Mothers' hilarious, outrageous, heartfelt admissions "Sometimes I lock myself in the bathroom." "I put an educational DVD on so I could have sex. It wasn't with my husband." Romi Lassally provides a judgment-free zone where women can reveal their mommy misdemeanors. From not feeling like cleaning up vomit in the middle of the night, to barking something completely inappropriate to the children, to wanting to be pawed by hands that aren't covered in jelly, the confessions pour in daily. Heartfelt and hilarious, naughty and nasty, frank and outrageous, the confessions culled together for this book represent the best-or the worst?-of those humbling hidden secrets of motherhood in all its glorious messiness as improvisation and triage. They dare to suggest that it's okay for moms to make mistakes, to have unkind thoughts, to publicly or privately embarrass themselves-and above all to be human.
Mothers' hilarious, outrageous, heartfelt admissions "Sometimes I lock myself in the bathroom." "I put an educational DVD on so I could have sex. It wasn't with my husband." Romi Lassally provides a judgment-free zone where women can reveal their mommy misdemeanors. From not feeling like cleaning up vomit in the middle of the night, to barking something completely inappropriate to the children, to wanting to be pawed by hands that aren't covered in jelly, the confessions pour in daily. Heartfelt and hilarious, naughty and nasty, frank and outrageous, the confessions culled together for this book represent the best-or the worst?-of those humbling hidden secrets of motherhood in all its glorious messiness as improvisation and triage. They dare to suggest that it's okay for moms to make mistakes, to have unkind thoughts, to publicly or privately embarrass themselves-and above all to be human.
Just when you thought suburbia was a great place to raise your kids, along comes this surprisingly candid account of life in a neighborhood not unlike your own. Sit back, relax, and enjoy this humorous look at life in the suburbs as seen through the eyes of a stay-at-home dad. True Confessions of a Real Mr. Mom is a funny, heart-warming and honest account of one man's journey through family life and the wisdom he has gained. You'll love this delightful and often touching autobiographical tale of marriage, raising children, and coping with the trials and tribulations associated with being everyone's favorite confidant.
Sometimes I just let my children fall asleep in front of the TV. In a culture that idealizes motherhood, it’s scary to confess that, in your house, being a mother is beautiful and dirty and joyful and frustrating all at once. Admitting that it’s not easy doesn’t make you a bad mom; at least, it shouldn’t. If I can’t survive my daughter as a toddler, how the hell am I going to get through the teenage years? When Jill Smokler was first home with her small children, she thought her blog would be something to keep friends and family updated. To her surprise, she hit a chord in the hearts of mothers everywhere. I end up doing my son’s homework. It’s wrong, but so much easier. Total strangers were contributing their views on that strange reality called motherhood. As other women shared their stories, Jill realized she wasn’t alone in her feelings of exhaustion and imperfection. My eighteen month old still can’t say “Mommy” but used the word “shit” in perfect context. But she sensed her readers were still holding back, so decided to start an anonymous confessional, a place where real moms could leave their most honest thoughts without fearing condemnation. I pretend to be happy but I cry every night in the shower. The reactions were amazing: some sad, some pee-in-your-pants funny, some brutally honest. But they were real, not a commercial glamorization. I clock out of motherhood at 8 P.M. and hide in the basement with my laptop and a beer. If you’re already a fan, lock the bathroom door on your whining kids, run a bubble bath, and settle in. If you’ve not encountered Scary Mommy before, break out a glass of champagne as well, because you’ll be toasting your initiation into a select club. I know why some animals eat their young. In chapters that cover husbands (The Biggest Baby of Them All) to homework (Didn’t I Already Graduate?), Confessions of a Scary Mommy combines all-new essays from Jill with the best of the anonymous confessions. Sometimes I wish my son was still little—then I hear kids screaming at the store. As Jill says, “We like to paint motherhood as picture perfect. A newborn peacefully resting on his mother’s chest. A toddler taking tentative first steps into his mother’s loving arms. A mother fluffing her daughter’s prom dress. These moments are indeed miraculous and joyful; they can also be few and far between.” Of course you adore your kids. Of course you would lay down your life for them. But be honest now: Have you ever wondered what possessed you to sign up for the job of motherhood? STOP! DO NOT OPEN THIS BOOK UNTIL YOU RECITE THESE VOWS! I shall remember that no mother is perfect and my children will thrive because, and sometimes even in spite, of me. I shall not preach to a fellow mother who has not asked my opinion. It’s none of my damn business. I shall maintain a sense of humor about all things motherhood.
