Discover hundreds of jokes for every occasion! Why was the limbo dancer shocked when his wallet was stolen right out of his back pocket? Because he didn't think anyone could stoop so low. The ultimate collection of the world’s greatest funnies, The Best Joke Book (Period) keeps you laughing for hours on end. Inside, you'll find hundreds of jokes that are guaranteed to stir up a room full of smiles, including knock-knocks, witty puns, and one-liners. Complete with hilarious quotes from celebrities like Jon Stewart, Lewis Black, and Jerry Seinfeld, everyone will revel in each gut-busting moment. So whether you’re looking to add a few jokes to your repertoire, impress your buds, or improve your banter, this sidesplitting book arms you with the perfect joke for any occasion!
From road-crossing chickens and classic knock-knock jokes to the naughty, nice, and totally soused, no subject goes unmocked in this collection of more than 1,500 jokes, packaged in a deluxe embossed board cover with two-color line art throughout.
If you've ever wanted to be the life of the party but were unsure of where to start, this book will point you in the right direction! Contained within these pages are hundreds of the most hilarious jokes you'll ever read. From one-liners to enthralling sagas, this collection is genuinely The Best Joke Book Ever, and will entertain adults and children of all ages.This carefully curated collection includes new jokes, classic jokes, animals and blondes, married couples and lovers, doctors and patients, church-goers, students, lawyers, crooks and more!
Over 500 giggles, groans, and belly laughs! Kids can’t resist sharing jokes (even you try to stop them), so they always need a fresh supply. We’ve stuffed the pages of this little joke book with the funniest jokes we could find. Old favorites, new favorites, and a few festering stinkers, all guaranteed to make kids laugh out loud. You’ll find Q&A jokes, knock-knock jokes, riddles, and one-liners. And, of course, we’ve included entire chapters of those all-time kid-pleasers: elephant jokes, pirate jokes, and space jokes. Here’s a sampling: What's black and white, black and white, black and white? A penguin rolling down a hill. Why don’t zombies eat clowns? They taste funny. Why did the hen scold her chicks? They were using fowl language. What kind of books do skunks read? Best-smellers! How does Darth Vader like his toast? On the dark side. . . . and many more!
Winner of the Pulitzer Prize “A masterwork . . . the novel astonishes with its inventiveness . . . it is nothing less than a grand comic fugue.”—The New York Times Book Review A Confederacy of Dunces is an American comic masterpiece. John Kennedy Toole's hero, one Ignatius J. Reilly, is "huge, obese, fractious, fastidious, a latter-day Gargantua, a Don Quixote of the French Quarter. His story bursts with wholly original characters, denizens of New Orleans' lower depths, incredibly true-to-life dialogue, and the zaniest series of high and low comic adventures" (Henry Kisor, Chicago Sun-Times).
The complete collection of the World's Greatest Dad Jokes is here, with more puns, quips, and corny one-liners than ever that are sure to get eyes rolling Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe The World's Greatest Dad Jokes: The Complete Collection is here, with more puns, quips, and corny one-liners than ever that are sure to get eyes rolling. With hundreds of jokes that will make you groan--then make you smile. This book is jam-packed with clever quips and unbearable wisecracks that are so bad, they're good. Now the dad joke aficionado in your life will never run out of puns, no matter how much you might want them to. The perfect gift for the dad who thinks he's heard them all, this book is sure to add even more jokes to his repertoire, for better or worse.
"I come from Des Moines. Somebody had to." And, as soon as Bill Bryson was old enough, he left. Des Moines couldn't hold him, but it did lure him back. After ten years in England he returned to the land of his youth, and drove almost 14,000 miles in search of a mythical small town called Amalgam, the kind of smiling village where the movies from his youth were set. Instead he drove through a series of horrific burgs, which he renamed Smellville, Fartville, Coleslaw, Coma, and Doldrum. At best his search led him to Anywhere, USA, a lookalike strip of gas stations, motels and hamburger outlets populated by obese and slow-witted hicks with a partiality for synthetic fibres. He discovered a continent that was doubly lost: lost to itself because he found it blighted by greed, pollution, mobile homes and television; lost to him because he had become a foreigner in his own country.
The #1 New York Times bestselling (mostly true) memoir from the hilarious author of Furiously Happy. “Gaspingly funny and wonderfully inappropriate.”—O, The Oprah Magazine When Jenny Lawson was little, all she ever wanted was to fit in. That dream was cut short by her fantastically unbalanced father and a morbidly eccentric childhood. It did, however, open up an opportunity for Lawson to find the humor in the strange shame-spiral that is her life, and we are all the better for it. In the irreverent Let’s Pretend This Never Happened, Lawson’s long-suffering husband and sweet daughter help her uncover the surprising discovery that the most terribly human moments—the ones we want to pretend never happened—are the very same moments that make us the people we are today. For every intellectual misfit who thought they were the only ones to think the things that Lawson dares to say out loud, this is a poignant and hysterical look at the dark, disturbing, yet wonderful moments of our lives. Readers Guide Inside
NEW YORK TIMES BOOK REVIEW EDITORS’ CHOICE • An outsider who can travel between worlds discovers a secret that threatens the very fabric of the multiverse in this stunning debut, a powerful examination of identity, privilege, and belonging. WINNER OF THE COMPTON CROOK AWARD • FINALIST FOR THE LOCUS AWARD • “Gorgeous writing, mind-bending world-building, razor-sharp social commentary, and a main character who demands your attention—and your allegiance.”—Rob Hart, author of The Warehouse ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR—NPR, Library Journal, Book Riot Multiverse travel is finally possible, but there’s just one catch: No one can visit a world where their counterpart is still alive. Enter Cara, whose parallel selves happen to be exceptionally good at dying—from disease, turf wars, or vendettas they couldn’t outrun. Cara’s life has been cut short on 372 worlds in total. On this dystopian Earth, however, Cara has survived. Identified as an outlier and therefore a perfect candidate for multiverse travel, Cara is plucked from the dirt of the wastelands. Now what once made her marginalized has finally become an unexpected source of power. She has a nice apartment on the lower levels of the wealthy and walled-off Wiley City. She works—and shamelessly flirts—with her enticing yet aloof handler, Dell, as the two women collect off-world data for the Eldridge Institute. She even occasionally leaves the city to visit her family in the wastes, though she struggles to feel at home in either place. So long as she can keep her head down and avoid trouble, Cara is on a sure path to citizenship and security. But trouble finds Cara when one of her eight remaining doppelgängers dies under mysterious circumstances, plunging her into a new world with an old secret. What she discovers will connect her past and her future in ways she could have never imagined—and reveal her own role in a plot that endangers not just her world but the entire multiverse. “Clever characters, surprise twists, plenty of action, and a plot that highlights social and racial inequities in astute prose.”—Library Journal (starred review)
