The Occasionally Accurate Annals of Football
The Occasionally Accurate Annals of Football

Author: Dan Patrick

Publisher: BenBella Books

Published: 2023-09-05

Total Pages: 241

ISBN-13: 1637743688

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Celebrated sports commentator Dan Patrick and comedy writer Joel H. Cohen team up with some of America’s greatest* comedy writers to tell you everything and nothing about America’s sport!** *“greatest” is actually just a bad type-o for “mediocre” **No, not darts, we mean pro football. (book on professional darts coming never) Did you know . . . Tom Brady is a very good quarterback. (True, but only according to statistics and accomplishments.) The formation of the NFL took place in an auto dealership. The founders started an institution and also were convinced to buy rust-proofing for it. (Half true.) The Carolina Panthers originated as a book club but turned to football when they couldn’t agree on which John Grisham novel to read. (Maybe true. Research isn’t our thing.) The Occasionally Accurate Annals of Football is a love letter to America’s favorite game, full of highlights, history, great plays and players, scandals, Super Bowls, and a series of lies, idiotic theories, baseless conspiracies, a diet that may kill you and, of course, a poorly-written haiku. The book takes the credibility Dan Patrick has built up over a stellar broadcast career (ESPN, NBC Sports, something called “Peacock”) and risks it all with these falsehoods, half-truths, and even some quarter-truths. This parade of inanity is co-written by Joel H. Cohen (3 Emmys, several cavities due to poor flossing) and includes contributions from certifiably hilarious people, such as: Andy Richter (Late Night with Conan O’Brien) Brian Kelley (The Simpsons, Saturday Night Live) Chuck Tatham (Modern Family, Arrested Development, How I Met Your Mother) Mike Price (The Simpsons, F is for Family) Donick Cary (Silicon Valley, New Girl) Christine Nangle (Inside Amy Schumer, Saturday Night Live) Broti Gupta (The New Yorker, The New York Times, The Simpsons) Rob Cohen (Saturday Night Live, Big Bang Theory) Illustrated in two colors (black and white are colors, right?) The Occasionally Accurate Annals of Football informs (a little), entertains (a lot), and is the perfect gift to taunt the Jets fans in your life.

Outtakes: Dan Patrick
Outtakes: Dan Patrick

Author: Dan Patrick

Publisher: Hyperion

Published: 2000-05-10

Total Pages: 0

ISBN-13: 9780786885398

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Take out the trash with Reggie Miller, ride the bus with Jerome Bettis, and get to first base with Mark Grace: some of the bestand funniestinterviews from ESPN's favorite sports authority Dan Patrick is never at a loss for words. Whether he's offering his own brand of irascible commentary on SportsCenter or taking on today's superstars in his enormously popular column in ESPN The Magazine, he always manages to offer refreshing insight that's as outrageous and entertaining as the world of sports itself. This hilarious collection of never before published "Outtakes" from his popular column features 25 interviews with some of today's most famous sports personalities, such as Mark McGwire, Wayne Gretzky, and Barry Sanders, each preceded with new and colorful introductions that offer Patrick's uncensored reflections. Dan Patrick's no-holds-barred approach to interviewing captures the players like no one can, and in this collection of new and greatest hits he is certain to win more fans than ever before.

Playmakers
Playmakers

Author: Mike Florio

Publisher: Public Affairs

Published: 2022-03-15

Total Pages: 288

ISBN-13: 9781541700185

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The story of a modern NFL that can't get out of its own way--and can't stop making money For almost twenty years now, the NFL has been simultaneously an athletic, financial, and cultural powerhouse--and a league that can't seem to go more than a few weeks without stumbling into a scandal. Whether it's about domestic violence, performance-enhancing drugs, racism, or head trauma, the NFL always seems to be in some kind of trouble. Yet no matter the drama, the TV networks keep showing games, the revenue keeps going up, and the viewers keep tuning in. How can a sports league--or any organization--operate this way? Why do the negative stories keep happening, and why don't they ever seem to affect the bottom line? In this wide-ranging book, Mike Florio takes readers from the boardroom to the locker room, from draft day to Super Bowl night, answering these questions and more, and showing what really goes on in the sport that America can't seem to quit. Known for his constant stream of new information and his incisive commentary, Florio delivers again in this book. With new insights and reporting on scandals past and present, this book is sure to be the talk of the league.

The Big Show
The Big Show

Author: Keith Olbermann

Publisher: Beyond Words/Atria Books

Published: 1997

Total Pages: 326

ISBN-13: 9780671009182

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ESPN is the largest cable network in the U.S., reaching 72 percent of American television households, and "SportsCenter" is ESPN's most popular show. As co-anchors for the show, Keith Olbermann and Dan Patrick have become two of the most recognizable faces on TV. In "The Big Show", Keith and Dan reveal the facts behind their successful program. 50 photos.

Alcoholics Anonymous
Alcoholics Anonymous

Author: Bill W.

Publisher: Penguin

Published: 2014-09-04

Total Pages: 418

ISBN-13: 0698176936

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A 75th anniversary e-book version of the most important and practical self-help book ever written, Alcoholics Anonymous. Here is a special deluxe edition of a book that has changed millions of lives and launched the modern recovery movement: Alcoholics Anonymous. This edition not only reproduces the original 1939 text of Alcoholics Anonymous, but as a special bonus features the complete 1941 Saturday Evening Post article “Alcoholics Anonymous” by journalist Jack Alexander, which, at the time, did as much as the book itself to introduce millions of seekers to AA’s program. Alcoholics Anonymous has touched and transformed myriad lives, and finally appears in a volume that honors its posterity and impact.