From the creator of The Honest Toddler comes a fiction debut sure to be a must–read for mums everywhere There are good mums and bad mums – and then there are hot–mess mums. Introducing Ashley Keller, career girl turned stay–at–home mum who's trying to navigate the world of Pinterest–perfect, Facebook–fantastic and Instagram–impressive mommies but failing miserably. When Ashley gets the opportunity to participate in the Motherhood Better boot camp run by the mummy–blog–empire maven she idolises, she jumps at the chance to become the perfect mum she's always wanted to be. But will she fly high or flop? With her razor–sharp wit and knack for finding the funny in everything, Bunmi Laditan creates a character as flawed and lovable as Bridget Jones or Becky Bloomwood while hilariously lambasting the societal pressures placed upon every new mother. At its heart, Ashley's story reminds mums that there's no way to be perfect, but many ways to be great.
Being a mom, wife, or woman ain't easy....especially in the Frat House. I'm a mother of two boys just trying to survive the dirt, fart jokes, and testosterone, not to mention the body image issues, social awkwardness, and marital rollercoaster that comes with the territory of wife and woman. What I really want to say is I'm really just an average woman-JUST LIKE YOU! I'm sharing my story, my creative spin on everything from disciplining your kids to sex (no, I'm not talking about positions), just so you can see that you are not alone. I want to help you get through the day. This book is just a way for you to see that although it's average, it doesn't have to be boring. Put a creative spin on the average and just make it weird. So, if you're feelin' it, come get weird with me.
As Shanna Groves held her newborn son, she should have reveled in the joys of motherhood. But instead of hearing sounds she once took for granted - the doorbell, smoke alarms, baby cries - all she heard was silence. Then the buzzing started - the sound of locusts filling her head. What was wrong with her and most importantly, how could she care for her newborn son, if she couldn't even hear him cry? In Confessions of a Lip Reading Mom, Shanna Groves shares her struggle to find God's grace during her roller coaster ride of unexplained deafness. No matter the struggles you're facing, Shanna's honesty in sharing her emotional battle with a progressive hearing loss diagnosis, will inspire you to reach out for your heavenly Father's hand...and hang on tight. "
Modern Mom Probs: A Survival Guide for 21st Century Mothers is a guide for modern mothers trying to navigate the daily joys and worries they face. It sheds light on the experiences modern moms eat, sleep, and breathe…and obsess about. Using checklists, graphs, and smart, funny advice, this must-have book revels in the messiness and beauty of modern motherhood. Tara Clark, creator of the popular Instagram account “Modern Mom Probs,” started the conversation for moms looking for an online village. In this book, she continues the conversation with funny, easy-to-digest information, including advice from medical professionals. Inside, she’ll tackle how to: • Manage screen time without a meltdown • Navigate playground geopolitics • Overcome information overload • Teach your children about inclusivity • Find mom friends and keep them
Twelve-year-old Tru wants two things more than anything else in the world--to find a cure for her twin brother, Eddie, who is developmentally delayed, and to create her own television show. So the day Tru learns about a teen video competition on the local cable network, she knows that this is her change to make both of her dreams come true. But the more she gets involved in the making of her video documentary about Eddie, the more Tru begins to understand his special needs and the complexity of her relationship with him. Eddie seems like a burden from time to time, but he just may be the most important person in Tru's life. Written in the form of a computer diary, this refreshingly humorous novel, narrated by a sassy heroine sensitively portrays the struggles and triumph of living with a sibling with special needs.
One of the few books to explore lesbian parenting, these “hilarious, heart-wrenching, painfully honest tales of mommyhood” celebrate the ups and downs of being an LGBTQIA+ parent in the 21st century (Joey Solloway, creator of Transparent). After author Harlyn Aizley gave birth to her daughter, she watched in unanticipated horror as her partner scooped up the baby and said, “I'm your new mommy!” While they both had worked to find the perfect sperm donor, Aizley had spent nine months carrying the baby and hours in labor, so how could her partner claim to be their child's mommy? Many diapers later, Aizley began to appreciate the complexity of her partner’s new role as the other mother. Together, they searched for stories about families like their own, in which a woman has chosen to forgo her own birth experience so that she might support her partner in hers. They found very few. Now, in Confessions of the Other Mother, Aizley has put together an exciting collection of personal stories by women like her partner who are creating new parenting roles, redefining motherhood, and reshaping our view of two-parent families. Contributors include Hillary Goodridge, who was one of the lead plaintiffs in the case for same-sex marriage in Massachusetts, stand-up comedian Judy Gold, and psychologist and author Suzanne M. Johnson. This candid peek into a previously unexamined side of lesbian parenting is full of stories that are sometimes humorous, sometimes moving, but at all times celebratory. Each parenting tale sheds light on the many facets of motherhood, offering gay and straight readers alike a deeper understanding of what it means to love and parent in the twenty-first century.
