Wild Dogs and Nutters

Wild Dogs and Nutters

Author: Laura Tong

Publisher: Laura Tong

Published: 2014-06-07

Total Pages: 84

ISBN-13:

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Please note this is a three part series - this is part one - London to Iran. This journey was undertaken in a time without mobile phones, without the Internet, without digital cameras and wireless connections. Without blue tooth and denture whitening, Skype, hype and liposuction. In a time when a blackberry was a fruit, an Apple a vegetable and a nasty rash and boils, incurable. Indeed without the aid of most of the critical inventions of the past 15 years. That such a monumental odyssey was possible at all in such primitive times may be the cause of disbelief but despite the catalog of disasters, bad decisions and wild swings from feeling like intrepid explorers to feeling like a luxury hotel with en suite everything we did set out from London one morning on a tandem and arrive eighteen months later in Sydney, almost in one piece. Our route took us across Western and what was then still Eastern Europe and over the Bosphorus into Asia and onto the Silk Route made famous by Marco Polo. Despite initially being refused a visa and the British Consulate warning us not to go, Iran followed Turkey and then Pakistan and the Himalayas into North China. Three months later we emerged to continue into Thailand, through Malaysia and Indonesia and then eventually across to Australia and down to Sydney, 32,248 kilometers of cycling later. In between were celebrity sponsorship, fifteen countries, a failed attempt to cross a war zone, the highest road pass in the world, two arrests, crashes, breakdowns, dengue fever, earth tremors, fires, an ambush and stoning in a remote Himalayan valley and a game of cat and mouse with the Chinese Public Security Bureau. Recognized by Guinness as a World Record, we’ve been trading on this ridiculous feat of deluded endeavor ever since and Wild Dogs and Nutters is on its way to being the silliest and most inspiring feel good account of resculpting one’s buttocks across 32,000 kilometers of some of the world’s most extreme landscapes. Please note this is a three part series - this is part one - London to Iran.


The Dog's Rollocks

The Dog's Rollocks

Author: Laura Tong

Publisher: Laura Tong

Published: 2014-06-07

Total Pages: 243

ISBN-13:

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Out of their depths and out of their minds, The Dog’s Rollocks is the antidote to all those tales of daring-do by fearless indefatigable Supermen and women that leave one feeling woefully inadequate and semi-suicidal. Instead, it charts in a sometimes surreal diary the disastrous real-life journey of one middle-aged, middle-class, couple, along with their overweight Labrador, to escape mid-life crisis and join the ranks not of the ‘lame-arse, self-effacing, giving-credit-where-due deities of yore’ but the ‘hip, happening, limelight-hogging arrogant immortals of today’ by attempting to row the two thousand kilometers from London to Lisbon in a self-built Ozark float boat.


More Bollocks People Tell You

More Bollocks People Tell You

Author: Laura Tong

Publisher: Laura Tong

Published: 2014-06-07

Total Pages: 99

ISBN-13:

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Frankly Frank says... The original ground breaking 'The Bollocks People Tell You' struck a mighty blow against all those so called 'experts' - life coaches, gurus, swamis, TV cooks, politicians, celebrity authors and faceless nobodies desperate to ram their knob head opinions down anyone and everyone's throat. However, the fight goes on - there are still mounds of grubby little tapeworms spreading their unwanted and nauseating opinions into every nook and cranny of our lives and I, Frankly Frank, promise not sleep until they are dispatched back to the invidious wormcasts they came from. It still seems that if we don’t measure up to their impossibly tedious 'ideals' of endeavor or health and safety or 'citizenship' or 'family values' that our very existence is squalid and hollow. Therefore it still remains for me to make the world a better place by shoving these self-styled 'experts' ideas and opinions up their respective asses. The good news is that we are not alone – there has already been a nationwide campaign involving much bloodshed of experts and the like so relax, flop into a lazy boy with a brace of burgers and a crate of special brew or sink into a hot bathtub with a truffle and caviar pasty and be assured once again that a murderous number of ‘experts’ were severely mutilated in the making of this book. * Here then is the fervently awaited definitive, all-encompassing follow up anthology ... More Bollocks People Tell You


