These Got Me Punched

These Got Me Punched

Author: Nicholas Stevens

Publisher: Mascot Books

Published: 2020-01-07

Total Pages: 240

ISBN-13: 9781643075181

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This is a book about kisses. Actually, it's about learning and growing and adapting and submitting, but the unifying feature is a kiss. Initially, it contained 49 stories-some accounts of the kiss, some where the kiss is an ancillary detail to a bigger story, some comprised of dialog, a poem, a song, some haikus, and even a single piece of fiction. Nicholas posed a challenge to his co-workers during one of their daily mundane tasks: remember the names of everyone they had ever kissed on the mouth. His co-workers were stumped, but Nicholas remembered them all. Good, bad, or other, they all meant something, and potential, intimacy, and the potential for intimacy created lasting impressions on an incurable (and hormonal) young romantic. Nicholas wrote the first 49 chapters as a homage to the 50th (and presumably last) woman he would ever kiss: his wife. The original plan was to write only 49 stories of kisses because the 50th story was theirs and theirs alone. It was a story that he thought had no ending. But the 50th story is included here, and it's also the namesake of the collection


Rachel Spinelli Punched Me in the Face

Rachel Spinelli Punched Me in the Face

Author: Paul Acampora

Publisher: Roaring Brook Press

Published: 2011-08-30

Total Pages: 175

ISBN-13: 1429976802

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Zachary's mom just up and disappeared from their home in Copper Lake, Colorado. The good news is that Zachary and his dad are trying to move on, and Falls, Connecticut is just the place for a fresh start. With the help of a new friend, Rachel, and her brother Teddy, Zachary is learning about new beginnings, the power of forgiveness, and the quirky people that make life interesting.


Things I Want to Punch in the Face

Things I Want to Punch in the Face

Author:

Publisher: Prospect Park Books

Published: 2015-08-17

Total Pages: 137

ISBN-13: 1938849574

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"Anger is like an essential vitamin, and Jen has given me even more reasons to be angry. I couldn't be happier or healthier."—Lewis Black, stand-up comedian, actor, author, and regular on The Daily Show The second edition of Things I Want to Punch in the Face brings humor writer Jennifer Worick's newest and most popular diatribes about the most annoying things in everyday life and modern American society, including: Cold-Pressed Coffee TED Talks Evites Cosplay Polar Bear Clubs Family Car Stickers Mixologists Scrabble Yoga Pants #blessed And there's more, so much more. From nail art to Hobbits, passwords to auto-tune, Worick takes aim at the copious bounty of annoyances that irk her shit. And ours. Jennifer Worick has written two dozen books on pop culture, humor, and crafts, including two Worst Case Scenario books (Chronicle), the hit Nancy Drew's Guide to Life (Running Press), and the successful first edition of Things I Want to Punch in the Face (Prospect Park Books). She has toured the nation delivering a hilarious slide show on dating and sex to college students; she co-runs The Business of Books; she writes two blogs; and she has more than twenty-two thousand Twitter followers. Jen lives in Seattle, Washington.


People I Want to Punch in the Throat

People I Want to Punch in the Throat

Author: Jen Mann

Publisher: Ballantine Books

Published: 2014-09-09

Total Pages: 226

ISBN-13: 0345549988

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NATIONAL BESTSELLER • A debut collection of witty, biting essays laced with a surprising warmth, from Jen Mann, the writer behind the popular blog People I Want to Punch in the Throat People I want to punch in the throat: • anyone who feels the need to bling her washer and dryer • humblebraggers • people who treat their pets like children Jen Mann doesn’t have a filter, which sometimes gets her in trouble with her neighbors, her fellow PTA moms, and that one woman who tried to sell her sex toys at a home shopping party. Known for her hilariously acerbic observations on her blog, People I Want to Punch in the Throat, Mann now brings her sharp wit to bear on suburban life, marriage, and motherhood in this laugh-out-loud collection of essays. From the politics of joining a play group, to the thrill of mothers’ night out at the gun range, to the rewards of your most meaningful relationship (the one you have with your cleaning lady), nothing is sacred or off-limits. So the next time you find yourself wearing fuzzy bunny pajamas in the school carpool line or accidentally stuck at a co-worker’s swingers party, just think, What would Jen Mann do? Or better yet, buy her book. Praise for People I Want to Punch in the Throat “People I Want to Punch in the Throat is so good that it’ll make you want to adopt all the cats in the world. I’m not sure about the correlation, but it’s that good. It should come with a warning.”—Jenny Lawson, author of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened “Jen Mann has an amazing way of telling stories that will make you cringe and burst out laughing at the same time. From swinger parties to racist toddlers, she makes the suburbs unbelievably funny.”—Karen Alpert, author of I Heart My Little A-Holes “Jen Mann says the things we’re all too afraid to say. Her honest and hilarious writing style reminds me of David Sedaris and Tina Fey.”—Robin O’Bryant, author of Ketchup Is a Vegetable: And Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves “Jen Mann’s shrewd and unrelenting assault on the absurdity of suburban life is an honest peek into the occasional nightmare that is part of living the American dream. I love Jen. I wish she was my neighbor. It’s so refreshing to know that I’m not the only one who wants to punch almost everyone in the f***ing throat.”—Nicole Knepper, author of Moms Who Drink And Swear


