebars throughout the book showcase Rathbun's unabashed passion for and knowledge of his subject. With its stunning, full-color photographs and fresh, lively tone, this is the definitive guide to both classic and contemporary drinks for anyone who appreciates the art of the cocktail.
The beloved New York Times bestselling author reflects on home, family, friendships and writing in this deeply personal collection of essays. "The elegance of Patchett’s prose is seductive and inviting: with Patchett as a guide, readers will really get to grips with the power of struggles, failures, and triumphs alike." —Publisher's Weekly “Any story that starts will also end.” As a writer, Ann Patchett knows what the outcome of her fiction will be. Life, however, often takes turns we do not see coming. Patchett ponders this truth in these wise essays that afford a fresh and intimate look into her mind and heart. At the center of These Precious Days is the title essay, a surprising and moving meditation on an unexpected friendship that explores “what it means to be seen, to find someone with whom you can be your best and most complete self.” When Patchett chose an early galley of actor and producer Tom Hanks’ short story collection to read one night before bed, she had no idea that this single choice would be life changing. It would introduce her to a remarkable woman—Tom’s brilliant assistant Sooki—with whom she would form a profound bond that held monumental consequences for them both. A literary alchemist, Patchett plumbs the depths of her experiences to create gold: engaging and moving pieces that are both self-portrait and landscape, each vibrant with emotion and rich in insight. Turning her writer’s eye on her own experiences, she transforms the private into the universal, providing us all a way to look at our own worlds anew, and reminds how fleeting and enigmatic life can be. From the enchantments of Kate DiCamillo’s children’s books (author of The Beatryce Prophecy) to youthful memories of Paris; the cherished life gifts given by her three fathers to the unexpected influence of Charles Schultz’s Snoopy; the expansive vision of Eudora Welty to the importance of knitting, Patchett connects life and art as she illuminates what matters most. Infused with the author’s grace, wit, and warmth, the pieces in These Precious Days resonate deep in the soul, leaving an indelible mark—and demonstrate why Ann Patchett is one of the most celebrated writers of our time.