Confessions of a Slightly Neurotic Hitwoman

Confessions of a Slightly Neurotic Hitwoman

Author: JB Lynn

Publisher: Harper Collins

Published: 2012-01-24

Total Pages: 254

ISBN-13: 0062134620

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Maggie Lee is not your average hitwoman. For one thing, she's never killed anyone. For another, after hitting her head in the car accident that killed her sister, her new best friend is a talking lizard—a picky eater, obsessed with Wheel of Fortune, that only Maggie can hear. Maggie, who can barely take care of herself, is desperate to help her injured and orphaned niece get the best medical care possible, so she reluctantly accepts a mobster's lucrative job offer: major cash to kill his monstrous son-in-law. Paired with Patrick Mulligan, a charming murder mentor (who happens to moonlight as a police detective), Maggie stumbles down her new career path, contending with self-doubt, three meddling aunts, a semi-psychic friend predicting her doom, and a day job she hates. Oh, and let's not forget about Paul Kowalski, the sexy beat cop who could throw her ass in jail if he finds out what she's up to. Training has never been so complicated! And, this time, Maggie has to get the job done. Because if she doesn't . . . she's the mob's next target.


The Hitwoman and the Neurotic Witness

The Hitwoman and the Neurotic Witness

Author: JB Lynn

Publisher: Jennifer Baum

Published: 2019-05-21

Total Pages: 170

ISBN-13:

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When her apartment building is blown to smithereens, bumbling hitwoman Maggie Lee is forced to move back into the Bed & Breakfast she grew up in. Living with her three meddling aunts is bad enough, but it just so happens that the B&B is also occupied by a U.S. Marshal, an FBI agent, her old friend Zeke who’s on a mysterious mission, and a woman who claims she can see dead people. These aren’t the kinds of roomies Maggie wants to spend time with, considering that in order to pay for her niece’s medical care she supplements her income by killing people. ​Maggie avoids arrest and deals with a crazier-than-usual home life while trying to track down exactly who is blowing up the holdings of various crime families. To make matters worse, she’s walking a precarious tightrope between keeping her mobster bosses happy and protecting her murder mentor (and almost lover) Patrick Mulligan. ​Aided by the warped predictions of her semi-psychic friend, her sarcastic, demanding, talking lizard and an always ravenous, dyslexic Doberman, Maggie juggles keeping secrets, unraveling riddles and protecting those she loves. Can she do it all? Or will she suffer yet another unspeakable loss?


The Hitwoman’s Act of Contrition

The Hitwoman’s Act of Contrition

Author: JB Lynn

Publisher: Jennifer Baum

Published:

Total Pages: 179

ISBN-13:

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Imagine a high-strung, comfort loving hitwoman at a rustic spiritual retreat. Things are finally looking up for Maggie Lee. Her almost-lover Patrick is taking steps (albeit deadly ones) to insure they’ll have a future together, her niece Katie is about to be released from the hospital, her sister Marlene has stopped turning tricks and started tossing pizzas, and Maggie has a chance to land a new (legal) job. If only God would stop hounding her to apologize to her mother, Maggie would be pretty close to content with her life. When Maggie agrees to take out a new target, using a spiritual retreat as her cover story, she ends up with a spoon (long story), an odd, selectively mute roommate, and a chance to save a life. As Maggie struggles to balance all the important people in her life and deliver on the deadly contract, she begins to believe that God may be right about the act of contrition he’s demanded…but will she live long enough to do it?


The Hitwoman in a Pickle

The Hitwoman in a Pickle

Author: JB Lynn

Publisher: Jennifer Baum

Published: 2019-05-21

Total Pages: 186

ISBN-13:

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The klutzy contract killer must enlist the help of both her psychic friend, Armani, and her ever-growing collection of talking pets, as she desperately searches for not one, but two, missing relatives. At the same time she’s trying to keep the peace in her crazy family and complete an unwanted assignment from mob boss, Delveccio, which could end with her on ice. And oh yeah, she’s got a date with a certain hot manny. Maggie and friends follow a crazy and convoluted path to try to save the day, but will an unexpected enemy get the upper hand? ​


The Hitwoman Goes to Prison

The Hitwoman Goes to Prison

Author: JB Lynn

Publisher: Jennifer Baum

Published: 2019-12-27

Total Pages: 197

ISBN-13:

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Family is everything. That’s the motto Maggie Lee lives by. She’s proven that she’ll do anything (even become an assassin…albeit an inept one, as God likes to remind her) to take care of those she loves. Even when they drive her crazy. But as Maggie attempts to reunite a young boy with his mother, her own family is in danger of falling apart. The human members are facing a heartbreaking loss, the animals are mutinying against one of their own, and a missing skull is causing trouble for everyone. Maggie may be able to save an innocent’s life, but can she save her family?


