Are you feeling exasperated and helpless about your family member's addiction? Are you at your wit's end, having tried everything you can think of to make them stop? If someone you love is engaging in addictive behaviors such as alcohol and drug misuse, eating disorders, smoking, gambling, Internet addiction, sex addiction, compulsive overspending, or relationship addiction, you are undoubtedly experiencing unpredictability in your relationship. Some of the most common emotions you will experience include: - Guilt and shame - Anger and anxiety - Confusion and powerlessness Whether the addict in your life is your spouse, partner, parent, child, friend, or colleague, the key to changing this reality for yourself lies in shifting your focus from your loved one's addiction to you own self-care. This book presents a dramatically fresh approach to help you get off the roller-coaster chaos of addiction, maintain your own sanity and serenity, and live your best life.
This compassionate and helpful book educates both the mind and heart in the power of addiction and the way to help others find healing. When a family member or friend is addicted to drugs or alcohol the situation can feel hopeless and confusing. In this book, David Stoop and Stephen Arterburn help readers develop a plan of action by offering: • Insight into brain chemistry and addiction • Real-life ideas for encouraging healthy choices • Guidance in how to help without enabling • The connection between depression, ADD, and trauma Stoop and Arterburn have helped thousands of people around the country understand chemical addiction and how to love someone well in the midst of this gripping disease.
It's okay to love them. It's your right to help them. Addiction destroys people and can even end lives. When you know or suspect that someone you love is suffering from addiction you have two goals: getting your loved one into treatment and turning that treatment into full-fledged sobriety. Many addiction experts tell you that you have to disengage or risk being an enabler, a codependent bystander, in the wreckage of an addict's life; that you have to cut all ties or be taken advantage of financially and emotionally; that you have to protect yourself from your loved one, who isn't the person you used to know. But many friends and family members find it unnatural, even impossible, to turn away from a person they love who is at his lowest point, and refuse to believe that their addict is lost to addiction. Backed by his years of experience, Dr. Westreich guides you through the process of getting the addict you love on the road to treatment and recovery. He provides detailed scripts to lead you through pivotal conversations with the addict in your life, highlighting the words that he's found to be most effective and the words to avoid. With this book in hand, family and friends will know, for example, how to motivate their addict to recognize his problem based on the addict's own definition of what addiction looks like; how to "raise the bottom" that addicts so often must hit to a more acceptable level -- such as embarrassment, job loss, or ill health; and when to use gentle disagreement, quiet listening, or forceful confrontation to move the addict toward treatment, while managing and protecting their own emotions. Dr. Westreich also shows you how to engage a therapist in the process and provides methods for combating an addict's defense mechanisms. By outlining several treatment options, he helps you to weigh what each can and cannot accomplish, which is the most effective treatment for the kind of addiction you are dealing with, what each treatment requires of the recovering addict and the friend or family member, and how successful each is. Dr. Westreich also takes care to discuss the kinds of special situations you may face when the addict in your life, in addition to having a substance abuse problem, is a minor, is pregnant, has mental or medical diseases, or has other issues that are likely to affect recovery. Helping the Addict You Love is the guide that so many loved ones of addicts have desperately needed. Dr. Westreich supports you through the emotional process of helping the addict you love, tells you it's okay to want to help, and teaches you how to do so.
This classic title has helped thousands of Australians. Now revised and updated for the new millennium, it will reach thousands more - and save lives. If you know someone with a drinking or drug problem then this guide is for you. Psychologist Jim Maclaine, one of Australia's most experienced and respected drug/alcohol counsellors, provides invaluable advice and proven strategies that can help you reach out to someone you love and make a difference. This revised and expanded edition shows you- *** how to develop realistic and positive ways of coping *** strategies for improving the addicted person's chance of recovery *** how to communicate openly with them and assist them in seeking help *** And a new chapter on heroin details the difference between heroin and other addictions, debunks common myths about heroin use, and discusses the most up-to-date treatments for heroin addiction. In his reassuring and practical style, Jim Maclaine shows how you can help someone addicted to alcohol or drugs to turn their lives around. 'This book provides the beginning of self-change - the only way you can help an addicted person' - Gabrielle Lord
Shannah Kennedy, author of The Life Plan, takes you on a journey to accept change, heal, reset and move forward with clarity, direction and purpose once again. Change can turn our plans, our lives and our dreams upside down. Whether you have faced a redundancy, dealt with a break-up, been in an accident, lost a loved one, had a health scare, or been impacted by an economic downturn, your ability to navigate through the change process and create an alternative plan will be the key to your future happiness. Shannah Kennedy has created a simple yet powerful four-part guide that is designed to give you the confidence to accept, heal, grow and adapt. Full of practical tips and exercises to help you process your emotions, restore and recover, shift your mindset, set clear goals and take control, Plan B is your roadmap to finding happiness once again.