The Big-Ass Swear Word Coloring Book
The Big-Ass Swear Word Coloring Book

Author: Caitlin Peterson

Publisher: Castle Point Books

Published: 2018-07-31

Total Pages: 176

ISBN-13: 1250183146

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The biggest, baddest swear word coloring book! This big ol' book features all positive-yet-filthy sayings to color and display. Why not color and give “The fucking sun will come out tomorrow” to a friend who’s had bad news? Or “When life hands you lemons, squeeze those bitches into your vodka” to a friend who’s feeling down. Everyone can relate to these bold, sassy sentiments, and can relax while coloring the f*ckers in. There’s no end to the fun of coloring happy sh*t! Features: -Perforated pages for easy framing -One-side printing so colors don't bleed through -Instant stress relief and humor

American Idol
American Idol

Author: Richard Rushfield

Publisher: Hyperion

Published: 2011-01-18

Total Pages: 0

ISBN-13: 9781401324124

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The currency is fame, and it’s bigger than money, more desired than power. Each season American Idol delivers on a promise whose epic scope is unparalleled in the annals of competition: to take an unknown dreamer from the middle of America and turn him or her into a genuine star. It has become not only the biggest show on television, but the biggest force in all of entertainment; its alumni dominate the recording charts and Broadway, win Academy Awards, and sweep up Grammys. In fact, American Idol has reshaped the very idea of celebrity. But it didn't start out that way. When the little singing contest debuted as a summer replacement on the U.S. airwaves, it was packed between reruns and low-cost filler. The promise that it would find America's next pop star produced a hearty round of guffaws from the country's media critics. Now, some ten years and millions of records later, no one is laughing. American Idol: The Untold Story chronicles the triumphs and travails, the harrowing backstage drama and the nail-biting onstage battles that built this revolutionary show. In this revealing book, veteran journalist Richard Rushfield goes deeper inside the circus than any reporter ever has. Candid interviews with Idol alumni, including Simon Fuller and Simon Cowell, shed new light on the show that changed the entertainment industry. And because Rushfield had full access to the people who created the show, starred in it, and kept it atop the pop culture pyramid, this book is the first to take Americans behind the curtain and tell what has really been happening on the world's most watched and speculated-about stage.

Pappyland
Pappyland

Author: Wright Thompson

Publisher: Penguin

Published: 2020-11-10

Total Pages: 257

ISBN-13: 0735221251

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The New York Times bestseller! “A warm and loving reflection that, like good bourbon, will stand the test of time.” —Eric Asimov, The New York Times “Bourbon is for sharing, and so is Pappyland.”—The Wall Street Journal The story of how Julian Van Winkle III, the caretaker of the most coveted cult Kentucky Bourbon whiskey in the world, fought to protect his family's heritage and preserve the taste of his forebears, in a world where authenticity, like his product, is in very short supply. Following his father’s death decades ago, Julian Van Winkle stepped in to try to save the bourbon business his grandfather had founded on the mission statement: “We make fine bourbon—at a profit if we can, at a loss if we must, but always fine bourbon.” With the company in its wilderness years, Julian committed to safeguarding his namesake’s legacy or going down with the ship. Then he discovered that hundreds of barrels from the family distillery had survived their sale to a multinational conglomerate. The whiskey that Julian produced after recovering those barrels would immediately be hailed as the greatest in the world—and soon would be the hardest to find. Once they had been used up, a fresh challenge began: preserving the taste of Pappy in a new age. Wright Thompson was invited to ride along as Julian undertook the task. From the Van Winkle family, Wright learned not only about great bourbon but about complicated legacies and the rewards of honoring your people and your craft—lessons that he couldn’t help but apply to his own work and life. May we all be lucky enough to find some of ourselves, as Wright Thompson did, in Pappyland.

This Book Will Make You Fall Asleep
This Book Will Make You Fall Asleep

Author: Summersdale

Publisher: Summersdale

Published: 2020-02-04

Total Pages: 160

ISBN-13: 9781786859976

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It's said that counting sheep helps you sleep, and with this book, you really can! Simply count the sheep on each page to help ease you into the land of nod. If you're tired of sleepless nights, and wish you could drop off in two shakes of a lamb's tail, then this book is for you! Filled with more sheep than you can count, and plenty of relaxing puzzles, this soporific little volume will have you snoozing in no time.

Only Connect
Only Connect

Author: Jack Waley-Cohen

Publisher: Random House

Published: 2019-09-12

Total Pages: 480

ISBN-13: 1473531950

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WHT CNNCTS THS CLS? Britain's most fiendishly difficult quiz is back. Do you have what it takes to make it to the grand final? With their first bestselling quiz book, the Only Connect team tested your lateral thinking with killer connections, challenging sequences and byzantine walls. Now, Only Connect question-setter (and former champion) Jack Waley-Cohen returns with a NEW collection of 200 cryptic, brain-busting questions, including many never-before-broadcast and all-new ones exclusive to the book. Organized into a series of discrete 4-round games, each game increases in difficulty, as you try to reach the grand final. It's like having your very own full series of Only Connect at home. With a healthy dose of trivia between games (What are the greatest ever Only Connect questions? Who is the best team of all time?) and an introduction by presenter Victoria Coren Mitchell, The Only Connect Quiz Book will take you skills to a new level. So limber up your frontal lobes, and get ready to pit your wits against the toughest quiz on TV.