A Very Punchable Face

A Very Punchable Face

Author: Colin Jost

Publisher: Crown

Published: 2020-07-14

Total Pages: 346

ISBN-13: 1101906324

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NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • In these hilarious essays, the Saturday Night Live head writer and Weekend Update co-anchor learns how to take a beating. “I always wanted to punch his face before I read this book. Now I just want to kick him in the balls.”—Larry David NAMED ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY Cosmopolitan • Vulture • Parade If there’s one trait that makes someone well suited to comedy, it’s being able to take a punch—metaphorically and, occasionally, physically. From growing up in a family of firefighters on Staten Island to commuting three hours a day to high school and “seeing the sights” (like watching a Russian woman throw a stroller off the back of a ferry), to attending Harvard while Facebook was created, Jost shares how he has navigated the world like a slightly smarter Forrest Gump. You’ll also discover things about Jost that will surprise and confuse you, like how Jimmy Buffett saved his life, how Czech teenagers attacked him with potato salad, how an insect laid eggs inside his legs, and how he competed in a twenty-five-man match at WrestleMania (and almost won). You'll go behind the scenes at SNL and Weekend Update (where he's written some of the most memorable sketches and jokes of the past fifteen years). And you’ll experience the life of a touring stand-up comedian—from performing in rural college cafeterias at noon to opening for Dave Chappelle at Radio City Music Hall. For every accomplishment (hosting the Emmys), there is a setback (hosting the Emmys). And for every absurd moment (watching paramedics give CPR to a raccoon), there is an honest, emotional one (recounting his mother’s experience on the scene of the Twin Towers’ collapse on 9/11). Told with a healthy dose of self-deprecation, A Very Punchable Face reveals the brilliant mind behind some of the dumbest sketches on television, and lays bare the heart and humor of a hardworking guy—with a face you can’t help but want to punch.


Before We Were Strangers

Before We Were Strangers

Author: Renée Carlino

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

Published: 2015-08-18

Total Pages: 320

ISBN-13: 1501105787

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From the USA TODAY bestselling author of Sweet Thing and Nowhere But Here comes a love story about a Craigslist “missed connection” post that gives two people a second chance at love fifteen years after they were separated in New York City. To the Green-eyed Lovebird: We met fifteen years ago, almost to the day, when I moved my stuff into the NYU dorm room next to yours at Senior House. You called us fast friends. I like to think it was more. We lived on nothing but the excitement of finding ourselves through music (you were obsessed with Jeff Buckley), photography (I couldn’t stop taking pictures of you), hanging out in Washington Square Park, and all the weird things we did to make money. I learned more about myself that year than any other. Yet, somehow, it all fell apart. We lost touch the summer after graduation when I went to South America to work for National Geographic. When I came back, you were gone. A part of me still wonders if I pushed you too hard after the wedding… I didn’t see you again until a month ago. It was a Wednesday. You were rocking back on your heels, balancing on that thick yellow line that runs along the subway platform, waiting for the F train. I didn’t know it was you until it was too late, and then you were gone. Again. You said my name; I saw it on your lips. I tried to will the train to stop, just so I could say hello. After seeing you, all of the youthful feelings and memories came flooding back to me, and now I’ve spent the better part of a month wondering what your life is like. I might be totally out of my mind, but would you like to get a drink with me and catch up on the last decade and a half? M