Do you love an addict or an alcoholic? Loving an addict is one of the most painful and traumatic life journeys that any sober-minded person can experience. Feelings of betrayal, powerlessness, anger, fear, desperation and raw grief are an ever constant companion. The person you love disappears as they chase their addiction. People who love an addict inadvertently get drawn in by the addict and their lives begin to revolve around the dysfunctional hell that the addict's life is. According to the World Drug Report, approximately 247million people worldwide were in active addiction during 2016. Statistics on alcohol abuse are not as easily determined because alcohol is a socially accepted drug. It is estimated that 1 in every 12 adults suffer from alcohol abuse and dependence. Alcohol is a drug. There is very little that separates the emotional pain and dysfunction that saturates your life whether you love an alcoholic or a drug addict. Both substances are mind-altering, both substances reprogram the human brain, both substances render the addict powerless over their addiction. The only person who can break an addict's addiction is the addict. No one can convince, force, coerce or threaten an addict to seek professional help. No one can love an addict into sobriety either. This book is about understanding and helping your loved one, and also about helping yourself. You can never 'learn' to live with an addict. You either come to accept the hard truth or you separate yourself from the addict. Separation can sometimes drive an addict to seek professional help, but it's no guarantee. Sometimes you have to just let go. This book will explain how your addict thinks; however, understanding alone does not mean that you can protect them and yourself. You also need the psychological reediness to act and face certain outcomes. Let me show you how.
“Detachment” has been the standard message of most addiction literature for the last twenty years. The conventional wisdom offered to an addict’s loved ones has been to let the addict “hit bottom” before intervening. Now intervention specialist Debra Jay challenges this belief and offers a bold new approach to treating addiction that provides a practical and spiritual lifeline to families struggling with alcohol or drug abuse. In No More Letting Go, Jay argues that the traditional advice of “letting go” too often destroys both the addict and the family physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Jay contends that addiction is everybody’s business–not just the addict’s–and addiction doesn’t have the right to trump the welfare of a family. In short, highly accessible chapters written with warmth, understanding, and compassion, Jay weaves together philosophical and religious thought; new science on the brain function of an addict; the physical and psychological impact of addiction on family members; and poignant, real-life family stories. No More Letting Go is a powerful, informative guide that provides comfort, hope, and practical advice to anyone affected by a family member’s addiction.
The most innovative leaders in progressive addiction treatment in the US offer a groundbreaking, science-based guide to helping loved ones overcome addiction problems and compulsive behaviors. The most innovative leaders in progressive addiction treatment in the US offer a groundbreaking, science-based guide to helping loved ones overcome addiction problems and compulsive behaviors. Beyond Addiction eschews the theatrics of interventions and tough love to show family and friends how they can use kindness, positive reinforcement, and motivational and behavioral strategies to help their loved ones change. Drawing on forty collective years of research and decades of clinical experience, the authors present the best practical advice science has to offer. Delivered with warmth, optimism, and humor, Beyond Addiction defines a new, empowered role for friends and family and a paradigm shift for the field. Learn how to tap the transformative power of relationships for positive change, guided by exercises and examples. Practice what really works in therapy and in everyday life, and discover many different treatment options along with tips for navigating the system. And have hope: this guide is designed not only to help someone change, but to help someone want to change.
Through the vivid, true stories of five people who journeyed into and out of addiction, a renowned neuroscientist explains why the "disease model" of addiction is wrong and illuminates the path to recovery. The psychiatric establishment and rehab industry in the Western world have branded addiction a brain disease. But in The Biology of Desire, cognitive neuroscientist and former addict Marc Lewis makes a convincing case that addiction is not a disease, and shows why the disease model has become an obstacle to healing. Lewis reveals addiction as an unintended consequence of the brain doing what it's supposed to do-seek pleasure and relief-in a world that's not cooperating. As a result, most treatment based on the disease model fails. Lewis shows how treatment can be retooled to achieve lasting recovery. This is enlightening and optimistic reading for anyone who has wrestled with addiction either personally or professionally.
Your partner's addiction takes a toll on both of your lives. That doesn't mean you should turn your back on the person you love. We've been told that staying with a partner who struggles with addiction—whether it be with drugs, alcohol, or addictive behaviors—means that we're enabling their destructive behavior. That wanting to help them means we're codependent, and that the best thing for both of us is to walk away from the relationship entirely. But is that true? When Your Partner Has an Addiction challenges the idea that the best chance for recovery—for the addict and their partner—is to walk away. Instead, it makes the revolutionary claim that you, and the love you have for your partner, can be a key part of his or her journey to recovery. Together, addiction activist and bestselling author Christopher Kennedy Lawford and psychotherapist Beverly Engel, MFT, take a fresh look at addiction and codependency—the latest research on what causes them and what the two have in common. Rather than treat addiction or codependency as disease or weakness, When Your Partner Has an Addiction honors the trauma and shame that often lie at their source and shows you how to use your love to combat that shame, allowing you to more effectively support your partner and heal yourself. The research proves that, while you cannot "fix" your partner, you can have a positive impact on their recovery. Whether you suffer from codependency, and whether your partner is already in recovery, When Your Partner Has an Addiction provides you with proven techniques and strategies to drastically improve your relationship and help get your partner the help he needs—without leaving and while taking care of yourself in the process.