The Bollocks People Tell You

The Bollocks People Tell You

Author: Laura Tong

Publisher: Laura Tong

Published: 2014-06-07

Total Pages: 105

ISBN-13:

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Frankly Frank says... Just thinking about all those so called 'experts' - life coaches, gurus, swamis, TV cooks, politicians, celebrity authors and faceless nobodies - desperate, to ram their knob head opinions down my throat makes me want to spew. There is no area of life left without some grubby little tapeworm smearing its unwanted and nauseating opinion into it. The bastards cheerfully inform us if we don’t measure up to some impossibly tedious ideal encapsulated in some bullshit celebrity ‘save the plankton’ type book or Government ‘fuck responsibly’ type pamphlet our miserable existences are an insult to mankind's eternal struggle to distinguish itself from the primordial slime it came from. The only real certainty is that the world would be a better place if all these self-styled 'experts' shoved their endless opinions up their respective asses. However, as this is unlikely to happen, without a nationwide campaign involving much bloodshed, glide instead into a chaise longue with a glass of Chardonnay and a coarse cut Brussels pate or slump into a easy chair with a bottle of Newcastle Brown and a battered saveloy, and rest assured that many ‘experts’ were harmed in the making of this book.


The Great Success Swindle

The Great Success Swindle

Author: Laura Tong

Publisher: Laura Tong

Published: 2014-06-07

Total Pages: 57

ISBN-13:

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Most ordinary people are being swindled out of their chance of success, doomed to permanent failure or for the vast majority, doomed to never even having a chance to try for their success, their dream. Why? Because the Road to Success is paved with... bullshit. And this book sweeps aside this bullshit in a entertaining, but no holds barred way. Because a revolution is needed, a revolution for the ordinary man and woman. Andrew Carnegie dreamed of a Monetary Revolution for the Common Man, Henry Wallace spoke of a Century of the Common Man and The Great Success Swindle proclaims a Success Revolution for the Common Man. So is this just another self-improvement book? No, It is not a self-improvement book in the traditional sense, it is a life-improvement book - most people do not need self-improvement despite many of the vast tomes dedicated to the subject, they are fine as they are, it's their life that sucks. The Great Success Swindle intends to measurably raise the rate of ordinary people reaching whatever their version of success and a great life is. The book is no fluff, no bullshit, gloves off but entertaining look at: Why so many ordinary people are doomed to failure before they start How to tell you are being swindled How to recognize swindlers How to break out of the swindle and immeasurably increase your chance of success The book also includes 21 Rules of Success for the Common Man


The Great Motivation Swindle

The Great Motivation Swindle

Author: Laura Tong

Publisher: Laura Tong

Published: 2014-06-08

Total Pages: 63

ISBN-13:

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Do you dream of doing something awesome, big or small towards a Great Life, anything indeed, but when you try to motivate yourself into actually getting off your burgeoning ass and taking some kick-ass action, nothing happens, zilch? Somehow, for some damn reason you can't identify, your motivation always fails to show up for the party? Goes AWOL? There's a strong chance it's never your true dream you're chasing, but some swindling parasitic desire foisted on you - in short, you've been swindled, you're a casualty of The Great Motivation Swindle. Too many great people are failing to achieve the success and Great Life they could be living and it seems to be assumed that this is a natural state of affairs and there is little that can be done about it. So what do you do if you find it harder to get motivated than a shark at a salad bar? If you're feeling more demotivated than an albino in a heatwave? What happens is you turn to self-improvement. But the killer is that this industry is largely just putting out the same swindling message as society, more and more dressed up in pseudo 'science' and psychological jargon. The mountains of motivational literature, images and quotes that are designed to get you fired up enough to get going and kick some ass, are in fact doing the oh so opposite: rather than motivating ordinary people to get out there and chase down some sweet dream, they are demotivating them or worse still, encouraging the swindleous practice of substituting some other bastard's aims and desires for yours. So what's the alternative? The alternative is a Revolution. A Revolution for the Common Man. A Revolution where you buck the swindle and the whole concept of 'self-improvement', replace all the corrosive crap in your head with your own unique desire and motivation to pursue your own happiness and go grab whatever the hell you want, as you. The book also includes 19 Motivational Rules for the Common Man