Ladies Who Punch

Ladies Who Punch

Author: Ramin Setoodeh

Publisher: Macmillan

Published: 2019-04-02

Total Pages: 248

ISBN-13: 1250112109

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THE INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES AND WALL STREET JOURNAL BESTSELLER Like Fire & Fury, the gossipy real-life soap opera behind a serious show. When Barbara Walters launched The View, network executives told her that hosting it would tarnish her reputation. Instead, within ten years, she’d revolutionized morning TV and made household names of her co-hosts: Joy Behar, Star Jones, Meredith Vieira and Elisabeth Hasselbeck. But the daily chatfest didn’t just comment on the news. It became the news. And the headlines barely scratched the surface. Based on unprecedented access, including stunning interviews with nearly every host, award-winning journalist Ramin Setoodeh takes you backstage where the stars really spoke their minds. Here's the full story of how Star, then Rosie, then Whoopi tried to take over the show, while Barbara struggled to maintain control of it all, a modern-day Lear with her media-savvy daughters. You'll read about how so many co-hosts had a tough time fitting in, suffered humiliations at the table, then pushed themselves away, feeling betrayed—one nearly quitting during a commercial. Meanwhile, the director was being driven insane, especially by Rosie. Setoodeh uncovers the truth about Star’s weight loss and wedding madness. Rosie’s feud with Trump. Whoopi’s toxic relationship with Rosie. Barbara’s difficulty stepping away. Plus, all the unseen hugs, snubs, tears—and one dead rodent. Ladies Who Punch shows why The View can be mimicked and mocked, but it can never be matched.


I Know This Much Is True

I Know This Much Is True

Author: Wally Lamb

Publisher: Cambridge University Press

Published: 1998-06-03

Total Pages: 884

ISBN-13: 9780060391621

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With his stunning debut novel, She's Come Undone, Wally Lamb won the adulation of critics and readers with his mesmerizing tale of one woman's painful yet triumphant journey of self-discovery. Now, this brilliantly talented writer returns with I Know This Much Is True, a heartbreaking and poignant multigenerational saga of the reproductive bonds of destruction and the powerful force of forgiveness. A masterpiece that breathtakingly tells a story of alienation and connection, power and abuse, devastation and renewal--this novel is a contemporary retelling of an ancient Hindu myth. A proud king must confront his demons to achieve salvation. Change yourself, the myth instructs, and you will inhabit a renovated world. When you're the same brother of a schizophrenic identical twin, the tricky thing about saving yourself is the blood it leaves on your bands--the little inconvenience of the look-alike corpse at your feet. And if you're into both survival of the fittest and being your brother's keeper--if you've promised your dying mother--then say so long to sleep and hello to the middle of the night. Grab a book or a beer. Get used to Letterman's gap-toothed smile of the absurd, or the view of the bedroom ceiling, or the influence of random selection. Take it from a godless insomniac. Take it from the uncrazy twin--the guy who beat the biochemical rap. Dominick Birdsey's entire life has been compromised and constricted by anger and fear, by the paranoid schizophrenic twin brother he both deeply loves and resents, and by the past they shared with their adoptive father, Ray, a spit-and-polish ex-Navy man (the five-foot-six-inch sleeping giant who snoozed upstairs weekdays in the spare room and built submarines at night), and their long-suffering mother, Concettina, a timid woman with a harelip that made her shy and self-conscious: She holds a loose fist to her face to cover her defective mouth--her perpetual apology to the world for a birth defect over which she'd had no control. Born in the waning moments of 1949 and the opening minutes of 1950, the twins are physical mirror images who grow into separate yet connected entities: the seemingly strong and protective yet fearful Dominick, his mother's watchful "monkey"; and the seemingly weak and sweet yet noble Thomas, his mother's gentle "bunny." From childhood, Dominick fights for both separation and wholeness--and ultimately self-protection--in a house of fear dominated by Ray, a bully who abuses his power over these stepsons whose biological father is a mystery. I was still afraid of his anger but saw how he punished weakness--pounced on it. Out of self-preservation I hid my fear, Dominick confesses. As for Thomas, he just never knew how to play defense. He just didn't get it. But Dominick's talent for survival comes at an enormous cost, including the breakup of his marriage to the warm, beautiful Dessa, whom he still loves. And it will be put to the ultimate test when Thomas, a Bible-spouting zealot, commits an unthinkable act that threatens the tenuous balance of both his and Dominick's lives. To save himself, Dominick must confront not only the pain of his past but the dark secrets he has locked deep within himself, and the sins of his ancestors--a quest that will lead him beyond the confines of his blue-collar New England town to the volcanic foothills of Sicily 's Mount Etna, where his ambitious and vengefully proud grandfather and a namesake Domenico Tempesta, the sostegno del famiglia, was born. Each of the stories Ma told us about Papa reinforced the message that he was the boss, that he ruled the roost, that what he said went. Searching for answers, Dominick turns to the whispers of the dead, to the pages of his grandfather's handwritten memoir, The History of Domenico Onofrio Tempesta, a Great Man from Humble Beginnings. Rendered with touches of magic realism, Domenico's fablelike tale--in which monkeys enchant and religious statues weep--becomes the old man's confession--an unwitting legacy of contrition that reveals the truth's of Domenico's life, Dominick learns that power, wrongly used, defeats the oppressor as well as the oppressed, and now, picking through the humble shards of his deconstructed life, he will search for the courage and love to forgive, to expiate his and his ancestors' transgressions, and finally to rebuild himself beyond the haunted shadow of his twin. Set against the vivid panoply of twentieth-century America and filled with richly drawn, memorable characters, this deeply moving and thoroughly satisfying novel brings to light humanity's deepest needs and fears, our aloneness, our desire for love and acceptance, our struggle to survive at all costs. Joyous, mystical, and exquisitely written, I Know This Much Is True is an extraordinary reading experience that will leave no reader untouched.