The Hitwoman Hunts a Ghost

The Hitwoman Hunts a Ghost

Author: JB Lynn

Publisher: Jennifer Baum

Published: 2019-05-21

Total Pages: 181

ISBN-13:

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Bumbling hitwoman Maggie Lee has discovered the sister she thought was dead might be alive. She’s desperate to find her, but all of her bosses are making unreasonable demands. Demands she can’t afford not to meet. Once again, Delveccio, the chocolate pudding loving mob boss, needs someone whacked. Her obnoxious boss at her day job insists she intervene on his behalf with her semi-psychic friend, Armani. And the mysterious organization with the power to put her almost-lover Patrick behind bars has saddled her with an annoying new partner and sent her on a mission that has gone to the dogs. With the clock ticking, Maggie (along with her snarky lizard, dyslexic Doberman and Southern belle cat) does her best to pull off every job without winding up in jail or dead…but is her best good enough?


The Hitwoman and the Fallen Angel

The Hitwoman and the Fallen Angel

Author: JB Lynn

Publisher: Jennifer Baum

Published: 2019-10-25

Total Pages: 195

ISBN-13:

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Even a good man makes mistakes... In Maggie Lee’s topsy-turvy world, Angel Delveccio is one of the good guys, but now it seems he’s gotten himself into some trouble. Can she get him out of it? It’s not like she doesn’t have enough problems of her own. She’s struggling to pacify both the people and pets of her household -- all of whom aren’t shy about voicing their litany of complaints and demands about their new home. Stretched thin, Maggie attempts to broker familial peace while simultaneously contending with an external threat that revolves around a human skull. And let’s not forget that a certain mobster has tasked her with keeping his nephew out of hot water. Can Maggie protect Angel while keeping her family safe and together, or will someone be lost?


The Hitwoman Owes A Favor

The Hitwoman Owes A Favor

Author: JB Lynn

Publisher: Jennifer Baum

Published: 2021-02-26

Total Pages: 196

ISBN-13:

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Maggie Lee may be an inept hitwoman, but she pays her debts. When Maggie told her friend Mia that she’d help her out of any mess she found herself in, she meant it. Of course they’d both been fifteen at the time. Maggie hasn't seen Mia in forever, until she suddenly shows up, intent on holding Maggie to her promise. Mia's husband has disappeared, taking their money with him and she desperately needs it. While Maggie has other things to worry about, namely protecting her father from whoever is trying to kill him, Mia makes it impossible for her to not reciprocate the favor. Bound by a pinky swear, Maggie tracks down Mia’s soon-to-be-ex but doing so puts her at odds with the guys who have her back: Patrick, Zeke and Gino. If Maggie’s not careful, her long-ago promise could have deadly consequences…especially since her psychic friend has predicted she’s going to die.


The Hitwoman Takes a Road Trip

The Hitwoman Takes a Road Trip

Author: JB Lynn

Publisher: Jennifer Baum

Published: 2019-05-21

Total Pages: 204

ISBN-13:

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Some people just can’t outrun trouble. Overwhelmed hitwoman Maggie Lee thinks she’s leaving her family worries behind when she’s convinced to take a road trip with her buddy, Armani. But pretty soon an old friend, a pesky relative, and even her pet, are asking for her help. Loyal to a fault, Maggie soon finds herself tangled in a dangerous theft involving a crime family; confronting the abusive previous owner of her cat, Piss; and dealing with family revelations that rock her world. With the assistance of psychic predictions, talking animals and unexpected allies, Maggie takes on her troubles head-on. But if she’s not careful, this “vacation” could literally be the death of her.


The Hitwoman and the Teddy Bear

The Hitwoman and the Teddy Bear

Author: JB Lynn

Publisher: Jennifer Baum

Published: 2021-04-30

Total Pages: 206

ISBN-13:

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Maggie Lee has done some really questionable things, but she’s never stooped so low as to steal a child’s toy. There’s a first time for everything. Maggie’s life is always complicated, but her tenuous balancing act becomes even more dangerous when she’s given the job of stealing a teddy bear from the grandson of the mobster Delveccio. As she struggles to keep the different facets of her life separate, her family faces multiple threats to their safety, and there’s a very real chance she won’t be able to protect everyone she loves. Her best chance at success depends on the help of her pets…and you can bet they all have something to say about that.