The Secrets of UDA: United Dwarf Alliance

The Secrets of UDA: United Dwarf Alliance

Author: William J. Jarema

Publisher: Strategic Book Publishing

Published: 2012-12-28

Total Pages: 431

ISBN-13: 1625162952

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Synopsis: The Secrets of UDA: United Dwarf Alliance is a new and inventive science fiction tetralogy based on the nine Dwarf Clans and the current uprising of evil. The date is 1001 a.u. and the evil Verlod have been attempting to grab their place in history by perverting the minds of Dwarfs. Their master is Archbishop Haridan, the leader of the Monastery of Fordosheol, and the most feared figure in the known world. Young Delko is naive and foolish. His playful frame of mind has long gotten him into trouble. He is unaware that greatness has been hunting him down. He is about to be chosen as the next Advocate and will find himself in an adventure he never would have chosen. He will learn the ways of magic, the Sword of Truth, and that he must defend the future of the United Dwarf Alliance. The lives of every Dwarf, Elf, and Druid will be changed ... but evil has another plan. About the Authors William J. Jarema is a native Michigander who lives in Colorado Springs, Colorado. He has been a priest for 30 years and is the founder/director of the Mercy Center, a holistic place of healing. He has published six books and is a world-renowned speaker and teacher. Joshua W. Belcher is from Sacramento, California. His adventures have taken him around the world. He is married, works in the grocery industry, and also lives in Colorado Springs. Publisher's website: http: //sbpra.com/WilliamJJaremaandJoshuaWBelcher


The Secrets of UDA: United Dwarf Alliance

The Secrets of UDA: United Dwarf Alliance

Author: William Jarema

Publisher: Strategic Book Publishing & Rights Agency

Published: 2014-10-29

Total Pages: 477

ISBN-13: 1631352326

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1012 AU: At the command of the Caves of Longevity, Delko and companions have been led into the hands of the evil Verlod, sent undercover in order to destroy the Monastery of Fordosheol, and assassinate Archbishop Haridan. The Archbishop’s ruthless army of Racers, Warriors, and Goblins has quickly laid waste to the northern lands, already conquering the North Door of the Cave Dwarfs and splitting the Eastern Continent in two. King Sam-Sam is pinned within the City of White Stone and the plan of evil is now fully beginning to reveal itself. The Archbishop’s son, Despot, has stolen two of the keys to the Emerald Doors leading into the realm of the Dragons. But why? If Delko cannot destroy the Monastery and conquer the Archbishop, all will be lost. Or is it already too late?


House of Nutter

House of Nutter

Author: Lance Richardson

Publisher: Random House

Published: 2018-05-10

Total Pages: 488

ISBN-13: 1473546648

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A wildly entertaining biography of the British fashion designer who set the trends for rock royalty from the Beatles to Mick Jagger to Elton John. Tommy Nutter was a visionary tailor in the bespoke tradition who dressed everybody from Lord Montagu of Beaulieu to Twiggy, who outfitteds three of the Beatles for the cover of Abbey Road (George Harrison preferred jeans), who put Mick Jagger in a white suit for his wedding to Bianca and who dressed Elton John for years, using the singer as his muse for his signature outrageous style. Nutter was alluring for his ambiguity -- a chameleon who could rub shoulders with Princess Margaret and then dance with the drag queens at Last Resort -- and his clothes were the physical expression of a sharp, audacious wit. House of Nutter charts Tommy Nutter’s dramatic career that spanned barely 23 years, ending in 1992 with his untimely death. It is a history of London during an era of economic and cultural upheaval, a celebration of the methods and traditions of Savile Row; and an elegy for what was lost during the worst days of the HIV/AIDS epidemic. With archival access to photos, letters and interviews from Tommy Nutter's sole living relative, his brother, David, Lance Richardson takes us behind the '70s glamour to explore the public face and private life of one of Britain's most respected yet rule-breaking bespoke clothiers and the celebrities he dressed.