Dude, the World's Gonna Punch You in the Face

Dude, the World's Gonna Punch You in the Face

Author: Kris Wilder

Publisher:

Published: 2016-04-28

Total Pages: 326

ISBN-13: 9780692693490

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"As an emergency room physician I see a lot of injuries. This book can save you a lot of pain and trauma, not just physical but also emotional and financial as well. Do yourself a favor, read it, and stay out of my Emergency Room." - Jeff Cooper, MDWe only get one shot at life. And, it's really easy to screw that up because the world wants to punch us all in the face. Hard! But, what if you knew when to duck? What if you were warned about the dangers-and possibilities-ahead of time? Here is how to man-up and take on whatever the world throws at you.This powerful book arms young men with knowledge about: * Love* Wealth* Education* Faith* Government* Leadership* Work* Relationships* Life* Violence It won't prevent all mistakes, nothing will, but it can keep you from making the impactful ones that you'll regret the most. This book is quick knowledge, easy to read, and brutally frank, just the way the world gives it to you, except without the pain. Read on. Learn how to see the bad things coming and avoid them. Set yourself up to be a success!"1,700,000 people were murdered by the Khmer Rouge. I spent the first two years of my life in the Cambodian jungle running from them. I now have an accounting degree and a career with a leader in the logistics and distribution industry. The authors helped me get there. Now they've put it in a book for you. You should listen." - Sophal Keo, Senior Accountant


Tristan Strong Punches a Hole in the Sky (Volume 1)

Tristan Strong Punches a Hole in the Sky (Volume 1)

Author: Kwame Mbalia

Publisher: Disney Electronic Content

Published: 2019-10-15

Total Pages: 491

ISBN-13: 1368054412

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Best-selling author Rick Riordan presents Kwame Mbalia's epic fantasy, a middle grade American Gods set in a richly-imagined world populated with African American folk heroes and West African gods. Seventh grader Tristan Strong feels anything but strong ever since he failed to save his best friend when they were in a bus accident together. All he has left of Eddie is the journal his friend wrote stories in. Tristan is dreading the month he's going to spend on his grandparents' farm in Alabama, where he's being sent to heal from the tragedy. But on his first night there, a sticky creature shows up in his bedroom and steals Eddie's notebook. Tristan chases after it--is that a doll?--and a tug-of-war ensues between them underneath a Bottle Tree. In a last attempt to wrestle the journal out of the creature's hands, Tristan punches the tree, accidentally ripping open a chasm into the MidPass, a volatile place with a burning sea, haunted bone ships, and iron monsters that are hunting the inhabitants of this world. Tristan finds himself in the middle of a battle that has left black American folk heroes John Henry and Brer Rabbit exhausted. In order to get back home, Tristan and these new allies will need to entice the god Anansi, the Weaver, to come out of hiding and seal the hole in the sky. But bartering with the trickster Anansi always comes at a price. Can Tristan save this world before he loses more of the things he loves?